Disclaimer: The character described in this fic and all others do not belong to me. They all belong to the oh-so-wonderful Naoko Takeuchi.

Author's Note: OK, this is the very first time I've attempted to write a SM fic. I have always been an obsessed fan, of course, but for some reason it never occured to me to write a fanfic... Oh well, the person being desrcibed here is pretty obvious so you won't have a hard time guessing. Enjoy!!





They Smile
by genielou




I see them over a distance, formed in a circle of friends chatting away as they eat their lunch. They look so happy. Content. And they should. They deserve to do so after what we all have been through over the past few years.

So why do I feel so sad? Or 'do' I feel sad? I don't know anymore. I don't know how to determine my feelings anymore. There used to be a day when I didn't have to worry much about what I feel because it didn't matter. I took my mission at heart and was determined to accomplish my goal. My dream was gone and so was my chance at a normal life. My mission was everything I had. I thought I would have to base my whole life on that mission because I thought it'd last until I grow frail and weak. But I guess fate wanted more for me. Not necessarily good, but just more. My mission ended and the silence was silenced.

It felt strange to have nothing to go by. Nothing to follow. Luckily for me, I had my partner, right? And I had a group of girls that were more than happy to accept me as one of them, despite the many things that I've said and done to them. It made me feel sick the way they were so forgiving and kind. It made me sick the way they were always smiling. They battle for life and death practically every single day and, yet, they still smile? And their relationships startle me. One is so tall, outspoken and tomboyish that she'd be avoided by every girl there was. The other is so temperemental, insulting, and judgmental that she should be left alone at all times. Another is so forward, over-ambitious, and energetic that no one can keep up with her boy-crazy antics. And other one is so smart, quiet, and shy that her presence could be forgotten if she does not say a word or two every few minutes. Lastly, my favorite of them all is the one that is so loud, annoying, and whiny that I am surprised that she would even have friends, not to mention a borfriend. Yet she is so cute, charming in her own way and so hopeful, always smiling and always laughing. I can't help but feel for her a bit and I love seeing her adorable pout everytime I call her by her nickname. They are all as different as night and day yet they are together, inseparable and true to each other.

I wasn't one of them and I didn't want to be either. My love, on the other hand, felt comfortable with them and embraced their presence at the very first chance she got. Although I admire the commitment that they seem to share with each other, their optimism is enough to drive a person crazy. That is probably why I am not with them unless neccesary...

Is that right? I don't know again. A part of me wants to be with them at all times. A part of me wants to protect them, keep them safe. A big part of me....

So why do I pull away?

Maybe it's because I'm scared. So long as I can remember, there was only one person that I care to take with me always and have ignored all others, but now... now, five other girls have captured my heart. They are slowly pulling me out of the darkness that I've kept with me for so many years. I fought with them and have risked my life for them. And when I went off with only one presence by my side for a long period of time, I somehow felt cold and incomplete. Maybe she felt the same as well.

"Haruka!"

I awake from my thoughts to see a young blonde jumping up and down as she waves her arms at me, the buns on her head bouncing as well and her sweet voice calling my name.

"Haruka-chan!" my love calls. "Join us!"

I smile. I know now why I cannot determine my feelings. It is because of them. They've given me a new view of life. A new perspective is growing onto me and the change takes a little bit of getting used to.

"Mold will grow on you if you don't move, Haruka-kun!"

I smile at my favorite princess as I walk towards them.

I finally know.

I need them.

Not because I long for friends. Not because I long for a family. Not because my powers are limited in the battlefield.

I need them because they give me hope.

I need them because they smile.






V^_^V

How was it? I would love to get reviews for this. Flames are always welcome but pls take it easy on me. This is my first one...