My failure.
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic.
By JohnnyReb.
I do not own any of these characters! All rights go to Rumiko Takahashi, Shoten Sunday, Kitty, and anyone else who had a part to the rights.
I stumble along the dirty, dusty road as the hot sun beats down on me, causing patches of sweat to form on my brow. Raising an exhausted arm, I wipe the residue away, gazing casually onward as the road stretches endlessly before me. I don't care where I end up, I've moved beyond caring within the span of these last few days. What does it matter anyways, I couldn't find my way around my house without getting lost, much less the greater Tokyo area. Ironically, I've begun to learn patience regarding my sense of direction. It came quickly once I realized I couldn't beat this condition I possess.
I'm so tired.... so tired of everything...
On my hunched back is my hiking backpack containing my life, everything I owned and needed to survive in the great wilds of Japan. But it was not the weight of my meager possessions that bends my back, it's the knowledge of the defeat I had suffered. I had been beaten again and with that in mind, my sense of pride has vanished entirely. In times past, getting the snot kicked out of me would have only motivated me to try harder, to fight with more determination the next time. But that was then, the past. It was all over now. I'm tired of this life I lead and the defeats that continue to show how pathetic a life it is.
I stop and look up at the high afternoon sky, wiping away the sweat that once again drenches my forehead. I've been traveling for over two days without stopping, a grand feat even for me. I have not eaten, have not slept, have not drank. This is how I chose to punished myself for my defeats.
I had been beaten again.
I continue to walk, to distance myself from the pain.
A group of crows circles over-head, waiting for me to fall and die. Saliva drips from their beaks in anticipation of a good meal. I smile grimly, turning to look back at the road, ignoring the carrion birds and their predatory stares. They would have to be disappointed. I will not die. Though beaten black and Blue, my soul forces me onwards to further bask in my pain and misery. It is another fitting punishment.
I had been beaten again.
It hadn't been a regular fight. Sure, it had started out as normal as all our fights go, but something inside me had snapped, pushing Ranma over the edge as well. For a time, we had both been out to destroy each other. The fight had lasted longer than usual, and it had ended with me lying in a broken heap on the ground.
The fight had been the last. I will not fight again.
Sighing, I gingerly touch my blood-stained side and instantly wished I hadn't. A painful battle memento, a battle I had been so sure I could win. After losing for so long and training so hard, didn't I deserve some small measure of happiness? Apparently the Gods thought not because here I am traveling Japan's most desolate countryside, barely alive, and alone.
I had been beaten for the last time.
Alone... I've always been alone. I'm a lost soul doomed to never find happiness or peace. I can only keep moving, and attempt to avoid being consumed by raw grief, humiliation, and sadness. Even now.... I can still hear his mocking voice in the back of my head.
I bear my fangs, sickened at the pathetic level of self pity I am applying to myself. I'm carrying on like a small child! I clear my mind of pitiful thoughts and try to continue walking, but my pace slows. Lifting my legs becomes nearly impossible.
I'm so exhausted...
My mind gives way due to lack of strength and all the memories of the past three days come rushing back into my thoughts and emotions. I throw myself into this wave, caring little about myself or my impending fate.
I award myself a small, sad smile. I had lost a powerful fight, one I will never forget.....
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When I read a letter from my father telling me that Mom was dying of cancer a week ago, something changed inside of me forever. An emotion other than grief sprung into existence in the blink of an eye. A part of me grieved of course, but another part of me felt a magnitude of anger that surprised me. Strangely, the anger was directed at myself and it took me a few moments to figure out why. I soon came to the conclusion that it was because I had allowed myself to get caught up in Ranma's crazy life and become sidetracked. I had lost too many days striving to defeat a stronger opponent and punish him for every mistake he made and insult he threw.
I had lost track of the most important things in my life. Caving Ranma's head in, I suddenly realized, didn't belong on that list. I'd lost time I could never win back, time I should have spent with my family. It was too late to atone, to bring time back. Along with this realization came tears. They had sprinkled down my cheeks like raindrops.
A determination arose as well, one that demanded conclusion. I could very well just break away from Ranma's crazy life and disappear forever, but that would be too easy. I never left something unfinished if I could help it. My new purpose, one I would use to combat the pain and grief in my heart would be to end the crazy, endless circle of antics with Nerima and force Ranma to find a direction to his life. Akane deserved his complete devotion.
I had been living in an illusion, hoping to one day take Akane from Ranma. Looking back, I see how foolish and infantile that goal was.
It was at that moment, a week ago I set off on my final, determined adventure. I swore at that moment that I wouldn't rest until my efforts bore fruit. The next day, my goal would feel as shattered as my body...
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I had given him no notice that I was going to attack. There was no "Ranna, prepare to die," or "Ranma, apologize to Akane,". No, this time I just attacked, letting my attacks speak for me. There was no motivation this time, only pure determination to accomplish my chosen mission then leave town forever.
"Come on, Ryoga! Give it a rest already!"
He had ducked his head with his usual impressive speed as my large umbrella shattered the wall in the place he been standing by seconds before. The fact that he always knew what I was going to do before I did it enraged the hell out of me. Ranma seemed to have a gift to always bring about the worst in me, especially during a duel. The reoccurring theme in this final fight was that, like every fight we've had in the past, I was determined to beat him once and for all. With all my anger and guilt fueling my attacks, how could I not have won? Surely, I had thought, the God's would grant me one final victory.
The way he effortlessly dodged my attacks really ticked me off. "Ranma.... I'm so sick of this never ending demented roller coaster you've created for yourself! You've had two years with Akane and still you do nothing but shun her and her feelings! You've been given more than most people ever dream of but you only wasted your time flirting and running like a coward from your female fiancée' cheering squad. Your chances are over! I'm putting a stop to all this today. Regardless of what you do, something will change today!"
Ranma threw a right hook, and caught me square in the jaw. My head snapped to the side but I felt no pain, only a stronger sense of anger. It rose inside of me like a clawed demon. When I turned my head back to face him, Ranma was standing on the other side of the road, awaiting my advance. He was very nimble, and this skill had saved his life on more than one occasion.
"You think I asked for this life, Ryoga? I never asked to be engaged, or to be cursed, or to have crazy jerks like you running around trying to kill me! Half of the problems in my life are because of you, pig-boy!"
My eyes narrowed dangerously. The insult no longer made me cringed but I hadn't noticed it at the time. I had grown so tiRed of this endless charade that my petty anger at being insulted had finally died out. The knowledge of the impending death of a parent tended to make most everything else a moot issue.
"Ranma, what are you doing?! Stop fighting this instant!"
I turned my head to see Akane standing there, clutching her school bag to her chest in startled fear. Gods, she was so beautiful! The wind was blowing through her hair that day, stroking it with invisible fingers. She looked so mystical and enchanting. I felt that reoccurring feeling, the one where I longed to stroke her cheek and bring her lips to my own.
"Ryoga, why is he always calling you a pig? Is it some kind of inside joke?" She had cocked her head to the side, giving me her full attention.
Beautiful or not, Akane lacked common sense when it came to certain things. That was a fact even I couldn't deny. Had she not seen me change a few hundred times from a man to a pig? Couldn't she tell that the bandanna around my head was also around her pet P-chan's neck? Couldn't she tell that P-chan was never around when I was?
I hesitated for a minute, licking my lips and trying to form a decent response.
"Yeahhh, Ryoga! Why don't you tell Akane allll about our little joke!" Ranma sneered, folding his arms.
Gods what I wouldn't have given to tear that disgusting look from off his face. I had ushered in my willpower, determined not to give him the satisfaction of seeing me flustered. It was time the truth be told, for better or for worse. I had to end the string of lies! Ranma had always taken pleasure in my discomfort brought on by the curse. I would rob him of further satisfaction. Besides, until Akane found out, the cycle of lunacy would continue unhindered. It didn't matter how she took it anyways, I would soon be gone forever.
