All in the Voice
Confidence
Well, I got complaints that the last chapter was too short-and I agree. I could have made it longer. But it was really just a bridge chapter-fluff. In this chapter, there's a plot! Gasp! Well, not really. Just a lot of conflict. But conflict's good! I chose the title of this chapter cause it's got a double meaning. To confide is to trust, but confidence itself is alike to bravery.
~*~*~*~
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight...
~*~*~*~
It had taken the greater majority of the day, but the riders had finally arrived at the lodge. There were three cabins-one for the five girls, one for Luther, JP, and Moby, and another for Brodi, Eddie, Mac, and Psymon. Surprisingly enough, the most peaceful cabin was the one with Luther in it-and that was indeed a rare occurrence, considering the usual obnoxious attitude of the man.
However, the reason for the women's room being the worst was quite simple.
Simply ask Kaori.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Marisol approached Kaori's room, hovering in the doorway.
"He'd only use you, 'muchacho'." Kaori stood upright at the condescension in Marisol's voice. She turned around slowly, buttoning her pajama top. Marisol walked closer, a look of utter calculation on her face.
"Yeah, you're pretty enough, I'll give you that. But you don't go using good looks to steal someone else's man." Kaori decided she wasn't going to go down without a fight.
"You mean like you did to Chloe?" Seeing the look of indignation on her face, she explained hesitantly. "She really loved JP, and..."
Marisol's glare turned heated.
"Don't you dare go turning the tables on me, little girl. We aren't talking about *JP*. We are talking about *Brodi*. And *I*," She was directly in front of the young woman now, looking down dangerously. It took all of Kaori's willpower not to back down. "I, am NOT going to stand for you hanging off of my man. Got it?"
Kaori swallowed slowly, staring Marisol right in the eye. With more resolve than she had felt possible, she replied:
"Hai."
"Good to hear, Kaori. Good to hear. G'night now!" She slammed the door behind her, leaving Kaori alone.
//I should never have grown so attached to Brodi...I should have realized...//
She cried herself to sleep that night.
~*~*~*~
Brodi found himself unable to sleep that night. He sat in an armchair in front of a fire, sipping his green tea pensively. He put the cup down with a solid whack. He couldn't be reasonable tonight! What could have done this to him?
//I think the question is more along the lines of 'who'// A voice inside his head mocked calmly. //Pedophile.//
He sighed. He wasn't supposed to be in love with Kaori...he was supposed to find some Buddhist girl who he could ponder the meaning of life with, or rather, that's what the magazine 'Snowboarding Hotties' said about him.
But she wasn't just a teenage girl. She was carefree, energetic, but dedicated and loving too.
"Hey Brod, what are YOU doing up? Pondering the meaning of life?" Eddie said, and Brodi couldn't help but smile. In nothing but smiley-face boxers and a loose blue robe, he was quite the sight. Especially with his messy afro struggling to stay aloft. For a moment it reminded him of a feuding nest of seagulls.
"Something like that." Eddie got a sly grin on his face, and Brodi tried not to wince. He knew what was coming.
"I don't think it's WHAT you're thinking bout that's the problem. Got Marisol on the brain?" Brodi opened his mouth to protest, but then a look of mock graveness spread over the young man's face.
"You aren't thinking about someone ELSE...are you?" Brodi bit his lip and looked away.
"Whoa, chill out Buddha-man, I was only kidding around...What's the matter Brodi. You can trust me." Eddie placed a calming hand on the older man's shoulder, and suddenly, Brodi found himself spilling every feeling, every joy he felt whenever they touched, the strange way he found himself drawn...nothing went unsaid. He couldn't deny his feelings. Not when they felt this strong.
"You probably think I'm some sort of pedophile now, don't you." Brodi said a few moments after. Eddie shook his head.
"No way man. One thing I've learned over the years is that love is love. Kaori's old enough to make her own decisions, and you two were close friends first. It's really not that surprising, when you think about it." Eddie said carefully, looking into the fire. "Still, I think you should be careful about it. I won't tell a soul, but I wouldn't put it past Mar-Shit, what about her!?"
"That's the worst thing. I know she doesn't love me, and I know I don't love her but..."
"That's one thing I don't think I can help you with. Sorry man." He offered a smile-a small one, but a true, genuine smile.
//Why didn't I come to him before now? I should have had more faith in my friend.//
"It's alright Eddie. Thanks."
"Anytime, Brodi-my-man. Anytime." He got up and stretched. "Well, I think I'll be getting back to bed."
