Hola! I'm just writing this off the top of my head, but maybe someone will
like it. Probably not, but let's see if people like it. You never know,
miracles do happen. This is from the babysitter's point-of-view. When you
read this fic, you become the babysitter(Paypa), and you are stricken with
the horrors of watching Trunks and Goten(ages 8 and 7). Yes, it is kinda
"Americanized." Oh well, it's still good. Enjoy my boredom! Oh yeah, and
don't be too hard on it. It's my first attempt on a humor fic.
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ. Trunks and Goten were lying to you when they said that.
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Babysitting Saiya-jins: From The Victim's Point of View
By: Ponytail Goddess
Chapter 1: The Terror Begins
I look at the large mansion. Wow, Capsule Corp. is as large as my friends have told me. I think I'll enjoy my short stay here, regardless of what my friends have told me.
Taking my blue duffel bag into my arms, I look through the contents quickly. My boyfriend's Orange Star Highschool jacket, a first aid kit, Twister, a few Disney DVD's, a Plen-T pack of Wrigley's Doublemint gum, crayons and a Christmas coloring book, cell phone, Geometry and Biology homework, and a tampon.
*Surely I can keep two kids busy for a night*
My friend Pensla doesn't think I can. She said that she was never coming back here, even though Mrs. Briefs paid her 100 dollars for the one night! She is crazy! She thinks I need a football helmet to watch them! I think she's watched Dennis the Menace one too many times.
I am not going to give up a job that pays 100 dollars a night! That is just pure craziness! I think Pensla has gone insane. Someone call the funny farm!
With my restored confidence, I walk up to the door and knock.
"VEGETA, GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS AND ANSWER THE DAMN DOOR!!!!!"
"MAKE ME BITCH!!!! I'M NOT YOUR SERVANT!!! YOU CAN'T ORDER THE PRINCE OF SAIYA-JIN'S AROUND!!!!"
My eyes widen at such language that is spoken so loudly. I have never heard such loud screaming in my life!
"IF YOU DON'T ANSWER IT THEN YOU CAN KISS YOUR GRAVITY MACHINE GOOD- BYE!!!!!!"
There was a sudden silence. A scary silence. Then the door was whipped open. I have to bite my lip so that I don't laugh. I'm staring at this midget man with hair that sticks up, defying all laws of gravity.
"Are you the brat sitter?!?", he demanded. He was very intimidating.
"Yes."
"Hmph"
He walked away from the door, leaving it open.
*I guess I should follow..*
I walk in gingerly. It's a lovely house, equipped with all of the latest conveniences. I should have expected this. It is the house of the famous billionaire Bulma Briefs, inventor of all cool and helpful things.
*Wow*
Suddenly I realize that I am staring with my jaw dropped to the floor. I snap out of it, and go looking for that short man who is presumably Mr. Briefs.
However, I run into Mrs. Briefs first. She looks stressed as she races down the stairs while putting on her shoes.
"Oh, hello, are you Paypa?"
"Yes", I reply.
"Ok, I know you expected 2 kids, but what would you think if I said there was another here for you to watch?"
"Umm..that's fine, I suppose. It'll be no problem."
"Great! Her name is Marron, and she's umm.three or four. I can't remember."
"Yeah, we'll get along great."
"Vegeta wasn't mean to you at the door, was he?"
"No, he was ok."
"That's a first" , she muttered, thinking that I wouldn't hear it probably, though I did.
"Ok, There are 120 frozen pizza's in the freezer, make them all. Use all of the racks in the ovens so that it won't take too long."
I stare at her in utter amazment. "..120..pizzas?!?!?"
"Yeah, hopefully that will be enough. Make sure that Marron gets some. Trunks and Goten will try to hog it all."
"Uh...ok.."
"Make sure that they are in bed by 9:00 p.m. They'll all need baths.", she said as she rushed around looking for her purse. She found it under the kitchen table.
"Ok, is there anything else I need to know?"
