Finding Freedom
Part 9
Obi washed a pan, his mind far from everything in his world. Cookie chatted quietly with a female servant about the bitter cold weather but Obi paid them no mind. It had been two weeks since Xanatos had released all fury on him. For the next week he spent his days in the bed unless he was desperately needed, nursing bruises and headaches. His head still had a distinct dull throb but he ignored it.
Master Jinn had not returned home. He sent Cookie money for food and the supplies needed for maintaining the large townhouse. There was no note attached besides for what purpose the money served. Obi was giving up hope that his unending monotony and abuse would end by his master's saving. He was on his own.
Obi finished helping with the dishes and decided to see if Xanatos needed anything. He walked the stairs slowly, avoiding the creaky steps. That got on Xanatos's nerves. Obi did all he could to satisfy the young man. He feared his hand. He feared his anger.
The door to the bedroom was opened slightly but Obi still knocked, tensing his body and alerting his senses to any thing that was coming.
"What?" was the only word from Xanatos.
"It's just me, Master." Obi said, showing his face in the door.
"Oh. Come on in here." Obi breathed deeply, entering the room and kneeling where Xanatos sat at the desk. His hands stayed close to his side, his face to the ground. He was becoming subservient by nothing more than instinct. "Lick." Obi jumped and brought his head up to be greeted with a stamp in his face. He did as told and watched Xanatos stick it on the corner of an envelope.
"Why did you come up here? I never called for you."
"I thought you might want something. You never came down for supper, Master."
"Oh, I forgot."
"Would you like something to eat?"
"No."
"Yes, Master," Obi said, not sure if he should go ahead and leave.
"Obi," Xanatos stated, getting his slave's attention. Obi immediately gave his full attention, looking up. It was always a balance of that; looking up and looking down. Xanatos put down the pen he was writing with on the desk and sighed. "My father will be back two days from now. He's been at Lord Sidious's this entire time."
Obi remained silent, assuming Xanatos was going to continue. "I will be leaving before he gets here, taking Nikos with me."
"Will I go with you, Master?"
"No." Obi continued to look upward, lost for thought. "Go back downstairs and wake Nikos up for me."
"Yes, Master."
"Tell him to bring his pillow, he'll be sleeping up here tonight." Xanatos said wearily, picking up his pen once again. Obi simply nodded, shutting the door quietly behind him. Nikos didn't even have a pillow. None of the slaves did.
Going downstairs he still did not know what to think. The special feeling he had when around Master Jinn was ruined, he thought. He left me in the midst of…him Obi thought, immediately looking upstairs, a scowl on his face. He was turning bitter despite warnings to monitor his attitude closely, mostly by Cookie. "You may be a slave, Obi but you can look at it two ways. Either way the world is against you, so you can work towards you in small ways or fight it blindly." Obi had always kept this advice in his head, trying to build his entire approach to life around it.
After abuse, after unfair treatment, and unjust punishments, he could no longer see the use for a positive outlook. It got shattered in the end, one way or another. Might as well tighten and toughen his shell now.
Obi walked through the kitchen, ignoring the looks Cookie threw him. Anymore the Grandmotherly woman annoyed him. He didn't wish to hurt her so he kept his mouth shut. He went beyond the kitchen into his and Nikos' room. He knocked once before entering. Nikos slept lightly on his bed, curled up as tight as possible. "Nikos." Obi shook the older boy's shoulder. He woke immediately. Probably out of training Obi thought.
"Obi? What is it?" Nikos asked urgently, always expecting the worse once woken up.
"Nothing is the matter, so calm down. Master wants you upstairs now. He said to bring your pillow." Nikos' face went from wary to sad acceptance. Then scrunched up. "P-pillow? I don't have a pillow."
"Yes, I know. I do believe that's Master's way of telling you are going to be pleasuring him tonight."
"Oh…yes. Right. Thanks." Obi stood up from the bed, giving his friend a small sideway smile. Obi stretched his arms wide, yawning as he did so.
"You're growing a lot, Obi." Nikos said, changing out of sleep clothes. He looked over his younger friend, admiring the smooth lines of the maturing boy's body.
"Am I really?" Obi asked, looking over his body. "I've always thought I was short and small."
"You are developing muscles. Here, flex," Nikos instructed, squeezing Obi's arm. "I wouldn't call you buff, but you certainly are strong." Obi bit his lip, looking down at his arm.
"I don't know what use muscles will serve me. All I do is follow like a lost puppy and wash pots."
"You lift things too. Think about it. You use to do a lot of lifting. You still do."
"Maybe you're right. Still, I say muscles are no good unless Master decides he wants my ass next." Obi stopped talking, hearing Xanatos's angry voice screaming upstairs. Both slaves looked at each other, wondering what their master was yelling about. "I think I heard your name, Nikos, I'd get up there quickly!" Just then Cookie came running in, her voice red and her voice choppy.
