Someone Like Me
Chapter 5: Fuujin
I'll make this author's note short for once! ^_^ I'm just so full of ideas lately! Yeay! This is where it gets more romantic… I think… heh. Umm… so enjoy! R&R, you know the rules! ^_^ Thankies! I'm at the end of writing ch. 6 and should get it up tomorrow!
Cry? Me? No, no, no. I won't resort to such a shameful act. Why is he sitting here talking to me... trying to comfort me? I don't understand him... and he does not understand me. I shake me head slowly. To think... he wants to protect me from Seifer. If I cared for that fluff, I might find it sweet... But right now... I don't know what to think of it. No one has ever wanted to protect me from anything before... I only gaze at him in response fearing that the warmth I suddenly feel may fade away.
"I... I saw you and... Seifer... arguing or whatever you want to call it..." Zell finally says. He looks down at his hands, which he nervously rubs and twists around his fingers. He saw me...Did he hear anything? I ask myself fearfully.
"TALKING." I answer. Although, that's not exactly what it was... it was a painful question...
~~~FLASHBACK~~~
"Hey, there you are, Fuji-chan! I was just about to go to your room to check on you! There's something I need to talk to you about," Seifer called as he strode over to me. Just what I need... a talk...
"WHAT."
"I've been thinking a lot lately..." Seifer began as he ran his hand through his short blonde hair. Something he always does, which makes normal girls melt into slimy puddles of girlish ooze. Fortunately, I am no ordinary girl.
"I want to ask Quistis to marry me..." Seifer said quickly. My heart skipped a beat. So soon? They are both still so young! I suppose I still had a fragment of hope that he would never fall in love and never give his heart and soul to any woman.
"R... REPEAT." I answered. He smiled at me. He could see through my shallow attempts.
"You heard me, Fuji-chan. The thing is, though, I... want you to be my best man..." How dare he! Best MAN?? Hadn't he noticed that I am a WOMAN not a man?
"RAGE." I growled and frowned noticeably. Seifer suddenly grabbed my shoulders and held me tight. He brought his face so close to my own that I could feel his breath against my lips as he spoke.
"Please, Fuji-chan. You are my best friend and the closest thing to a family I've ever had and it would mean the world to me if you were there for me. I know you're not a man, but you're all I got... because Raijin isn't capable of it." I turn my face away and nod gently.
"S... Seifer... as much as I disapprove... I will always be here for you... and eventually... I will learn to except it..." I replied calmly. He hugged me close and tight, thanking me happily.
"I'll see ya later, Fuji-chan. Gotta run." Seifer said and with that he hurried off.
~~~END FLASHBACK~~~
And now here I am. On the verge of these retched tears in front of this childish idiot who is strangely concerned for me.
"I... It's all right if you don't want to talk about it, Fuujin... It may be something personal... S... sorry," Zell hesitates as he prepares to stand up. I quickly grab his hand to stop him. What am I doing? He gazes worriedly at me, seeing a tear roll down my cheek. Oh great. Now I'm crying.
"Oh Fuujin... I..." he says sympathetically. I cut him off by throwing myself into his arms and holding him in a tight embrace. I feel him freeze momentarily in utter shock. In an instant, he returned the gesture. Don't let me go... Please, never let me go... I don't want to be alone any more... I come to realize what I have just done and quickly pull away.
"S... SORRY." I say with embarrassment. Avoiding eye contact, I run away. I have to get away from this foreign feeling. This feeling that makes me so unsure and confused. Why am I running away? That's not like me. But I have never experience such a thing. It is frightening... to need someone so bad... And him of all people... No. I don't need anyone but the Posse. Right... I continue running in the direction of my dormitory without looking back.
"Heya, Fuujin! Where ya goin' in such a hurry, ya know," I hear Raijin call. I dart past him not wanting to stop... unable to stop.
I get inside my dormitory and get to my bathroom. I turn on the cold water of the shower and lean against the wall. letting the cold water fall against my clothed body. I slide down the wall with my eyes closed then wrap my arms around my legs.
