Well, from request there are going to be more IZ characters in this. It just makes it a lot more fun.…Oh, and if my retarded scanner ever does work I may put up some art for this story that I've drawn during the past month. *watches as people start screaming and running away* ….what? My art isn't that bad! *sigh* Well, enjoy chapter three!

Chapter 3

A Little Visit to the Library….And More!

It was the third day of spring as Zim arose from his human bed. He reached out for his contacts which were set on the nightstand. "Ugh, another pitiful morning on this pitiful planet." He jumped out of his bed and took a look around the room. "At least I'm not in that stupid video game I thought I was in.…" he thought. Zim then turned to the TV. "Computer, make me some breakfast." No answer. "Computer, give your master, ZIM some breakfast!" Still no answer. Zim walked up to the tv and began to switch a few buttons.

"If it's Tuesday, then it's the cooking hour! With your host, Keef and his squirrel assistant, Zim!"

"Hi everybody! Let's make waffles!"

"NOOOO!!!!" Zim screeched. He attempted to switch the turner on the tv, but it seemed to be broken.

"Now, first you get this delightful waffle maker." Keef pulled out a pink waffle machine with the words 'I (heart) Zim!' on top of it. "You put the mix in and wait for a few minutes!" The squirrel pushed the waffle maker into the sink. "And then, when it is YAAARG!!!" The squirrel giggled insanely and then jumped towards the camera. "What the…?! OW MY PUPILS!!! GET OFF MY PUPILS YOU *beep* *beep* RABID SQUIRREL!!!!" The camera shifted widely and then crashed to the ground. Everything went static, but you could still hear what everyone was saying. "Oww..…I thought you liked waffles Zim….." Glad that the show was over, Zim turned to another channel….

"Farmer Bitters, Farmer Bitters!"

"Yes, doomed child?"

"When I was trying to draw with a pencil nothing appeared on the paper. I then noticed that the pencil made a large gash through my hand. The doctors gave me this band-aid to make the boo boo all better!" The camera zoomed in on a small pokemon band-aid that was tapped over the middle of a large gash.

"I remember when I first used a pencil…." Oh no! A flashback!

A child sized bitters was writing learning how to write in kindergarten. She was holding the pencil with the eraser towards the paper writing curvy invisible letters. Suddenly the pencil was zapped into a squeaky pig. The pig growled at the young Ms. Bitters and attacked her. "EEEK! Where are my eyes?!" Everything went black as a little girl screamed for her mommies.

"….And that's why I wear these glasses. You, me, we're just doomed. Doomed…..Doomed……"

"Thank you Farmer Bitters! Now I know to never use a pencil ever again!"

Zim clenched his hands into fists. "Why couldn't that piggy eat her spleenie?! Stupid time object replacement device…." He muttered to no one but himself. "Wait a second….Argh! I'm still in that video game!" He sighed. "It isn't any use. There are no computers this farm. It feels not right!" Zim stood in the middle of the room in silence. For once in his life there were no sounds near him whatsoever. The silence was broken once he heard a familiar scream from outside. Can you guess who it is? Come on, it isn't that hard….

"WheeEEHOOO!!! You made tacos for me again!!! I'm gonna hug you!" a squealy voiced squealed out.

"…..Help?" A girl from outside whimpered.

Well, if you haven't guessed who it is already, I'm sorry to say this but you've either not watched enough IZ or you're a complete moron. Okay, I'm kidding, but you should know who it is by now….

Zim walked out the door to see Gir in his dog suit. He had his arms around a girl's head. "Gir! What are you doing here?!" Gir turned his head to stare at Zim. "Mary Berry made me tacos!" Gir yelled back squealy like.

"How on Irk did you get here?" Zim asked. Gir paused his hugging to rub his chin.

"Uhh…I was havin' a tea party with pig and moose! Pig wanted less sugar in his tea so I went to the living room to put the fluffy stuff from a pillow into the tea! And then-"

"Gir! Get to the part where you got here!" An irked Zim yelled out.

"Okee dokee! You called me from somewhere and you were bein' all screamy so I went to the taco place and ate lotsa tacos and I saw a little piggy in a box and this one person said 'dat dere is an action figure so get your muddy paws off em toys' I thought it looked yummy so I took the toy out of the box and people were bein' all nice to me telling me to go away so I went away all happy with the pig in my tummy and then I saw that big head boy….WHY IS HIS HEAD SO BIIIG….at the playground with that little toy thingie you made for yourself so I ran over there cuz I wanted to play with him and that other girl but She was makin all these faces at me and I pressed some buttons and I saw dizzy stuff and then I met Mary Berry! (That sentence hurt your eyes, yes?)"

"Umm, can you please get off my head. I think my circulation is being cut off…." The young ebony haired girl whimpered weakly. Gir jumped off of Mary's head and latched onto Zim's head.

