Minerva looks up as Brugroch and Kirzror come charging into her office carrying an acromantula, a small one, but it's still a 5x beast. Drawing her wand just in case she says, "What can I do for you 2, 3?" she corrects herself when the young xenomorph comes in after them.
"Arry always says that anything that attacks us without us doing anything to it can be eaten. But she also says that we shouldn't eat anything that begs for its life. This did both, so we decided to come and see you to see if we are allowed to eat it or not."
"I think it's dead already."
"Oh great, that means it's fair game."
"Wait, where did it attack you?"
"In the forest, we were exploring."
Minerva melts down into her new animagus form, "Would you show me where you found it?"
As she races out of the school with the others, Minerva reflects that she probably wouldn't be handling her changes so well, if she didn't have her animagus form to run around in. As it was with the cat, things are so much simpler as a Xenomorph.
Like Xenomorphs, acromantula are creatures that gain intelligence with age rather than birth-right. This means that unless they've been acclimated to humans from birth, they don't differentiate between them and any other animal. At the moment, she needs the stress relief of acceptable targets. Especially given her meeting with the school board this afternoon. The school's budget is a shambles, and the accounts haven't been kept properly for years. There's money in the vaults, but it would take a team of goblins to go through everything. Or one of those computers Arry has.
The landscape turns from a flat plain to a playground of places to jump to and from in her senses as the children lead her deeper into the forest. Not so deep she's in centaur territory, but deep enough that casual visitors, like students, are unlikely to notice. She can already sense the gossamer thin threads of silk running from tree to tree, and the local wildlife has all but disappeared. With only the distressed call of the occasional bird that's got caught in a web to be heard.
"Thank you children, you should go and enjoy your meal. I'm sure that Arry will agree with me later when I say that you can treat these like a rival hive."
As the children run off with their dinner, Minerva looks ahead, her senses already tracking all the movement around her. Melting into the shadows, she quickly starts to hunt the apex predator of the forest. As she moves through the swarm, she hunts larger and larger prey until her frustrations have all been worked out. Each of her kills are taken back to her hive to feed the guardians there. The sun is high in the sky when she trots out of the forest with her own meal and takes it up to the Head Masters office to gorge on it.
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Magorian looks at Firenze, "Sagittarius has moved."
"Indeed. Mars is still bright."
"Two foals will survive that previously wouldn't have."
"Many humans will die because of it."
"They have their fair chance, unlike our foals."
"To go against the stars is folly."
"For us, that is true."
"This is true."
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Minerva walks confidently through the Ministry, the hunt earlier was just what she needed. She licks her lips at the remembered taste of Acromantula. As she walks into the meeting room, she sees Lucius Malfoy seated at the head of the table.
"I believe that you're sitting in my seat Mr Malfoy." Her voice comes out a low purr, and she can see the effect it has on him in the way heat flushes through his body. Still, he reluctantly stands up and moves to his own seat.
Smoothly she moves around the table, aware of the fact her movements are far more predatory than they were before. Taking her seat, she sits and waits for the couple of stragglers to arrive, idly carving designs into the table in front of her, with only a fingernail. She smiles as Malfoy swallows, hard, at the display. When the last board member arrives, she reaches into the pouch at her side and draws out a scroll. Laying it on the table she flicks it with a finger so that it unfurls down the table.
"Gentlemen. Thank you for finding the time to attend this urgent meeting before the start of the school year. Originally, it was just going to be a proforma meeting to inform you of the fact that Mr Dumbledore is taking 2 years of medical leave." – it really is cheating being able to see Malfoy flush with excitement – "However, in my capacity as the Acting Head Master of the school, I came across the school charter, amended 1865. In it you can see the formation of the school board, and their duties therein. As specified in amendment 4, section 3 paragraph 6, I am exercising my right as the Head Master to put you on notice. You have until Easter next year to come up with a viable plan to increase student numbers, to at least the same level as they were in 1800, proportionately to the current population of the country. Failing to do this will see the penalties in sections 8-9 levied on you. Any questions?"
"What authority do you have to do this?"
"That is outlined under amendment 2, penned in 1362."
One of the other members asks, "Why have we never seen this document?"