"Nikos! Get up there before he whips us all!" Nikos nodded, running past both of them, bare feet padding quietly. Obi watched the body disappear around the kitchen door. He forgot his pillow Obi thought, finding it amusing that he had some sense of humor left, especially in the given situation.
"These mood swings are going to be the death of me, Obi. He goes from being a polite gentleman, even to me, to a holy terror! I was just up there bringing him tea and he threw a book at me!"
Obi sat down on his mattress, looking at the floor. He was tired of making small talk about things they had no control over. What was the point of complaining? Cookie said it as if she was merely annoyed at the situation. Not despairing, not angry; she said it only to have something to say. Their lives revolved around their betters' moods. Even down to their small talk conversations.
"Obi?" Cookie inquired gently. Obi looked up, his blue-green eyes showing mixed emotions. "Obi, you have been acting so strangely." He could think of nothing to say he so shrugged at her, affixing his look back at the ground. Despite hearing the concern tone in her voice Obi didn't know what to feel.
"Obi, did the young Master say something to you?" Then Obi remembered.
"Oh. Master Jinn is coming home the day after tomorrow. Xanatos is leaving before then and taking Nikos." Obi stared at Cookie once, seeing her eyes take in the information.
"When were you going to tell me this, Obi?" Obi shrugged again, finally feeling like a brat. "Oh you were just going to wait, huh? It's not important in the least, no, of course not…"
"I don't care!" Obi yelled, knowing he was loud enough to be heard through the entire house. "One Master who abuses me, one Master who allows it to happen. I'd rather be dead than care!"
"If you don't lower your voice I'm sure someone will arrange for that!" Obi stood up, walking past Cookie and through the kitchen. She didn't follow him. Maybe that's what he wanted; push Xanatos to his limits so he would be killed by his hands. Shaking his head, Obi sat down on the window seat in the parlor. He was technically allowed in the room, but it was the only place that provided some solitude.
The people on the street fascinated Obi. He wished he could sit and watch people all day and forget about his life. Hearing the steps creak, Obi stood up to investigate. He didn't particularly care if Xanatos found him in here but he still wondered. Instead he saw Nikos, who smiled at him sadly.
"Obi, are you busy? I need to pack quickly…"
"I'll help you." Both walked past Cookie who sat at the kitchen table with scattered papers around her. Obi didn't let himself look over at her; he felt horrible about how he acted earlier. Cookie didn't deserve his bitterness. Only he did, he alone.
Once in the room, Nikos pulled down a bag from a shelf. It was not big but held all of his belongings easily. He put in clean shirts, wraps, and pants. Obi found his shoes and wrapped them in a cloth to keep from getting the clean white clothes soiled. Nikos finished, dropping any sentimental things he had left in the bag.
They sat on the bed in silence, the bag between them. "Obi I don't think we'll be coming back," Nikos said, staring his friend in the face. "I've always looked at you like a brother. You are the closest thing I'll ever have to family. I-I don't know how I'll get along with out you."
Tears sprung up in Obi's eyes but he willed them away. Crying was no use; he had learned that quickly. "You can cry, Obi. I will cry with you."
"Crying serves no purpose but wasting energy." Nikos's eyes narrowed but then softened. He shoved the bag on the floor, scooting over to give Obi a hug.
"Crying does serve a purpose. It's an outlet, Obi. We both need to cry. We carry too much weight, more than anyone should ever be allowed…" Obi shuddered with a sob, gripping Nikos's slim body to his chest. Nikos murmured words into Obi's ear, knowing they didn't make sense. He began to cry quietly, while Obi managed to keep his sobbing quiet but shook with effort.
Finally they pulled apart, both faces red and streaked with tears. Nikos took the corner of the sheet, wiping Obi's face and then his own. "Crying doesn't mean we are weak, Obi. It gives us the strength to go on." Nikos stood up, leaving Obi to stare upward. "I better get back upstairs. Xanatos wants you to come back up and carry down his luggage."
"He packed himself?" Obi asked, standing up and picking up Nikos's dropped bag.
"Yes. As normal."
"Oh…that's right." Obi dropped the bag next to the door on the way upstairs. Xanatos stood in the hall surrounded by luggage.
"Take this down by the door then go to bed. If you shout as loud as you did earlier I'll take my belt to you." Obi nodded, swallowing. He struggled with the heavy bags but got them downstairs as quickly as possible and went straight to his room, ignoring Cookie's question if he wanted supper.
Obi slipped into the covers, wondering how many times he had gone to bed feeling like this. Alone, hopeless, faithless… The problem was he could no longer count; he didn't want to.