"Yes, and this one is very important. Don't let them have any pop or chocolate, understand? It's for your personal safety as well as the rest of the neighborhood's."
"Ok, no caffeine or heavy amounts of sugar. I've got it covered."
"Thanks! The phone number of the restaurant is on the fridge! So is my cell phone number! We'll be back around midnight!"
"Ok, have a good time!"
After hearing my reply she grabbed her husband and they were out the door in less than a minute. I am left in silence.
*I wonder where the kids are?*
I set off looking for them. Two boys and a girl, this couldn't be too hard, could it? It would be alright if they stayed off of caffeine, right?
"Trunks! Goten! Marron!", I call out, "Where are you guys?"
I walk through the house that is slowly getting dark. It is now sort of creepy. I climb up the stairwell slowly, exhausted already from searching the abnormally large house for the children. The stairs creeked under her feet. I feel chills go up my spine.
*Where are these kids are why are they so damn quiet?*
Something furry brushes up against my leg! I scream and try to get away from it. I end up tripping over it and falling back down the stairs.
THUMP!!!!! My butt takes a hard landing on the wooden floor. Then I hear something...giggling. Damn kids. I vaguely make out a light switch on the wall. I flip it. I see a black cat on the stairway(A/N: the kitty that always hangs off Dr. Briefs' shoulder).
"Oh, poor little kitty cat."
I go and pick it up. It scampers out of my arms and hangs itself off of my shoulder. I let hang there; it's kinda cute.
*Now where are those kids?*
Then I get an idea. If the kids eat as Bulma had made out that they did, maybe I can persuade them out with food. I think this is a wonderful idea.
I head down to the kitchen and open the large freezer. Inside, as promised, were 120 frozen pizzas. I grab a few and set the oven to 400. I notice that there are about 60 racks in the oven. How efficient.
I count out 60 pizzas and place one on each rack. I start to break a sweat while opening the plastic wrap and putting them all on the racks.
*This is absolutely absurd. Kids cannot possibly eat this much food. I cannot possibly eat this much food. My boyfriend, the kids, and me cannot eat this much food.. Maybe Bulma has gone crazy. Perhaps fame does that to people..*
Finally I have the oven filled. I sit back on one of the twirly stools at their food bar.
*Whew*
I glance at the clock on the wall.
5:30.
*It's going to be a long night*
The oven beeps. I grab the blue oven mitts and take them out one by one and place them on the 60 shelf cooling rack.
*Thank goodness Bulma has all of these wonderful things. I wouldn't make it without them.*
As if on cue, two whirlwinds raced into the kitchen as I placed the last pizza on the rack. Trunks and Goten. They sit up on the stools, looking eagerly at the food before them. Goten is slightly drooling. They look like they haven't eaten in a few days.
"So you guys show up for the food, huh? Why didn't you come out when I called you?"
"You called?", Trunks asked, looking semi-innocent. Only semi.
I narrow my eyes dangerously. These two were going to be trouble, I could just tell. "What have you guys been up to?", I ask as I get out some paper plates.
"Just...playing...", Goten says dreamily. It is obvious that his mind is more focused on the food in front of him.
"Well, let's hope that you guys have worked up an appetite. Say, where's Marron?",I asked, suddenly remembering that there were three kids to watch, not just two.
The two boys stopped eating for a second, looked at each other and smirked suspiciously.
*Uh-oh*
Finally, Trunks says, "Well..we were playing Native Sacrifice upstairs. She's probably still up there in my room." Goten and him both snicker after that is said.
*Native Sacrifice? Dende help me, this is going to be a long night...*
"Yeah", Goten chimes in, "Maybe you should go upstairs and get her before she misses out on dinner."
"Ok, you guys behave well I go get her. If I have any trouble you will be going to bed early."
With that stated, I walk out of the room and head up the badly lighted staircase.