"Because, Akane, I am P-Chan. I fell into a spring thanks to a lucky kick from Ranma." Emotion siezed my heart and I found myself stepping towards her. It was impossible not to love the beautiful girl in front of me. Her shining eyes drew me in like a becon and as the wind rustled her school dress, she clasped her soft hands together across her chest.
I had to do it!! "I've been your pet all this time because....because I love you, Akane. I have, and will always love you. You are the greatest joy in my life and I treasure the time I've spent with you." Step after step brought me closer to my beloved and I longed to stroke her soft cheeks and touch my lips to hers as I listened to her inhale with excitement.
"Your so beautiful… I only wish you could have been mine! Please, if you can find it in your heart, forgive me for my disgraceful actions. I knew that it was the only way I could receive love from you in return."
I snapped out of my stupor and shook my head. I had a mission to do! "Ranma may deny it to you and even to himself but he loves you too." I gestured towards the awestruck pigtailed boy with my chin.
I remember her reaction well. The color faded from Akane's cheeks and she fell to her knees in near shock. That wasn't the kind of reaction I had expected to get from her. I had foreseen her decking me with a look of pure anger and hurt radiating from her eyes, or watch heartbroken as she turned and ran crying down the street. But I received none of these reactions. Instead she only sat there, gazing at me numbly.
I turned around to face Ranma who had yet to remove his jaw from the ground. At last he had no edge against me, no way to rally up my emotions to score a quick win. For the first time since I came to this insane place, I had felt a sense of satisfaction. And that sensation felt good.
I stared deeply into his eyes. "She is not yours, not yet. I will not let you have her without a fight. One way or another, you will admit your true feelings for her yourself before I leave!"
Before I finished my sentence my feet had kicked off the ground and my fist implanted itself in a stone wall where my nimble rival had been a millisecond before. I snarled and used the wall to rebound past Ranma's outer defenses. We traded blows, me receiving more but again, that was nothing new.
As I caught a few of his punches, using my forearms to soak up the damage, I got a lucky kick in, and it had sent him crashing into the gates of the now closed for the day Furinkan high. Most of the students had already gone home so we didn't have an audience, which was just the way I wanted it. No distractions, no inference, just a shot to get the job done and go home forever.
Ranma counter-attacked, pushing me back as he punched with greater strength, clipping my shoulders and sides with blows that caused me to stumble back across the concrete.
The rage that had died down when I had spoken to Akane returned full force. One of my punches found it's mark in his stomach and had actually lifted him off the ground with a satisfying crash. Ranma did a backwards flip, clutching his burning torso and grunting with pain. I rose to combat position again. It was so rare for me to actually hit him in a serious fight and I had desperately wanted to savor the moment for as long as I could.
"This is always the same kind of fight... isn't it, Ranma? What do you say we end it once and for all? Fight well or Akane will never be yours." My high kick found it's way into his blocking hand. I quickly removed it before he could counter and use my momentum against me. Looking down at my leg, I suddenly realized how stupid I had been for doing that as it momentarily left me open. His right fist smashed into my eye. I could feel it swell shut instantly.
We grappled then, slamming punches into each other, shaking the walls that bordered each side of the street. I took the majority of the blows, and a quick kick, caught me under the chin, snapping my head back so hard I saw stars. Stumbling backwards, I faced him again, clenching my hand into a fist so tight my knuckles popped.
"How dare you...." I felt hatred rise up inside me again that day, a hate far greater than I had previously known. I hadn't expected him to strike in such a manner, or to actually hit me hard enough to cause my eye to swell up! He had never hurt me like that before. He fought with a greater talent then I had ever seen him use. To my utter amazement, he started grinning, as if taking pleasure in my pain. What was happening to him? Had my last, taunting comment about losing Akane finally pushed him over the edge?
I had then removed several of my bandanna's to hold him at a distance but Ranma attacked before I could throw them. His fist came up aiming for my jaw, but I managed to deflect with my free left hand. At the same time, my right knee planted itself into his side. As we struck each other, it emitting a loud crashing sound that shook the window panes on nearby houses.
I dawned on me then that I had to do something to shift the momentum. Ranma had been only three paces from me. I needed to sap some of his energy away and take the advantage away!
I slammed my finger into the ground, initiating the breaking point attack. The ground exploded in front of me, showering Ranma with a thousand bits of shrapnel that cut his face, chest and arms. Using the cloud of smoke as cover, I attacked him again. My foot caught the side of jaw, snapping his head sideways at a painful degree. The blow was so hard it actually flipped him off his feet. He landed on his back at such an angle that it knocked the breath from his lungs.
"Ranma, give up. Please." This fight's only purpose was to end the insanity, I had no quest of revenge. Those days were over. I suddenly felt closer to my enemy then I ever had before. I cannot explain it, not even now. Suddenly, I didn't want to fight or hurt him anymore. I wanted to be with Akane... but still, wanted to be Ranma's frie... What was I saying!?!? Did I actually want to be my rival's friend!? No! I was only here to do a job then leave town! I shook my head violently and snapped back into reality in time to hear Ranma's response.
"No."
I sighed. "Your pride is getting in the way, just as mine always did. No wonder your life is a living hell, you make it that way. How much longer will we have to kick the tar out of each other before you see reason in that stupid mind of yours? Admit you love Akane and I'll leave forever."
Ranma rose to his feet, looking a bit worse for wear. Trickles of blood flowed down his face and his hair was matted with sweat. The scowl on his face was quickly becoming something much more sinister. "I hate you... Ryoga...."
Before I could have even moved his elbow slammed into my throat, causing to me to gasp and fall to my knee's as I choked. He stood over me menacingly, as if he intended to engulf me in his shadow. His teeth clenched and his eyes held a frightening Red tint to them. Even now, I remember that strong sense of fear I had felt looking up into his eyes. It was a horrifying sensation I will never forget.
"Ranma, what in the hell is happening to you?"
"I hate you, Ryoga! You've caused so many of my life problems. I'm going to put you out of my life, forever!!!"
His foot slammed into my nose, breaking it and knocking me onto my back. I shut my good eye and tightened up my stomach muscles as his punches rained down. For all the good it had done me! It was like trying to block a bullet with a paper plate.
"Kashu Tenshin Amaguriken!!!!!"
I felt his punishing move pound my helpless body. As I attempted to block, his last punch found its place on my right elbow joint, breaking it. With my only good arm I finally punched him off of me, then rose and staggered backwards away from him. I held my useless appendage in awe. My face became a mask of horror and pain. No one had ever been able to break my bones before! What the hell!?
Ranma's foot was in my chest a second later, and I felt two of my ribs snap, forcing a loud cry of anguish from my mouth. I looked at Ranma again as the pain sharpened my senses. He had been laughing with madness on that day, and the sounds of that laughter still echo within my ears!
There was nothing I could do. He was going to kill me! My plan had gone horribly wrong from the start, and there was no point in trying to salvage it, not at the extent of my life.
"Ranma, I....I give up. I give up my fight for Akane. I give up my vendetta against you. I give it all up....."
Tears had filled my eyes. How I hated to surrender…
His foot slammed into my ribs again. My hand came up to hold my burning torso. There was nothing I could do to ward him off! He wasn't even listening to me! His attack had cut a large gash on my stomach that instantly started leaking blood. My clothes quickly stained crimson.
Was Ranma insane?!!
"It goes so far beyond all that, Ryoga. I can't just let you just give up! I'm going to kill you." So cold, his voice had been so very cold. How could he just sentence me to death and act like it wasn't a big deal. To him, it was no different then discussing the weather with a neighbor.
"Ranma, what are you doing? Stop it! Your killing him!!" Akane screamed at him over and over but it didn't phase Ranma in the slightest. As she ran towards me to aide in my survival, Ranma fixed her with a stare that contained nothing but pure evil. It paralyzed her with it's horror.
"Stay out of this, Akane."
She watched on helplessly as fear consumed her.