Part 9
Obi washed a pan, his mind far from everything in his world. Cookie chatted quietly with a female servant about the bitter cold weather but Obi paid them no mind. It had been two weeks since Xanatos had released all fury on him. For the next week he spent his days in the bed unless he was desperately needed, nursing bruises and headaches. His head still had a distinct dull throb but he ignored it.
Master Jinn had not returned home. He sent Cookie money for food and the supplies needed for maintaining the large townhouse. There was no note attached besides for what purpose the money served. Obi was giving up hope that his unending monotony and abuse would end by his master's saving. He was on his own.
Obi finished helping with the dishes and decided to see if Xanatos needed anything. He walked the stairs slowly, avoiding the creaky steps. That got on Xanatos's nerves. Obi did all he could to satisfy the young man. He feared his hand. He feared his anger.
The door to the bedroom was opened slightly but Obi still knocked, tensing his body and alerting his senses to any thing that was coming.
"What?" was the only word from Xanatos.
"It's just me, Master." Obi said, showing his face in the door.
"Oh. Come on in here." Obi breathed deeply, entering the room and kneeling where Xanatos sat at the desk. His hands stayed close to his side, his face to the ground. He was becoming subservient by nothing more than instinct. "Lick." Obi jumped and brought his head up to be greeted with a stamp in his face. He did as told and watched Xanatos stick it on the corner of an envelope.
"Why did you come up here? I never called for you."
"I thought you might want something. You never came down for supper, Master."
"Oh, I forgot."
"Would you like something to eat?"
"No."
"Yes, Master," Obi said, not sure if he should go ahead and leave.
"Obi," Xanatos stated, getting his slave's attention. Obi immediately gave his full attention, looking up. It was always a balance of that; looking up and looking down. Xanatos put down the pen he was writing with on the desk and sighed. "My father will be back two days from now. He's been at Lord Sidious's this entire time."
Obi remained silent, assuming Xanatos was going to continue. "I will be leaving before he gets here, taking Nikos with me."
"Will I go with you, Master?"
"No." Obi continued to look upward, lost for thought. "Go back downstairs and wake Nikos up for me."
"Yes, Master."
"Tell him to bring his pillow, he'll be sleeping up here tonight." Xanatos said wearily, picking up his pen once again. Obi simply nodded, shutting the door quietly behind him. Nikos didn't even have a pillow. None of the slaves did.
Going downstairs he still did not know what to think. The special feeling he had when around Master Jinn was ruined, he thought. He left me in the midst of…him Obi thought, immediately looking upstairs, a scowl on his face. He was turning bitter despite warnings to monitor his attitude closely, mostly by Cookie. "You may be a slave, Obi but you can look at it two ways. Either way the world is against you, so you can work towards you in small ways or fight it blindly." Obi had always kept this advice in his head, trying to build his entire approach to life around it.
After abuse, after unfair treatment, and unjust punishments, he could no longer see the use for a positive outlook. It got shattered in the end, one way or another. Might as well tighten and toughen his shell now.
Obi walked through the kitchen, ignoring the looks Cookie threw him. Anymore the Grandmotherly woman annoyed him. He didn't wish to hurt her so he kept his mouth shut. He went beyond the kitchen into his and Nikos' room. He knocked once before entering. Nikos slept lightly on his bed, curled up as tight as possible. "Nikos." Obi shook the older boy's shoulder. He woke immediately. Probably out of training Obi thought.
"Obi? What is it?" Nikos asked urgently, always expecting the worse once woken up.
"Nothing is the matter, so calm down. Master wants you upstairs now. He said to bring your pillow." Nikos' face went from wary to sad acceptance. Then scrunched up. "P-pillow? I don't have a pillow."
"Yes, I know. I do believe that's Master's way of telling you are going to be pleasuring him tonight."
"Oh…yes. Right. Thanks." Obi stood up from the bed, giving his friend a small sideway smile. Obi stretched his arms wide, yawning as he did so.
"You're growing a lot, Obi." Nikos said, changing out of sleep clothes. He looked over his younger friend, admiring the smooth lines of the maturing boy's body.
"Am I really?" Obi asked, looking over his body. "I've always thought I was short and small."
"You are developing muscles. Here, flex," Nikos instructed, squeezing Obi's arm. "I wouldn't call you buff, but you certainly are strong." Obi bit his lip, looking down at his arm.
"I don't know what use muscles will serve me. All I do is follow like a lost puppy and wash pots."
"You lift things too. Think about it. You use to do a lot of lifting. You still do."
"Maybe you're right. Still, I say muscles are no good unless Master decides he wants my ass next." Obi stopped talking, hearing Xanatos's angry voice screaming upstairs. Both slaves looked at each other, wondering what their master was yelling about. "I think I heard your name, Nikos, I'd get up there quickly!" Just then Cookie came running in, her voice red and her voice choppy.
