This story still lives on! Look out for the omens! And don't smoke pipes and be good or else I'll get the tranquilizer gun. : )
Interviewer:
Since the Amazon arrived after the Assassin and the Druid, we all thought it was sensible for her to go next. The Sorceress got the tranquilizer gun ready, just in case the Amazon got out of hand again.
Amazon:
Just let me tell the story Interviewer!
Druid:
As you can see the Amazon has some sort of conflict against the interviewer.
Amazon:
Shut up Druid! It is my turn to speak!
Druid:
Fine. Go ahead.
Amazon:
It all started when a Rogue came to our little island. She came to ask us for help . . .
She said, "Oh distant Amazon sisters, you must help us remove this oppression that plagues our homeland. Andariel is loose upon the world and we have been driven out of our homes. Many of our sisters have been corrupted . . ."
Amazon:
I always knew our Rogue sisters were weak so as the bigger sister of the Rogues I felt it was my duty to protect them.
Barbarian:
How many sisters do you have?
Amazon:
(Sarcastically)I lost count years ago . . .
Barbarian:
Wow.
Amazon:
So the council gave me leave to go to the encampment even though I was still on probation . . .
Assassin:
You let the council boss you around?
Amazon:
Yeah! Why?
Assassin:
I just thought you were your own boss.
Amazon:
(Angrily) I am my own boss!
Assassin:
At least I don't have a council to boss me around.
Druid:
I thought you had your order to boss you around or something?
Assassin:
Oh yeah.
Barbarian:
What's an order?
Paladin:
The order gives orders . . .
Amazon:
I'm talking people . . .
Necromancer:
So talk!
Amazon:
So I came to my baby sisters camp down here . . .
Sorceress:
I'm not sure they liked being called babies . . .
Amazon:
Well they are weak! Look at our first Rogue mercenary.
Paladin:
You have to admit, she did die a lot.
Amazon:
Talk about babyish! Well anyway I got to the Rogue encampment and met a bunch of weaklings! I was just trudging through the wilderness killing monsters left and right when I finally came to the little rubble pile they called a camp. After beating up this guy named Gheed I finally met the leader of my baby sisters, Kashya. Talk about stuck up! I was her sister and she still didn't trust me! Akara just stood around praying to all the gods and goddesses she could think of and Charsi was so narrowminded she only knew her hammer and Javel.
Barbarian:
Charsi was nice . . .
Amazon:
And the Barbarian has a crush . . .
Paladin:
Akara and Kashya were both respectable Rogues. Why do you disrespect them?
Amazon:
I don't know. Its fun. Sisters do that you know.
Assassin:
Your annoying!
Amazon:
I can beat you up Assassin!
Assassin:
Tell that to my claw!
Amazon:
It can talk to my pointed stick!
Sorceress:
Now stop fighting you two. My magic stick could beat your weapons any day. Just continue your story Amazon.
Amazon:
Whatever. So I met these two people who were smoochin'
Everyone:
WHAT!
Paladin:
Where did that come from?
Necromancer:
The omens didn't see that one coming!
Assassin:
Who was smooching?
Amazon:
You were!
Assassin:
What! Who was I smooching?
Amazon:
The silly Druid! Who else?
Druid:
Good time we had too.
Assassin:
I did not in any way smooch anyone. Especially not the Druid.
Druid:
Don't be ashamed dear . . .
Assassin:
Arg! I would never . . .
Druid:
I guess our little secrets out!
Paladin:
It was never really a secret.
Necromancer:
The omens!
Assassin:
There is no secret. Nothing happened between me and the Druid.
Amazon:
Don't lie again Assassin!
Necromancer:
Admit it. The omens have foreseen it along time ago.
Assassin:
I did not have any type of relations with the Druid.
Amazon:
Yes ya did stupid!
Assassin:
Are you sure?
Amazon:
I saw you!
Assassin:
I must have been smoking too much of my pipe . . .
Necromancer:
Anyway who cares about their stupid relationship problems! The omens are the only important thing!
Sorceress:
You and your omens . . .
Interviewer:
You may continue your story now, Amazon.
Amazon:
I'm done Interviewer!
Interviewer:
Done? But you barely said anything.
Amazon:
All I wanted to say is that Rogues are babies and the Assassin and the Druid were smoochin' each other from the very beginning.
Druid:
Those were the days.
Assassin:
We were not!
Amazon:
Yes you were!
Assassin:
Then how come I don't remember?
