A/N: Thank you sooo much for all the reviews *grins* I am eternally grateful.
Chapter Eleven: Disaster Strikes...Again
Do you ever GO AWAY?! Lily found herself thinking as Ginia babbled away, oblivious to Lily's annoyance. She forced a smile at something Ginia said, praying for an escape.
Ironically enough, God answered her prayer in the form of Gilderoy (he WAS God's gift, after all), who sauntered into the living room and threw a roguish wink in her direction. Lily waved weakly back, then called, "Hey, Gilderoy, this is Ginia. Ginia, Gilderoy."
Aww, ain't that sweet? Lily thought as the two eyed each other in unmasked interest. Barbie and Ken are united!
Gilderoy came up, running a hand suavely through his hair, and planted a kiss on Ginia's hand. She giggled shrilly.
With a charming chuckle, Gilderoy proclaimed, "I haven't seen anything so beautiful since I last stumbled across a mirror!"
Ginia giggled again, and Lily resisted the urge to gag.
"I'll just leave you two alone," she muttered, slipping past them.
"I CANNOT believe that girl used to be my best friend," she proclaimed as she joined the Marauders and Crystal where they stood around the punch bowl. "She looks like a younger Joan Rivers. Only more fake."
"Joan Rivers?" James asked.
"You don't want to know," Lily assured him. "And-"
"Li-leee!" Mrs. Evans's voice cut her off. "There are more guests here! Answer the door, please!"
Lily rolled her eyes before calling back dutifully, "Yes, Mum!"
Sirius, who was eyeing one of the napkins and chuckling in amusement, gave her a wink as she passed by him and, with an appreciative wolf whistle, announced, "You're lookin' pretty good for ninety, Lil."
"Oh, shut up," she called over her shoulder before pasting a wide smile on her face and swinging open the door.
A gasp of horror threatened to escape her lips, and she only barely held it back.
There, in all their blonde-and-plastic glory, stood the Material Girls. Material Girl #1 giggled shrilly while #2 twirled a strand of golden hair around her finger.
"Erm..." Lily said intelligently.
"Hi!" Material Girl #1, who was dressed in so much hot pink that it was positively painful to stare directly at her, giggled. "You must be Lily! Happy birth-DAY!"
"Um...do I know you?" Lily asked weakly.
"You mean you don't remember us from Disco Jack's?" Material Girl #2 asked with an insulted gasp.
Unfortunately, Lily thought bitterly to herself.
"Er...yeah," she responded. "I do now. But...why are you here?"
"We're Ginia's friends!" #1 giggled. "Your mum told Ginia she could bring some friends along!"
"Great," Lily said, her smile becoming rather fixed. "Er...come on in."
The Material Girls followed her inside, and Remus's eyes immediately bulged twice their size when he saw them.
Uh oh, Lily thought weakly.
"Omigod!" #1 shrieked.
"Omigod omigod omigod!" #2 added.
"It's HIM!" the two cried in delighted unison.
"Oh dear," Lily murmured as she watched Remus hide behind Crystal. This didn't do him much good, seeing as he was quite a few inches taller than her.
"Somethin' Stupid guy!" #1 screeched, positively running over to Remus. #2 followed suit.
"Who is totally not stupid," added #2, just for good measure.
"Save. Me." Remus pleaded meekly, then broke into a full-out run as the Material Girls began to chase him. He fled into Mr. Evans's study, the two girls speeding after him as fast as you could possibly go in three-inch stick heels.
"Hey, get away from him!" Crystal cried indignantly. "He's not available!"
As amazingly shocking as it was, this had absolutely no affect on the Material Girls whatsoever. The door to Mr. Evans's study slammed shut, and a sickening click announced a fate worse than death for poor Remus.
The door was broken...Mr. Evans had been meaning to get the lock fixed, but he hadn't. So, just Remus's luck, whenever you attempted to use the lock, you were locked in.
"Save meee!" he repeated miserably.
Muttering angrily under her breath, Crystal stomped over to the door and began to bang on it.
"Ohh, Somethin' Stupid guy!" giggled one of the Material Girls. "You're so...dreamy!"
The other one giggled appreciatively.