*You'd think that Bulma would have put more windows in this house.*
Once I'm upstairs I start to open doors and look for Marron. I realize that I should have asked them which room was his. When I'm a bit farther down the hallway, I hear a faint cry for help. I run in that direction. What if something had happened to her while I wasn't watching?!? I'd be in horrible trouble!
I open the door the room where it is coming from. I gasp. There is a little blonde girl with feathers in her pigtails tied to the bedpost with duct tape! She has little Indian signs painted onto her face!
"Oh my goodness! Are you ok sweetheart?" I ask, racing over to her.
"Yes! Tell Trunks and Goten that I don't want to be a sacrifice anymore!"
"Don't worry, you don't have to be one. I'll get you out of there."
I look around Trunks' room for something to help me 'untape' her. I see a whole bunch of high-tech gadgets. I have never seen an eight year old with so much stuff. I go and look in his desk. Sure enough, there is a pair of scissors.
"Ok, Marron, hold still and I'll have you out of this in no time." I start cutting from the bottom up carefully, as to not cut her or her clothes. Once I cut the last strip she tumbles to the floor and starts to cry. I give her a hug.
"Shh..It'll be ok honey."
I start to rip the tape off of her clothes. Thank goodness that she wasn't wearing short sleeves or her arm hair might have been ripped off. I also remove the colorful feathers from her hair.
Once that is done I take her into the bathroom that goes off of Trunks' room.
*I swear, those boys are going to bed early for this*
"Ok, let's see if we can get these markings off of your face."
I take a bar of soap and start to scrub. They don't come off. I scrub harder. They are still on there.
*Damn, they must have used permanent ink.*
"I'm sorry Marron. They won't come off. It might take a few days to get them off."
"Why?"
"Because it's permanent ink."
"Why?"
"Because that's what Trunks and Goten used on your face dear."
"Why?"
I restrain myself from ripping the hair out from my head. *This is going to be a long night...*
I start to answer Marron, but then I am suddenly interrupted by a loud crash coming from below.
The kitchen.
Trunks and Goten.
*It's going to be a long night*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That's the end of chapter 1. I hope you liked it. Please review. Please don't be too hard on me, this is my first attempt on a humor fic. Originally this was just going to be a one-shot, but it looks like it's going to be a bit longer than I thought. I'll have the next chapter up a.s.a.p. Until then...
-Ponytail Goddess
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ. Trunks and Goten were lying to you when they said that.
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Babysitting Saiya-jins: From The Victim's Point of View
By: Ponytail Goddess
Chapter 1: The Terror Begins
I look at the large mansion. Wow, Capsule Corp. is as large as my friends have told me. I think I'll enjoy my short stay here, regardless of what my friends have told me.
Taking my blue duffel bag into my arms, I look through the contents quickly. My boyfriend's Orange Star Highschool jacket, a first aid kit, Twister, a few Disney DVD's, a Plen-T pack of Wrigley's Doublemint gum, crayons and a Christmas coloring book, cell phone, Geometry and Biology homework, and a tampon.
*Surely I can keep two kids busy for a night*
My friend Pensla doesn't think I can. She said that she was never coming back here, even though Mrs. Briefs paid her 100 dollars for the one night! She is crazy! She thinks I need a football helmet to watch them! I think she's watched Dennis the Menace one too many times.
I am not going to give up a job that pays 100 dollars a night! That is just pure craziness! I think Pensla has gone insane. Someone call the funny farm!
With my restored confidence, I walk up to the door and knock.
"VEGETA, GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS AND ANSWER THE DAMN DOOR!!!!!"
"MAKE ME BITCH!!!! I'M NOT YOUR SERVANT!!! YOU CAN'T ORDER THE PRINCE OF SAIYA-JIN'S AROUND!!!!"
My eyes widen at such language that is spoken so loudly. I have never heard such loud screaming in my life!
"IF YOU DON'T ANSWER IT THEN YOU CAN KISS YOUR GRAVITY MACHINE GOOD- BYE!!!!!!"
There was a sudden silence. A scary silence. Then the door was whipped open. I have to bite my lip so that I don't laugh. I'm staring at this midget man with hair that sticks up, defying all laws of gravity.
