Amazon:
Let me tell the story!
Assassin:
But I'm not finished!
Amazon:
Your stories just a bunch of hooey!
Assassin:
Well maybe I did make that thing up about Tyreal, but don't blame me, blame my pipe. I never can distinguish between reality and fakery!
Amazon:
Whatever. Your story stinks!
Barbarian:
Boo!
Druid:
Hey don't make fun of the Assassin . . .
Assassin:
I can stick up for myself Druid!
Druid:
. . .That's my job.
Interview:
People, people, please. Just calm down. You will each have a chance to tell your story. Assassin continue please.
Amazon:
I think you favor the Assassin over us all!
Interviewer:
What!
Amazon:
You probably like her better because of her skimpy clothes!
Interviewer:
What! I'm a woman!
Sorceress:
Guess she overlooked that fact.
Amazon:
Well yes I did. But you still could be a lesbian!
Druid:
Just let the Assassin finish her story!
Amazon:
Be quiet Druid, we all know your chasin' her skirts!
Druid:
What! Shh. It's a secret. . .
Assassin:
Have I just been insulted?
Barbarian:
I don't get it? The Assassin isn't wearing a skirt!
Amazon:
Like you are one to talk! You just wear a loincloth!
Barbarian:
Hey don't diss the loincloth! They're coming into style where I come from.
Amazon:
At least my clothes are decent!
Assassin:
And mine aren't! I already told you these are . . .
Amazon:
Yeah, yeah. Genuine Assassin clothing! Right. Just shut up, you hussy!
Assassin:
Bitch!
Amazon:
Slut!
Assassin:
I could whip your butt any day!
Amazon:
That's a laugh!
Assassin:
Bring it on!
Barbarian:
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Druid:
Cat fight!
Necromancer:
Bunch of idiots . . .
Sorceress:
I think the Amazon might need to be tranquilized again. She's getting out of hand.
Paladin:
I'll hold her, you get the tranquilizer.
So after the Amazon and the Assassin had a little skirmish and the Amazon was tranquilized with who knows what the Assassin finally continued her story.
The Assassin's story, take three
After I walked a long way . . .
Druid:
Not this again!
I discovered a katar on the ground. I stumbled upon a dying woman . . .
Flashback to dying woman scene.
"Dying woman! Are you OK?" I said quickly running to her side and putting her head upon my lap.
"I'm afraid I am not OK. I think I'm dying." She said simply obviously in pain.
"Oh no! Don't die!" I said feeling as odd sense of compassion for this woman.
"I was one my way to see my daughter . . .," She said. "I'm afraid now, she will never be able to meet her true mother . . ."
"Who is she! I'll tell her for you." I said shaking her praying that she won't die just yet.
"She is a young girl who lives in a village not far from here. She would have been about your age I suppose." The dying woman whispered painfully. I noticed that she was turning green.
~~~
Sorceress:
She had been poisoned?
~~~
Yes.
"A long time ago I was a finest young lady." The woman began. "I made some very bad decisions and out of those bad decisions there came a child. Her."
~~~
Barbarian:
Huh? I don't get it!
Necromancer:
You wouldn't . . .
Paladin:
I'll explain it to you later now please shut up and let the Assassin continue her story.
~~~
"I was so young then and scared so I ran away from the child. Leaving her in that villiage a long time ago . . ."
"I live in that village." I said. "I was left in that village too when I was a baby! The elders said that my mother ran off to become an assassin."
"Then you must take this." She said shoving a katar in my hand.
"Go and find my daughter. And if you don't then keep it." She said and rolled over and die.
~~~
Barbarian:
That's so sad. (Sniff)
~~~
I buried her right then and there. Some reason I had felt a connection with the dying woman. I went to the village and tried to find her daughter, but I never did. So eventually I decided to become an assassin like my mommy did and go out and kill things. That's how I got to the rogue encampment.
Sorceress:
Did it ever occur to you that maybe the dying woman WAS your mother?
Assassin:
Wha?
Paladin:
Yeah. That does seem pretty coincidental.
Assassin:
Your right. She must have been my mother. (Breaks down in tears) And to think I sold her katar along time ago!
Amazon:
What a dumbo!
Druid:
Leave her alone! (Pats assassin on the back. She gives him a kick.)
What was that for!
Assassin:
Never touch a deranged Assassin! (She storms off.)
Druid:
I've dealt with rabid wolves and even grumpy grizzly bears. But I've never had much experience in dealing with woman!
Sorceress:
(To interviewer) They still haven't figured out that they like each other even after all we've been through.
Barbarian:
(sniff) That was a sad story . . .
Assassin:
Don't be sad. I made it up!
Everyone:
What!
Necromancer:
I knew it! The omen's told me not to believe it!
Sorceress:
What are these omens you always see Necromancer!
Necromancer:
You mean you don't see them? After all that training I put you through?
Druid:
You made that story up!
Assassin:
Yep! Cool huh?
Amazon:
No!
Druid:
And to think I trusted you!
Barbarian:
It was still sad!
Assassin:
Yeah, I was even starting to believe it myself!
Now this story I can guarantee I'll continue. Even if nobody reads it. I love it! The Omens! Have you ever laughed at your own story. Well just imagine me pointing at the screen laughing my you-know-what off! The Necromancer's Omens! The Assassin's silly stories! The Dumb Barbarian! The Amazon getting tranquilized! I love it! I am a master. Ok I'm done being crazy. Goodbye. Fields of flowers to you all. Man I need to give that pipe back to the Assassin! This stuff makes you crazy!
Goodbye. So leave. Leave a review. A nice one please. I know no matter who you are I've made some sort of entertaining impression on you.
