Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews guys ^_^ This one is a bit harder to write then my other stories since I usually stick for more action stuff and stray away from this much fluff… and yes, there will be fluff. Massive amounts of fluff. So review kind of make me think that this isn't as bad as I think it is.

Calger469 - Thanks for the compliment! I try to be original whenever I can.

MP - I'm glad you like KS. I hope this one lives up to your expectations.

Suiren - Thanks ^_^ I'm writing as face as I can.

Kamimura Kaoru : Eesh… what a task master… just kidding ^_^ Thanks for the review.

Blue jeans - I'm still laughing at your review. And hopefully Kenshin is going to start getting the idea.

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Last Chance at Glory
Chapter 2 : Training

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One week passed and it was now three weeks were left before the tournament would occur. I was trying not to feel nervous but… it was hard. I saw Yahiko improving, working so hard to get used to the armor and hitting against the dummy but I couldn't say the same for me.

I had fought against the Juppongatana in Kyoto. I was one of the most well known teachers in my part of Tokyo. But I still just didn't feel like it was going to be enough. The other schools were larger, had more teachers and most of all… they actually have masters at their school.

"All right, Yahiko," I called out. "That enough for today." He stopped and caught his breath. He nodded and walked out of the dojo, obviously happy that he could take off the heavy armor.

I let him go and turned to the training dummy with a frown. I brought the shinai up and brought it down quickly, feeling the reverberation run down my hands. It didn't feel right. No strength, no speed. No wonder there was no master in this school.

I paused and shifted my feet, raising the shinai again for the next strike.

* * *

"Wrong!" he called, watching with disappointment as Kaoru's shinai made contact. "There is no strength or speed behind that strike. Do it again."

"Hai, sensei!" Kaoru called and struck again at the dummy.

"Wrong!" her father called again. "Again."

Kaoru tried, she put all her energy into it but he always told her it was wrong. One week of training and she still couldn't get the simplest strike right. She pulled back and hit again and again and again.

The dojo emptied out as the other students left for home. The sun set, the sensei went for dinner but the dojo was still filled with the sounds of the shinai hitting the dummy. Kaoru's father walked by the door and looked inside, watching his daughter repeat the strike again and again.

He frowned slightly at the sight, wondering if he should go in and stop her. Her face was etched with determination and from the looks of the red blood slowly creeping down her arms, she was working her fingers down to the bone.

He paused a second later before leaving, deciding that it was better this way. She'd give up soon enough.

* * *

I moved to strike again but something caught me. I blinked and looked up, finding my arms were locked in place by another set of hands. I looked over and saw Kenshin slowly pulling the shinai from my hand.

"Nani?" I asked, completely confused.

"You have been practicing for almost an hour," he said.

I blinked again and brought my hands down, seeing the raw skin there. Had it already been an hour? I could still feel the traces of a memory in my mind. What horrible feeling that had been, when I woke up the next morning in the dojo, my hand completely torn to shreds.

But this time… someone had stopped me. I looked over at him with a sad little smile as he let my hands go.

"I guess… I guess I just got caught up," I said, rather lamely.

"Yahiko left for the night but he said you might still be in here," Kenshin said walking out the door.

I followed him silently towards the kitchen where dinner still sat, long since cooled. I sat down quietly, taking the food slowly to my mouth, trying to ignore the chopsticks as they pushed into my palms. I think I was so caught up in the simple action of getting the food from the plate to my mouth that I didn't even notice Kenshin moving around in the background. Then suddenly, there was a steaming bowl of water in front of me.

"Megumi-dono gave this to us," he said. "It should help."

I let my hands seep and instantly felt relief from the pain. I looked into the water, slowly making ripples with my fingers. It was just a bad memory, I thought to myself. I just needed to get my confidence back.

I looked up at caught the unhappy violet eyes staring at me. My head sank down again. Yes, I was definitely making things worse between us. But how… how could I not work this hard? I needed to prove to them that I was worthy of the name Kamiya. I needed to restore my school's honor. And I needed to prove to my father that I was worthy of the title of Master.

