Before I saw him I could sense that he was there. I looked up and saw him and knew why he was there.

He said coffee but I knew the real reason.

He loves me.

But our relationship is so complicated right now.

I wish it were as simple as, "I love you." But it isn't.

For a moment it felt like it use to between us. He was helping me with the door and I was bandaging him up. We were making small talk and avoiding the issue that was all around us.

I know he is pushing me away and I understand why. But he has not told me. I know, but I would rather hear it from him.

He changed the subject with an offer to walk me home. I was disappointed he didn't answer but I could not refuse his offer.

I hoped that it would give us a chance to really talk.

But Zander came. He always comes at the wrong times.

Jason left. I wanted to follow him and talk to him but I let him go. I had to let him go.

I needed to tell Zander the truth.

I'm not sure what Zander is to me. I care about him. I do not want him to get hurt. But I do know that I do not love him and tonight he figured it out.

He realized that he is only second in my heart.

My heart belongs with Jason.