"Are you the brat sitter?!?", he demanded. He was very intimidating.
"Yes."
"Hmph"
He walked away from the door, leaving it open.
*I guess I should follow..*
I walk in gingerly. It's a lovely house, equipped with all of the latest conveniences. I should have expected this. It is the house of the famous billionaire Bulma Briefs, inventor of all cool and helpful things.
*Wow*
Suddenly I realize that I am staring with my jaw dropped to the floor. I snap out of it, and go looking for that short man who is presumably Mr. Briefs.
However, I run into Mrs. Briefs first. She looks stressed as she races down the stairs while putting on her shoes.
"Oh, hello, are you Paypa?"
"Yes", I reply.
"Ok, I know you expected 2 kids, but what would you think if I said there was another here for you to watch?"
"Umm..that's fine, I suppose. It'll be no problem."
"Great! Her name is Marron, and she's umm.three or four. I can't remember."
"Yeah, we'll get along great."
"Vegeta wasn't mean to you at the door, was he?"
"No, he was ok."
"That's a first" , she muttered, thinking that I wouldn't hear it probably, though I did.
"Ok, There are 120 frozen pizza's in the freezer, make them all. Use all of the racks in the ovens so that it won't take too long."
I stare at her in utter amazment. "..120..pizzas?!?!?"
"Yeah, hopefully that will be enough. Make sure that Marron gets some. Trunks and Goten will try to hog it all."
"Uh...ok.."
"Make sure that they are in bed by 9:00 p.m. They'll all need baths.", she said as she rushed around looking for her purse. She found it under the kitchen table.
"Ok, is there anything else I need to know?"
"Yes, and this one is very important. Don't let them have any pop or chocolate, understand? It's for your personal safety as well as the rest of the neighborhood's."
"Ok, no caffeine or heavy amounts of sugar. I've got it covered."
"Thanks! The phone number of the restaurant is on the fridge! So is my cell phone number! We'll be back around midnight!"
"Ok, have a good time!"
After hearing my reply she grabbed her husband and they were out the door in less than a minute. I am left in silence.
*I wonder where the kids are?*
I set off looking for them. Two boys and a girl, this couldn't be too hard, could it? It would be alright if they stayed off of caffeine, right?
"Trunks! Goten! Marron!", I call out, "Where are you guys?"
I walk through the house that is slowly getting dark. It is now sort of creepy. I climb up the stairwell slowly, exhausted already from searching the abnormally large house for the children. The stairs creeked under her feet. I feel chills go up my spine.
*Where are these kids are why are they so damn quiet?*
Something furry brushes up against my leg! I scream and try to get away from it. I end up tripping over it and falling back down the stairs.
THUMP!!!!! My butt takes a hard landing on the wooden floor. Then I hear something...giggling. Damn kids. I vaguely make out a light switch on the wall. I flip it. I see a black cat on the stairway(A/N: the kitty that always hangs off Dr. Briefs' shoulder).
"Oh, poor little kitty cat."
I go and pick it up. It scampers out of my arms and hangs itself off of my shoulder. I let hang there; it's kinda cute.
*Now where are those kids?*
Then I get an idea. If the kids eat as Bulma had made out that they did, maybe I can persuade them out with food. I think this is a wonderful idea.
I head down to the kitchen and open the large freezer. Inside, as promised, were 120 frozen pizzas. I grab a few and set the oven to 400. I notice that there are about 60 racks in the oven. How efficient.
I count out 60 pizzas and place one on each rack. I start to break a sweat while opening the plastic wrap and putting them all on the racks.
*This is absolutely absurd. Kids cannot possibly eat this much food. I cannot possibly eat this much food. My boyfriend, the kids, and me cannot eat this much food.. Maybe Bulma has gone crazy. Perhaps fame does that to people..*
Finally I have the oven filled. I sit back on one of the twirly stools at their food bar.