It didn't really matter anymore by that point. I guess secretly, a part of me did want to die. The thought existed somewhere, at least in the back of my mind. I had failed at life, failed to be a strong martial artist, and failed to win the woman I loved. Death would be a blessing. What was worth living for anyways?
As depression shot through me like a bullet, I barely noticed the small ball of Blue energy that formed in my one good hand, shining with radiance. I looked down in wonder. It was worth a shot even if I had never done it with one hand before. My life was on the line, and I'd be damned if I was going to die without giving it all I had!
"DIE!!" He jumped towards me with his fist outstretched, fully prepared to snap my spine with one punch. I rose up and held my aura covered palm out in front of me.
"Shishi Hokodan!!"
The energy blast was by far the strongest I had ever created. It slammed into the screaming demon that was Ranma and drove him back through everything that was in the energy beam's path. The column of power ripped through houses and concrete for a mile down the line, melting metal and charging the air with power.
I gasped loudly, clutching my bloody stomach as my strength vanished and unending pain appeared in it's place. Akane, snapped herself out of the trance and put her hand under my arm, helped me up to my feet. The vacant look in her eyes showed that she was in shock
"Oh, no, Ryoga, are you ok??" She tore off the sleeve of her school dress and tied it around my waist, forcing the blood to stop with pressure. I smiled weakly at her in gratitude, struggling to stay awake. Her kindness, even if it was fleeting, was appreciated.
But she could never be mine now. She belonged with Ranma. I had failed.
"GET AWAY FROM HER!!!!"
Ranma's fist slammed into the side of my face, knocking me to the ground and throwing Akane off balance. I quickly found I did not have the strength to rise again. The Shishi Hokodan had ended up being nothing more than a last ditch delaying attack... and it had taken all my remaining energy. I lay there, waiting for Ranma to finish me off. Silent tears flowed down my face like a mournful waterfall. Was I already dieing? Everything felt so cold inside...
The pressure dressing she had tied around my stomach came undone and blood flowed freely again.
Ranma brought his fist down, aiming for my throat but Akane caught it and used all of her strength to throw him away from me. Hot tears streamed down her face as well. "Ranma! What are you doing?! This isn't like you! Look at what you did to Ryoga! Your killing him! He's bleeding to death!" She fell down beside me, trying to ease my pain as blood soaked the ground around me.
Ranma's face seemed to twist insanely then, abruptly, he was himself again, fighting against the demon he had just become. He convulsed insanely for a moment longer, as his will restrained the monster and beat it out of existence forever. Finally himself again, he assessed the situation with uncertainty and dread. Tears filled his eyes as the magnitude of what he had accomplished hit him dead on. He looked down at his shaking, blood soaked hands..
"Oh, Ryoga! What have I done?" He ran over to me and pulled out a small flask from his pocket. "This is a special healing thing Cologne gave me one time. Use it!"
I knocked the flask away, not caring about weather or not it broke. Shaking, I slowly rose to my feet, using my iron will instead of strength.
"No, Ryoga! We have to get you to a hospital!" Akane cried, trying to hold me back.
I forced myself out of her grip and grabbed my backpack which had seemed a thousand times too heavy. I didn't care if I died. Life held no further meaning. I had lost. It would be for the last time.
Without a word I had only sighed, then started off down Nermia's main street without another word.
"Ryoga, no! Your going to die if we don't help you!" Ranma had cried out. His voice held sadness, guilt, and anger at himself. It didn't phase me, and I didn't stop my walk.
"I've lived under a blanket of loneliness and pain most of my life. If I am to die, let me die alone." My voice was barely a whisper. I don't know if they heard me or not, it hardly mattered.
________________________________________________________
"Pathetic, Ryoga..." the laugh that comes from my mouth quickly turns into a rattled cough, bringing blood splashing against my chin. I stumble onward, remembering things despite the pain it causes.
________________________________________________________
Akane had found me an hour after the battle and explained to me why Ranma had been acting so crazy with rage. Apparently, while eating a free meal at the cat cafe' Shampoo had accidentally given him an order of Ramen with Rage Spice sprinkled on it instead of her intended love potion. It was activated by adrenaline and deactivated by a short period of inactivity. The dosage he had consumed would run it's full course in about four hours.
She even went so far as to tell me she forgave me for deceiving her and pleaded with me to return home with her for medical treatment. I wont lie and say I wasn't tempted. The pain I had felt, was whispering in my ear, and my mind begged to make it stop.
Gazing deep into her beautiful, Grey eyes, I wanted nothing more than to comply with her wish. But two things stopped me dead in my tracks and my determination took root. One was that my mother needed me more than anything in her final days and two, if I stayed, nothing would change and I would have suffered my defeat for no reason at all. If I left Nerima for good, the chain might break and changes I desired would occur.
I could never come back. I had lost my final, humiliating match and I had failed to make Ranma see the light and confess his feelings to Akane. My hope was that with me gone, Akane and Ranma's life would finally change for the better. I hoped against hope my hypothesis would be correct.
Looking back, I had clearly gone about my plan the wrong way. I shouldn't have attacked him and taunted him with my words. But at the time, fighting was all I had knew so my choices felt limited. I have since learned that there is always an alternative to fighting. That is a lesson I take very seriously.
With tears in my eyes, I said goodbye to Akane Tendo for the last time. It was a heart wrenching moment for us and I nearly collapsed on the spot. Her soft Grey eyes unleashed tears of their own when she realized she was losing a friend forever.
Fishing through my bag, I found the last souvenir I had purchased in Kyoto, just prior to learning of my mother's condition. I placed a small stuffed animal pig into her hands and gave her a brave smile, covering the agony I felt inside.
"Please, Akane, never forget me."
"Please, Ryoga, don't do this! We need you! Your so important to us!"
"Goodbye, my only love."
I left without another word, walking away from her sobbing form as the warm Tokyo sun settled against the buildings behind us. I never looked back. Depression gripped me and I felt the awesome waves of energy build within me, begging me to form it into a Shishi Hokodan. It would be so easy, I could release all my depression and be done with it at all. A small Blue ball of energy formed in my hand.
No! I crushed the ball in my fist. The release of such energy in my weakened state would surely kill me. I had lived with great depression before, baring it a bit longer wouldn't hurt me further.
Adjusting my bag, I continued down Tokyo's endless streets. I eventually stumbled out of town, determined to keep walking until the merciful end came for me.
_________________________________________
I sigh and push the memories aside at last as I enter a different town. Exhaustion grips me and I finally fall, landing on my injured side. The pain weakens me further and I can feel blood drip from my body onto the empty ally beneath me. The edges of my vision blur and a brave little smile touches my lips.
I am not afraid to die, not anymore. I settle myself and prepare to let go of my spirit. Turning to look up at the beautiful Blue sky, I sigh with longing. I want to float among the clouds freely, living happily and carefree for all eternity. Peace…. A piece without pain awaits me…
"I'm sorry…mother…."
I hear a dog bark several hundred feet away. But my distracted mind pays it no heed.
"No, girl! Come back!"
A dog bounds into my limited vision and runs toward me. I raised my hand to ward it off. Eager as I was to go, I did not want to end my life being mauled by a dog. It was only when I saw her body, half black and half white, did I recognized my dog, my personal guardian. She had been my guide over time, keeping me safe. How she found me I do not know but as her tongue licked my bloodstained cheek, I smile softly.
"Good to see you.... Checkers..."
"Come back!"
The owner of the voice that had been calling her shows herself at last. She's beautiful as far as I could tell. Her cute face was bordered by two thick strands of hair that were dyed a pinkish color. She stops dead in her tracks as she saw me and her eyes widen in surprise.
"Oh! Are you ok!?" She runs to my side, uncertain of what to do.
"I'm not in the best of shape," I mutter.
"I need to get you to a doctor! Can you walk?"
I'm shocked by her concern for a complete stranger. Deep inside, I find a spark of energy. I nod. "Please help me up."
