"Miss Dunns, welcome to Hogwarts, while you're working for me. Please call me Minerva."
"Please call me Priya, I've got rather used to the modern non-magical way of addressing people"
"Very well Priya. If you'll follow me I'll take you to your suite. As with all staff members it has a bedroom, bathroom, receiving room, and a small study for personal research and correspondence. I assume you're familiar with the layout of the school, as you attended for your own schooling in the 70's. I looked up your scores this morning, and I have to say I'm impressed. It's not often we see anyone achieve 7 O's on their NEWTs, especially after a tragedy such as yours. We do have some unusual children running around, of distinctly non-human appearance. I am their somewhat caretaker while they're on earth. I'm sure that we'll meet them at some point today, if not I'll make sure you're introduced at the evening meal."
"When you say non-human, given your computer, do you mean aliens like from Star Trek?"
"While I have yet to see that show, I have no doubt that it's highly unlikely to be anything like Star Trek. In my experience, stories, whether in the theatre or in a book, always paint the world in a far better light than it actually is. If only because most people would never believe just how bad the world can be. The children represent 3 of the 4 major space faring species in the galaxy. I'm sure that you will meet members of the 4th soon enough. With one known exception, one of those species is very much like acromantula, except structured like ants instead of spiders. The only members of that species you'll meet here belong to that exception."
"I see." Priya says nervously.
"Well, we're here, Isabella, this is Miss Priya Dunns, she will be using these quarters from now on."
A painting of a Spanish Queen jerks awake, "Oh, Head Master, I didn't see you there."
"Good Morning Isabella. This is Miss Priya Dunns, she will be using these quarters from now on."
"Oh, good morning. I do hope you have more suitable attire Miss Dunns, what you're wearing is completely unsuitable for appearing in court."
"Miss Dunns is to be my assistant, so court appearances should be few and far between."
"Oh that's a terrible shame. Well, if you ever do make a court appearance, do let me know and I'll help you with your outfit."
Priya smiles, "Certainly Highness."
"None of that I'm just a portrait now, call me Isabella."
Minerva nods, "Well, I'm off to the Head Master's office. Once you're settled in meet me there, I'll instruct the gargoyle to allow you free access."
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Priya finally makes her way into the Head Masters office, and stops in dismay at the parchment work everywhere. In the mundane world, she thought that piles of paperwork you couldn't see over was only something you saw in cartoons and comedies. Minerva stands up from her desk, "Come in, I've put your desk by the window. Don't mind Ptiana, she's sulking as she's been banned from having any lemon drops until Christmas."
Priya looks at the phoenix Minerva waves at in surprise, "I thought the phoenix was called Fawkes."
Minerva laughs, "So did everyone else, until she met someone that could understand her. All the rumours about Phoenixes being creatures of the light, all false." – Ptiana squawks irritably – "Personally, I think the only reason they tend to stick around with Good wizards is that good wizards are less likely to try to vivisect them." – Ptiana warbles – "Vivisect is similar to dissect, however the subject is still alive."
Priya is astonished to see the phoenix shudder and then nod vehemently.
Minerva continues, "You see, in the official texts they say varying things, from they are merely hard to tame and live reclusively on mountain tops, to they will occasionally choose a wizard or witch as a companion. Obviously, common belief is the 'creature of the light'. The truth is that they're nigh on immortal and pick wizards that can persuade them they'll be interesting to be around. This tends to be those like Dumbledore, who has been in 2 wars, was quite an adventurer in his youth, and is arguably the most powerful wizard alive today. They are also highly intelligent, even if they don't speak a language humans can understand."
"Minerva. This might be presumptuous, but given that you can understand her, and you said that humans can't. Does that mean you're not human?"
Minerva carefully reviews what she just said before sighing, "It means that I'm no longer entirely human."
"Does this have anything to do with the computers we'll be using?"
"It does."
"Figures. Magic exists, so why not aliens too."
"I did say this morning."
