A/N: Whoo! Here it is, finally. I'm home sick, so I decided I should get this chapter up for you guys...it's the least I can do. Thank you for all the marvelous reviews. They really do brighten my day :)
Disclaimer: 'Leaving On A Jet Plane' belongs to John Denver, I believe.
Chapter Twelve: The Lovers Escape
"What the HELL are you talking about?"
Lily's voice cut through the intense silence like a knife, and as she stomped into the kitchen, her cheeks were flushed in fury.
"Lily Evans, don't you dare speak to your father like that!" Mr. Evans thundered. "I-"
"I can talk to you however the hell I want!" Lily yelled, her eyes flashing dangerously. "You're telling my fiancee that he has to give up his friends in order to be with me!"
"How dare you eavesdrop?"
"How dare you try to control my life!?" Lily retorted passionately. "I'm not a little girl anymore, Dad. Face it!"
"You ARE a little girl, and you're MY little girl!" Mr. Evans shouted. "And as long as you're staying under my roof, you will marry whoever I choose!"
"Well, then, I'm not going to be under this roof much longer!" Lily declared, grabbing James's hand in her own and dragging him out of the kitchen without another word.
"Er, Lil," James asked after he'd followed her up the stairs and into her room, and she'd begun to gather things from her dresser, "Where, exactly, are we going?"
"Anywhere," Lily responded angrily. "As long as it's away from HIM."
"Well, that really narrows it down," James deadpanned.
"Shut up," Lily commanded, tossing all of her things into a duffel bag and slinging it over her shoulder.
"We could go to my house," James suggested.
"Your house?" Lily asked skeptically. "I think I'd get lost at your 'house'. If you want to call it a house...after all, my house is a house and you could fit about twelve of my house into your house!"
"Do you think you could possibly use the word 'house' any more?" James asked dryly.
"That's besides the point," Lily declared. "The point is your house is a MANSION. Your parents are RICH. How the heck am I supposed to know how to behave around them?"
"My house is a HOUSE," James retorted. "My parents are PEOPLE! Just PEOPLE, Lily."
"Yeah, just people," Lily scoffed. "Just really rich, cultured people. But people nonetheless!"
"You are SO annoying," James proclaimed. "You've MET my parents before."
"For about two minutes!"
"They like you!"
"They don't KNOW me!"
"They WILL like you once they get to know you, then," James said crossly. "The point is, that's the only place we have to go. Would you rather stay here?"
Lily shoved her dresser drawer shut with flourish.
"Good point."
~*~
"Jaaaames!"
"Muuuum," James responded with a smile, allowing his mother to throw her arms around him and cover his cheeks with kisses.
Mrs. Potter pulled away after a moment, and then her eyes fell upon Lily.
"Lillyyyyy!" she squealed in absolute delight, engulfing her in a huge hug.
James couldn't resist but send her a 'I told you so' grin. Lily rolled her eyes at him in reply, but a huge smile was dancing across her face. Mrs. Potter pulled away from Lily, then asked, positively beaming, why they'd come crawling out of the fireplace without sending an owl to tell they'd be visiting first.
"Well," James said, a bit awkwardly, "It was a bit of a spur-of-the-moment thing. We just...uh...Lily?"
Lily, however, didn't seem to want to help explain. James doubted she could even hear his voice. Instead, she was staring in awe around the room, which had lots of fancy paintings, expensive sculptures, and a fountain spurting pink water in the middle. Spiral staircases could be found at each corner of the huge room.
Having grown up there, James didn't even give it a thought, but he realized where Lily's sense of absolute awe was coming from.
He could still remember perfectly the first time Sirius had come over and announced, rubbing his hands together deviously, "Look at all the expensive breakable stuff! Oh, the possibilities."
"Oh, never mind the reason," Mrs. Potter said cheerily. "I'm just glad to have my baby boy back! And with his new fiancee, as well! Sirius and the boys told me all about it, and I'm so happy for you two!"
"Thanks," James said, then studied Lily with a laugh. She was still enchanted by the house, and seemingly not aware of anything going on around her.
"So," Mrs. Potter smiled, "When's the wedding going to be?"
"Er..." James muttered, "That's where the problem is. You see, Mr. Evans doesn't exactly want there to BE a wedding."
"Why ever not?" Mrs. Potter asked in confusion.
"Er..." James was starting to worry about his mesmerized fiancee. "I'll tell you later. Right now I'm gonna show Lil around."
"All right, darling," Mrs. Potter pecked her son on the cheek, then left the room humming.
"Lily..." James waved his hand impatiently in front of her face.
"James," she said, sounding a bit dazed, "You never told me you lived in a PALACE."
"That's because I DON'T," James responded. "It's a MANSION."
"It's a palace," Lily repeated firmly, still looking around with a dreamy expression on her face.
"Lil, this is one room," James laughed. "I'm not sure I want to see how you'll react to the rest of the house."