With a fair amount of strength she helps me up onto my legs that barely function and puts my arm around her. My breathing grows a bit more labored in my chest.
"There's a clinic just a few blocks away." We began to stumble towards it's direction.
"Thank you… for your help. Tell me, where did you find that dog?" Speaking was taxing, but I was filled with a sudden curiosity.
She blinks her pretty eyes. "It's the dog of a family I'm visiting. It's strange how she reacted so warmly to you! Normally she isn't quite so trusting towards strangers."
I manage a rattled laugh that came out as a cough. "I should hope she'd show me kindness, she's my dog."
The girl gave a little gasp and stared at me hard. "She's your dog? You must be Ryoga!"
"In the flesh, although I'm sorry you had to meet me under such conditions. I've come home to see my mother. How is she?"
"Her condition is getting worse but I'm sure it'll do her good to see you again. We need to get you to a clinic first, you don't want to let her see you like this!"
Somehow I make it to the clinic. The skilled doctor manages to stop my bleeding and set my broken bones. All the while the helpful girl watches over me, giving me encouraging smiles. Laying on a crisp white bed, my nearly dead body finally rests as it had never before. Looking up at her from my pillow, I smile in return.
"What's your name?" I ask.
"It's Akari."
"Akari… That's a pretty name."
Her face flushes and she looks away. I find it quite strange that such a beautiful girl could find such compliments embarrassing. Then again, if it weren't for my weakened state, I would have probably acted just as shy, if not more so.
"How do you know my family? I don't remember ever seeing you before."
The blush fades and her features brighten. "Oh, I raise sumo pigs and I was bringing some of them to the city to sell one day about a year ago. A car took a wrong turn and almost hit us and the pigs ran off in fear. Your father helped rally them up for me. I've become good friends with your family since then, and I've tried to help your mom through her time of need."
I sigh sadly. "If I had know that she had contracted cancer, I would have come home sooner."
"She didn't want to tell you until the doctors were certain it would be fatal."
Sadness crushes me. My mother was dying mere blocks away and I was just lying here. Gripping the bed post, I quickly rose to my feet and stumbled toward the door, ignoring the searing pain my ribs gave me. I curse, looking down at my useless right arm, now encased in a hard cast.
She grips me. "Wait, your in no condition to be leaving! The doctor will be back soon, be patient until then."
I set my teeth. "I've been away far too long. Please, Akari... please take me to my mother."
She clearly wanted to refuse me but my pleading look won her over. Once again, she places my arm around her shoulder and helped me home.
"Mother, I'm home!" My call echoes through the house as I stagger through the front door. Urgency claims me. Releasing my hold on her, I stumble into my parents bedroom. Father rose to his feet, clearly startled and mom shifts in her bed to look up at me. I could hear Akari run in after me but by her sudden stop, I concluded she was uncertain about what to do.
"I'm home…"
Mother brought her hands up to her mouth. "Ryoga?!"
She looks much paler than last time I had seen her. I nearly fall down beside her, hugging her with all the strength I could muster. She starts sobbing, holding me to her as tightly as she could. Even her condition could not erase the joy she felt in seeing the return of her long lost son, nor could her joy cover the pain she felt looking at my broken form.
Tears fill my eyes as well and I kiss her cheek. "I'm here, Mom. I won't leave you. I will never leave you again..."
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Epilogue:
Several months later, around the time I healed completely, we laid mother to rest. The end came swiftly and mercifully for her. Towards the end, the cancer started spreading quicker and her health deteriorated. I stayed with her until the very end, providing what little comfort I could. I stayed up late with her just talking, easing her mind away from the pain. With little time left, She passed on numerous bits of wisdom and words of advice that I took in with relish.
Her pain was so great in the end that her passing was a blessing.
Her loss crushed me inside and the grief would have taken me completely if it hadn't been for Akari. As my body gradually healed and strengthened once more, she stopped by more and more frequently, walking all the way from her pig farm out in country. She provided me with a shoulder to lean on and a friendly voice to chat with. I don't know how I could have made it without her.
She was always there for me. At the funeral she held me as I sobbed on her shoulder, assuring me that mother was in a happier place. Her kind words and acts helped to mend my battered soul and keep the claws of depression away from my soul.
We grew closer with each passing week. It was quite innocent at first, a peck on the cheek here, a hug there. But we both wanted something more. One bright, sunny day, many months later, I confronted the true feelings that had started to emerge inside of my heart and I kissed her. She embraced me firmly, giving back, showing her feelings for me were quite the same.
I found she had an interesting fascination with pigs. As I had expected, she grew quite fond of my curse and accepted me for who I had become, even though I had not. Akari made me feel special and loved. I worked hard to show her the same devotion in return.
Shortly thereafter I ran into Mousse and Shampoo who were returning from a beachside vacation and I learned about Ranma and Akane's wedding. The event had, understandably, caused a chain reaction within the community. As a result, Ukyo had promptly moved back home to go into business with her father. Kuno had started courting Nabiki, and Shampoo and Mousse had found true love at last. Most interesting of all, I found out that Ranma had triggered the whole thing by telling Akane his feelings for her... mere weeks after I left!
I had not been unsuccessful after all. This left me feeling… complete.
Now as my own wedding day looms closer, I feel as though I've found true peace at last. I hadn't failed after all! Taking Akari's hand and leading her through the small park near my house for our nightly walk, I raised my eyes skyward to the emerging stars and uttered a silent prayer for Ranma's continued happiness.
The past is gone, completed. I don't regret the things I did, or the bittersweet memories I created. I held no grudge for what happened during my fight with Ranma. I knew it was time to move on with my life.
It was then that it hit me, I had become a man.
Pulling Akari down onto the soft grass, I found her lips ready and inviting. Embracing her, I knew I had finally found my little slice of heaven. For the first time, all the pieces of my life seemed to come together in the right order.
"I love you, Akari."
"I love you too."
The start of a wonderful new life had begun. The past was done. Life had taught me one very valuable lesson that I will pass onto my children someday: tragedy occurs to everyone at some point, it's a guaranteed certainty. The saddest part comes when a person gives into his or her grief and starts to believe there is no hope. They believe things will never get better and then give up. This keeps them from healing and moving on towards a new happiness. I've learned that when facing a crisis or a tragedy, a person shouldn't have to face it alone! Family and friends will always be there for them, and when people come together, no force on the planet can break that love and devotion.
Goodbye, Ranma and Akane, and good luck. Find your happiness and hold fast to it for the rest of your lives!
Akari kissed me again, tearing my mind away from my personal thoughts. We lay together, basking in each other's love.
The end.
Authors notes:
Sometimes the worst situations we face in life can lead to wonderful things.
Being a soldier in the Army stationed at Ft. Hood, Texas, I've found the level of love and patriotism churned up after Sept. 11 to be heartwarming and inspirational. Admits such a terrible crisis, we American's banded together in a time of need and combated the greatest possible evil this generation could ever imagine. I damn all terrorists to the lowest pits of hell.
To the families affected during the events of Sept. 11th, as well as the families of the dedicated Green Berets who died in Afghanistan, I want you to know you will be in my prayers.
I've recently returned from Kuwait, so I haven't had a chance to finish and post my Ranma 1/2 Nightmare saga just yet. I've received several humorous and impatient emails from my friends out there and I assure you, I'm working as fast as I can to make up for lost time.
This story goes out to my brother, who is currently in Basic Training and living a hellish existence. Bro, when you read this, I want you to know that as a fellow soldier, I love and respect you. Serve our country proud and true!
And lastly, thank you, fanfic authors everywhere, for being creative, and keeping the net filled with wonderful stories to read!
As always, you can reach me thru my email: HyperRyoga@aol.com or Ryoga_Birth@yahoo.com. I'd love feedback but remember, this is a work of fun, not a New York time's bestseller.
Thanks for reading!
JohnnyReb
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic.