"What time is it?"
"2:38 in the morning." Brodi got up and sighed.
"Alright then. Good morning Eddie."
"Good morning Brodi. Sleep well."
~*~*~*~
Kaori awoke with a start.
She couldn't take any more...everytime she fell asleep, Marisol and Brodi were there to torture her, dig the knife in deeper.
//Is this pain love? Or is this love pain?//
She got out of her bed silently, opening the curtains slightly, allowing the light of the half moon shine through. Everything was so confusing...
She cared about Brodi. She knew this wasn't just a crush-she had many, and none of them came close to the infinite devotion that wanted to leap out of her whenever he came near.
But Brodi...he was such an enigma. At times he was distant, mysterious. But at times, he just resembled the boy next door. And what had happened at the airport? He had called her 'Kaori-chan.' //Probably just a slip of the tongue// She thought, melancholy sweeping over once more.
But what about the time he asked her to lunch, the chemistry they had felt when they had acted together?
Nothing.
It must have been nothing.
A part of her WANTED it to be nothing, to be able to cry it out, and get over him.
But nothing was right without him...she felt shamed, bound and broken, all because of one emotion, one never ending feeling that wouldn't let her be.
She felt utterly torn. Torn between right and wrong, Mac and Brodi, her wants and her needs.
Why wouldn't she let herself let go! What was so compelling to her heart?
He was.
//Illusions never changed into something real...I'm wide-awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn...//
Two tears slipped down her face before she crawled back into bed and stayed there.
~*~*~*~
Mac awoke the next morning with an extra bounce in his step. The beginning of a new day beckoned to him, crying out 'Enjoy me!' to the most secret part of his soul. He gave a quick peek at the clock-9:01. He bounded out of bed, yanked on his baggy pants and sweatshirt, and shoveled some cereal in his mouth.
"Do you always eat so eagerly, or are you in a rush?" A calm voice said to him, and he wheeled around to see Brodi relaxing in an armchair.
"The first one." Mac actually didn't mind Brodi, when it came down to it. He was an okay guy. //But NOT okay enough for Kaori.//
"So what are your plans for the day Mac?" Brodi strolled over to the small kitchen, and poured himself a cup of green tea.
"I dunno, maybe check out the area. A hike sounds cool." Brodi nodded.
"Sounds good." Mac suddenly felt suspicion creeping up.
"What's it to you anyway?" Brodi's face instantly became the serene dignified man Mac had always known, except, not so.
"Can't I take interest in the activities of a friend?" The warmth in his eyes made Mac feel safe. He wasn't a bad guy at all...Mac felt overwhelming guilt all of a sudden. How could he say this guy wasn't good enough for Kaori...
"Sure you can Brodi, I ain't gonna stop you." He smiled.
"You wanna go for lunch later with Eddie and I?" He offered casually, and Mac nodded.
"Sounds cool. Well, I've got to get out. Later!" Mac walked out calmly, but dashed through the resort to a little private nook in the woods. He didn't think about the people's reactions, or even where he was.
He thought about Kaori.
She had the sweetest face he had ever seen, and she was sweet herself. Elegant taste, and money to burn. Her 'yes' was 'no'-her 'no' was a maybe. Her language was so hard to learn...
All Mac knew was that he loved her. Truly, madly, deeply, he did. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her.
As long as she loved him too.
Lost in his thoughts, he wandered on.
~*~*~*~
Kaori woke up slowly, feeling a bit of hope. She looked at the clock-2 in the afternoon!?! Well, she did wake up for that while...She sighed dejectedly, but took a deep breath as she got herself ready.
//Now, maybe you can go hang out with Mac, flirt with him like always, and put this all behind you.//
But the minute she left the cabin, the thoughts were dashed as Brodi sprinted towards her. The look of...
Fear. Brodi was afraid!?
"Brodi-kun, what happened!?" Brodi took in a deep breath before taking Kaori by the shoulders and looking her straight in the eye. Kaori's heart was pounding like a metronome against her rib cage, but she was too pre-occupied to think about that. She looked at the crowd standing behind him. Eddie, Elise, Marisol...she frowned at her before moving her gaze onward. JP, Moby, Psymon, Seeiah, Zoe, Luther...
No...Please no...
"Mac was supposed to meet us for lunch an hour ago...We've sent out a search party...Kaori, wait!"
But it was too late. She had already dashed away.
She didn't see the pained expression on Brodi's face, or the tear that slipped down after.
Her friend was in danger.
And she was going to help him.
No matter what.
