Disclaimer: ...I don't own dbz........or it's charecters......O.O I DO OWN JOE THOUGH! HA I OWN SOMETHING! -=jumps up and down=- I own something in this fic! Wow! -=runs off to brag=-
Author's Note: Hehe ^-^; now I've just gotten involved with writing this cuz I just updated yesterday but here I go again! Thanks for the people who review! Yeah I know this fic is a bit strange and weird but I only write this stuff because I find most yaoi relationship hilarious! I do look at doujinshi as one of the reviewers guessed. Some of it was yaoi and I don't know why but every time I see that sort of thing I crack up. So don't anyone go thinking I'm not straight...I write this because it's funny...not because I like this sort of thing!...^-^; heh anyway hope you all enjoy and please review review review!!!
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Chapter Three: Goku and Future Trunks
Joe was banging his head on the table five minutes before his clients were due to arrive. The secretary had just told him who he was going to be working with and both names were VERY familiar. How could this be happening to him? He didn't know what he ever did to deserve such torture. Had it been that one test he cheated on because he just couldn't fit in the time to study? Or maybe those times he had tried smoking. Or was it that he had gotten drunk once and woke up the next morning next to his cousin. He just didn't understand it all.
He must have passed out from all the head bashing he had given himself because the next thing he knew he was face to face with Goku. Joe blinked several times and saw that in front of him sat Goku with Chibi Trunks in the seat next to him. "Oh great..." moaned Joe as he raised his head.
"I know, it's great to see you again too Dr. Joe." stated Goku with a cheesy grin.
"Sure it is." Joe groaned as he situated himself.
Trunks snorted at Joe's obvious dislike of Goku but kept that to himself. "So Doc, you think you can fix this one?"
Goku eyed Trunks slowly and then turned his gaze to Joe. "Joe...I recently found out that Trunks has...feelings for me. Do you think you can help us out?"
Joe raised his arms up in defeat. "Why not!? Isn't like I have any normal clients!"
Goku and Trunks exchanged weirded out looks and then Goku continued. "Well the thing is yesterday Trunks told me about how he'd seen me m-"
"Masturbating," said Joe.
"That's right, and he said when he saw me it made him h-"
"Horny," Joe cut in.
"Yeah that's it. And then he said that he liked me better then Goten because I have a bigger a-"
"Ass," Joe finished.
Goku blinked in astonishment and nodded. "Wow you sure are a good doctor...you already know my problem! So what do you think I should do?"
"Fuck him!" exclaimed Joe.
"...really?" asked Goku a bit shocked.
"Sure! What not! You're already fucking you son! Why not an eight year old boy! Hey while you're at it you should fuck with your other son too! Do a foursome why don't you?!" rambled Joe.
Trunks and Goku both began to grin widely.
Joe stared at them. They definitely had some evil gleam behind their eyes. "What is it..?" asked Joe.
"Well we were wondering..." began Goku shyly.
"Why don't you fuck with us!" exclaimed Trunks jumping onto the desk and grabbing Joe's shirt collar.
"WHAT!?" Joe exclaimed in terror as he tried to pull out of the young boys grasp.
Goku stood up and pulled Joe's chair back and started undoing his pants. "Oh don't worry doc. We'll be gentle!" assured Goku.
Joe struggled again in the young boy's grasp. "NO! I'M NOT GAY! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU TWO!"
Goku and Trunks stopped for a minute and looked at Joe. "But you're so hot..." they both said dreamily and then continued declothing the doctor.
Joe's eyes filled with fear. "NOOOOOOO!" he screamed.
"Mmmmm Joe..." mumbled Goku from down below.
"Joe..."
"Joe..."
"Joe..."
Everything became dark and all Joe could hear was Goku's voice saying his name. At least it was Goku's voice. Wait no...now its a woman's voice....His secretary!
"Dr. Joe...?" said the secretary shaking him.
Joe's head rose off the desk and he blinked several times to a blond woman standing over him.
"Mary...?" he groaned.
"Yes sir, um your patients have arrived. They are waiting outside," she informed him.
They just got here!? Joe couldn't believe it! Had that all just been some bad dream? "Let them in..." he said reluctantly.
"Yes sir," Mary answered.
A moment later Goku walked in, followed by Trunks...Trunks!? Whoa did he grow up since yesterday! Joe was astonished at how much older Trunks was. "Um hello you two. Please take a seat."
They did as they were told and waited for Joe to continue.
"Well...Goku...it's nice to see you again..." Joe managed to say. "You too Trunks."
Trunks gave the doctor a confused look. "It is? But...I've never been here before..."
Joe blinked and shook his head. "Of course you were here before! Just yesterday you came in with your friend...boyfriend I mean."
"No..." Trunks said slowly thinking this over. "I don't have a real boyfriend yet."
"BUT YOU AND GOTEN CAME IN HERE AND GAVE ME HELL!!! I KNOW IT HAPPENED!" Joe yelled in defense.