By JohnnyReb.
I do not own any of these characters! All rights go to Rumiko Takahashi, Shoten Sunday, Kitty, and anyone else who had a part to the rights.
I stumble along the dirty, dusty road as the hot sun beats down on me, causing patches of sweat to form on my brow. Raising an exhausted arm, I wipe the residue away, gazing casually onward as the road stretches endlessly before me. I don't care where I end up, I've moved beyond caring within the span of these last few days. What does it matter anyways, I couldn't find my way around my house without getting lost, much less the greater Tokyo area. Ironically, I've begun to learn patience regarding my sense of direction. It came quickly once I realized I couldn't beat this condition I possess.
I'm so tired.... so tired of everything...
On my hunched back is my hiking backpack containing my life, everything I owned and needed to survive in the great wilds of Japan. But it was not the weight of my meager possessions that bends my back, it's the knowledge of the defeat I had suffered. I had been beaten again and with that in mind, my sense of pride has vanished entirely. In times past, getting the snot kicked out of me would have only motivated me to try harder, to fight with more determination the next time. But that was then, the past. It was all over now. I'm tired of this life I lead and the defeats that continue to show how pathetic a life it is.
I stop and look up at the high afternoon sky, wiping away the sweat that once again drenches my forehead. I've been traveling for over two days without stopping, a grand feat even for me. I have not eaten, have not slept, have not drank. This is how I chose to punished myself for my defeats.
I had been beaten again.
I continue to walk, to distance myself from the pain.
A group of crows circles over-head, waiting for me to fall and die. Saliva drips from their beaks in anticipation of a good meal. I smile grimly, turning to look back at the road, ignoring the carrion birds and their predatory stares. They would have to be disappointed. I will not die. Though beaten black and Blue, my soul forces me onwards to further bask in my pain and misery. It is another fitting punishment.
I had been beaten again.
It hadn't been a regular fight. Sure, it had started out as normal as all our fights go, but something inside me had snapped, pushing Ranma over the edge as well. For a time, we had both been out to destroy each other. The fight had lasted longer than usual, and it had ended with me lying in a broken heap on the ground.
The fight had been the last. I will not fight again.
Sighing, I gingerly touch my blood-stained side and instantly wished I hadn't. A painful battle memento, a battle I had been so sure I could win. After losing for so long and training so hard, didn't I deserve some small measure of happiness? Apparently the Gods thought not because here I am traveling Japan's most desolate countryside, barely alive, and alone.
I had been beaten for the last time.
Alone... I've always been alone. I'm a lost soul doomed to never find happiness or peace. I can only keep moving, and attempt to avoid being consumed by raw grief, humiliation, and sadness. Even now.... I can still hear his mocking voice in the back of my head.
I bear my fangs, sickened at the pathetic level of self pity I am applying to myself. I'm carrying on like a small child! I clear my mind of pitiful thoughts and try to continue walking, but my pace slows. Lifting my legs becomes nearly impossible.
I'm so exhausted...
My mind gives way due to lack of strength and all the memories of the past three days come rushing back into my thoughts and emotions. I throw myself into this wave, caring little about myself or my impending fate.
I award myself a small, sad smile. I had lost a powerful fight, one I will never forget.....
_______________________________________________________
When I read a letter from my father telling me that Mom was dying of cancer a week ago, something changed inside of me forever. An emotion other than grief sprung into existence in the blink of an eye. A part of me grieved of course, but another part of me felt a magnitude of anger that surprised me. Strangely, the anger was directed at myself and it took me a few moments to figure out why. I soon came to the conclusion that it was because I had allowed myself to get caught up in Ranma's crazy life and become sidetracked. I had lost too many days striving to defeat a stronger opponent and punish him for every mistake he made and insult he threw.
I had lost track of the most important things in my life. Caving Ranma's head in, I suddenly realized, didn't belong on that list. I'd lost time I could never win back, time I should have spent with my family. It was too late to atone, to bring time back. Along with this realization came tears. They had sprinkled down my cheeks like raindrops.
A determination arose as well, one that demanded conclusion. I could very well just break away from Ranma's crazy life and disappear forever, but that would be too easy. I never left something unfinished if I could help it. My new purpose, one I would use to combat the pain and grief in my heart would be to end the crazy, endless circle of antics with Nerima and force Ranma to find a direction to his life. Akane deserved his complete devotion.
I had been living in an illusion, hoping to one day take Akane from Ranma. Looking back, I see how foolish and infantile that goal was.
It was at that moment, a week ago I set off on my final, determined adventure. I swore at that moment that I wouldn't rest until my efforts bore fruit. The next day, my goal would feel as shattered as my body...
____________________________________________
I had given him no notice that I was going to attack. There was no "Ranna, prepare to die," or "Ranma, apologize to Akane,". No, this time I just attacked, letting my attacks speak for me. There was no motivation this time, only pure determination to accomplish my chosen mission then leave town forever.
"Come on, Ryoga! Give it a rest already!"
He had ducked his head with his usual impressive speed as my large umbrella shattered the wall in the place he been standing by seconds before. The fact that he always knew what I was going to do before I did it enraged the hell out of me. Ranma seemed to have a gift to always bring about the worst in me, especially during a duel. The reoccurring theme in this final fight was that, like every fight we've had in the past, I was determined to beat him once and for all. With all my anger and guilt fueling my attacks, how could I not have won? Surely, I had thought, the God's would grant me one final victory.
The way he effortlessly dodged my attacks really ticked me off. "Ranma.... I'm so sick of this never ending demented roller coaster you've created for yourself! You've had two years with Akane and still you do nothing but shun her and her feelings! You've been given more than most people ever dream of but you only wasted your time flirting and running like a coward from your female fiancée' cheering squad. Your chances are over! I'm putting a stop to all this today. Regardless of what you do, something will change today!"
Ranma threw a right hook, and caught me square in the jaw. My head snapped to the side but I felt no pain, only a stronger sense of anger. It rose inside of me like a clawed demon. When I turned my head back to face him, Ranma was standing on the other side of the road, awaiting my advance. He was very nimble, and this skill had saved his life on more than one occasion.
"You think I asked for this life, Ryoga? I never asked to be engaged, or to be cursed, or to have crazy jerks like you running around trying to kill me! Half of the problems in my life are because of you, pig-boy!"
My eyes narrowed dangerously. The insult no longer made me cringed but I hadn't noticed it at the time. I had grown so tiRed of this endless charade that my petty anger at being insulted had finally died out. The knowledge of the impending death of a parent tended to make most everything else a moot issue.
"Ranma, what are you doing?! Stop fighting this instant!"
I turned my head to see Akane standing there, clutching her school bag to her chest in startled fear. Gods, she was so beautiful! The wind was blowing through her hair that day, stroking it with invisible fingers. She looked so mystical and enchanting. I felt that reoccurring feeling, the one where I longed to stroke her cheek and bring her lips to my own.
"Ryoga, why is he always calling you a pig? Is it some kind of inside joke?" She had cocked her head to the side, giving me her full attention.
Beautiful or not, Akane lacked common sense when it came to certain things. That was a fact even I couldn't deny. Had she not seen me change a few hundred times from a man to a pig? Couldn't she tell that the bandanna around my head was also around her pet P-chan's neck? Couldn't she tell that P-chan was never around when I was?
I hesitated for a minute, licking my lips and trying to form a decent response.
"Yeahhh, Ryoga! Why don't you tell Akane allll about our little joke!" Ranma sneered, folding his arms.
Gods what I wouldn't have given to tear that disgusting look from off his face. I had ushered in my willpower, determined not to give him the satisfaction of seeing me flustered. It was time the truth be told, for better or for worse. I had to end the string of lies! Ranma had always taken pleasure in my discomfort brought on by the curse. I would rob him of further satisfaction. Besides, until Akane found out, the cycle of lunacy would continue unhindered. It didn't matter how she took it anyways, I would soon be gone forever.