"I know, it's just now starting to sink in what it actually means. My inner Star Trek fan is jumping up and down, but you seem so certain it's not a good thing."
"Life is cheap out there. That's by the by, and you'll probably end up learning far more than you ever wanted to as time goes on. For the moment, this is all of the neglected paperwork for the school. What I'm currently trying to do is sort it into correspondence, bills, receipts, and internal matters. Once that's done the most urgent thing to do is go through the schools finances and get those sorted out. After all, we can't make any plans without knowing just how much money we have coming in and going out."
"What do we do with anything addressed to Mr Dumbledore?"
"We read it to see if it has anything to do with the school. If it doesn't then we'll write a quick letter back to explain Mr Dumbledore's absence and add it to the trunk in the corner. It's the 3rd such trunk I've started since taking over as Acting Head, in many ways it would be simpler if he was dead, as only family heirlooms would need to be considered. All of his other personal effects would become school property."
"Professor."
"Minerva please, you're my assistant not a student."
"Minerva then, I've found a receipt for a subscription to Honcho Magazine, what should I do with it?"
Minerva sighs, "Check to see if it's billed to the school or Dumbledore, if the latter add it to the trunk."
"Minva, Minva, this one's still alive." Krizror, Brugroch, and the as yet unnamed xenomorph all bundle into the office carrying another acromantula. As she looks up from her desk Priya's mouth drops open and she can't help but stare at the three children.
Minerva stands up from behind the paperwork and walks around her desk to crouch down beside the children, "So it is, well done. Do you remember what I said about acromantula?"
Krizror, the spider like one, says, "Err, no sorry?"
"That's ok, you can treat them like a rival hive. That doesn't mean you should go hunting them deliberately, as some of them grow big enough to rival Arry."
"But other hives can't talk properly."
"Well, why don't we talk to it, and see what you think afterwards. Hello, I can see you're awake."
The acromantula says in a sibilant voice, "Let me go, I promise I won't try to hunt not-food again."
"What makes us not food?"
"You hunts us. Not prey, not food."
"What about my assistant over there." She waves at Priya and the acromantula turns to look.
"It is not yet food. Agog still queen, say not kill prey that live in stone hill."
"And how do you determine what is prey and what isn't?"
"Prey is food, not prey makes us food."
"See, what do you think now?"
The three children seem to converse for a few minutes, though Priya can't hear anything, "We sees. Yay! We have lunch, acromantula yummy."
Priya finally gets her wits back in some semblance of order, "Hello?"
"Oh, children, I'd like you to meet my new Assistant, Priya Dunns."
"Hello Peeya." Two of the children chorus.
"My name is Priya."
Brugroch nods seriously, "Peeya."
Minerva shakes her head, "Don't bother, it's your name now. I've given up asking why they call me Minva."
"Why do they call you Minva?"
Arry appears in a flash of fire, "Oh, hey. I'm Arry. Sorry to interrupt Minva, but the Yautja we rescued have finished their initial adjustments, but they need to be near me regularly over the next cycle. Is there any chance you could put them up in the school?"
Minerva thinks about it for a moment, "I think we can do that, though Ne'stbei will need to be enrolled as a first year, and Ce'jaun as a 4th year on a remedial track until she's caught up."
"Thanks Minva. Oh, do you mind if I go and hunt some acromantula, as they went down really well."
"Feel free, just remember to leave some alive."
"Yeah, yeah, I know breeding stock. Life was simpler when I didn't know these things."
Priya ventures, "Erm, Arry was it? Why do you mispronounce Minerva's name?"
Pomona chooses that moment to flame in with Murph and Vesta, "Hey Minerva, sorry to drop in unannounced, but I'm just taking this little one home. I will be gone most of the day, as Dennis and I are going to try and get Murph involved in Vesta's lessons."
Minerva sighs, "Ok, thanks for letting me know. Priya, don't bother asking, something will just come up every time you do."
"What? Really, every single time you ask about the pronunciation of your name?"
