Don'tcha just hate how I ruin everything nice and fluffy? Yeah well it's gets on my nerves, but not my conscience! I'm just watching Blackfly. It's odd. I have no idea how the ties in but it does!
Second order of business! The title is crap! I was on a sugar high when I wrote the first, second and part of the third chapter. I need to change the lame title! Problem is I have no imagination, so I need a name. Best title by the next chapter gets something, like a fic, or the chapters in advance or something. I don't know. Just give me a request. I just need help!
Daisuke: ::muttering:: In more way then one...
Lilac: Shut up!
d/c: I don't own anything relating to Digimon or the show itself ect.
Relations
I simply stared after the boy as he slammed the door in my face. Stare. I really couldn't just comprehend what had just happened. Daisuke was supposed to be, well, happy, native, a hot head...
'Like Taichi.' I realized, and the error was apparent. Everyone expected him to be just like Taichi because he looked just like Taichi. They expected him to be like Taichi when he was Daisuke's age. Yet, somehow, he was turning out to be more like me...
The crest of friendship. Does that mean everyone who inherits the damn thing is a suicidal maniac?
Why? Why was the kid so angry? What happened to him? Why was I just assuming he was suicidal? The thought crossed my mind so suddenly I didn't quite notice it. But then I backtracked and thought. Maybe he was just having a bad day...
I quickly excused the thought. He had Taichi's body and my mind. Damn that was a bad combination. No wonder the kid was so messed.
Should I go after him? What if I did? Then I'd talk to him, he'd make sarcastic remarks, I'd kill him and he'd be worse off then he was.
Maybe if I let him sort it out himself he'd be O.K. Maybe he's just going to think it over, and he'll be O.K.
Or maybe he'll go kill himself.
Damn.
Why was life so hard? I'd either screw it up or make it better. Most likely the former. But then, what if Daisuke tried to hurt himself...?
I grabbed my coat and quickly pushed open the door, half stumbling half running as I attempted to put on my coat. I didn't bother to lock the door. Robberies weren't common in this part of town.
I stumbled down the stairs, cursing as I felt fell over my own shoes. Damn apartment! Never the less, I eventually stumbled out of the building, still in one piece.
Then I noticed something. It was so astonishing I stopped just to feel it.
Rain. It was raining. Big, wet drops that indicated a heavy storm. I started giggling. God the irony. It was like a sad, sad movie.
Then cascaded to a laugh. People stared at me, and I kept on laughing. It was probably the tension, the irony and everything else I was feeling mixed into one.
Eventually, I found it less amusing and I regain control of myself, and started thinking. Where would Daisuke go?Home?
I immediately excluded this. Daisuke never seemed to be close with his family, and I wouldn't want to face Jun in that state if I were her brother.
Mall? No, not that either. Daisuke hated the mall. I don't know why. Taichi liked-
Taichi comparisons again. I mentally slapped myself. No matter how much I told myself Daisuke would never be Taichi.
Anyway, where else would Daisuke go? I racked my brain but I couldn't think of anything else, except... Soccer field?
No, only an idiot would do that. It's raining, it's wet, it's cold...
Daisuke would be there. That was it.
I began running towards the field. He had to be there. Where else would he go?
I ran for about 5 minutes, but then my pace began to slow. I wasn't a real endurance guy and I needed energy to fight with Daisuke for I knew he'd put up one. That's the kind of guy Daisuke is.
Wasn't he?
"Yamato!" I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, surprised.
"Da-" no, no it wasn't him. Sora.
"Hey Sora." I said.
"Hey Yamato. How have you been?"
"Fairly good, you?" I asked. She shrugged and put a piece of hair behind her ear.
"It's been O.K. My mother just went off for a conference in Kobe." I nodded.
"I haven't seen you in a while." she said.
"Yeah, I know. Gomen, Sora san, it's just the band," I sighed as she giggled.
"Yeah, it's time consuming being the heartthrob, isn't it?" she
asked. I rolled my eyes.
"You wouldn't believe it." We both smiled lightly. But then her face turned semi serious.
"What I really want to talk to you about is Daisuke." THAT caught me off guard. It most have showed because she smiled again.
"I heard that you're tutoring him in cooking."
"Um, yeah." I said. 'If I can ever find the little bastard...'
"Well, I think it's great you're doing that." she said. "Daisuke really is a great kid, no matter how many façades he puts up." I didn't respond to that. I couldn't say the same.
"He's different form everyone else." she continued. The rain had us both drenched by now, but I didn't really care and she didn't seem to notice either. "He doesn't communicate very well with other people, because he seems to be on a different level then the rest of us. Daisuke may seem cold, but he really does care about everyone. It's just hard for him to show it." Sora gave a small smile and looked up at me.
"He kind of reminds me of you." I blinked. Daisuke and I had nothing in common. He was a loud mouthed, snotty little brat...
who couldn't communicate. O.K., maybe one but that was about it.
"Well, I have to go and water the roses. I'll just leave them outside. Nice talking to you Yamato." She smiled and started running in the direction of the flower shop.