"Because, Akane, I am P-Chan. I fell into a spring thanks to a lucky kick from Ranma." Emotion siezed my heart and I found myself stepping towards her. It was impossible not to love the beautiful girl in front of me. Her shining eyes drew me in like a becon and as the wind rustled her school dress, she clasped her soft hands together across her chest.
I had to do it!! "I've been your pet all this time because....because I love you, Akane. I have, and will always love you. You are the greatest joy in my life and I treasure the time I've spent with you." Step after step brought me closer to my beloved and I longed to stroke her soft cheeks and touch my lips to hers as I listened to her inhale with excitement.
"Your so beautiful… I only wish you could have been mine! Please, if you can find it in your heart, forgive me for my disgraceful actions. I knew that it was the only way I could receive love from you in return."
I snapped out of my stupor and shook my head. I had a mission to do! "Ranma may deny it to you and even to himself but he loves you too." I gestured towards the awestruck pigtailed boy with my chin.
I remember her reaction well. The color faded from Akane's cheeks and she fell to her knees in near shock. That wasn't the kind of reaction I had expected to get from her. I had foreseen her decking me with a look of pure anger and hurt radiating from her eyes, or watch heartbroken as she turned and ran crying down the street. But I received none of these reactions. Instead she only sat there, gazing at me numbly.
I turned around to face Ranma who had yet to remove his jaw from the ground. At last he had no edge against me, no way to rally up my emotions to score a quick win. For the first time since I came to this insane place, I had felt a sense of satisfaction. And that sensation felt good.
I stared deeply into his eyes. "She is not yours, not yet. I will not let you have her without a fight. One way or another, you will admit your true feelings for her yourself before I leave!"
Before I finished my sentence my feet had kicked off the ground and my fist implanted itself in a stone wall where my nimble rival had been a millisecond before. I snarled and used the wall to rebound past Ranma's outer defenses. We traded blows, me receiving more but again, that was nothing new.
As I caught a few of his punches, using my forearms to soak up the damage, I got a lucky kick in, and it had sent him crashing into the gates of the now closed for the day Furinkan high. Most of the students had already gone home so we didn't have an audience, which was just the way I wanted it. No distractions, no inference, just a shot to get the job done and go home forever.
Ranma counter-attacked, pushing me back as he punched with greater strength, clipping my shoulders and sides with blows that caused me to stumble back across the concrete.
The rage that had died down when I had spoken to Akane returned full force. One of my punches found it's mark in his stomach and had actually lifted him off the ground with a satisfying crash. Ranma did a backwards flip, clutching his burning torso and grunting with pain. I rose to combat position again. It was so rare for me to actually hit him in a serious fight and I had desperately wanted to savor the moment for as long as I could.
"This is always the same kind of fight... isn't it, Ranma? What do you say we end it once and for all? Fight well or Akane will never be yours." My high kick found it's way into his blocking hand. I quickly removed it before he could counter and use my momentum against me. Looking down at my leg, I suddenly realized how stupid I had been for doing that as it momentarily left me open. His right fist smashed into my eye. I could feel it swell shut instantly.
We grappled then, slamming punches into each other, shaking the walls that bordered each side of the street. I took the majority of the blows, and a quick kick, caught me under the chin, snapping my head back so hard I saw stars. Stumbling backwards, I faced him again, clenching my hand into a fist so tight my knuckles popped.
"How dare you...." I felt hatred rise up inside me again that day, a hate far greater than I had previously known. I hadn't expected him to strike in such a manner, or to actually hit me hard enough to cause my eye to swell up! He had never hurt me like that before. He fought with a greater talent then I had ever seen him use. To my utter amazement, he started grinning, as if taking pleasure in my pain. What was happening to him? Had my last, taunting comment about losing Akane finally pushed him over the edge?
I had then removed several of my bandanna's to hold him at a distance but Ranma attacked before I could throw them. His fist came up aiming for my jaw, but I managed to deflect with my free left hand. At the same time, my right knee planted itself into his side. As we struck each other, it emitting a loud crashing sound that shook the window panes on nearby houses.
I dawned on me then that I had to do something to shift the momentum. Ranma had been only three paces from me. I needed to sap some of his energy away and take the advantage away!
I slammed my finger into the ground, initiating the breaking point attack. The ground exploded in front of me, showering Ranma with a thousand bits of shrapnel that cut his face, chest and arms. Using the cloud of smoke as cover, I attacked him again. My foot caught the side of jaw, snapping his head sideways at a painful degree. The blow was so hard it actually flipped him off his feet. He landed on his back at such an angle that it knocked the breath from his lungs.
"Ranma, give up. Please." This fight's only purpose was to end the insanity, I had no quest of revenge. Those days were over. I suddenly felt closer to my enemy then I ever had before. I cannot explain it, not even now. Suddenly, I didn't want to fight or hurt him anymore. I wanted to be with Akane... but still, wanted to be Ranma's frie... What was I saying!?!? Did I actually want to be my rival's friend!? No! I was only here to do a job then leave town! I shook my head violently and snapped back into reality in time to hear Ranma's response.
"No."
I sighed. "Your pride is getting in the way, just as mine always did. No wonder your life is a living hell, you make it that way. How much longer will we have to kick the tar out of each other before you see reason in that stupid mind of yours? Admit you love Akane and I'll leave forever."
Ranma rose to his feet, looking a bit worse for wear. Trickles of blood flowed down his face and his hair was matted with sweat. The scowl on his face was quickly becoming something much more sinister. "I hate you... Ryoga...."
Before I could have even moved his elbow slammed into my throat, causing to me to gasp and fall to my knee's as I choked. He stood over me menacingly, as if he intended to engulf me in his shadow. His teeth clenched and his eyes held a frightening Red tint to them. Even now, I remember that strong sense of fear I had felt looking up into his eyes. It was a horrifying sensation I will never forget.
"Ranma, what in the hell is happening to you?"
"I hate you, Ryoga! You've caused so many of my life problems. I'm going to put you out of my life, forever!!!"
His foot slammed into my nose, breaking it and knocking me onto my back. I shut my good eye and tightened up my stomach muscles as his punches rained down. For all the good it had done me! It was like trying to block a bullet with a paper plate.
"Kashu Tenshin Amaguriken!!!!!"
I felt his punishing move pound my helpless body. As I attempted to block, his last punch found its place on my right elbow joint, breaking it. With my only good arm I finally punched him off of me, then rose and staggered backwards away from him. I held my useless appendage in awe. My face became a mask of horror and pain. No one had ever been able to break my bones before! What the hell!?
Ranma's foot was in my chest a second later, and I felt two of my ribs snap, forcing a loud cry of anguish from my mouth. I looked at Ranma again as the pain sharpened my senses. He had been laughing with madness on that day, and the sounds of that laughter still echo within my ears!
There was nothing I could do. He was going to kill me! My plan had gone horribly wrong from the start, and there was no point in trying to salvage it, not at the extent of my life.
"Ranma, I....I give up. I give up my fight for Akane. I give up my vendetta against you. I give it all up....."
Tears had filled my eyes. How I hated to surrender…
His foot slammed into my ribs again. My hand came up to hold my burning torso. There was nothing I could do to ward him off! He wasn't even listening to me! His attack had cut a large gash on my stomach that instantly started leaking blood. My clothes quickly stained crimson.
Was Ranma insane?!!
"It goes so far beyond all that, Ryoga. I can't just let you just give up! I'm going to kill you." So cold, his voice had been so very cold. How could he just sentence me to death and act like it wasn't a big deal. To him, it was no different then discussing the weather with a neighbor.
"Ranma, what are you doing? Stop it! Your killing him!!" Akane screamed at him over and over but it didn't phase Ranma in the slightest. As she ran towards me to aide in my survival, Ranma fixed her with a stare that contained nothing but pure evil. It paralyzed her with it's horror.
"Stay out of this, Akane."
She watched on helplessly as fear consumed her.