* * *

Kenshin watched her head sink down towards the bowl, watching her fingers in the water. Inside, his frown deepened further. He knew what she was doing, this sacrificial move to try to get stronger because he had done it himself.

He remembered the way his hands had bled when he first tried to learn how to use the sword. Hiko had chastised him for causing that much damage in one session. But Kenshin had kept pressing on. Because he needed to improve so that he wouldn't be weak anymore.

He knew what she was doing but he didn't understand why. No one thought of her as weak. She had proven herself in fights all the time. And even if she wasn't fighting, she was one of their sources of strength. No one he knew would question her bravery or her courage.

And yet… he saw in her eyes again. Doubt. As if she doubted her own worthiness.

She stood up and apologized, taking the bowl with her as she went to her room and leaving him behind to wonder why. What was she trying to prove? And to whom?

It occurred to him that maybe it wasn't someone he knew or more accurately, someone he had never had the chance to know. Kaoru spoke so rarely about her father, only saying he was strict and that he loved his school.

He stood up and walked out the door to the balcony. Was it her father that Kaoru sought so desperately to prove herself to? Was it his shadow that caused the doubt in her eyes? It seemed like a simple answer to their problems. Kaoru was worried about the school, so she was just concentrating on that.

But there was still that doubt in her eyes when she looked at him.

* * *

"Kenshin!" I called out, pacing slowly in the courtyard. I didn't want to waste more time then necessary. It was aggravating enough when the leather gloves Yahiko and I had been using had finally cracked under the stress. It meant that repairs to the roof would have to wait and that the school would not be ready for new students.

Still, considering the odds we were facing at the tournament, it may not have been such an issue. Yahiko said he had seen some of the other schools practicing and they were holding matches between the students to pick the best of the crop.

I had only two choices to begin with. Myself and Yahiko. How were we going to stand a chance against them?

"Gomen, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin said suddenly coming out of the house.

I nodded slowly and turned back to the dojo. " Yahiko! One thousand strikes!"

"Feh, easy," Yahiko said, smiling from his place on the porch.

"To each of the seven targets," I called back, smiling as I saw the smug look from his face fall. "We'll be back before you're done."

Kenshin held the door open while I walked out, fiddling with my hair to try to get it to stay in place. It was still frazzled from the helmet. Even my clothes were crinkled from the armor. I could have taken a moment to change but time was of the essence. The sun was already threatening to set and the stores would close if we didn't hurry.

Kenshin followed my pace, not muttering a word of complaint. In fact, he wasn't saying much of anything at all. And he had been like this for the past couple of days, every since he had to pull me out of the dojo.

Was this going to be it? I had to wonder. Did it finally occur to him that I wasn't ever going to be a real lady, like Tomoe? I could see the looks on people's faces as we passed. The 'there goes that female kenjutsu' look that I get from other woman all the time.

I didn't bother to return the stare today, I just let the people around me meld into a rainbow of pretty kimonos and porcelain. I was just concerned about one thing. Getting those gloves and then getting back to training.

The merchant district was still active when we got there. I wove my way through the people and got to the shop I was looking for. The proprietor knew me and we managed to settle on a fair price. He even wished me good luck at the tournament.

I walked outside and nodded to Kenshin to let him know I was done. It occurred to me that I had never wondered why he wanted to come along. It was broad daylight, there was no danger. It didn't look like he needed anything.

I was about to ask when I felt something soft brush my elbow. Stopping, I turned around and saw the silk kimono hanging from the roof. I knew I should have just kept going on but something rooted me in place. My hand went up and slowly touched the fabric, feeling the rough embroidery and smooth fabric under my fingers as I did.

* * *

The sun had set and Kaoru was exhausted. Practice had gone better today but the bandages on her hands were turning red again from the broken blisters on her hand. She'd have to ask for more medicine, she realized, not relishing the look her father would give her when she did.

