XVI - AND SO IT GOES
"Well, the bullet matches the casing." Sara's voice made Grissom jump. He swiveled in his chair, sighing, as he put his pen down.
"Good. That's one break, at least."
"I thought you'd be a little happier, all things considered. We're getting close - I can feel it."
Grissom snorted at her. "Since when are you an optimist, Sara?"
Sara started laughing. "You think I'm optimistic? Nick just told me earlier I was a pessimist. Maybe you two should talk to each other!" She sank gracefully into the empty chair across from his desk. She stared at him silently for a minute, weighing her words, before speaking.
"What's going on Grissom?"
Grissom looked at her, his expression blank. "Nothing. What are you talking about?"
"The tension around here between you and Catherine is so thick; you could cut it with a knife. Did you two have a fight?"
"There's nothing wrong between Catherine and I. And no, we didn't have a fight." Grissom sounded annoyed.
"Grissom - how long have I known you? I know when something is wrong, and something is definitely wrong. I'll find out eventually, you know. Why don't you just save yourself the agony of my harassment, and tell me?"
Grissom sighed. "Listen, Sara. I'm sure you have something better to do - "
"Actually, I don't."
Grissom ignored her, continuing, "And this is something I really don't want to discuss with you. Is that okay?"
"No. It's not okay. If you don't want to talk to me, then talk to somebody. I'd say, talk to Catherine - but since it appears she's part of the problem, that's not a good idea." Sara ran a hand through her hair. "A word of advice, Grissom. It's never good to alienate the person you confide in most. Catherine's upset with you." She stood to leave, her expression gentle. "I'm sorry if you're hurting. But maybe, it's not as bad as you think it is. She might just love you back."
Grissom looked at Sara in shock, his jaw dropping open. "How do you know?"
"Symbiotics, Grissom." She smiled at him. "We are so much alike, you and I. We hide behind these great big walls, flirting with each other because it's safe, and it doesn't really matter. It's hard when you realize you're not as immune as you like to think. It took a terrible case for me to open up my eyes, and see that Nick was there, just waiting for me. But I'm glad I did."
Sara sat back down, looking at Grissom intently. "Being happy isn't as hard as you might think. So, if you've recognized that she makes you happy, than I say tell her. She hasn't been happy the last few days, Grissom. Not since this case started - not since you've been upset with her."
Grissom had picked up his pen, and was staring at it intently, clicking the ink in and out. "I'm scared, Sara." It felt good to make that admission. "She's been a good friend for too long. What if she thinks I'm rebounding from you - our flirtation, whatever that was? I don't want to loose the best friend I ever had."
"If she feels the same way about you, and you don't tell her, you're going to loose her anyway, Grissom. We can all see the tension between the two of you. She's shutting herself down. And when she does that, she'll shut you out." Sara looked at her watch. "There's not much we can do here until those prints finish running. There's only ½ hour left on this shift. Why don't you go find her? Take her home - talk this out. I'll page you if anything happens."
Grissom sighed. "I suppose I should talk to her. But you don't really need to stick around either. Tell the guys we can all cut out a little early today. I'll see you tonight."
* * * * *
Catherine had already left when Grissom finally went looking for her. Greg was still in the lab, running fingerprints through the system. Grissom stuck his head in the doorway.
"Greg, you can finish that up tonight. You've still have a lot of prints to run. Go home, clear your head."
Greg looked up at him. "I will. I just want to run this last batch here." He turned back to the computer screen. "If you're looking for Catherine, she left about 10 minutes ago."
"What makes you think I'm looking for Catherine?"
Greg shrugged. "She's mad at you. You're going to want to apologize. Why wouldn't you be looking for her?" He glanced at Grissom over his shoulder, smiling. "And Grissom, I suggest roses."
* * * * *
The insistent ringing of her doorbell finally nudged Catherine out of the strange stupor she had been in since arriving home. Lindsey was with Eddie for the next two weeks, and Catherine was missing her. Her bubbly chatter would have distracted Catherine from thinking about Grissom and her relationship - or lack thereof - with him.
Mumbling to herself, she opened up the door abruptly. "Gil! Grissom! What are you doing here."