"Master!!" Gir cried out. Zim cringed and detached Gir's arms from his head, throwing him down to the ground.

"So, you know this little terror?" Mary asked, eyes directed to the ground.

"Yes, yes. This is my robot slave."

Mary stared at Zim in disbelief. "A Robot?" she asked.

"I mean my dog slave." Zim quickly retorted.

"Oh. So that's what it is. That's good because my parents were getting furious at him. He was eating all the food from the refrigerator and ate one of my dad's exotic flowers. Luckily he isn't here right now. He's on a trip to France to search for more exotic plants. Anyway, I must be going, especially because I don't like dogs. If you want to check out some books you can stop by at the library from 10AM to 4PM." And with that, the shy Mary began to walk away. Before she reached the road she turned around and said, "Oh, and my name is Mary." She cutely smiled at Zim and then left.

"Mary! Come back! Gimmie tacos!!!" Gir cried out, running after Mary. Zim rolled his eyes. "Gir! We have no time for your tacos! We must get out of this spooky…spook place!"

Zim and Gir were now back in the shack (Hey, that rhymes!). Gir was eating most of the food supply while Zim was looking for books in the small bookcase.

"Lets see here….Baby Sitting 4 you, The Half Butt Way for House Upgrades, Cannibalism; Is it for You?, The Guide to Harvest Moon, How to Destroy Dib. Ooh, I shall take this one for later….Wait!" Zim took out the 'The Guide to Harvest Moon' manual. With a smirk, he looked over his shoulder and then took the 'How to Destroy Dib' guide as well. He opened up the Harvest Moon Guide. BOOM! The book went poof and left globs of smoke on the floor and on Zim's face. Gir looked up from eating a turnip and glue sandwich. "Heeheehee! You look like a cow! BAA!" Gir yelled out as he stuffed the rest of the sandwich into his gigantic mouth. A beam of light appeared in front of Zim. A familiar figure came into vision wearing a puffy pink dress.

"Zim, you idiot! You're not supposed to use the manual! That's cheating, you know."

"Eh? Then why did you put this book here?" Zim retorted.

"Well, I thought it would be funny for your head to blow up if you opened it, but I guess it only made your face black….Too bad."

"I am NOT going to lose in this game, puny human!" Zim yelled back. The figure shook her head, sighing. She then came into view. Zim's jaw dropped.

"……Tak?!" Tak, wearing her human disguise glared at Zim.

"I know, I know. Don't ask. Some psycho girl named 'Scaree Monkee' strangled me and gave me moneys to be some 'goddess' for this human game. I agreed because I need the moneys anyway. Come to think of it, she hasn't paid me yet…." Zim continued to gawk at Tak. "………BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Zim clutched his squeedily spooch with one hand. A bright light came from Tak's fingertips. She aimed the energy at Zim and then……

"HAHAHAHAHAHA…HA…..ha……..Eh?!" Zim looked downwards to see he was wearing a fluffy pink tutu with matching ballet shoes.

"Gah! Get it off! Get it off!!" Zim leaped gracefully around the room in his new costume. Tak smirked. "Oh? You want it to come off?" With a twiddle of her fingers she zapped Zim once again. This time he was in a bunny suit holding a Halloween bucket. "AHHH! Bunnies!!" He began to hop around the room smacking into random objects. ZAP! Zim was now in a clown costume. "OH MY IRKEN GODS! NOT THE CLOWNS!" Tak smirked. She was not about to move an inch until she got what she wanted.

"Grr….OKAY! I stopped laughing! Do you not see?"

Tak thought hard about this. "Well, I guess I'll just get more revenge on you later." She used her Goddess powers to restore Zim's Irken uniform. With a puff of smoke (and lasers), she was gone.

Gir jumped onto the table and began to twirl around on his toes. "Heehee! Lookit my feet masta! They're pointy!"

"Gir! Stop that nonsense! We must find a valid way to get out of this human game….thing." Gir saluted, smacking his forehead.

"Yes sir!" He fell over and sent a few cups onto the ground with him. "I AM THE SWAN QUEEN!!!!"

"Sure you are, Gir. Sure." Zim kicked the shattered cups to the side of the room. He then picked up Gir by the collar. "Now, to that place where that human female works and stuff!"

"Yay! Stuff!"

People of the village stared at the green boy and the unidentified object he was dragging behind him. Particularly three ladies huddling together at the village square.

"Hey, isn't that green guy the farmer of that pitiful farm?" The golden haired lady asked (eh, I forgot their names. I don't like them).

"I think so," The puffy black hair lady replied. "He looks weird. I wouldn't want my girl to marry him."

