Part Two

Pain! Pain, so much of it that it made him roll over the pavement, hugging his knees tight. His mind had stopped singing to him. Now only the pain registered in his befuddled state. But the pain did not come from his limbs, oh no, he was certain of that. His limbs ached, yes, but this was pain! Sobs wrecked his body and all he could do was hug himself tightly and try to chase away the pain in his heart. And then he heard a voice in his head. It wasn't his mind speaking to him again as before. It wasn't the first time, either. But now she was helping him, helping him to drive away the cold, the emptiness, and the dark. Rapt, he listened to the voice that made the waves of pain go away. Yes, go away! Never come back! With the calm, soothing tone echoing in his ears, his muscles relaxed, he loosened his grip on his knees. No more quiet, no more emptiness! Yes, it was she. Now there were images of her, too, sunshine. Blinded, he closed his eyes before the image of sun in his head. Slowly, carefully he dared open them again, as the voice continued to coo to him. Not alone, not alone. Peace, yes. He drifted away in sleep, dreaming of a beautiful voice and of sunshine.

***

Max was pacing the dirty hospital floors, anxious for Logan to wake up. She had berated herself for the last 8 hours since they had brought him to the hospital. She should have known they wouldn't let her escape from Manticore so easily. She should have known something was amiss when they had injected her with an unscheduled substance. She should have... But she hadn't. All she could think of was Logan, how it would feel to be in his arms again, to escape the cold, military confines of her soul and delve in the warmth of his love, the love she had seen in his eyes while he was holding her in the woods around Manticore. His wonderful eyes. Eyes Only. A heavy sigh escaped her parched lips. She had imagined the scene so often, in so many different ways, with many different endings, but each time in her fantasy he had opened his arms to welcome her. Darn it, he had done it in real life, too. He had kissed her with a sweet, passionate kiss to wash away the pain and sorrow in her eyes. She had kissed him, too. A deadly kiss from a genetically engineered, armor plated fighting machine. Now he was fighting for his life. She swore, exhausted from the plight of escaping her childhood nightmare, Manticore, almost killing the one she loved, retrieving the antidote, freeing the tortured anomolies in the Manticore basement, returning to bring the antidote to Logan, blaming herself, worrying and pacing the floor with 10 miles an hour.

"Don't forget the assorted fights, killings and maimings on your way, Soldier," a small cynical voice in her head whispered. You made record time, too. All in one short day's work."

Pressing her lips together to steel herself for what was coming she rushed towards Dr. Carr the moment she saw him.

"He's ok, Max," he assured her. "He is still asleep, though." She couldn't help noticing Carr's tension as he went on. "You were right, the virus is lethal only for him. Otherwise it is dormant and not infectious for anyone else."

"How is it transmitted?"

"Through body fluids. Sweat, saliva etc. You might be able to touch him briefly but I wouldn't recommend it as it is hard to say how much contact would be deadly to him."

"You mean I can be in the same room, I can speak with him from a safe distance, but I can't touch him, is that it?"

"Yes, that about describes the situation." The compassion in his eyes was unmistakable. But after all, she thought icily, he did this all the time, talking to relatives, telling them he couldn't do anything. Her bitter feelings were probably showing, because Sam Carr cleared his voice and continued.

"Look, Max, I haven't forgotten about the transfusion incident last year. I know you care for him. You couldn't have known." He reached out to her and for a moment, just for one moment, Max drew strength from the hand on her shoulder.

Then she regained her composure, becoming the efficient little soldier again, as Logan would put it, she thought bitterly.

"What about the antidote, were you able to analyze it?"

His dejected look was answer enough.

"That was the only existent dose," she muttered. And then, shaking off all the feelings, which were creating havoc with her concentration, she asked, "Isn't he sleeping too much?"

"He should be up in an hour, but you might want to give him a few more minutes though."

"And you are sure it is safe?"

"Yes, you can be together as long as you do not touch him."