"We need to talk, Catherine." His voice was nervous and unsure, and he rocked from foot to foot as he stood there on her doorstep.
Catherine sighed in irritation. "Sure - now you want to talk. After shift. When you've spent the last eight hours specifically not talking to me. Okay." She stepped aside, sweeping her arm towards the living room. "Come on in then."
She followed Grissom into her living room, and plopped down on the sofa, crossing her arms over her chest. She waited. Grissom said nothing. Instead, he walked over to the picture he had been looking at earlier this morning and picked it up.
Finally, after the silence had become almost unbearable, Grissom spoke. "I love this picture. I think it's my favorite one of you and Lindsey. You can see how much you love her." He put the photo back, and wandered over to her CD's, picking up Billy Joel. "Do you mind?" He didn't wait for a response as he slid it into her stereo. Soon, the soft caress of Joel's music filled the small room.
"Gil, if you came here to listen to Billy Joel, just borrow the damn CD and go home. I'm tired, and I really don't feel like trying to figure out the Rubik's Cube of your mind right now. I'm not up to the challenge." Catherine's voice sounded small and defeated. Grissom turned and watched her as she ran a tired hand across her eyes.
~ In every heart there is a room, a sanctuary safe and strong - To heal the wounds from lovers past, until a new one comes along. I spoke to you in cautious tones, you answered me with no pretense. And still I feel I said too much - my silence is my self defense
And every time I've held a rose it seems I only felt the thorns. And so it goes, and so it goes, and so will you soon I suppose. But if my silence made you leave, then that would be my worst mistake So I will share this room with you - And you can have this heart to break
And this is why my eyes are closed. It's just as well for all I've seen. And so it goes, and so it goes, and you're the only one who knows
So I would choose to be with you, that's if the choice were mine to make. But you can make decisions too - And you can have this heart to break
And so it goes, and so it goes - And you're the only one who knows.~
Catherine closed her eyes and leaned her head against the back of the sofa. Grissom still hadn't said anything, he was just standing there, looking at her. The song that was playing finished, and Grissom turned her stereo off.
"I don't need to borrow the CD, Catherine. I just wanted to listen to that song. I like the words. They say a lot."
"What the hell are you talking about Grissom?"
Grissom didn't respond. Instead, he walked towards Catherine and sat beside her, facing her. He reached out, and ran a gentle hand over the bruise on her forehead. "Sara told me to talk to you. She told me I needed to talk to you. Are you shutting me out, Catherine?"
"No. That's your specialty." Her voice was brittle. Grissom winced, and pulled his hand away from her forehead. Catherine was suddenly, achingly aware of its absence. Sighing, she opened her eyes and tilted her head towards him. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."
"No. No, it's alright. I do shut people out. But not you, Catherine. Never you." His voice was soft, almost a whisper. Catherine leaned forward slightly, confused by the look on Grissom's face.
"What's going on, Gil?" her breath was warm on his face. Grissom felt like he was being wrapped in strawberries and heat. He closed his eyes slowly, than opened them and look at her.
"I'm scared, Catherine."
The admission startled Catherine, who blinked in surprise. She leaned closer. His eyes were so blue. "Scared of me?" she whispered.
Grissom reached his hand out again, running it gently around the side of her face. "You make me so - angry sometimes. And you make me so happy. You're my best friend. I shouldn't be thinking like this." His voice was husky, and the feel of his palm against her cheek was magic. Catherine tilted her head into it, arching her neck slightly.
"You're my best friend too, Gil." Her voice was breathless, her face just inches from his. She put a hand on Grissom's chest, and could feel the steady pounding of his heart. She smiled. It matched the rhythm of her own. Her hand drifted up his chest, her fingers sliding into the curls at the nape of his neck. Grissom shuddered as he felt her nails against his scalp. His eyes flashed. "You make me feel, Catherine."
Catherine smiled, broader this time. Grissom watched her lips, fascinated. "Shut-up, Gil. And kiss me."
_____
Author's note: The song is "And So It Goes" - Billy Joel. An absolutely beautiful love song. I hope this chapter was worth the wait! And for those of you asking for more Nick and Sara, it will come. Please R & R!