Paladin:
Perhaps you didn't want to remember it.
Assassin:
Huh?
Paladin:
Perhaps it was such a bad experience that you forgot it subconsciously and now it is merely a repressed memory.
Druid:
Hey are you insulting my kissing abilities?
Sorceress:
Are you saying she had amnesia?
Paladin:
Something like that.
Sorceress:
Her memory loss could be due to her smoking.
Necromancer:
Wonder what's in that pipe anyway.
Barbarian:
I know! I know!
Necromancer:
You know?
Barbarian:
Once in Kurast I saw her stoop down and pluck some weeds from the ground and stuff them into her pipe and started smoking them!
Necromancer:
Weeds huh? The omens figured so.
Assassin:
Hello? People? Why are you talking about me like I'm not here?
Amazon:
Well what do ya smoke, Hooch?
Assassin:
I'm not telling you.
Necromancer:
She'd probably lie about it anyway.
Interviewer:
So Amazon, are you sure you're done telling your story?
Amazon:
Yes I'm sure! When I say I'm done, I'm done!
Sorceress:
I'm impressed Amazon. We didn't even have to tranquilize you this time.
(Amazon stands proudly.)
Interviewer:
OK. Say, what your guys names anyway?
Sorceress:
I'm Sorcs.
Paladin:
I'm Pala and that's Barb (Points to Barbarian)
Barbarian:
Huh?
Necromancer:
The Omens would tell you to call me, Necro.
Amazon:
My sisters call me Am!
Druid:
I am what I am?
Interviewer:
Then that must mean that the Druid is Dru?
Druid:
What's up?
Interviewer:
Then does that mean the Assassin is . . .
Druid:
Who put the "ass" in Assassin?
Assassin:
That's not my name!
Amazon:
That's just what we call her.
Druid:
Compared to a donkey . . .
Interviewer:
Then what is it?
Assassin:
My name is Assassin.
Druid:
Are you sure? I thought for sure you said it was Dummy. Perhaps we should consult the omens on the true name of the Assassin.
Necromancer:
The omens say that she is known by many names including Assassin, Ass, Dummy and the likes . . .
Assassin:
You guys are so mean! I'm going to go smoke my pipe.
Druid:
Go right ahead . . . Ass.
(Gets a boot to the head.)
Interviewer:
Since the Amazon arrived after the Assassin and the Druid, we all thought it was sensible for her to go next. The Sorceress got the tranquilizer gun ready, just in case the Amazon got out of hand again.
Amazon:
Just let me tell the story Interviewer!
Druid:
As you can see the Amazon has some sort of conflict against the interviewer.
Amazon:
Shut up Druid! It is my turn to speak!
Druid:
Fine. Go ahead.
Amazon:
It all started when a Rogue came to our little island. She came to ask us for help . . .
She said, "Oh distant Amazon sisters, you must help us remove this oppression that plagues our homeland. Andariel is loose upon the world and we have been driven out of our homes. Many of our sisters have been corrupted . . ."
Amazon:
I always knew our Rogue sisters were weak so as the bigger sister of the Rogues I felt it was my duty to protect them.
Barbarian:
How many sisters do you have?
Amazon:
(Sarcastically)I lost count years ago . . .
Barbarian:
Wow.
Amazon:
So the council gave me leave to go to the encampment even though I was still on probation . . .
Assassin:
You let the council boss you around?
Amazon:
Yeah! Why?
Assassin:
I just thought you were your own boss.
Amazon:
(Angrily) I am my own boss!
Assassin:
At least I don't have a council to boss me around.
Druid:
I thought you had your order to boss you around or something?
Assassin:
Oh yeah.
Barbarian:
What's an order?
Paladin:
The order gives orders . . .
Amazon:
I'm talking people . . .
Necromancer:
So talk!
Amazon:
So I came to my baby sisters camp down here . . .
Sorceress:
I'm not sure they liked being called babies . . .
Amazon:
Well they are weak! Look at our first Rogue mercenary.
Paladin:
You have to admit, she did die a lot.
Amazon:
Talk about babyish! Well anyway I got to the Rogue encampment and met a bunch of weaklings! I was just trudging through the wilderness killing monsters left and right when I finally came to the little rubble pile they called a camp. After beating up this guy named Gheed I finally met the leader of my baby sisters, Kashya. Talk about stuck up! I was her sister and she still didn't trust me! Akara just stood around praying to all the gods and goddesses she could think of and Charsi was so narrowminded she only knew her hammer and Javel.