"You mean this isn't the whole house?" Lily asked dumbly.
"No, Lily," James said patiently, "This is not the whole house. This is one of the SMALLER rooms in the house."
"One of the SMALLER rooms?" Lily repeated in shock. "You have to be joking."
James shook his head, then offered his arm gallantly. "Shall I show you more, my lady?"
Lily smiled, slipping her arm through his. "But of course, good sir."
~*~
"How could you do that, Frank?" Mrs. Evans asked angrily as she stomped into her bedroom. Mr. Evans sat on the bed, reading something. As soon as he heard her voice, he immediately jumped up and shoved the book under a pillow.
"Do what?" he asked innocently.
"How could you tell James to choose between Lily and her friends?" Mrs. Evans asked. "You're never like this with Petunia's boyfriends...you're never like this at all!"
"Er...I..."
"What are you hiding under your pillow, Frank?" Mrs. Evans asked in her best don't-mess-with-me tone.
"Uh...nothing, dear."
"Don't you 'nothing dear' me, Frank! What are you reading? The 'How To Torture Your Daughter and Her Boyfriend' manual?"
Mr. Evans looked a bit sheepish, and didn't reply.
"You're JOKING," Mrs. Evans groaned in disbelief, practically running over to the bed and snatching the book out from under it. The cover proclaimed, in huge red letters, '50 Steps For Fathers To Get Rid of Their Daughters' Troublesome Boyfriends'.
"Oh my GOD, Frank."
"There was something wrong with that one!" Mr. Evans protested desperately. "I knew it the second Lily started ranting about him after her fourth year! Maybe he used a love spell on her-that must be it! Our Lily is so sensible, she would NEVER act like that on her own free will-"
"She's in LOVE, Frank," Mrs. Evans said dryly. "Get over it. You don't have to protect her anymore-James is a nice boy."
Groaning again, she flipped open the book to a random page and read aloud.
"Step 25: The Realization Step. Remind the boy firmly that marriage is forever. Try to make it sound as dismal as possible. It helps to throw in the suspicion that you yourself have been unfaithful to your own wife. Secretaries are always good candidates for affairs. Make sure to mention to the boy that they are blonde with perfect figures. Names like Anita and Felicia work nicely."
Breathing heavily, Mrs. Evans looked up in fury at her husband, who was cowering in the corner.
With a forced smile, Mrs. Evans asked through her teeth, "Did you tell..."-she took a step closer- "Lily's boyfriend..." -another step- "That you were having..." -to her satisfaction, her husband looked downright terrified- "AN AFFAIR WITH A SECRETARY NAMED ANITA?!?!?"
Mr. Evans took many steps backwards before informing her meekly, "I actually chose the name Felicia. That one has a nicer ring to it, don't you think? Remember when we considered naming Petunia Felicia? We-"
"Shut UP, Frank," Mrs. Evans ordered, her eyes flashing dangerously. "You wouldn't want to dig this hole any deeper, now, would you?"
"No," Mr. Evans squeaked.
A huge false smile danced across her face. "Good. Now, let's read some more, shall we?"
"No, sweetie, really, that's not necessary-"
"Did I SAY you had permission to TALK, Frank?" Mrs. Evans snapped before flipping a few pages back. She cleared her throat, then read, "'Step 37: The Choosing Process'. Ask the boy to choose between your daughter and something he cares about, such as television or PIZZA."
Mrs. Evans slammed the book so hard that it caused her husband to jump about eight feet into the air.
"Television or PIZZA, Frank! Not his FRIENDS or LILY!"
"He's probably scared of the television, seeing how he reacted to the phone!" Mr. Evans defended himself. "And do wizards even EAT pizza?!"
"Sometimes I wonder why I married you, Frank," Mrs. Evans announced in disgust.
"Because you love me dear," Mr. Evans reminded her weakly. "And marriage is all about forgiveness! Forgive and forget! Find th-"
"Grab a blanket and a pillow," she ordered.
"What?! Why?"
"You're sleeping on the couch," Mrs. Evans announced, shoving a pillow into his arms. "Have fun."
"Dear, you're being ridiculous-"
"Good night, DARLING," Mrs. Evans cut him off. "Now, I have to go get Lily to unlock her door and see if I can talk to her." She looked down at the book in her hands, then tossed it in the direction of her husband, causing him to leap into the air again.
"By the way, SWEETHEART, I suggest you throw this away," she said with a saccharine smile before turning to leave a whimpering Mr. Evans behind her.
~*~
"Lily, Lily, Lily," Petunia muttered bitterly under her breath, ignoring how much she sounded like Jan from the Brady Bunch.
All her parents cared about was her sister, for God's sake! Had Mr. Evans ever tried to harass one of Petunia's boyfriends out of love for his daughter?
"I think NOT," Petunia snapped to herself, stomping towards Lily's room. Oh, she'd give her a piece of her mind! Their parents had gotten into a HUGE argument, all because of her.