"Well, the bullet matches the casing." Sara's voice made Grissom jump. He swiveled in his chair, sighing, as he put his pen down.
"Good. That's one break, at least."
"I thought you'd be a little happier, all things considered. We're getting close - I can feel it."
Grissom snorted at her. "Since when are you an optimist, Sara?"
Sara started laughing. "You think I'm optimistic? Nick just told me earlier I was a pessimist. Maybe you two should talk to each other!" She sank gracefully into the empty chair across from his desk. She stared at him silently for a minute, weighing her words, before speaking.
"What's going on Grissom?"
Grissom looked at her, his expression blank. "Nothing. What are you talking about?"
"The tension around here between you and Catherine is so thick; you could cut it with a knife. Did you two have a fight?"
"There's nothing wrong between Catherine and I. And no, we didn't have a fight." Grissom sounded annoyed.
"Grissom - how long have I known you? I know when something is wrong, and something is definitely wrong. I'll find out eventually, you know. Why don't you just save yourself the agony of my harassment, and tell me?"
Grissom sighed. "Listen, Sara. I'm sure you have something better to do - "
"Actually, I don't."
Grissom ignored her, continuing, "And this is something I really don't want to discuss with you. Is that okay?"
"No. It's not okay. If you don't want to talk to me, then talk to somebody. I'd say, talk to Catherine - but since it appears she's part of the problem, that's not a good idea." Sara ran a hand through her hair. "A word of advice, Grissom. It's never good to alienate the person you confide in most. Catherine's upset with you." She stood to leave, her expression gentle. "I'm sorry if you're hurting. But maybe, it's not as bad as you think it is. She might just love you back."
Grissom looked at Sara in shock, his jaw dropping open. "How do you know?"
"Symbiotics, Grissom." She smiled at him. "We are so much alike, you and I. We hide behind these great big walls, flirting with each other because it's safe, and it doesn't really matter. It's hard when you realize you're not as immune as you like to think. It took a terrible case for me to open up my eyes, and see that Nick was there, just waiting for me. But I'm glad I did."
Sara sat back down, looking at Grissom intently. "Being happy isn't as hard as you might think. So, if you've recognized that she makes you happy, than I say tell her. She hasn't been happy the last few days, Grissom. Not since this case started - not since you've been upset with her."
Grissom had picked up his pen, and was staring at it intently, clicking the ink in and out. "I'm scared, Sara." It felt good to make that admission. "She's been a good friend for too long. What if she thinks I'm rebounding from you - our flirtation, whatever that was? I don't want to loose the best friend I ever had."
"If she feels the same way about you, and you don't tell her, you're going to loose her anyway, Grissom. We can all see the tension between the two of you. She's shutting herself down. And when she does that, she'll shut you out." Sara looked at her watch. "There's not much we can do here until those prints finish running. There's only ½ hour left on this shift. Why don't you go find her? Take her home - talk this out. I'll page you if anything happens."
Grissom sighed. "I suppose I should talk to her. But you don't really need to stick around either. Tell the guys we can all cut out a little early today. I'll see you tonight."
* * * * *
Catherine had already left when Grissom finally went looking for her. Greg was still in the lab, running fingerprints through the system. Grissom stuck his head in the doorway.
"Greg, you can finish that up tonight. You've still have a lot of prints to run. Go home, clear your head."
Greg looked up at him. "I will. I just want to run this last batch here." He turned back to the computer screen. "If you're looking for Catherine, she left about 10 minutes ago."
"What makes you think I'm looking for Catherine?"
Greg shrugged. "She's mad at you. You're going to want to apologize. Why wouldn't you be looking for her?" He glanced at Grissom over his shoulder, smiling. "And Grissom, I suggest roses."
* * * * *
The insistent ringing of her doorbell finally nudged Catherine out of the strange stupor she had been in since arriving home. Lindsey was with Eddie for the next two weeks, and Catherine was missing her. Her bubbly chatter would have distracted Catherine from thinking about Grissom and her relationship - or lack thereof - with him.
Mumbling to herself, she opened up the door abruptly. "Gil! Grissom! What are you doing here."