Trunks grinned and replied, "You must mean Chibi me! He and Goten are the one's with the relationship. Not me."
After that was said both men turned to Goku as he was letting out a sigh of relief.
"Was something wrong there, Goku?" asked Joe.
Goku cleared his throat and began, "Well Dr. Joe I believe that Trunks doesn't appreciate me as much as his other...bitches..."
Joe's face twisted up. Oh these people are just sick...
"That's not true Goku! I told you! You're my favorite!" assured Trunks.
Goku's lip trembled. "No I'm not...or you would have been with me more this month."
Trunks blinked and answered, "I couldn't. Either I already had a date...or you did."
Goku crossed his arms. "I just want to feel appreciated. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?"
Joe stared at them. It was like watching a rerun of yesterday except the two were older. Joe's mind temporarily remembered the dream and Joe shook with disgust. When he finally returned his attention to his clients he knew he had missed something.
"ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT GAY ENOUGH FOR YOU!?" cried Goku in alarm.
"Sure did...I mean you are married aren't you...?" grumbled Trunks.
"YEAH BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I SLEEP WITH HER!" Goku yelled.
Trunks shrugged. "Now you're just lying to me. Everyone knows you slept with her Goku. I mean, damn, you made two kids with the woman!"
"...well...that was an accident." said Goku, more quietly.
Trunks rose an eyebrow, "Pardon?"
"You see, Gohan and Goten were...mistakes..." Goku answered ashamed.
Trunks opened his mouth to comment when Joe interrupted.
"Are you saying you used to be straight, Goku?" he asked with amazement.
"No..." said Goku looking at the doctor.
"But you're married to a WOMAN are you not?" pointed out Joe.
"Yeah, but she made me do it." answered Goku.
Joe sweatdropped at that remark and decided to move on. "So you're saying you didn't mean to have Gohan and Goten?"
Goku nodded.
Trunks stood up with rage in his eyes. "HOW DARE YOU CALL MY GOHAN A MISTAKE!"
Goku growled and looked up, "Your Gohan?"
"YES MY GOHAN!" he yelled.
Goku got up and grabbed Trunks by the collar. "GOHAN IS MY SON AND MY BITCH SO DON'T TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT!"
Trunks scowled.
"..." Joe was left speechless. He was really unprepared for all this gay relationship stuff. He had been train to deal with those of opposite sexes. This was just a disturbing show that he had the unpleasant luck to be watching. "Can you two please settle down?" Joe asked the two saija-jin's as they dropped into fighting stances.
After a couple of minutes they settled down and looked at Joe. Joe looked back and began, "From what I have gathered from this meeting. It seems that you two both have feelings for Gohan. Am I right?"
They nodded.
"And you also have feelings for each other...correct?"
They nodded.
"And apparently you both have even more acquaintances than each other or Gohan, yes?"
They nodded.
"...well maybe you two should just take a break from one another and see where your other relationships are taking you," he finished folding his hands on his lap.
They blinked.
"I'm done.." Joe pointed out blinking.
Trunks and Goku looked at each other and both became teary eyed. "I CAN'T TAKE A BREAK FROM YOU!" they said in unison. They then embraced in a hug and it took everything in Joe to keep from banging his head on the table again.
"Thanks for the help Joe," said Goku. "But I think we'll just work this one out ourselves."
"Yeah," agreed Trunks. "But thanks anyway."
With that, the two left and Joe stayed there alone for a few minutes staring at the wall. "I don't understand these people...are they trying drive me insane!?"
Joe shook his head in annoyance and decided to just head home for a good nights sleep. He also planned to pry really hard NOT to have another one of these cases again.
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Author's Note: There you go...another freaky chapter. I know my other one's were better but trust me...there is tons more in store with this fanfic. Look forward to Vegeta coming in one of these days. And the end of this thing is going to be a really treat of confusion but it will be so hilarious so everyone hang in there with me okay!
Goku Sockpuppet: Gohan? Can I come out of the box now? I swear I'll stay out of your underwear drawer from now on...-=whimpers=-
Gohan: You're not in there just because you were in my underwear drawer ya know..-=glares over at the box=-
Goku Sockpuppet: Aw come on! I promise I won't try on anymore of your boxers!
Gohan: -=Shakes his head=- That's not why your in there either...
Goku Sockpuppet: Was it the Jello?
Gohan: -=Raises an eyebrow=- What Jello?
Goku Sockpuppet: o.o; Jello?? Who said anything about Jello?? -=Looks around in his box=- Nobody said Jello...
Gohan: -=Takes Goku out of the box and stares at him=- What did you do now?
Goku Sockpuppet: -=Looks at an imaginary watch on his wrist=- Whoa look at the time! I gotta run! Bye! -=Wiggles out of Gohan's hand and hops away=-
Gohan: Grrr WHAT DID YOU DO GOKU! -=runs after him=-
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