"I'd agree, but my daughter ran away from home, so….like, you know." The other black hair lady replied. "I still don't know what I did wrong. I thought I was the perfect mother. I fed her once a week, kicked her when she asked for dessert, locked her into the closet, and I made her taste test ALL of the wine that was made in the orchid. Doesn't gallons and gallons of wine make little girls happy?" The lady began to sob. "I….I can't talk much longer even though I talk all the time and people tell me to go away when I talk for a long time. I hate you girls! I'm going to go home…..wait, no. Not now. I mean now. Wait I'm still talking….I'll just go," The lady ran away sobbing with her face buried into her hands.

"We really should find another place to chat. I'm tired of her stalking me when I'm in the bathroom." Anna grumbled. (Yay! I finally remember one of their names.

"Mmmyep." The other lady replied in a monotone voice, staring at her nails.

Zim kicked the door of the library open. Mary looked up from her writings.

 "Oh, it's you Zim." She set her pen down and weakly smiled at Zim. "Do you need any help on finding a certain book?"

"Actually, yes I do library slave. Do you happen to have any books on how to get out of this stupid game?" Zim ordered.

"What do you mean?" Mary questioned.

"I wish get out of this game and go back to the stinky human world. I have….business…..to tend to." Zim answered.

As Zim and Mary were holding a somewhat average conversation, Gir was up to no good once again. He took out a few picture books for his own amusement. "Curious George! That's the scary monkey's brotha! Woot!" He giggled and flipped the pages of the book. After he was done with his story time he ran to the side of the library where Zim was explaining his 'business'.

"Yes, yes, a manual! Something to help me with this 'farming'! Insolent library slave!"

"Oh, okay. I have some books that'll help you with your work. Come this way." Mary led Zim over to an area of books. Gir jumped onto the desk. "Ooooh…..pens….." He picked up the pen and examined it. A second later it was inside his mouth going down who knows what. Gir then noticed the book resting on top of the desk. He picked it up and began to read it aloud.

"Deep in the moonlight, Maria stood by her window to look up at the stars. 'Someday I will travel along with the stars with the person whom I love most….' She thought. At the same moment a prince looked outside his window from his room. 'Someday I will rule this place, this world.' He thought to himself.

'Someday my wishes shall come true.'"

Gir giggled. "I like this story! Mister piggy prince is like master!" Mary turned around to see Gir holding her novel. "Ack! Don't touch that!!" She dropped her books and ran up to Gir, snatching the book away from him. "I'm not finished writing that, and you can't read it." She scolded. Her face looked as if it were about to overflow with lava. Gir stared up at Mary, tears in his eyes. "Aww….I wanted to see prince master and Maria be smootchie smootchie!!" Maria face turned a shade redder (I didn't know that was possible). She knelt down to lock her book away into a drawer partially to hide her face from her strange visitors. Zim arched one of his eyes.

"Eh, why was your face red? Is this something worm-babies do?" Zim asked as he pointed at Mary's hiding face. Mary kept her face below the desk.

"Oh, it's just that…..I'm allergic to dogs. Can you take your little dog outside?"

"I suppose. My work here is done, library slave monkey." Zim replied. He picked up the books from the ground, including his dancing robot. He saluted to Mary, and then walked out of the library door.

As Zim was walking back to his farm the worker from the supermarket stood up from a little bench next to the library. He brushed back his hair and smiled at Zim.

"Hey, Zim! What's going on?" Jeff asked.

"Not that you would care mustache male, but I am taking these books with me to my farm. I will train myself to be the best human farmer in this puny game."

"……..Oh, uh, cool!" Jeff replied, a bit dazed. He just couldn't handle that much information in his head all at once. "Can I come with you?" Zim stared blankly at Jeff for a moment.

"No." He walked away dragging Gir behind him.

"Bye bye mister girlie boy!" Gir yelled out as he waved both of his arms. Jeff sighed happily. You could almost see a little invisible pink heart by his mouth….Oh, what the heck. A little pink heart appeared by his mouth. "Somebody loves me….." Jeff murmured. He walked away whistling the 'Barney Theme Song'.

In ten minutes Zim and Gir arrived at the farm. Zim set the pile of books on the table and unhooked Gir from his leash. "You have chicken blankets!" Gir yelled out. He hopped onto the bed and poked one of the embroidered chickens in the eye. "Heeheehee! Chicken!" As Gir began to jump on the bed, pretending to squish the chicken, Zim picked up the book on the top of the stack. The title of the book was 'The Hot Springs'. He flipped through the pages quickly. "Yes, this hot springs should prove to be useful, even though it contains water." Zim pondered. He slammed the book shut with one hand, the other hand pointing up in the air.

"To the hot springs!" he yelled.

Gir waved his arms in circles. "Yay! What's hot springs?"

Gir did not get a reply. Before the robot knew it the leash was hooked onto his collar and they were off towards the springs.