Max groused, "That's a tough one, Girl, when all you can think of is holding him." Did Carr even realize the irony in his words? Probably, he had just left with an encouraging pat on her shoulder. As the doctor departed towards the hospital reception area, Max sunk to her haunches, leaning on the corridor wall, debating with herself. As much as she wanted to see Logan, to beg his forgiveness, she couldn't summon the strength to go in, to look into his eyes knowing what their situation was. She had to think. The urge of riding her bike through the night to the Space Needle, alone with her poisonous self became unbearable.

The moment she gathered her strength to get up in spite of the pain in her limbs, she noticed a shadow furtively moving along the empty corridor towards her. Taking a better look in the dim hospital light, Max noticed the shadow belonged to a woman in a doctor's coat. There was nothing wrong with that, except that the woman looked quite battered and was limping, despite her efforts to move with a determined stride. Max decided to stay down and observe the figure that was checking out the names on the doors. The woman had stopped, as if uncertain of her next move and then suddenly she opened a door and entered the room. Logan's room, Max realized with a pang. A split second later, Max barged in and grabbed the woman from behind. In her haste Max dared a hurried look towards the still sleeping Logan, and quickly dragged the befuddled woman out and into Carr's office next door.

Pushing the woman forward, Max closed the door and snapped at her, "What were you doing in Logan's room?"

For a moment the redhead struggled against Max's strong grip. Suddenly she kicked out, but that brought her instantly to the floor on her back with an angry Max glaring at her.

"Nothing," the intruder managed to croak, "I…was just looking for Dr. Carr's office."

"That was not an office, lady, try again!"

The answer was just a whisper. "I...I needed a diversion, needed to get to Sam unnoticed."

Max's grip on the woman loosened a bit at the mention of Sam, but her eyes were still trying to pierce the intruder, trying to determine her true purpose there. "My friend is nobody's diversion, lady!"

Max was trying to decide how much she could shake the woman without her falling apart as Sam came in. Looking at Max and at the woman, he gasped, "Dr. Brandis! Max, it's okay, I know her!"

"So, she is a doctor after all? That's good, 'cause she was messing around in Logan's room, and I was about to whack her really hard."

"Max, he's okay. I just checked on him."

"See? I told you, I just needed a diversion," Natalie spat at her.

In spite of a rather gentle approach as Max would term it, the auburn haired lady seemed quite shaken. And since Sam knew her, she must be okay.

"Natalie?" he started hesitantly taking in her disheveled state and the smudges of dirt and blood on her face. "What happened to you? Are you all right?" He looked concerned at first at her, than at Max.

"Natalie, this is Max, a friend of a friend. Max, meet Natalie, she is a geneticist."

Max realized that he must have left out their full names on purpose.

Natalie made a move to extend her hand, but as the girl stayed put in the far corner of the room, eyeing her with distrust, she gave up on her attempt at being cordial.

"Sam, I appreciate this polite small talk, but I really don't have the time. I need to talk to you. Alone," she added with a sharp look at Max.

But Max was already on her way out, determined to check on Logan before he woke up.

"What a tough one," Max mused closing the door. "Must be twice as old as I am, but still, she put up a good fight. Isn't her fault I'm a genetically engineered warrior machine," she grinned sheepishly to herself and sneaked in to check on Logan.

Carefully she pulled a chair next to his bed to look at him. She hadn't allowed herself many occasions to watch him in his sleep like this. Last time she had been alone with him in the hospital, she had found out for herself that he was more important to her than her own freedom, than anything. She had surprised herself that time. Since her escape from Manticore, she hadn't had the opportunity to really look at him. He seemed a bit haggard and worn out to her, the long hair unkempt, even for his standards, his brow furrowed in his sleep and the blond stubble looking harsher than usual. Careful not to touch his face or any other part of him for that matter, not even through the clothes, she looked at him with longing, yearning to wipe away the troubles mirrored in his face.

Leave it to Renfro and Manticore to strip away all notions of normality and emotion she might have deluded herself with. She was about to lower her cheek to his when she realized the enormity of the consequences. Suddenly she bolted to the window turning her back on Logan. The pain and the longing overwhelming her, Max ran out of Logan's room just as tears had begun to spill down her cheeks, thinking desperately how even those were poison to him.

AN: I just discovered I might be repeating myself. But this is my first story and i'm not going to change it for just that reason. Let me know what you think of it up to now.