Professor Babbling walks into the office and stops, "Oh, sorry. The gargoyle just let me through. Minerva, when you have a minute, could you go over some of your head of house notes with me? I'm not entirely sure why the Weasley twins have a note about never letting them find out about laxatives."
"I'll tell you later about the time Lily Evans told James Potter about them, and the results of the week afterwards amongst the snakes and badgers."
"Oh… Oh! Right, that makes sense now."
Professor Vector walks in and Priya looks at Minerva beseechingly, "I didn't say anything."
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Arry appears in Diagon Alley with a whoosh of fire, Ne'stbei and Ce'jaun holding her hands on either side. Both the Yautja are geared for a safe hunt, having left their shoulder mounted weapons behind. As they appear, there are shrieks from a few of the bystanders and people start to give them a wide berth. Arry looks down at herself "Pauk, I forgot how prudish they are about clothes."
Looking at her companions, she swears again before stalking to Madam Malkins, the crowd averting their eyes or, in a few cases, staring lasciviously at the three females. When the first man, obviously drunk despite the early hour, steps forward and slips his hand around her waist before fondling a breast, he gets as far as, "So how much for an hour with…" before his arm is removed at the shoulder by Arry's tail. Grabbing the arm before it lands, she just carries on walking with the arm slung over her shoulder dripping blood on the cobblestones behind her.
By the time she arrives at the shop, witches are gossiping things like, "Such shameful behaviour." "Yes, about time someone taught that sort a lesson." Meanwhile the wizards are gossiping things like, "Did you see what she did?" "Yes, most uncalled for. A polite no thankyou would have been more than enough." "I know, how are you supposed to meet witches if you're in fear of your limbs."
When Arry shoves open the door to Madam Malkins, the madam looks up at the eep from one of her assistants. Seeing the bloody arm, she sighs, "Please leave the arm by the door, what can I be doing for you Miss Potter?"
"Oh, right, sorry. I forgot about the human custom of wearing clothes before I arrived, so I'd like three outfits suitable for shopping today. I've only got 50 galleons on me at the moment, so just something cheap. We'll be back later when I've been to the bank to get school outfits for these two."
The girls just glance at each other bemusedly while the madam sighs, "Changing room 3, Dora, Trixie, please take their measurements. Sandra, you've seen hags come in here before with their afternoon snacks. Just treat them like that, or lamia if you must."
As they're being led into the back, another door opens and a blond boy has his eyes quickly covered by his mothers hand.
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Arry, Ne'stbei, and Ce'jaun all exit the store, now clothed appropriately for the location, if not for their own tastes. As they do they come face to face with a pink woman that stinks of perfume, oh wait, it's a human wearing excessive levels of pink, and too much blusher. Just behind her are a few thuggish looking men, wearing large grins on their faces. One of them is carrying a large double bladed executioners axe easily in one hand. Around the three, a large crowd has formed, and a group of Aurors along with Mr Ollivander are trying to push through.
"By order of the Ministry, these three creatures are to be summarily slaughtered after showing themselves to be a clear and present threat to wizardkind."
A witch to one side jeers, "Only if they get too handsy."
Ignoring the jeer, the woman in pink calls out, "McNair, Tallfellow, the order has been served."
Slightly confused, the two Yautja look at Arry before they're forced to duck as Tallfellow fires some sickly yellow lights their way. Arry almost casually sidesteps the axe that McNair is wielding before taking his head off with her claws. In a smooth motion, Ne'stbei has donned her own claws, and stabbed the woman up through the stomach, and out the back of her lungs with 40cm of steel bladed claws. Tallfellow falls to the floor with a chakram between his eyes, and the cheering crowd steps back to avoid the blood spatter. This also allows the Aurors and Mr Ollivander through.
Ollivander hurries through, ahead of the Aurors, and, heedless of the blood, abases himself in front of the two Yautja.
"Great hunters, please forgive our government. These people do not deserve to suffer for the arrogance of a few."