Luckily, the hot springs were conveniently located right next to the farm. The springs were enclosed by a wooden fencing. Zim opened the doors to the hot springs. "Whee! Let's go swimming, pig!" Gir took out his rubber piggie from inside his head and threw it into the pond. "Doo dee doo! Here I come!" Gir dove into the springs, still in his dog suit. He began to have a water fight with his piggy. Zim hesitantly walked up to the pond. He dipped his finger in. "AHH! HOT HOT HOT!!!" He quickly pulled his finger out of the pond. Even though he had covered himself in paste in the beginning of the day, there was still a burning sensation in his finger from the heat of the water. He shook his head. "I am going to go into this stink human pond." Zim said to himself. Slowly, he dipped one foot at a time into the pond. He winced at the hotness, yet was determined to get himself into the pond without screaming. "Aww, master. It's fun!" Gir smiled and splashed some water at Zim. "Gah! Gir! Oooooh, you'll pay for this one!" Zim jumped into the pool and began to chase after Gir.

"You were fun today master! Right, piggie?" The piggie blinked twice.

"Yes, I suppose." A panting Zim replied. He sat at the corner of the pool, exhausted from chasing Gir.

"This hot springs isn't that bad, for a human invention, I guess. But it sure is pretty hot."

"Maybe that's why they call it the hot springs, green boy."

"Eh?" Zim turned around to meet eyes with a pretty brunette hair girl. She had two blonde streaks on the front of her hair. She stood next the pool, arms crossed.

"Who are you?" Zim asked, pointing up to the girl.

"Karen, and you won't be seeing me all that much. Why are you wearing your clothes in the hot springs anyway?" Karen asked, arching a brow.

"Well…..uhh……Aren't normal worm babies supposed to wear their clothes in the water?"

"No. Normal humans have something called a 'bathing suit', or they just go in naked." Karen replied, shaking her head in annoyance. Zim's jaw dropped.

"….Naked? As in no clothing to protect you? Madness!"

"Well, actually some people like to wear no clothes, but they just have serious mental problems." Karen replied, with her father, Jeff in mind. She shuddered at the very thought of her father. Zim raised an invisible brow.

"I see…..I know Gir likes to run around naked."

"Oh. That little dog of yours looks stupid, by the way."

"He's not stupid, he's advaaaanced" Zim replied, motioning to Gir.

"I'm a little moosie, short and pig," Gir sang out loud. "Come on, pig! Sing along!" Gir continued to sing to himself. Karen rolled her eyes.

"I knew I shouldn't have come here. Don't bother me from now on." Karen said as she walked away.

"Stupid human! She should have been honored to be in the presence of a more superior species!" Zim yelled out. He scratched his butt and burped. "Ahhhh, that's better. I hate it when space sodas give you gas…." He muttered. "Come now, Gir. I think I've had enough of this 'hot springs' today." Gir jumped out of the pool and landed next to Zim. "Okee dokee!"

"Now, Gir. Don't stay up past 11 pm. I don't want anymore tacos made from the television wires during the night." Zim ordered. Gir's eyes flashed red. "Yes!" Gir then began to laugh insanely as he pulled out wires from the television. "Gir! What did I say about not making tacos out of those wires?"

"That….that they're good 'n zesty?" Gir answered as he nibbled on a wire.

"No, Gir. I think I'm going to have to turn your brain off for the night."

"No, not that master! I think with my brain…..I think……I donno…." Gir whimpered, pointing to his neck. "I still have to give pig that tea party and….bzzzt" Zim switched Gir's brain off. "There, that should shut him up for awhile," he muttered. He walked over to the small table, open a book, and read deep into the night.

Gaz turned off her GS2, put it on her nightstand, and turned off the lights. She fell asleep dreaming about flying vampire piggies. "……Ok. She's asleep." A shadow slithered into her room. The figure, holding a tape recorder punched a few buttons. "Umm….testing? 1…2…3? Does this work? It should work….not like when that one cow tipped over my recorder the last time……oh, ahem. Operation, Destroy alien Zim in progress…" Dib tip toed to Gaz's nightstand. Carefully, he reached for the GS2. As his hand became in contact with the game counsel he quickly grabbed it away, holding it up in the air. "Yesss! Victory for Earth!" Dib yelled out. ZAP! BOOM! SQUIRRELS! The GS2 slowly floated downward, Gaz catching it before it reached the floor. She set the GS2 back onto her nightstand along with Zim's invention. "Heh. I guess this invention is useful for something." Gaz said, smirking. She hopped back into bed, happier than she was previously, for tomorrow there was no annoying Dib drinking the last soda.

…Wow, you survived! Good for you! I hope you enjoy this story as much as I do, if not more. Well, off to more writing. See ya later!