His silent face always said volumes. It said she was a fool to keep trying, that she should just give up. And Kaoru was beginning to wonder if maybe he was right. She walked up to his room and paused at the door. She peeked through the crack and looked inside, surprised by the sight inside.

Her father was there, clutching a silk kimono that Kaoru knew was her mother's. The candlelight caught his face and it glistened. Kaoru stepped back. Was he crying? Over her mother's kimono? But, he had never once shown any sorrow over her mother's passing. He used to yell at her all the time. Why… why was he crying?

Kaoru barely remembered the months between when her mother got sick and when she died. But she remembered yelling. Her father was always yelling at his wife, telling her she was weak.

It never occurred to Kaoru until now that her father hadn't hated his wife at all. But he had seen her withering away and done the only thing he knew. Tried to make her stronger. And when she had died, it was like he had failed to make her stronger.

Kaoru knocked on the door, hearing the shuffle inside as her father put things away. There was a few moment pause before the door opened and he looked down at her, his face impassive. He said nothing, but seeing her hands went to retrieve the medicine. Kaoru started to walk away but stopped.

"I'll be strong, Otosan," she said looking over her shoulder. "I'll prove to you that I can be strong."

* * *

"Kaoru-dono?"

I let the kimono fall, quickly feeling the clenching in my heart ease. I blinked a few times, coming back to normal. I looked at Kenshin, forcing a smile.

"I think Yahiko hit me harder in the head than I thought," I said quickly, walking away and staring at my feet.

Otosan… I thought as I moved away. Was the reason you never wanted me to take up the art because of what happened with mom? Were you afraid that somehow I would follow her fate if I tried to follow yours?

I remembered all the times that I had almost fulfilled that thought. In all this time of working to become more like my father, had I just come around full circle and turned into my mother? A woman whose weaknesses eventually overtook her and carried her away from us?

There was Kyoto, when Kenshin had left and I hadn't even wanted to move from my bed. It was just like her, just like my mother, to do something like that. To just give up without a fight. And the only reason I had managed to pull myself together was because of my friends.

I looked over at Kenshin, reading the worry off his face. Something clenched my heart, a sudden feeling of fear that I was doing it again. That I was giving up without a fight. So what if I wasn't like Tomoe? I was Kamiya Kaoru. I fought in battles with Kenshin and the others all the time. I was strong…

But no, I realized. If I was strong, then I wouldn't be walking down the street with this feeling of dread. And I wouldn't be scared about losing the tournament. And I wouldn't be afraid that I wasn't good enough to compete in the tournament… or against Tomoe.

"Gomen," I said suddenly, picking up the pace. "But I need to get these to Yahiko right away." And before I let him answer, I ran off towards the dojo.

* * *

Kenshin watched her run off and could only wonder what had gone in her mind. He had seen an entire range of emotions play through her eyes. He waited until she disappeared down the street and opted for another route. He wasn't going to get the chance to talk to her now anyway.

A few minutes later, he walked in Gensai's clinic. The girls didn't come running up which meant they were probably asleep. Not he would have minded their attention but he needed a few moments of quiet to talk with Gensai.

The elderly doctor read the look on Kenshin's face and led him to the backroom for tea. Gensai waited, deciding not the press the situation along and rather let the confused rurouni begin.

"Gensai-sensai," Kenshin said, slowly putting down the cup. "What was Kaoru-dono's father like?"

Gensai nodded, realizing his assumptions were correct. "Kamiya-san?" He paused. "He was a good man, very strict but… for reasons he thought were correct."

"What do you mean?"

Gensai sighed. "His wife's death effected him greatly. He had always been a strong soldier and was confident that he could protect his family and home against anything. But… there are some things no man can fight against. Still, in the face of tragedy, he needed something to blame. So he blamed her weakness as a woman for her inability to fight against the disease and closed himself to his daughter."