*Whew*
I glance at the clock on the wall.
5:30.
*It's going to be a long night*
The oven beeps. I grab the blue oven mitts and take them out one by one and place them on the 60 shelf cooling rack.
*Thank goodness Bulma has all of these wonderful things. I wouldn't make it without them.*
As if on cue, two whirlwinds raced into the kitchen as I placed the last pizza on the rack. Trunks and Goten. They sit up on the stools, looking eagerly at the food before them. Goten is slightly drooling. They look like they haven't eaten in a few days.
"So you guys show up for the food, huh? Why didn't you come out when I called you?"
"You called?", Trunks asked, looking semi-innocent. Only semi.
I narrow my eyes dangerously. These two were going to be trouble, I could just tell. "What have you guys been up to?", I ask as I get out some paper plates.
"Just...playing...", Goten says dreamily. It is obvious that his mind is more focused on the food in front of him.
"Well, let's hope that you guys have worked up an appetite. Say, where's Marron?",I asked, suddenly remembering that there were three kids to watch, not just two.
The two boys stopped eating for a second, looked at each other and smirked suspiciously.
*Uh-oh*
Finally, Trunks says, "Well..we were playing Native Sacrifice upstairs. She's probably still up there in my room." Goten and him both snicker after that is said.
*Native Sacrifice? Dende help me, this is going to be a long night...*
"Yeah", Goten chimes in, "Maybe you should go upstairs and get her before she misses out on dinner."
"Ok, you guys behave well I go get her. If I have any trouble you will be going to bed early."
With that stated, I walk out of the room and head up the badly lighted staircase.
*You'd think that Bulma would have put more windows in this house.*
Once I'm upstairs I start to open doors and look for Marron. I realize that I should have asked them which room was his. When I'm a bit farther down the hallway, I hear a faint cry for help. I run in that direction. What if something had happened to her while I wasn't watching?!? I'd be in horrible trouble!
I open the door the room where it is coming from. I gasp. There is a little blonde girl with feathers in her pigtails tied to the bedpost with duct tape! She has little Indian signs painted onto her face!
"Oh my goodness! Are you ok sweetheart?" I ask, racing over to her.
"Yes! Tell Trunks and Goten that I don't want to be a sacrifice anymore!"
"Don't worry, you don't have to be one. I'll get you out of there."
I look around Trunks' room for something to help me 'untape' her. I see a whole bunch of high-tech gadgets. I have never seen an eight year old with so much stuff. I go and look in his desk. Sure enough, there is a pair of scissors.
"Ok, Marron, hold still and I'll have you out of this in no time." I start cutting from the bottom up carefully, as to not cut her or her clothes. Once I cut the last strip she tumbles to the floor and starts to cry. I give her a hug.
"Shh..It'll be ok honey."
I start to rip the tape off of her clothes. Thank goodness that she wasn't wearing short sleeves or her arm hair might have been ripped off. I also remove the colorful feathers from her hair.
Once that is done I take her into the bathroom that goes off of Trunks' room.
*I swear, those boys are going to bed early for this*
"Ok, let's see if we can get these markings off of your face."
I take a bar of soap and start to scrub. They don't come off. I scrub harder. They are still on there.
*Damn, they must have used permanent ink.*
"I'm sorry Marron. They won't come off. It might take a few days to get them off."
"Why?"
"Because it's permanent ink."
"Why?"
"Because that's what Trunks and Goten used on your face dear."
"Why?"
I restrain myself from ripping the hair out from my head. *This is going to be a long night...*
I start to answer Marron, but then I am suddenly interrupted by a loud crash coming from below.
The kitchen.
Trunks and Goten.
*It's going to be a long night*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That's the end of chapter 1. I hope you liked it. Please review. Please don't be too hard on me, this is my first attempt on a humor fic. Originally this was just going to be a one-shot, but it looks like it's going to be a bit longer than I thought. I'll have the next chapter up a.s.a.p. Until then...
-Ponytail Goddess