After a while, my nervous breakdown had finally settled. Since when have I been so weak? I think as I come out of my bathroom wrapped only in my towel. I grab a small hand-carved flute off the top of the dresser and take it to my bed with me. This flute is something not even the Posse knows about. I haven't played it since I was a child when my mother gave it to me. I sit Indian style on my bed and begin to blow smoothly into it, playing a gentle melody of Gaelic origin.
When times were horrible as a child, I would play it to make myself feel better... It doesn't work as well as it used to... When I was young my mind had not yet been corrupted by war and evil and loneliness. My innocence made it possible for me to believe in the magic of the flute's music... but now, I know better. There is no magic... only a song to represent my pain. There is a knock at the door and I quickly cease playing.
"WHO." I ask. I get to my feet and walk over to the door, praying it was not the idiotic SeeD. The last person I want to see right now is Zell... The only person who has ever seen me so vulnerable... My heart skips a beat, startling me.
"It's me. Rinoa. Can I talk to you for a moment, Fuujin?" Rinoa asks. Great, more talking. I crack the door slightly only to see her smiling face. Ug, more sympathy...
"ENTER." I command and widen the door.
"I just... wanted to know if you were coming to the Spring Bash," Rinoa asks me. I think for a moment. Do I look like the type of person who wants to go to a party with a bunch of hormonal couples during Spring? I think not.
"DOUBTFUL." is my reply. Rinoa gives a look of disappointment.
"You should go. I... I think it will be good for you," Rinoa urges, "It will be fun... And the next day, the whole gang's is heading out to Laguna's beach house for a few days. Even Raijin and his girlfriend are coming. So, you have to come." she seemed so hopeful. Why is she pushing me?
"NEGATIVE." I answer without thought. She stands up and walks to me.
"Okay, but... if you change your mind... I'll be here to help you," Rinoa assures with a pat on my shoulder. She turns and leaves. Why does she want to help me so much? She pities me. No... she cares about me. The way a real posse should care for each other...
A week passes and nothing too out of the ordinary happened. Strangely enough, though, I have thought about the Idiotic SeeD all week... For Hyne knows what reason, I also saw him standing outside my classroom a few times this week... He looked as though he was lost in thought or wanted to say something important. But it was now almost 7:30 on the eve of the Spring Bash... not that I care. Thirty minutes from now, hundreds of garden couples will happily be pressing their sweaty bodies against each other to the rhythm of music and try to pass it off as real dancing. Everyone will be there... that is, everyone but me. This wasn't the truth, though, I realize as I feel something tug at my heart. A voice coming from deep within my soul screams a plea to leave my room. Without a second thought, I leave and head down the dormitory hallway towards Rinoa's room.
Please don't be here... I knock on the door and seconds later it opens. To my surprise it is not Rinoa who stands before me. I look around to make sure I have the correct room.
"SQUALL." I say.
"F... Fuujin? What are you doing here?" Squall replies, almost as confused as I was.
"Fuujin! You decided to come! Let her in Squall!" Rinoa cries excitedly. Squall shrugs and lets me enter.
"Mind if I meet you there in a while, Squally-poo?" Rinoa cooed. Gag...
"Girl stuff. Know what I mean? Won't take long. Thankies!" she explains as she pushes him out the door.
"Whatever..." Squall replies as rinoa slams the door on his back.
"I'm so glad you changed your mind, Fuujin. Now let's start by getting you a dress," she exclaims happily. *sigh* I know I'm going to regret this...
It took almost an hour for Rinoa to 'fix me up'. It was the most tortured hour I have ever had in my life. The woman almost poked out my freaking eye, for Hyne's sake. I need that eye! It's my only good one left! RAGE! I believe I used that word numerous times during that hour of torment. I feel like a buffoon. Why do girls do this to themselves?
Rinoa and I walk to the huge auditorium that was decorated with flowers and streamers. I have to admit that Selphie is good at this. It was a little flowery but I suppose that was the point. Rinoa grabs my hand and smiles warmly at me.
"Don't worry. You look great," she assures as she leads me through the crowd. As we pass, others gawk at me. I'm not sure if they were gawking at my change or the fact that I was even there at all. But suddenly, there he was...
teehee extra long fujichan chapter! Yippie!