"Bye Sora!" I called after her. I rolled my eyes when she was out of sight. That was stupid. Daisuke and I had barely anything in common. I liked soft music, more poppy stuff, and Daisuke liked...
come to think of it what kind of music did Daisuke like? Oh well, it didn't matter. I liked to watch educational T.V, or something meaningful, while Daisuke would watch...
what would he watch?
After going through everything in my mind I realized something: I didn't know a damn thing about Daisuke. I had classified him, stereotyped him as another Taichi. After that I didn't know anything, except for the fact that he was more likely then not suicidal.
I silently cursed myself. Crest of friendship my ass. I couldn't even see past my own ideals. He was just so, hostile. Dumb reasoning, ne?
Suddenly I realized I had slowed down. I was close to crawling along the sidewalks. This wasn't going to help my search, but...
did I want to find him? There was so much about the child I didn't know. So many realizations. The question wasn't whether he would face me, if was if I could face him.
For the last year, the digidestined had kind of wronged him. They never knew him. Not even Taichi, his idol, could have known him. Not Hikari, Takeru, Ken or anyone could have known him. The real him.
But who was the real him? There were so many levels I had a hard time finding the fakes from the reals.
I shook my head. It didn't matter. All that I had to do now was find him.
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Water. It moved along slowly, the rain making small dents in the ever-flowing mass. Yet, the dent was fixed within a matter of milliseconds and it was like nothing had ever hit it. The water was absorbent. It went along, almost ignoring everything that happened. Yet, beneath the glassy surface god only knew what lay. It's different with each lake.
That's my comparison to humans. Most of them anyway. People just smooth things over, insist it's O.K., and move along their merry lives when really it's not O.K., and they know it. Just so hard...
I blinked back a stinging feeling in my eyes. I couldn't cry. Crying was a weakness. You know the quote 'It takes a strong man to cry'? That's just relating to when he's in public. When you're alone, it's not so hard.
So here I was, Motomiya Daisuke, sitting on a wet, slippery railing that over looked the river, and it was raining. It may have looked like I was aiming to die, but I wasn't. If I accidentally slipped off, that's cool. No biggie. They might recover my body in a few months. God knows my parents wouldn't notice I was gone. The digidestined might. Maybe.
There was only one real question to it: How big of a splash would I make and how long would it take to smooth it over?
'Stupid Yamato.' I cursed. He knew I wasn't good at anything. He should have stopped when he could have. But no, he just had to go and push me over the edge. Now he probably knows I'm depressed. God knows he knows the signs.
But why did I ask him for help in the first place then? So I wouldn't fail? Na. I knew I was going to fail. I was a horrible student, stupid, absolutely useless, not to mention a trouble maker and...
The pain. I felt it well up in my chest again. Hate. Anger. God it hurt.
But I didn't want it to go away. I know you're probably looking at me strangely now, but I don't. It's reassuring somehow. It's like, 'I'm human. I can still feel the pain.'
People think that people like me see the world as a bad place. Not me. I like the rain. I like the sun. I like darkness. I like light. I like the balance of everything and I appreciate it.
What I don't like it total light or total darkness. You argue, you say 'light cannot live without darkness!' ne? Well, you're wrong. In people, this is true but in the actual shadow and sun theory, it isn't.
You can lock someone in a room that is completely black. I know. You have to board up every crack and crease, but you can achieve total darkness.
Light. Yes, there can be total light. Take the sun, for example. If there were absolutely nothing in space, no earth, Venus, or anything like that, the Universe wouldn't have a shadow, for there would be nothing to cast it.
That's why I dislike Hikari. Hard to believe? Yeah, I confessed, I was close to the legal ideal of 'stalking' her. But it was an act. I like to put them up. It's interesting how people think that's you, and never dig deeper.
I didn't like her because she was too pure. It's like she was the sun, without anything else. I hate those kinds of people. They make me sick, no offence.
Except for 0-6 or 7 year olds. It's not healthy for the light to cast shadows that early. Unfortunately, I did.
O.K., back on the other topic. I like to watch the sunrise. I like to hear the birds sing. I just know that these treasures weren't for me. It's kind of like 'The sun's shining, the birds are singing, but not for me.'
Backing away from the pity fest, I now realized that I was soaked to the bone. I didn't mind. I was used to this. I didn't really feel it. My fingers were numb from hanging onto the bars for so long. It would be so easy just to drop…
but then Yamato would think it was his fault. Partly, it would be, but not totally. It really isn't his fault I was miserable from birth, no matter how much I'll try to pin it on him later.
Yamato was about the only one of the digidestined whose head wasn't stuck up in the clouds. I have no idea where the others got their cloudy 'there's nothing bad in the world' attitudes, but Yamato apparently hadn't been effected. Go Yama!
Maybe that's why I pretended I hated the guy so much. He was human.
In truth, I liked Yamato. He was pretty cool- for a teen rock star, as far as they go. He was just too much like, well, me I guess for me to really get close to him.
I begin to notice something. My now numb fingers are slipping. I'm careening towards the edge, slowly. The slipperiness of the rail, adding towards at rain is making me fall. And I don't want to do a damn thing about it.
Slowly, the water becomes clearer, seeing as I'm going to be under it soon. And slowly, ever so slowly, I slip.
And fall.
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Think that was a cliffhanger? I hope so. ;) Anyhow, remember: New title. I'm begging you.