Barbarian:
Charsi was nice . . .
Amazon:
And the Barbarian has a crush . . .
Paladin:
Akara and Kashya were both respectable Rogues. Why do you disrespect them?
Amazon:
I don't know. Its fun. Sisters do that you know.
Assassin:
Your annoying!
Amazon:
I can beat you up Assassin!
Assassin:
Tell that to my claw!
Amazon:
It can talk to my pointed stick!
Sorceress:
Now stop fighting you two. My magic stick could beat your weapons any day. Just continue your story Amazon.
Amazon:
Whatever. So I met these two people who were smoochin'
Everyone:
WHAT!
Paladin:
Where did that come from?
Necromancer:
The omens didn't see that one coming!
Assassin:
Who was smooching?
Amazon:
You were!
Assassin:
What! Who was I smooching?
Amazon:
The silly Druid! Who else?
Druid:
Good time we had too.
Assassin:
I did not in any way smooch anyone. Especially not the Druid.
Druid:
Don't be ashamed dear . . .
Assassin:
Arg! I would never . . .
Druid:
I guess our little secrets out!
Paladin:
It was never really a secret.
Necromancer:
The omens!
Assassin:
There is no secret. Nothing happened between me and the Druid.
Amazon:
Don't lie again Assassin!
Necromancer:
Admit it. The omens have foreseen it along time ago.
Assassin:
I did not have any type of relations with the Druid.
Amazon:
Yes ya did stupid!
Assassin:
Are you sure?
Amazon:
I saw you!
Assassin:
I must have been smoking too much of my pipe . . .
Necromancer:
Anyway who cares about their stupid relationship problems! The omens are the only important thing!
Sorceress:
You and your omens . . .
Interviewer:
You may continue your story now, Amazon.
Amazon:
I'm done Interviewer!
Interviewer:
Done? But you barely said anything.
Amazon:
All I wanted to say is that Rogues are babies and the Assassin and the Druid were smoochin' each other from the very beginning.
Druid:
Those were the days.
Assassin:
We were not!
Amazon:
Yes you were!
Assassin:
Then how come I don't remember?
Paladin:
Perhaps you didn't want to remember it.
Assassin:
Huh?
Paladin:
Perhaps it was such a bad experience that you forgot it subconsciously and now it is merely a repressed memory.
Druid:
Hey are you insulting my kissing abilities?
Sorceress:
Are you saying she had amnesia?
Paladin:
Something like that.
Sorceress:
Her memory loss could be due to her smoking.
Necromancer:
Wonder what's in that pipe anyway.
Barbarian:
I know! I know!
Necromancer:
You know?
Barbarian:
Once in Kurast I saw her stoop down and pluck some weeds from the ground and stuff them into her pipe and started smoking them!
Necromancer:
Weeds huh? The omens figured so.
Assassin:
Hello? People? Why are you talking about me like I'm not here?
Amazon:
Well what do ya smoke, Hooch?
Assassin:
I'm not telling you.
Necromancer:
She'd probably lie about it anyway.
Interviewer:
So Amazon, are you sure you're done telling your story?
Amazon:
Yes I'm sure! When I say I'm done, I'm done!
Sorceress:
I'm impressed Amazon. We didn't even have to tranquilize you this time.
(Amazon stands proudly.)
Interviewer:
OK. Say, what your guys names anyway?
Sorceress:
I'm Sorcs.
Paladin:
I'm Pala and that's Barb (Points to Barbarian)
Barbarian:
Huh?
Necromancer:
The Omens would tell you to call me, Necro.
Amazon:
My sisters call me Am!
Druid:
I am what I am?
Interviewer:
Then that must mean that the Druid is Dru?
Druid:
What's up?
Interviewer:
Then does that mean the Assassin is . . .
Druid:
Who put the "ass" in Assassin?
Assassin:
That's not my name!
Amazon:
That's just what we call her.
Druid:
Compared to a donkey . . .
Interviewer:
Then what is it?
Assassin:
My name is Assassin.
Druid:
Are you sure? I thought for sure you said it was Dummy. Perhaps we should consult the omens on the true name of the Assassin.
Necromancer:
The omens say that she is known by many names including Assassin, Ass, Dummy and the likes . . .
Assassin:
You guys are so mean! I'm going to go smoke my pipe.
Druid:
Go right ahead . . . Ass.
(Gets a boot to the head.)