Arry looks confused, "What are you talking about?"
"The Yautja."
Ce'jaun crouches down, "You know of us?"
"My father was a child when you arrived in 1815, hunting dragons. The village of Bridgeshear ceased to exist that day, with only the children and two pregnant women spared."
"How did they offend the honour of the Hunters?"
"They drew wands and attempted to drive them from the village for being non-human. They killed one, and the other three slaughtered the rest in retaliation."
"Those Yautja were without honour, as our code says that only those that are armed should be hunted. Whether they have natural or manufactured weapons, they must be armed."
One of the Aurors stammers, "I…I'm so…sorry to interrupt. Could we have the arm back please?"
Arry looks over in surprise, "Huh? I was going to have it for lunch later, but sure."
"Thank you. Also, I have been sent to ask that you attempt to refrain from such grievous injuries unless they have attempted to do you harm."
"What about these three?"
"Obviously self defence due to overreach of the Department for the Regulation of Magical creatures. We won't be arresting you for that."
As Arry flames out with all three bodies, and the axe, another one mutters, "Not that we could 'old em though."
The last one discretely vanishes the warrant for arrest that Dawlish gave him after speaking to the Minister.
Ce'jaun reaches out and, taking one of Ollivander's hands, pulls the old man back up to his feet. "Unlike those that had no honour, we will not attack those that have attacked us. Personally, or cowardly by proxy. I am to understand that we will be visiting your crafts hall soon, as we require a wand for our stay at the school."
"Thank you for your mercy."
"This is not mercy, it is just plain sense. If we do not act with honour, then how can we expect others to do so. Tell me, are there any other stories of visitors from above?"
"Only the Raka, who were said to be the most fearsome non-magical dragons. Instead of having magic, they were fast, lean, stealthy, and deadly hunters. A famous war wizard slew the last one present in the British Isles, the muggles have named him St George. This was around 1700 years ago. It's also rumoured that a Raka dragon killed the muggle explorer Captain Scott in 1912 while he was exploring Antartica."
Arry reappears in a flash of fire, "Did I miss anything?"
"Only that there have been R'ka here before, maybe less than a century ago."
Arry frowns, "That's concerning, I don't feel any at the moment, but they could be in hibernation. Remind me to bring back some heavy duty scanning equipment, as the last thing we want is for them to awaken while I'm at school, and all of us lose ourselves to our instincts while in class."
The first Auror speaks up again, "Excuse me Ladies, would we be able to escort you around Diagon Alley for the rest of the day. Just so that we can ensure no other wizards attempt to assault you."
Arry shrugs, "Sure, if you want. I need to go to the bank first, I've got a trinket box to sell."
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Xeno looks around the Rookery sadly. Evidence of months of neglect are clearly apparent throughout the house. With a sigh, he pulls his wand and begins the process of making the place somewhere that Pandora would have been proud to live in again.
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Pomona and Dennis both watch as Vesta and Murph play with paints, and Vesta shows Murph how to hold a paint brush.
"Murph, this isn't food. It's for painting, watch. See how it adds a different texture to the paper?"
Vesta changes into a chest burster briefly before changing back, "It's a shame you can't become a girl like me, you're missing out on the colours. Let's try charcoal. Can you see that against the parchment?"
Softly, Pomona says to Dennis, "I think that's working. Shall we go and get your wife?"
Dennis glances out the door, "I'd like them to get a little more involved, and maybe see if I can get Vesta to read a story to Murph. Her current favourite is 'Harry Potter and the Princess of Gold'."
Pomona laughs, "Arry will probably be tickled pink by the existence of those books once she finds out."
"Why?"
"She was born Harry Potter."
Dennis just gapes at her, "Bubona will be so upset, I'm not sure if it's because she shouted at Arry, or because Arry is clearly no longer human."
A couple of hours later, Bubona is brought in, with a silencing spell, to watch the two children doing their lessons together. Vesta explaining to Murph what everything is.