~*~*~*~
Confidence
Well, I got complaints that the last chapter was too short-and I agree. I could have made it longer. But it was really just a bridge chapter-fluff. In this chapter, there's a plot! Gasp! Well, not really. Just a lot of conflict. But conflict's good! I chose the title of this chapter cause it's got a double meaning. To confide is to trust, but confidence itself is alike to bravery.
~*~*~*~
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight...
~*~*~*~
It had taken the greater majority of the day, but the riders had finally arrived at the lodge. There were three cabins-one for the five girls, one for Luther, JP, and Moby, and another for Brodi, Eddie, Mac, and Psymon. Surprisingly enough, the most peaceful cabin was the one with Luther in it-and that was indeed a rare occurrence, considering the usual obnoxious attitude of the man.
However, the reason for the women's room being the worst was quite simple.
Simply ask Kaori.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Marisol approached Kaori's room, hovering in the doorway.
"He'd only use you, 'muchacho'." Kaori stood upright at the condescension in Marisol's voice. She turned around slowly, buttoning her pajama top. Marisol walked closer, a look of utter calculation on her face.
"Yeah, you're pretty enough, I'll give you that. But you don't go using good looks to steal someone else's man." Kaori decided she wasn't going to go down without a fight.
"You mean like you did to Chloe?" Seeing the look of indignation on her face, she explained hesitantly. "She really loved JP, and..."
Marisol's glare turned heated.
"Don't you dare go turning the tables on me, little girl. We aren't talking about *JP*. We are talking about *Brodi*. And *I*," She was directly in front of the young woman now, looking down dangerously. It took all of Kaori's willpower not to back down. "I, am NOT going to stand for you hanging off of my man. Got it?"
Kaori swallowed slowly, staring Marisol right in the eye. With more resolve than she had felt possible, she replied:
"Hai."
"Good to hear, Kaori. Good to hear. G'night now!" She slammed the door behind her, leaving Kaori alone.
//I should never have grown so attached to Brodi...I should have realized...//
She cried herself to sleep that night.
~*~*~*~
Brodi found himself unable to sleep that night. He sat in an armchair in front of a fire, sipping his green tea pensively. He put the cup down with a solid whack. He couldn't be reasonable tonight! What could have done this to him?
//I think the question is more along the lines of 'who'// A voice inside his head mocked calmly. //Pedophile.//
He sighed. He wasn't supposed to be in love with Kaori...he was supposed to find some Buddhist girl who he could ponder the meaning of life with, or rather, that's what the magazine 'Snowboarding Hotties' said about him.
But she wasn't just a teenage girl. She was carefree, energetic, but dedicated and loving too.
"Hey Brod, what are YOU doing up? Pondering the meaning of life?" Eddie said, and Brodi couldn't help but smile. In nothing but smiley-face boxers and a loose blue robe, he was quite the sight. Especially with his messy afro struggling to stay aloft. For a moment it reminded him of a feuding nest of seagulls.
"Something like that." Eddie got a sly grin on his face, and Brodi tried not to wince. He knew what was coming.
"I don't think it's WHAT you're thinking bout that's the problem. Got Marisol on the brain?" Brodi opened his mouth to protest, but then a look of mock graveness spread over the young man's face.
"You aren't thinking about someone ELSE...are you?" Brodi bit his lip and looked away.
"Whoa, chill out Buddha-man, I was only kidding around...What's the matter Brodi. You can trust me." Eddie placed a calming hand on the older man's shoulder, and suddenly, Brodi found himself spilling every feeling, every joy he felt whenever they touched, the strange way he found himself drawn...nothing went unsaid. He couldn't deny his feelings. Not when they felt this strong.
"You probably think I'm some sort of pedophile now, don't you." Brodi said a few moments after. Eddie shook his head.
"No way man. One thing I've learned over the years is that love is love. Kaori's old enough to make her own decisions, and you two were close friends first. It's really not that surprising, when you think about it." Eddie said carefully, looking into the fire. "Still, I think you should be careful about it. I won't tell a soul, but I wouldn't put it past Mar-Shit, what about her!?"
"That's the worst thing. I know she doesn't love me, and I know I don't love her but..."
"That's one thing I don't think I can help you with. Sorry man." He offered a smile-a small one, but a true, genuine smile.
//Why didn't I come to him before now? I should have had more faith in my friend.//
"It's alright Eddie. Thanks."
"Anytime, Brodi-my-man. Anytime." He got up and stretched. "Well, I think I'll be getting back to bed."
"What time is it?"