"Oh, but you have. You signed a copy of it when you became a board member. As per the charter, your copy was then deposited with Gringotts bank in the Hogwarts vaults. I checked, they're all still there."
"(I've been a member for 40 years, how was I supposed to remember that)"
"The same way you remember every other business deal you make."
The board member looks up guiltily, as he was sure that was muttered quietly to be inaudible to everyone except his neighbour.
"How do we get a copy of this?"
"You petition the Department for Education, they will then give you a slip that you take to the Hall of Records and petition for a copy. I believe that the law was changed in 1984, wasn't it Mr Malfoy. Prior to that they would take a minor fee, and you would be owled your copy within a week. Now, you have to pay for an access panel to be assembled. They will then assess your claim and judge whether it's necessary. After a month, they will reconvene, also on your knut, and ask any additional questions they have, you also have the opportunity to appeal any prior decisions they made at this time. They are allowed to do this 6 times before they are required to make a final decision on if you are actually allowed your document or not. In fact, Mr Bellevue I believe your name was one of the sponsors of that particular law too.
"Any other questions?"
"Are we allowed to read this copy?"
"This meeting is scheduled for another 20 minutes. Until that time is up, you can inspect it to your hearts content."
Minerva sits down with a smile on her face as all 10 of the men around the table scramble to read that amendment. They should really be reading amendment 6, which was the last amendment made. As that details the punishments to be levied against a corrupt school board, the first step being to ensure that they were aware that they have responsibilities, and what they're supposed to be. She's not entirely sure why Albus never used this. She suspects that it's because he was the Chief Warlock before he became Head Master. Beyond that, she's not sure if he never took the time to read the entire charter, which at 12 foot in length, written in tiny script, was a dense and headache inducing read. Given the well thumbed book of laws that should have been in the library, she suspects that it was actually down to a conflict of interests. Especially given that every single board member is politically powerful. Once the time of the meeting is up, a quick tap of her wand has the scroll furled and in her pouch faster then the men can see. Without another word, she leaves the room despite the calls for just a few more minutes.
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Making her way to the education department, Minerva smooths out her robes and tries to ensure her smile isn't quite so predatory as it was before. Between one step and another, she flames home to the Hive.
"Arry."
Arry looks up from her ovipositor, "Yes Minva?"
"I have a vague idea that there are handheld computers around. Would you have a couple of them that wouldn't look too out of place on earth?"
"Hmm, maybe. Meet me in storage room 1", Arry teleports away with a large pop, and Minerva follows.
"Nope, nope, nope, too thin."
"Actually Arry, could I have that one?"
"Sure, there you go. Nope, Nope."
"Why not that one? It looks a bit like a muggle boxfile."
"If you're sure, it's a bit overkill for what you want though."
"Why?"
"It's a colony assistance tool, so it's not just a computer. It's also got a medical scanner, surveying sensors, and a communications package that can reach half way across the galaxy."
"That's not the important thing though, it looks like something you might find in the muggle world."
"Ok, here you go then."
"Thanks, I'll be off then, I'm interviewing potential teachers for the rest of the day."
"Enjoy."
With a flash of fire, Minerva is back in the corridor and finishes walking to the department. As she enters, Madam Marchbanks looks up from some paperwork, "Good afternoon, I wasn't expecting you for another 30 minutes at least."
"The meeting was only scheduled for 30 minutes."
"Albus has never had a board meeting last less than an hour."
"I found the school charter."
Marchbanks looks pleasantly surprised, "Oh, you did, did you. I thought the Hogwarts copy had been lost."
Minerva laughs, "Not lost, sat beside the library copy of the ministry laws. I'll note that Irma was most upset at the condition of that particular book when I returned it. As saying it was well thumbed would be generous."
"I see, I take it you're thinking about making a bid for your temporary position to become permanent then."
"The thought had crossed my mind."
After a cup of tea to pass the time, Marchbanks leads Minerva to a small meeting room with a couple of reading chairs, a coffee table, and a dining chair set up on the other side for the applicant to sit on. To one side there's a small fireplace, that thankfully doesn't have a lit fire in it. There they start interviewing for the potions position first. These pass easily, as it's a simple matter of checking their qualifications, and then asking each applicant how they plan to teach first year students. They end up choosing a young Romani whose plan is to not even start them out with a potion for the first term, instead focusing on teaching ingredient and workplace prep and clean-up, along with refining their stirring techniques, timing, and temperature regulation. With those out the way, Minerva takes out the colony assistance tool and places it on the coffee table, after using muscle memory she never learnt, to set a small section of the screen to blink red while the rest remains dark.