"Oh no," Lily mumbled.
"Never fear!" Sirius cried gallantly. "I will save you, Moony!"
"Er...Sirius, bud," James said gingerly, "That might not be the best idea."
"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked, waving his arms around wildly with flourish. "I am great! I am spectacular! I'm ALMOST as good as our friend Gildy here!"
Gilderoy stopped studying himself in the mirror above the fireplace long enough to throw Sirius a wink and respond roguishly, "Almost."
"As a matter of fact, I am...whoops."
Sirius's windmill-arms hit the bookshelf and caused it to topple over. Raven, who had been napping at the top of the bookshelf, yowled in shock and went flying through the air like a SuperCat, then landed with a loud SPLASH into the bowl of shockingly orange punch.
The punch splattered all over Ginia, who had the marvelous luck of being the one who'd been walking by at that moment. She let out a shriek of absolute horror.
"Classic Sirius," James muttered to Lily.
"No one can make a better mess," Lily agreed dryly.
"Oh...my...GOD!" Ginia fumed. "Oh...my...GOD!!!!!"
"Care to elaborate?" Sirius asked sweetly.
"Y...YOU!" she roared, sounding less Barbie and more Marilyn Manson with every stammered word. Lily halfway expected her eyes to turn red at any given moment. "HOW DARE YOU!?!?!"
"Erm...whoops?" Sirius said weakly.
"You RUINED my sweater!" she cried, positively shaking with rage. "RUINED it! How COULD you?!"
"Well, it's all quite simple, actually," Sirius responded calmly. "All I did was wave my arms around, which knocked over the bookshelf, which frightened the cat, which-"
"I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, YOU IDIOT!" Ginia shouted, practically in tears. "IT RUINED MY SWEATER!"
"So we've heard," Sirius drawled.
"I'm LEAVING!" Ginia cried. "COME ON, GIRLS!"
However, the only reply she got from her trusty Material Girls was an explosion of giggling.
"Fine," Ginia pouted, turning around and stomping out of the house.
"Oh," Lockhart said stupidly, tearing his eyes reluctantly from his own reflection and studying the room blankly. "Is the party over, then?"
~*~
"What did you need to talk to me about, Mr. Evans?" James asked nervously as Lily's father led him into the kitchen. The last of the guests had cleared out, leaving only Lily and her mother, who were desperately trying to figure out how to free Remus from Mr. Evans's study (and from the Material Girls).
"James," Mr. Evans said with a heavy sigh.
James could only expect the worst.
"What?" he asked nervously.
"I don't want you marrying my daughter."
The seven words hurt James more than any wound could ever affect him. He felt as though he'd just been slapped-or worse, had to listen to Sirius sing his beloved Physical for hours on end.
"W...what?" James stammered.
"I don't want my daughter to be around those friends of yours anymore," Mr. Evans said gruffly. "You're bad enough, son, but those boys...?" He shook his head. "No way am I letting Lily be associated with them."
"But..." James couldn't believe this. Was this even LEGAL?!
"Listen," Mr. Evans said. "Being the kind soul that I am-"
James resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Oh yes, Mr. Evans was incredibly kind...when compared to You-Know-Who, anyway.
"-I have a little proposition for you."
James didn't like the glint in Lily's dad's eye...he had a feeling that this proposition wasn't going to be good.
But he wouldn't give Lily up that easily.
"What is it?" he asked with a groan.
"If you give up your friends, I'll let you marry Lily."
"What?!" James exploded. "Give up my FRIENDS? You mean just...stop talking to them?!"
"Stop talking to them, stop associating with them all together," Mr. Evans said with a nod, as though this was the most normal thing in the world.
"You don't understand!" James exclaimed. "These guys have been my friends for at least the past seven years...Sirius has been my best friend since I was born!"
"Tough," Mr. Evans grunted. "Give up your friends or give up Lily."
"Give UP Lily?!" James asked incredulously. "A minute ago, you just said we couldn't get married!"
"That was a minute ago," Mr. Evans said with a rather evil grin. "So, Potter, what will it be? Your friends...or my daughter?"
A/N 2: The plot thickens. *dun dun DUN*