My sister is a home wrecker, Petunia thought dramatically.
However, as soon as she stepped into the room, she discovered that the little home wrecking witch wasn't even there. Moaning angrily, Petunia was about to turn and leave when something on Lily's bed caught her eye. It was a messily scribbled note.
Petunia lifted it from the bed and read.
'Mum,
James and I left to the Potters' house. Please don't worry-we should be back soon. We just need to get away from Dad for a bit.
I love you.
-Lil'
"Aww, ain't that sweet?" Petunia snarled. "She left Mumsy a note."
Rolling her eyes, Petunia crumpled it up into a tiny ball and tossed it into Lily's wastebasket. Let her parents worry. Let them worry about their precious Lily.
Right now, PETUNIA had to get some beauty sleep. After all, she was meeting Vernon for breakfast in the morning. She didn't have time to bother with her sister.
~*~
"And here, Mademoiselle, we have the grand ballroom," James announced, waving his arm with flourish.
A gasp escaped Lily's lips, and her brilliant green eyes immediately flew back and forth as if trying to drink up the sight at once. "James," she breathed, "This is amazing..."
James stared up at the ceiling, which was currently a soft, smooth ebony. Shimmering stars that reminded him of diamonds twinkled, occasionally shooting to opposite ends of the ceiling.
"Is it bewitched like the one at Hogwarts?" Lily asked softly.
"Sort of," James said, "But not as complex. It's just like this at night, and during the day it's sunny."
"It's amazing," Lily repeated, staring intently upwards. "Now I really have a reason to marry you, Mr. Potter. I never thought you were THIS rich."
"Gold digger," James accused teasingly, shrugging an arm over her shoulders.
Lily shook her head, then said deviously, "Black widow."
James immediately removed his arm, backing away from her in mock terror.
"Have mercy!" he pleaded. "Stay away from me! Don't suck me in with your siren songs! If you do, I'll be lost forever to your greatness!"
A devilish grin spread across Lily's beautiful face, and she began to sing softly, "All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go."
"Nooo!" James cried teasingly, covering his ears with his hands.
Her voice growing louder, she continued, "I'm standing here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say good bye!"
"I can't resist!" James proclaimed, smiling as he made his way over to her and wrapping his arms around her waist.
Lily planted a kiss on his cheek and slung her arms around his shoulders before continuing, "But the dawn is breaking, it's early morn...the taxi's waiting, he's blowing his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die."
They began to sway slowly back and forth as the two sang in unison (James sounding quite terrible when combined with Lily's perfect soprano), "So kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me, hold me like you'll never let me go...'cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again..."
"Oh babe, I hate to go," Lily finished, kissing his lips lightly before proclaiming lazily, "Sweetie, you really are an awful singer."
James gasped in mock offense. "How could you say that? I learn all your Muggle songs just for little duets like these, and then you insult my talent!"
"Baby, you don't have any talent," Lily reminded him, resting her head on his chest.
"I don't know why I love you so much," James pouted.
"Because I'm wonderful," Lily reminded him.
"If you say so," James smiled, then began to warble horribly again. "So kiss me and smile for me...tell me that you'll wait for me..."
Lily looked up at him, rolled her eyes, and smiled.
"I love you, James," she murmured softly.
He smiled. "I love you too, Lil."
~*~
"I can't believe she'd just LEAVE like that!" Mrs. Evans exclaimed, trying severely hard not to panic. "Without a note or anything!"
"Calm down," Mr. Evans instructed, rubbing her back lightly. "It's okay...breathe in, breathe out, breathe in-"
"If you want to KEEP breathing, Frank, you'll SHUT UP!" Mrs. Evans said dangerously. Immediately Mr. Evans backed away.
"Petunia," Mrs. Evans said sternly, "Are you SURE she didn't tell you anything? Are you sure you didn't see a note?"
"Positive," Petunia responded airily, studying her fingernails with utmost interest.
"They probably went somewhere in the wizarding world," Mrs. Evans said. "Diagon Alley...some place like that."
"Too bad we can't get there," Petunia said tonelessly. "We're not magic, and we don't know any magic people that can get us in. Shucks."
"Must you be so sarcastic, young lady?" Mr. Evans chipped in.
"Shut up, both of you," Mrs. Evans ordered, taking another sip of her coffee and trying to breathe in and out without looking like she was. No way was she going to give Frank the satisfaction of knowing that she was using his advice. "Um...is there really no one? No one at all? I mean-"
A sing-songy voice positively dripping with mischief rang out from the living room and filled all of their ears.
"Ja-ames? Oh Jamesie? Ya here?" the too-familiar tone of Sirius called.
Mrs. Evans looked up from her coffee to meet her husband's eyes, and in unison, looked slowly over in the direction of the living room.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Mrs. Evans asked softly.
Her husband nodded. "Oh yeah, baby."