It didn't really matter anymore by that point. I guess secretly, a part of me did want to die. The thought existed somewhere, at least in the back of my mind. I had failed at life, failed to be a strong martial artist, and failed to win the woman I loved. Death would be a blessing. What was worth living for anyways?
As depression shot through me like a bullet, I barely noticed the small ball of Blue energy that formed in my one good hand, shining with radiance. I looked down in wonder. It was worth a shot even if I had never done it with one hand before. My life was on the line, and I'd be damned if I was going to die without giving it all I had!
"DIE!!" He jumped towards me with his fist outstretched, fully prepared to snap my spine with one punch. I rose up and held my aura covered palm out in front of me.
"Shishi Hokodan!!"
The energy blast was by far the strongest I had ever created. It slammed into the screaming demon that was Ranma and drove him back through everything that was in the energy beam's path. The column of power ripped through houses and concrete for a mile down the line, melting metal and charging the air with power.
I gasped loudly, clutching my bloody stomach as my strength vanished and unending pain appeared in it's place. Akane, snapped herself out of the trance and put her hand under my arm, helped me up to my feet. The vacant look in her eyes showed that she was in shock
"Oh, no, Ryoga, are you ok??" She tore off the sleeve of her school dress and tied it around my waist, forcing the blood to stop with pressure. I smiled weakly at her in gratitude, struggling to stay awake. Her kindness, even if it was fleeting, was appreciated.
But she could never be mine now. She belonged with Ranma. I had failed.
"GET AWAY FROM HER!!!!"
Ranma's fist slammed into the side of my face, knocking me to the ground and throwing Akane off balance. I quickly found I did not have the strength to rise again. The Shishi Hokodan had ended up being nothing more than a last ditch delaying attack... and it had taken all my remaining energy. I lay there, waiting for Ranma to finish me off. Silent tears flowed down my face like a mournful waterfall. Was I already dieing? Everything felt so cold inside...
The pressure dressing she had tied around my stomach came undone and blood flowed freely again.
Ranma brought his fist down, aiming for my throat but Akane caught it and used all of her strength to throw him away from me. Hot tears streamed down her face as well. "Ranma! What are you doing?! This isn't like you! Look at what you did to Ryoga! Your killing him! He's bleeding to death!" She fell down beside me, trying to ease my pain as blood soaked the ground around me.
Ranma's face seemed to twist insanely then, abruptly, he was himself again, fighting against the demon he had just become. He convulsed insanely for a moment longer, as his will restrained the monster and beat it out of existence forever. Finally himself again, he assessed the situation with uncertainty and dread. Tears filled his eyes as the magnitude of what he had accomplished hit him dead on. He looked down at his shaking, blood soaked hands..
"Oh, Ryoga! What have I done?" He ran over to me and pulled out a small flask from his pocket. "This is a special healing thing Cologne gave me one time. Use it!"
I knocked the flask away, not caring about weather or not it broke. Shaking, I slowly rose to my feet, using my iron will instead of strength.
"No, Ryoga! We have to get you to a hospital!" Akane cried, trying to hold me back.
I forced myself out of her grip and grabbed my backpack which had seemed a thousand times too heavy. I didn't care if I died. Life held no further meaning. I had lost. It would be for the last time.
Without a word I had only sighed, then started off down Nermia's main street without another word.
"Ryoga, no! Your going to die if we don't help you!" Ranma had cried out. His voice held sadness, guilt, and anger at himself. It didn't phase me, and I didn't stop my walk.
"I've lived under a blanket of loneliness and pain most of my life. If I am to die, let me die alone." My voice was barely a whisper. I don't know if they heard me or not, it hardly mattered.
________________________________________________________
"Pathetic, Ryoga..." the laugh that comes from my mouth quickly turns into a rattled cough, bringing blood splashing against my chin. I stumble onward, remembering things despite the pain it causes.
________________________________________________________
Akane had found me an hour after the battle and explained to me why Ranma had been acting so crazy with rage. Apparently, while eating a free meal at the cat cafe' Shampoo had accidentally given him an order of Ramen with Rage Spice sprinkled on it instead of her intended love potion. It was activated by adrenaline and deactivated by a short period of inactivity. The dosage he had consumed would run it's full course in about four hours.
She even went so far as to tell me she forgave me for deceiving her and pleaded with me to return home with her for medical treatment. I wont lie and say I wasn't tempted. The pain I had felt, was whispering in my ear, and my mind begged to make it stop.
Gazing deep into her beautiful, Grey eyes, I wanted nothing more than to comply with her wish. But two things stopped me dead in my tracks and my determination took root. One was that my mother needed me more than anything in her final days and two, if I stayed, nothing would change and I would have suffered my defeat for no reason at all. If I left Nerima for good, the chain might break and changes I desired would occur.
I could never come back. I had lost my final, humiliating match and I had failed to make Ranma see the light and confess his feelings to Akane. My hope was that with me gone, Akane and Ranma's life would finally change for the better. I hoped against hope my hypothesis would be correct.
Looking back, I had clearly gone about my plan the wrong way. I shouldn't have attacked him and taunted him with my words. But at the time, fighting was all I had knew so my choices felt limited. I have since learned that there is always an alternative to fighting. That is a lesson I take very seriously.
With tears in my eyes, I said goodbye to Akane Tendo for the last time. It was a heart wrenching moment for us and I nearly collapsed on the spot. Her soft Grey eyes unleashed tears of their own when she realized she was losing a friend forever.
Fishing through my bag, I found the last souvenir I had purchased in Kyoto, just prior to learning of my mother's condition. I placed a small stuffed animal pig into her hands and gave her a brave smile, covering the agony I felt inside.
"Please, Akane, never forget me."
"Please, Ryoga, don't do this! We need you! Your so important to us!"
"Goodbye, my only love."
I left without another word, walking away from her sobbing form as the warm Tokyo sun settled against the buildings behind us. I never looked back. Depression gripped me and I felt the awesome waves of energy build within me, begging me to form it into a Shishi Hokodan. It would be so easy, I could release all my depression and be done with it at all. A small Blue ball of energy formed in my hand.
No! I crushed the ball in my fist. The release of such energy in my weakened state would surely kill me. I had lived with great depression before, baring it a bit longer wouldn't hurt me further.
Adjusting my bag, I continued down Tokyo's endless streets. I eventually stumbled out of town, determined to keep walking until the merciful end came for me.
_________________________________________
I sigh and push the memories aside at last as I enter a different town. Exhaustion grips me and I finally fall, landing on my injured side. The pain weakens me further and I can feel blood drip from my body onto the empty ally beneath me. The edges of my vision blur and a brave little smile touches my lips.
I am not afraid to die, not anymore. I settle myself and prepare to let go of my spirit. Turning to look up at the beautiful Blue sky, I sigh with longing. I want to float among the clouds freely, living happily and carefree for all eternity. Peace…. A piece without pain awaits me…
"I'm sorry…mother…."
I hear a dog bark several hundred feet away. But my distracted mind pays it no heed.
"No, girl! Come back!"
A dog bounds into my limited vision and runs toward me. I raised my hand to ward it off. Eager as I was to go, I did not want to end my life being mauled by a dog. It was only when I saw her body, half black and half white, did I recognized my dog, my personal guardian. She had been my guide over time, keeping me safe. How she found me I do not know but as her tongue licked my bloodstained cheek, I smile softly.
"Good to see you.... Checkers..."
"Come back!"
The owner of the voice that had been calling her shows herself at last. She's beautiful as far as I could tell. Her cute face was bordered by two thick strands of hair that were dyed a pinkish color. She stops dead in her tracks as she saw me and her eyes widen in surprise.
"Oh! Are you ok!?" She runs to my side, uncertain of what to do.
"I'm not in the best of shape," I mutter.
"I need to get you to a doctor! Can you walk?"
I'm shocked by her concern for a complete stranger. Deep inside, I find a spark of energy. I nod. "Please help me up."