"We need to talk, Catherine." His voice was nervous and unsure, and he rocked from foot to foot as he stood there on her doorstep.
Catherine sighed in irritation. "Sure - now you want to talk. After shift. When you've spent the last eight hours specifically not talking to me. Okay." She stepped aside, sweeping her arm towards the living room. "Come on in then."
She followed Grissom into her living room, and plopped down on the sofa, crossing her arms over her chest. She waited. Grissom said nothing. Instead, he walked over to the picture he had been looking at earlier this morning and picked it up.
Finally, after the silence had become almost unbearable, Grissom spoke. "I love this picture. I think it's my favorite one of you and Lindsey. You can see how much you love her." He put the photo back, and wandered over to her CD's, picking up Billy Joel. "Do you mind?" He didn't wait for a response as he slid it into her stereo. Soon, the soft caress of Joel's music filled the small room.
"Gil, if you came here to listen to Billy Joel, just borrow the damn CD and go home. I'm tired, and I really don't feel like trying to figure out the Rubik's Cube of your mind right now. I'm not up to the challenge." Catherine's voice sounded small and defeated. Grissom turned and watched her as she ran a tired hand across her eyes.
~ In every heart there is a room, a sanctuary safe and strong - To heal the wounds from lovers past, until a new one comes along. I spoke to you in cautious tones, you answered me with no pretense. And still I feel I said too much - my silence is my self defense
And every time I've held a rose it seems I only felt the thorns. And so it goes, and so it goes, and so will you soon I suppose. But if my silence made you leave, then that would be my worst mistake So I will share this room with you - And you can have this heart to break
And this is why my eyes are closed. It's just as well for all I've seen. And so it goes, and so it goes, and you're the only one who knows
So I would choose to be with you, that's if the choice were mine to make. But you can make decisions too - And you can have this heart to break
And so it goes, and so it goes - And you're the only one who knows.~
Catherine closed her eyes and leaned her head against the back of the sofa. Grissom still hadn't said anything, he was just standing there, looking at her. The song that was playing finished, and Grissom turned her stereo off.
"I don't need to borrow the CD, Catherine. I just wanted to listen to that song. I like the words. They say a lot."
"What the hell are you talking about Grissom?"
Grissom didn't respond. Instead, he walked towards Catherine and sat beside her, facing her. He reached out, and ran a gentle hand over the bruise on her forehead. "Sara told me to talk to you. She told me I needed to talk to you. Are you shutting me out, Catherine?"
"No. That's your specialty." Her voice was brittle. Grissom winced, and pulled his hand away from her forehead. Catherine was suddenly, achingly aware of its absence. Sighing, she opened her eyes and tilted her head towards him. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."
"No. No, it's alright. I do shut people out. But not you, Catherine. Never you." His voice was soft, almost a whisper. Catherine leaned forward slightly, confused by the look on Grissom's face.
"What's going on, Gil?" her breath was warm on his face. Grissom felt like he was being wrapped in strawberries and heat. He closed his eyes slowly, than opened them and look at her.
"I'm scared, Catherine."
The admission startled Catherine, who blinked in surprise. She leaned closer. His eyes were so blue. "Scared of me?" she whispered.
Grissom reached his hand out again, running it gently around the side of her face. "You make me so - angry sometimes. And you make me so happy. You're my best friend. I shouldn't be thinking like this." His voice was husky, and the feel of his palm against her cheek was magic. Catherine tilted her head into it, arching her neck slightly.
"You're my best friend too, Gil." Her voice was breathless, her face just inches from his. She put a hand on Grissom's chest, and could feel the steady pounding of his heart. She smiled. It matched the rhythm of her own. Her hand drifted up his chest, her fingers sliding into the curls at the nape of his neck. Grissom shuddered as he felt her nails against his scalp. His eyes flashed. "You make me feel, Catherine."
Catherine smiled, broader this time. Grissom watched her lips, fascinated. "Shut-up, Gil. And kiss me."
_____
Author's note: The song is "And So It Goes" - Billy Joel. An absolutely beautiful love song. I hope this chapter was worth the wait! And for those of you asking for more Nick and Sara, it will come. Please R & R!