Madam Marchbanks looks at the device curiously, but the first applicant comes in before she can ask about it. After that, they interview candidate after candidate with no results. Finally, they come to the muggleborn candidates and they start showing some interest in the box. Eventually a young woman comes in and looks at the box on the table curiously, "Is that a Tri-corder?"
Minerva looks at the young woman and smiles, "Why don't you tell me about a Tri-corder and I'll tell you if it is one."
"Are you sure, I thought this was an interview."
"Count it as an interview question."
"Oh, well in that case. It's a computer from the original Star Trek that they used on away missions. Usually by Mr Spock, but Dr McCoy has his own version. In the show they use them for everything from medical diagnosis to surveying."
"Would you be interested in learning how to use it if it was?"
"Oh hell yes. Sorry. Before I got my Hogwarts letter, I used to pretend I was in Starfleet. My mother used to take me to meetings with the local women, and they'd talk about it there. I even wrote a letter asking them not to cancel it. It cost a small fortune in stamps. Of course, then the war happened while I was at Hogwarts, and they got my parents shortly before that Halloween. Sorry, just bad memories."
"Don't be sorry, you've got the job."
"What? Really?"
Marchbanks echoes her, "What? Really?"
"Yes, I need an assistant to help with paperwork. Part of that is going to be loading all of the accounts onto this, doing the math necessary and then copying it out into the ledger. As the school can't afford the team of goblins it would take to do it without one."
"Wait, that's actually a tri-corder?"
"I was told this is a colony assistance tool, so no, it's not something from your show. I picked it as it looked like something that you might see in the muggle world." – Minerva pulls out the smaller, lighter, and vastly thinner computer she picked out for herself – "It will probably be more like this."
"Wow, they've got those in the new Star Trek series, TNG. Can I be frank for a moment?"
Minerva smiles gently, "Go ahead."
"I would never have expected a pureblood like yourself to know what those were, let alone have one."
"That's ok, I don't think Madam Marchbanks did either. What made you apply for this job?"
"I couldn't get anything in the magical world after I graduated in 82, so I went to evening college in the non-magical world and got my O levels. From there I did a secretarial course, and paid my way by working odd jobs waitressing in both the magical and non-magical worlds. After that, I didn't have enough experience for the better jobs, I was too old for the entry level jobs. And I just got laid off from my waitressing job. This was my last ditch at trying to find something that would pay the bills, though I didn't think I'd get anywhere. What with purebloods being put at the top of the list."
"What's a secretarial course teach?"
Madam Marchbanks pays attention to this answer too, "Well, you need good English scores to get in, and they teach you shorthand. So that you can take notes quickly and efficiently. You need to also get a level 3 pitman qualification, that means I can touch type at 60 words per minute. Then there's classes on filing, data retrieval, and things like using card indexes. How to answer the phone and operate a switchboard and a few other things like professional letter writing."
"I'm sure that you'll be making good use of those skills in this job. You'll be paid 13 galleons a week, and get room and board during the school year. You'll be screening my owls and floo calls, as well as helping to catch up on the paperwork, and make notes on staff meetings. Do you have any questions?"
"Can I store my stuff at the school?"
"Not typically, though you will need a vault at Gringotts to receive your pay. For a modest fee, they allow you to store non-monetary items in their vaults."
"I don't suppose I could get an advance?"
"No, but you could start work tomorrow."
"That could work, my flat's paid up to the end of the month. So if I could get the vault sorted out next week, I could move all my stuff over the weekend."
"I think we can do that."
Madam Marchbanks asks, "Head Mistress, why Miss Dunns and not any of the other candidates?"
"She recognised this, she was curious enough to ask about it, and she had the courage to ask about it. An assistant won't be much assistance if they're not willing to speak up when they don't know something. Or even worse, when they do know something and I don't."
"You are going to be a breath of fresh air, I can tell."