Let me tell the story!
Assassin:
But I'm not finished!
Amazon:
Your stories just a bunch of hooey!
Assassin:
Well maybe I did make that thing up about Tyreal, but don't blame me, blame my pipe. I never can distinguish between reality and fakery!
Amazon:
Whatever. Your story stinks!
Barbarian:
Boo!
Druid:
Hey don't make fun of the Assassin . . .
Assassin:
I can stick up for myself Druid!
Druid:
. . .That's my job.
Interview:
People, people, please. Just calm down. You will each have a chance to tell your story. Assassin continue please.
Amazon:
I think you favor the Assassin over us all!
Interviewer:
What!
Amazon:
You probably like her better because of her skimpy clothes!
Interviewer:
What! I'm a woman!
Sorceress:
Guess she overlooked that fact.
Amazon:
Well yes I did. But you still could be a lesbian!
Druid:
Just let the Assassin finish her story!
Amazon:
Be quiet Druid, we all know your chasin' her skirts!
Druid:
What! Shh. It's a secret. . .
Assassin:
Have I just been insulted?
Barbarian:
I don't get it? The Assassin isn't wearing a skirt!
Amazon:
Like you are one to talk! You just wear a loincloth!
Barbarian:
Hey don't diss the loincloth! They're coming into style where I come from.
Amazon:
At least my clothes are decent!
Assassin:
And mine aren't! I already told you these are . . .
Amazon:
Yeah, yeah. Genuine Assassin clothing! Right. Just shut up, you hussy!
Assassin:
Bitch!
Amazon:
Slut!
Assassin:
I could whip your butt any day!
Amazon:
That's a laugh!
Assassin:
Bring it on!
Barbarian:
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Druid:
Cat fight!
Necromancer:
Bunch of idiots . . .
Sorceress:
I think the Amazon might need to be tranquilized again. She's getting out of hand.
Paladin:
I'll hold her, you get the tranquilizer.
So after the Amazon and the Assassin had a little skirmish and the Amazon was tranquilized with who knows what the Assassin finally continued her story.
The Assassin's story, take three
After I walked a long way . . .
Druid:
Not this again!
I discovered a katar on the ground. I stumbled upon a dying woman . . .
Flashback to dying woman scene.
"Dying woman! Are you OK?" I said quickly running to her side and putting her head upon my lap.
"I'm afraid I am not OK. I think I'm dying." She said simply obviously in pain.
"Oh no! Don't die!" I said feeling as odd sense of compassion for this woman.
"I was one my way to see my daughter . . .," She said. "I'm afraid now, she will never be able to meet her true mother . . ."
"Who is she! I'll tell her for you." I said shaking her praying that she won't die just yet.
"She is a young girl who lives in a village not far from here. She would have been about your age I suppose." The dying woman whispered painfully. I noticed that she was turning green.
~~~
Sorceress:
She had been poisoned?
~~~
Yes.
"A long time ago I was a finest young lady." The woman began. "I made some very bad decisions and out of those bad decisions there came a child. Her."
~~~
Barbarian:
Huh? I don't get it!
Necromancer:
You wouldn't . . .
Paladin:
I'll explain it to you later now please shut up and let the Assassin continue her story.
~~~
"I was so young then and scared so I ran away from the child. Leaving her in that villiage a long time ago . . ."
"I live in that village." I said. "I was left in that village too when I was a baby! The elders said that my mother ran off to become an assassin."
"Then you must take this." She said shoving a katar in my hand.
"Go and find my daughter. And if you don't then keep it." She said and rolled over and die.
~~~
Barbarian:
That's so sad. (Sniff)
~~~
I buried her right then and there. Some reason I had felt a connection with the dying woman. I went to the village and tried to find her daughter, but I never did. So eventually I decided to become an assassin like my mommy did and go out and kill things. That's how I got to the rogue encampment.
Sorceress:
Did it ever occur to you that maybe the dying woman WAS your mother?
Assassin:
Wha?
Paladin:
Yeah. That does seem pretty coincidental.
Assassin:
Your right. She must have been my mother. (Breaks down in tears) And to think I sold her katar along time ago!
Amazon:
What a dumbo!
Druid:
Leave her alone! (Pats assassin on the back. She gives him a kick.)
What was that for!
Assassin:
Never touch a deranged Assassin! (She storms off.)
Druid:
I've dealt with rabid wolves and even grumpy grizzly bears. But I've never had much experience in dealing with woman!
Sorceress:
(To interviewer) They still haven't figured out that they like each other even after all we've been through.
Barbarian:
(sniff) That was a sad story . . .
Assassin:
Don't be sad. I made it up!
Everyone:
What!
Necromancer:
I knew it! The omen's told me not to believe it!
Sorceress:
What are these omens you always see Necromancer!
Necromancer:
You mean you don't see them? After all that training I put you through?
Druid:
You made that story up!
Assassin:
Yep! Cool huh?
Amazon:
No!
Druid:
And to think I trusted you!
Barbarian:
It was still sad!
Assassin:
Yeah, I was even starting to believe it myself!
Now this story I can guarantee I'll continue. Even if nobody reads it. I love it! The Omens! Have you ever laughed at your own story. Well just imagine me pointing at the screen laughing my you-know-what off! The Necromancer's Omens! The Assassin's silly stories! The Dumb Barbarian! The Amazon getting tranquilized! I love it! I am a master. Ok I'm done being crazy. Goodbye. Fields of flowers to you all. Man I need to give that pipe back to the Assassin! This stuff makes you crazy!
Goodbye. So leave. Leave a review. A nice one please. I know no matter who you are I've made some sort of entertaining impression on you.