With a fair amount of strength she helps me up onto my legs that barely function and puts my arm around her. My breathing grows a bit more labored in my chest.
"There's a clinic just a few blocks away." We began to stumble towards it's direction.
"Thank you… for your help. Tell me, where did you find that dog?" Speaking was taxing, but I was filled with a sudden curiosity.
She blinks her pretty eyes. "It's the dog of a family I'm visiting. It's strange how she reacted so warmly to you! Normally she isn't quite so trusting towards strangers."
I manage a rattled laugh that came out as a cough. "I should hope she'd show me kindness, she's my dog."
The girl gave a little gasp and stared at me hard. "She's your dog? You must be Ryoga!"
"In the flesh, although I'm sorry you had to meet me under such conditions. I've come home to see my mother. How is she?"
"Her condition is getting worse but I'm sure it'll do her good to see you again. We need to get you to a clinic first, you don't want to let her see you like this!"
Somehow I make it to the clinic. The skilled doctor manages to stop my bleeding and set my broken bones. All the while the helpful girl watches over me, giving me encouraging smiles. Laying on a crisp white bed, my nearly dead body finally rests as it had never before. Looking up at her from my pillow, I smile in return.
"What's your name?" I ask.
"It's Akari."
"Akari… That's a pretty name."
Her face flushes and she looks away. I find it quite strange that such a beautiful girl could find such compliments embarrassing. Then again, if it weren't for my weakened state, I would have probably acted just as shy, if not more so.
"How do you know my family? I don't remember ever seeing you before."
The blush fades and her features brighten. "Oh, I raise sumo pigs and I was bringing some of them to the city to sell one day about a year ago. A car took a wrong turn and almost hit us and the pigs ran off in fear. Your father helped rally them up for me. I've become good friends with your family since then, and I've tried to help your mom through her time of need."
I sigh sadly. "If I had know that she had contracted cancer, I would have come home sooner."
"She didn't want to tell you until the doctors were certain it would be fatal."
Sadness crushes me. My mother was dying mere blocks away and I was just lying here. Gripping the bed post, I quickly rose to my feet and stumbled toward the door, ignoring the searing pain my ribs gave me. I curse, looking down at my useless right arm, now encased in a hard cast.
She grips me. "Wait, your in no condition to be leaving! The doctor will be back soon, be patient until then."
I set my teeth. "I've been away far too long. Please, Akari... please take me to my mother."
She clearly wanted to refuse me but my pleading look won her over. Once again, she places my arm around her shoulder and helped me home.
"Mother, I'm home!" My call echoes through the house as I stagger through the front door. Urgency claims me. Releasing my hold on her, I stumble into my parents bedroom. Father rose to his feet, clearly startled and mom shifts in her bed to look up at me. I could hear Akari run in after me but by her sudden stop, I concluded she was uncertain about what to do.
"I'm home…"
Mother brought her hands up to her mouth. "Ryoga?!"
She looks much paler than last time I had seen her. I nearly fall down beside her, hugging her with all the strength I could muster. She starts sobbing, holding me to her as tightly as she could. Even her condition could not erase the joy she felt in seeing the return of her long lost son, nor could her joy cover the pain she felt looking at my broken form.
Tears fill my eyes as well and I kiss her cheek. "I'm here, Mom. I won't leave you. I will never leave you again..."
__________________________
Epilogue:
Several months later, around the time I healed completely, we laid mother to rest. The end came swiftly and mercifully for her. Towards the end, the cancer started spreading quicker and her health deteriorated. I stayed with her until the very end, providing what little comfort I could. I stayed up late with her just talking, easing her mind away from the pain. With little time left, She passed on numerous bits of wisdom and words of advice that I took in with relish.
Her pain was so great in the end that her passing was a blessing.
Her loss crushed me inside and the grief would have taken me completely if it hadn't been for Akari. As my body gradually healed and strengthened once more, she stopped by more and more frequently, walking all the way from her pig farm out in country. She provided me with a shoulder to lean on and a friendly voice to chat with. I don't know how I could have made it without her.
She was always there for me. At the funeral she held me as I sobbed on her shoulder, assuring me that mother was in a happier place. Her kind words and acts helped to mend my battered soul and keep the claws of depression away from my soul.
We grew closer with each passing week. It was quite innocent at first, a peck on the cheek here, a hug there. But we both wanted something more. One bright, sunny day, many months later, I confronted the true feelings that had started to emerge inside of my heart and I kissed her. She embraced me firmly, giving back, showing her feelings for me were quite the same.
I found she had an interesting fascination with pigs. As I had expected, she grew quite fond of my curse and accepted me for who I had become, even though I had not. Akari made me feel special and loved. I worked hard to show her the same devotion in return.
Shortly thereafter I ran into Mousse and Shampoo who were returning from a beachside vacation and I learned about Ranma and Akane's wedding. The event had, understandably, caused a chain reaction within the community. As a result, Ukyo had promptly moved back home to go into business with her father. Kuno had started courting Nabiki, and Shampoo and Mousse had found true love at last. Most interesting of all, I found out that Ranma had triggered the whole thing by telling Akane his feelings for her... mere weeks after I left!
I had not been unsuccessful after all. This left me feeling… complete.
Now as my own wedding day looms closer, I feel as though I've found true peace at last. I hadn't failed after all! Taking Akari's hand and leading her through the small park near my house for our nightly walk, I raised my eyes skyward to the emerging stars and uttered a silent prayer for Ranma's continued happiness.
The past is gone, completed. I don't regret the things I did, or the bittersweet memories I created. I held no grudge for what happened during my fight with Ranma. I knew it was time to move on with my life.
It was then that it hit me, I had become a man.
Pulling Akari down onto the soft grass, I found her lips ready and inviting. Embracing her, I knew I had finally found my little slice of heaven. For the first time, all the pieces of my life seemed to come together in the right order.
"I love you, Akari."
"I love you too."
The start of a wonderful new life had begun. The past was done. Life had taught me one very valuable lesson that I will pass onto my children someday: tragedy occurs to everyone at some point, it's a guaranteed certainty. The saddest part comes when a person gives into his or her grief and starts to believe there is no hope. They believe things will never get better and then give up. This keeps them from healing and moving on towards a new happiness. I've learned that when facing a crisis or a tragedy, a person shouldn't have to face it alone! Family and friends will always be there for them, and when people come together, no force on the planet can break that love and devotion.
Goodbye, Ranma and Akane, and good luck. Find your happiness and hold fast to it for the rest of your lives!
Akari kissed me again, tearing my mind away from my personal thoughts. We lay together, basking in each other's love.
The end.
Authors notes:
Sometimes the worst situations we face in life can lead to wonderful things.
Being a soldier in the Army stationed at Ft. Hood, Texas, I've found the level of love and patriotism churned up after Sept. 11 to be heartwarming and inspirational. Admits such a terrible crisis, we American's banded together in a time of need and combated the greatest possible evil this generation could ever imagine. I damn all terrorists to the lowest pits of hell.
To the families affected during the events of Sept. 11th, as well as the families of the dedicated Green Berets who died in Afghanistan, I want you to know you will be in my prayers.
I've recently returned from Kuwait, so I haven't had a chance to finish and post my Ranma 1/2 Nightmare saga just yet. I've received several humorous and impatient emails from my friends out there and I assure you, I'm working as fast as I can to make up for lost time.
This story goes out to my brother, who is currently in Basic Training and living a hellish existence. Bro, when you read this, I want you to know that as a fellow soldier, I love and respect you. Serve our country proud and true!
And lastly, thank you, fanfic authors everywhere, for being creative, and keeping the net filled with wonderful stories to read!
As always, you can reach me thru my email: HyperRyoga@aol.com or Ryoga_Birth@yahoo.com. I'd love feedback but remember, this is a work of fun, not a New York time's bestseller.
Thanks for reading!
JohnnyReb