"2:38 in the morning." Brodi got up and sighed.
"Alright then. Good morning Eddie."
"Good morning Brodi. Sleep well."
~*~*~*~
Kaori awoke with a start.
She couldn't take any more...everytime she fell asleep, Marisol and Brodi were there to torture her, dig the knife in deeper.
//Is this pain love? Or is this love pain?//
She got out of her bed silently, opening the curtains slightly, allowing the light of the half moon shine through. Everything was so confusing...
She cared about Brodi. She knew this wasn't just a crush-she had many, and none of them came close to the infinite devotion that wanted to leap out of her whenever he came near.
But Brodi...he was such an enigma. At times he was distant, mysterious. But at times, he just resembled the boy next door. And what had happened at the airport? He had called her 'Kaori-chan.' //Probably just a slip of the tongue// She thought, melancholy sweeping over once more.
But what about the time he asked her to lunch, the chemistry they had felt when they had acted together?
Nothing.
It must have been nothing.
A part of her WANTED it to be nothing, to be able to cry it out, and get over him.
But nothing was right without him...she felt shamed, bound and broken, all because of one emotion, one never ending feeling that wouldn't let her be.
She felt utterly torn. Torn between right and wrong, Mac and Brodi, her wants and her needs.
Why wouldn't she let herself let go! What was so compelling to her heart?
He was.
//Illusions never changed into something real...I'm wide-awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn...//
Two tears slipped down her face before she crawled back into bed and stayed there.
~*~*~*~
Mac awoke the next morning with an extra bounce in his step. The beginning of a new day beckoned to him, crying out 'Enjoy me!' to the most secret part of his soul. He gave a quick peek at the clock-9:01. He bounded out of bed, yanked on his baggy pants and sweatshirt, and shoveled some cereal in his mouth.
"Do you always eat so eagerly, or are you in a rush?" A calm voice said to him, and he wheeled around to see Brodi relaxing in an armchair.
"The first one." Mac actually didn't mind Brodi, when it came down to it. He was an okay guy. //But NOT okay enough for Kaori.//
"So what are your plans for the day Mac?" Brodi strolled over to the small kitchen, and poured himself a cup of green tea.
"I dunno, maybe check out the area. A hike sounds cool." Brodi nodded.
"Sounds good." Mac suddenly felt suspicion creeping up.
"What's it to you anyway?" Brodi's face instantly became the serene dignified man Mac had always known, except, not so.
"Can't I take interest in the activities of a friend?" The warmth in his eyes made Mac feel safe. He wasn't a bad guy at all...Mac felt overwhelming guilt all of a sudden. How could he say this guy wasn't good enough for Kaori...
"Sure you can Brodi, I ain't gonna stop you." He smiled.
"You wanna go for lunch later with Eddie and I?" He offered casually, and Mac nodded.
"Sounds cool. Well, I've got to get out. Later!" Mac walked out calmly, but dashed through the resort to a little private nook in the woods. He didn't think about the people's reactions, or even where he was.
He thought about Kaori.
She had the sweetest face he had ever seen, and she was sweet herself. Elegant taste, and money to burn. Her 'yes' was 'no'-her 'no' was a maybe. Her language was so hard to learn...
All Mac knew was that he loved her. Truly, madly, deeply, he did. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her.
As long as she loved him too.
Lost in his thoughts, he wandered on.
~*~*~*~
Kaori woke up slowly, feeling a bit of hope. She looked at the clock-2 in the afternoon!?! Well, she did wake up for that while...She sighed dejectedly, but took a deep breath as she got herself ready.
//Now, maybe you can go hang out with Mac, flirt with him like always, and put this all behind you.//
But the minute she left the cabin, the thoughts were dashed as Brodi sprinted towards her. The look of...
Fear. Brodi was afraid!?
"Brodi-kun, what happened!?" Brodi took in a deep breath before taking Kaori by the shoulders and looking her straight in the eye. Kaori's heart was pounding like a metronome against her rib cage, but she was too pre-occupied to think about that. She looked at the crowd standing behind him. Eddie, Elise, Marisol...she frowned at her before moving her gaze onward. JP, Moby, Psymon, Seeiah, Zoe, Luther...
No...Please no...
"Mac was supposed to meet us for lunch an hour ago...We've sent out a search party...Kaori, wait!"
But it was too late. She had already dashed away.
She didn't see the pained expression on Brodi's face, or the tear that slipped down after.
Her friend was in danger.
And she was going to help him.
No matter what.
~*~*~*~