Gensai smiled slightly. "But you know Kaoru… she was stubborn as a child too. And she wasn't willing to accept his solution. So when he said he didn't want her to follow his path, she did it anyway, even though she was so young. She pushed herself with such fervor… it's hard to explain."

"It's not," Kenshin said suddenly. "Because I think she's doing it again."

Gensai nodded. "It's not surprising. She may not show it with true emotions, but the fact that her family's school has fallen out of favor weighs on her heavily. The chance she has been given… it's almost the same as when she found a way to get into her father's life once more."

He paused, holding the cup in his hands. "I thought maybe it would be different this time because there were people around her to help. But it's the same story I have heard so many times before. The smartest man can give correct advice to whatever dilemma someone faces. But only the wisest can actually follow that advice when faced with the same crisis.

"Kaoru is smart but stubborn. And while I know she has been a source of strength to many of you, she won't see the strength within herself now. She may preach the importance of working as a group but she will not use it herself for fear of burdening others. I think you can understand that, Himura-san."

Kenshin nodded slowly. "Thank you, Gensai-sensei. I think I see things much clearer." He stood up slowly.

"I am glad to be a help, especially when it concerns Kaoru." Gensai said. "But Himura-san… there is one thing that you must remember." Kenshin looked at him.

"Kaoru is strong," Gensai emphasized, "but… the path of kenjutsu she chose takes her away from other women and leaves her outside the normal course of life that they get to lead." He paused. "The further she pushes herself into her art, the further she will believe she is moving away from that normality. And no matter how much she acts like it doesn't matter, I have known her long enough to know it does. This tournament is a turning point for her. To win means to restore honor to her school and her family, but it may, in her eyes, be the final step completely away from that chance at life. That belief may be the one thing that holds her back. And while her actions of late may make you inclined to tell her to stop pushing herself, I think this is the exact opposite of what she needs. With help from you and the others, Kaoru can win this tournament without hurting herself. She needs to win this tournament to finally put to rest her own fears and doubts."

* * *

The idea came to me the next morning. Yahiko kept seeing the other schools practicing and it was worrying him more than it should. And I could barely keep my mind on things with all the distractions in Tokyo. So I talked to Yahiko and we decided it was a good idea. We'd go to Mt. Fuji for a week and train there. It would let us clear our minds before the final week of the tournament.

I needed to go. I needed to not think of all the things that were plaguing my mind and just concentrate on my swordsmanship. No more memories of the past, no more worries about the future and no more…

I paused looking in the kitchen as Kenshin moved about making breakfast. Okay, part of me knew I was running away from the whole problem but… I couldn't face it anymore. I should just be up front about it, tell him I knew I wasn't ever going to be like other women and that I knew… I knew that…

My finger curled at the doorframe as I tried to find the words but he heard the sound and turned to face me. And there were those violet eyes staring at me and anything I had wanted to say just died on my lips.

"Kaoru-dono?"

"Yahiko and I are going away," I blurted out. He looked a bit shocked. "To train," I said more calmly. "The other schools… I think Yahiko is too concerned about them and I need to get him a way for a while, a week at most."

"That makes sense," he replied. I tried to find the words to say that he needed to stay behind but he beat me to it. "I have something to take care of too. So I was going to be gone this week."

I paused and nodded. Something to take care of? I wanted to ask what it was. Everything in my mind was screaming to ask him what it was. But…

"Then I'll ask Gensai-sensei to watch over the dojo," I said with a smile. I heard the door swing open and Yahiko calling out my name so I left quickly.

Did I really want to know? If it was a mission for the police, he would have just told me. So this was something… personal. Something he wouldn't be up front about. A million things flood through my mind, most of them bad. And then there was a little feeling of dread in me that I really didn't want to know what it was.

The courtyard unfolded in front of me. I looked up at Yahiko with a nod and he smiled in return. Getting away will be good, he seemed to say.

Yes, I thought sadly, we all needed to get away for a while.