Blee bleee bleeee
Lily was as we say, a 'train wreck.' She was in the end of her sixth year, prone to epileptic seizures, pudgy, and was constantly trying to hide her sixth finger. For six years, Snape had teased her unmercifully, with good reason. Since I hated Snape so much, that little stuck up prig, I decided to be nice to her, just to make him mad. He wanted Lily to have no friends. One day, in our Muggle Studies class when our professor showed us what he called 'anime.' So when it started playing, and the super hero's eyes started to flash with their death rays, I was the first to notice Lily writhing and twitching exuberantly on the floor. I helped her to the hospital wing, and got her helmet for her, and ever since then we were friends. We wrote to each other over the summer, so there was no surprise when on the Hogwarts express next year, our seventh year, Lily had lost the weight, been miraculously cured of her disorder, and her sixth finger had fallen off. Well, she was a babe, and no mistake young Harry. So I married her and had you…
Harry was no longer smiling. He was just staring at his father. James started looking shiftily all around the room. Harry's face began to crease up, as if he was going to cry again. James looked around panicked. "Ok! OK! So I was lying again. Can't a guy have some artistic license?" All of the sudden, an owl from Dumbledore appeared.