"Nikos! Get up there before he whips us all!" Nikos nodded, running past both of them, bare feet padding quietly. Obi watched the body disappear around the kitchen door. He forgot his pillow Obi thought, finding it amusing that he had some sense of humor left, especially in the given situation.
"These mood swings are going to be the death of me, Obi. He goes from being a polite gentleman, even to me, to a holy terror! I was just up there bringing him tea and he threw a book at me!"
Obi sat down on his mattress, looking at the floor. He was tired of making small talk about things they had no control over. What was the point of complaining? Cookie said it as if she was merely annoyed at the situation. Not despairing, not angry; she said it only to have something to say. Their lives revolved around their betters' moods. Even down to their small talk conversations.
"Obi?" Cookie inquired gently. Obi looked up, his blue-green eyes showing mixed emotions. "Obi, you have been acting so strangely." He could think of nothing to say he so shrugged at her, affixing his look back at the ground. Despite hearing the concern tone in her voice Obi didn't know what to feel.
"Obi, did the young Master say something to you?" Then Obi remembered.
"Oh. Master Jinn is coming home the day after tomorrow. Xanatos is leaving before then and taking Nikos." Obi stared at Cookie once, seeing her eyes take in the information.
"When were you going to tell me this, Obi?" Obi shrugged again, finally feeling like a brat. "Oh you were just going to wait, huh? It's not important in the least, no, of course not…"
"I don't care!" Obi yelled, knowing he was loud enough to be heard through the entire house. "One Master who abuses me, one Master who allows it to happen. I'd rather be dead than care!"
"If you don't lower your voice I'm sure someone will arrange for that!" Obi stood up, walking past Cookie and through the kitchen. She didn't follow him. Maybe that's what he wanted; push Xanatos to his limits so he would be killed by his hands. Shaking his head, Obi sat down on the window seat in the parlor. He was technically allowed in the room, but it was the only place that provided some solitude.
The people on the street fascinated Obi. He wished he could sit and watch people all day and forget about his life. Hearing the steps creak, Obi stood up to investigate. He didn't particularly care if Xanatos found him in here but he still wondered. Instead he saw Nikos, who smiled at him sadly.
"Obi, are you busy? I need to pack quickly…"
"I'll help you." Both walked past Cookie who sat at the kitchen table with scattered papers around her. Obi didn't let himself look over at her; he felt horrible about how he acted earlier. Cookie didn't deserve his bitterness. Only he did, he alone.
Once in the room, Nikos pulled down a bag from a shelf. It was not big but held all of his belongings easily. He put in clean shirts, wraps, and pants. Obi found his shoes and wrapped them in a cloth to keep from getting the clean white clothes soiled. Nikos finished, dropping any sentimental things he had left in the bag.
They sat on the bed in silence, the bag between them. "Obi I don't think we'll be coming back," Nikos said, staring his friend in the face. "I've always looked at you like a brother. You are the closest thing I'll ever have to family. I-I don't know how I'll get along with out you."
Tears sprung up in Obi's eyes but he willed them away. Crying was no use; he had learned that quickly. "You can cry, Obi. I will cry with you."
"Crying serves no purpose but wasting energy." Nikos's eyes narrowed but then softened. He shoved the bag on the floor, scooting over to give Obi a hug.
"Crying does serve a purpose. It's an outlet, Obi. We both need to cry. We carry too much weight, more than anyone should ever be allowed…" Obi shuddered with a sob, gripping Nikos's slim body to his chest. Nikos murmured words into Obi's ear, knowing they didn't make sense. He began to cry quietly, while Obi managed to keep his sobbing quiet but shook with effort.
Finally they pulled apart, both faces red and streaked with tears. Nikos took the corner of the sheet, wiping Obi's face and then his own. "Crying doesn't mean we are weak, Obi. It gives us the strength to go on." Nikos stood up, leaving Obi to stare upward. "I better get back upstairs. Xanatos wants you to come back up and carry down his luggage."
"He packed himself?" Obi asked, standing up and picking up Nikos's dropped bag.
"Yes. As normal."
"Oh…that's right." Obi dropped the bag next to the door on the way upstairs. Xanatos stood in the hall surrounded by luggage.
"Take this down by the door then go to bed. If you shout as loud as you did earlier I'll take my belt to you." Obi nodded, swallowing. He struggled with the heavy bags but got them downstairs as quickly as possible and went straight to his room, ignoring Cookie's question if he wanted supper.
Obi slipped into the covers, wondering how many times he had gone to bed feeling like this. Alone, hopeless, faithless… The problem was he could no longer count; he didn't want to.