Title: Memories

Pairings: K+K

Disclaimers: They're not mine. -_-

Notes: Ah, my first Kenshin fic. Please bear with me. *looks around cautiously and then whispers* I've only seen six episodes! o.o;;; Yes, it's true. I'm a new Kenshin fan. Pity me, for I am poor and can't afford the rest of the series. X_X But hey, you can learn a lot in six episodes, right? Right. So, here's a spur of the moment fic that I wrote after getting inspiration from listening to the song "In Memories - Ko To Wa Ri" (I think...) from Kenshin that I downloaded the other day. It's amazing what you can come up with after listening to a new song. Um, the story is kinda sappy. Not the teeth rotting kind, but still sweet enough that it might cause a few people to get a little sick (especially when I get part two done. Be prepared to get drowned in sap!). ^_^;;; So, I hope you enjoy, and don't be TOO hard on me. Like I said, I'm not exactly a huge fanatic, and I'm still new, so please forgive me for any OOCness and such. R/R please! ^_^

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The dead field bore patches of blood, bodies lay scattered everywhere, and one man stood in the midst of it all. Standing silently as the soft red mist of the air passed above and around him. He closed his eyes, sheathing his sword, waiting for relief to wash over him at the end of the long and hard battle he had just endured. But relief never came. The pain in his heart had been numb, but now it was alive again, and it spread like a wildfire all over his body. The pain of knowing what he had done. Not a single survivor except him. He had killed them all. He was a murderer. A murderer. He fell to his knees and looked up at the hard and cold sky. He opened his mouth wide and let out a loud and mournful cry, blood from his wounds coursing down his body, and the single cross shaped scar on his cheek seeming to glow in the dusk. He was dying. Not from the outside, but inside. The pain grew stronger, and stronger, and tears rolled down as his cheeks. And there, in the middle of that bloody field, the Battousai died... And was reborn, his former soul tucked away within himself, and a new soul was created...

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"Kenshin? Kenshin, are you in there?"

Kenshin Himura snapped out of his daze and looked up to see a very concerned looking Kaoru. There he was, sitting on the porch of the dojo, in the middle of a warm spring day. The air smelled of cherry blossoms, not death or decay. The sky was a clear blue, not a dark and hazy gray. There were trees and lots of flowers, not dead grass and weeds.

"Oro? Yes Miss Kaoru?" he said, blinking rapidly as he tried focusing his vision. Kaoru smiled down at him and shook her head.

"Is everything all right? You certainly were out of it a few minutes ago." she said as she sat down next to him on the porch steps. He smiled back at her and then looked at his hands.

"Yes, I was spacing out a little, that I was. But I'm all right Miss Kaoru. No need to worry." he said, knowing he was lying and hating himself for it. He was far from being okay. He was too busy remembering his cold blooded past, and it was all he could think of. Every single day it haunted him. He wished he could just forget and start all over, but his past was apart of him. Just like the Battousai was apart of him. Which is what made him... a murderer.

Kaoru noticed Kenshin's silence again, and she sighed. "Kenshin, tell me what's wrong now, or I won't leave you alone!" she said as she folded her arms across her chest and waited for an answer. Kenshin looked up in surprise, and tried to put on another fake smile, but it didn't work. She was watching him intensely, her dark blue eyes narrowing as he continued to sit in silence.

"Fine, if you won't say anything, then... then..." she fished around for a good enough threat to use on him, but she couldn't come up with anything. Kenshin looked so sad, and it killed her to know that something was wrong, but he wouldn't tell her what it was. She didn't want to seem him like this, ever. He was too sweet of a person to have such a look on his face.

"Miss Kaoru..."

Kaoru perked up, looking back at him expectantly. Kenshin took in a deep breath.

"I... You know about my past..." he began. Kaoru opened her mouth to say something, but Kenshin looked up to stop her. "I've been trying to run away from it, and... I know that maybe I shouldn't pretend that everything is okay, because it's not, and-"

"Kenshin, no! Everything's okay now, really!"

"Miss Kaoru, please..." He reached over and took the girl's hand, trying to find the right words to say. Kaoru blushed, and squeezed his hand for encouragement.

"It's okay, Kenshin... You don't have to worry. You can tell me anything."

"I know that. You're very kind, that you are. But I just don't think that I... I can't keep pretending. I can't keep lying to you, or Yahiko, or Sanosuke... Everyone."

"...What are you saying, Kenshin?"

"I can't stay here. I have blood on my hands, Miss Kaoru, that I do. Blood that will never wash off. I've killed so many, and for what? Justice? Taking innocent lives... that's not justice. If you could have seen what I saw... You would understand. But I never want anyone to see it, or feel what I have felt. No one should ever have to go through that. No one should ever have to feel such pain..." The fiery haired man paused, and closed his eyes.

"I shouldn't have killed all those people. No matter who it was, or how evil they were, everyone deserves a chance to live. ...Except me. I deserve nothing. For I have killed many without cause because I thought that what I was doing was right. Me, the Battousai... I deserve death." He opened his eyes again, and Kaoru looked at him as tears streamed down her face. He turned to her and smiled sadly.

"I love you all too much to stay. I don't want to taint you with my-"

"Kenshin!"

Kenshin gasped in surprise as Kaoru threw herself into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"I won't let you go, Kenshin! This is stupid... everything you're saying... Don't you think you're worth more than that? How can you say such things... After all we've been through together!" she cried.

Kenshin felt tears prick his own eyes and he sighed as he wrapped his arms around the girl he loved and admired so much. He looked up to her because of her kindness and compassion, but most of all, her innocence. He hoped she would never have to shed another human's blood. Him being there though... That was the problem. What if the curse of his past returned and captured her in its grasp? What if he hurt her? What if he... killed her? Like the one he had given his heart to a long time ago... The thought of losing another one he loved because of his own foolishness made his heart twist in agony, and he wrapped his arms tighter around Kaoru.

"Please don't go, Kenshin... You left already once before, and now that I have you back..." the dark haired girl whispered intensely, "I can't live without you. I... I love you, Kenshin. More than life itself. Please, don't leave me..."

Kenshin swallowed hard and let her words run through his mind. She loves me. I knew, that I did... But I didn't think she could love me like that...

"Miss Kaoru..." he whispered softly. Her head shot up and she looked at him almost angrily.

"I hate that... I hate it when you call me 'Miss'. Why... Why can't you just call me by my name?" she asked, more tears starting to fall. Kenshin then truly did smile, and reached up to brush the fresh tears away.

"I'm sorry for displeasing you, Kaoru." he said, and Kaoru looked down at the ground.

"Are you still going to leave?" she whispered, the fear in her voice strong. Kenshin pulled her into his lap and turned her so that she was facing him.

"I do not wish to see you so upset, that I don't. I know that if I had left before you told me how you felt, so many things would have been left unsaid..." he said, and leaned forward to kiss her softly. Immediately Kaoru's cheeks went red, and she tentatively kissed him back. It was a little awkward for her at first, but as the kiss continued, she slowly began to relax, and she placed her arms around his neck.

Kenshin smiled into the kiss, but in his mind he was sighing. I'm sorry Kaoru... I'll miss you most of all... I love you too.

~End Part I~

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R/R please! I'll try really hard and get Part II done... I promise! o.o *looks at all her other multichapter stories gathering dust* X_X