Fun, fun, silly, willy, AKA: Kiila's
gone! Kiila's gone! Though only for a while.
By Julie and Kiila the Spellsinger
"NO! I don't want to go to Kashyyyk!" Kiila was reading the notice from the studio with much dismay. She'd been back from the hospital for three weeks now, and didn't really want to go anywhere.
"Calm down! It's not so bad. It only for a couple weeks." Julie watched as her friend stormed around the room furiously. Kiila stopped when she pulled a muscle that was still somewhat sore.
The doorbell rang. Julie answered. Kiila fumed. Obi walked in.
"Hi, what's all the screaming about?" Obi looked at Kiila staring at her notice, trying to put holes in it.
"Kiila doesn't want to go where the company wants her to. They want to send her to Kashyyyk next week, but she won't go."
"Oh, ok, I'll tell Maul later. He's not coming over because his master yelled at him for not being Sith-like, so he's sleeping in until noon." Obi cautiously edged his way around Kiila to sit down on the other couch. Kiila looked like she would jump on the next person who said anything to her.
Kiila suddenly calmed down, at least on the outside. "I'm gonna go chop up the stuff for tonight. Since we're having stir-fry, I can relieve tension on the chicken." She went into the kitchen.
Obi and Julie could hear her being very violent towards the chicken. Julie sighed.
Obi looked at his feet. "I guess I'll leave you to calm her down."
"Chicken."
Obi grinned and left.
Maul grimaced as the doorbell rang. He opened it with the Force, since he was trying to be more Sith-like and lazy. Obi poked his head through the crack. Maul was tempted to close it on his head.
"Hi neighbor! Did you know Kiila's leaving next week?"
Maul rolled off the couch. "She is? Why, and where? Wait, I shouldn't care." He banged his head on the table as he stood to get up. My Apprentice screeched as he put more weight on her, as she had been lying on his stomach.
"I know you aren't supposed to care, but she has to go to Kashyyyk tape an episode of the show she's in."
Maul's eyes darted to the cupboard where he'd hidden the tapes of her show. "Oh, well. Guess we have to put up with just Julie for, how long?" He was trying to sound as if he didn't care.
"Gee, you can act like you do care around me, I won't tell anyone. She'll be gone for a three and a half weeks, subject to change." Obi left Maul to ponder this.
"Um, oh well," Maul glanced around. He looked around, and picked up My Apprentice. "Are you going to be mad about her leaving?"
"Meow? Mew."
"Yeah, I thought so. Don't tell Master Sidious, but me too. Okay, so she doesn't give me tidbits of fish, but she's just different."
"Julie! Help! I can't get my suitcase closed!" Kiila was bouncing up and down on her second suitcase, trying to get it closed. Well, it was closed, but she couldn't get to the latches to lock them.
"Coming!" Julie walked in and flicked the latches closed. Kiila got off the suitcase.
"I can't believe the week went that fast."
"I think its cause we were shopping all week. Come on, dinner's ready."
"What is it?"
"Chicken Marsala."
"Oh, wow. You're such a good cook."
The next day, they all went to the spaceport to see her off. Kiila even managed to get Maul to come along.
Word had gotten out about the trip, and there was a huge crowd waiting for the actors and actresses in the show.
Kiila sighed when she saw the crowd. Fortunately, there was a walkway separated for them that was wide enough the crowd wouldn't be able to bother them.
However, the guards were insisting that her friends wouldn't be able to go with her to the port. The four said goodbye, and a two guards carried her baggage for her, as she walked down the aisle, waving to the people, just for show.
Julie, Maul, and Obi went back to their apartments, and took a day to recuperate from the shock of so many people gathered in one place for one show.
Maul was watching bad movies on the TV. Okay, maybe it was his 50th viewing of Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. That was all there was these days. Besides, he had a feeling that his master would show up soon, so he didn't want to watch one of his movies.
"MAUL!"
Maul opened the door for his master using the Force.
"Your apartment is getting filthy."
"Kiila isn't here to make me clean it up. Not that I care."
"I will make you clean it up later. First, I have something for you to do." Sidious had an evil glare on his face. "You will be taking swing dancing lessons. You will need a partner. A female partner."
Maul thought hard. "I guess it'll have to be Julie, I don't know of any other females on this planet that can put up with me."
Sidious raised his eyebrow at that comment. "You start tomorrow."
"Wait, don't I have to ask her first?"
"You are a Sith. Mind-whammy her, if she refuses."
Maul was about to protest, but thought better of it. Sidious left. Maul decided he would go tell Julie now, when she was hopefully not in a mood to kill something.
He rang the doorbell. Julie answered (surprisingly).
"Hi what do you want?"
"My master told me that I would be taking swing dancing lessons, starting tomorrow, and I need a partner…"
"Oh, can I come? I love swing dancing! Wait, swing dancing with you…"
"You will take swing dancing lessons with me!" Maul did a very powerful mind-whammy. Julie couldn't help but agree.
The next day, Maul found out with horror that the instructors were Obi Wan and Qui Gon. To his further horror, Julie waved to Obi.
"Hi, neighbors! I didn't know you guys were taking swing dancing lessons."
"It was his master's idea."
"That figures." Obi shrugged and went back to the front of the classroom.
Maul looked at the other students. They were all Padawans and their Masters, or old people. He screamed internally. Julie looked at him strange. He dropped to the floor in pain. Julie picked him up. The lesson started.
Two hours of swing dancing. Julie barely managed to keep Maul from killing everyone.
Kiila liked doing her own stunts. She performed a back flip off one tree branch and landed on the other, and continued with the mock fight she was doing. Another 'Jedi' came up behind her and caught her arms.
"You won't get away with this, you do know that!" She screamed at the 'Jedi' holding her.
"Yeah sure." He did a 'punch' and 'knocked' her out. Kiila made her body go limp.
"CUT! Kiila, you need to get more vicious. Stop smiling. Smirk, Kiila, smirk."
Julie was watching Maul play Jedi Road Kill to relieve his tension.
"Do you love me?" She decided she would pester him.
"No, go away." He was being very violent toward the game controller, so she decided she go bother Obi instead.
Obi answered the door, and wondered why Julie had come to visit.
"Hi, what's up, Julie?" He asked, sounding puzzled.
"Oh, nothing. Maul's in a bad mood."
"I'm not surprised."
Julie decided to start her new technique of annoyance. "Do you love me?" She half curled against him.
"Um, uh, gee, um." He was very flustered, and was turning very pink.
Cuddles looked very unhappy.
"Um, yeah, I think, yeah!" He finally got an answer out.
Julie stuttered. "Aw, you're such a sweetie. I love you too." She cuddled up against him.
Julie was very surprised at the day's events. As she was trying to sleep, she wondered if Kiila was having as much fun as she was.
Kiila was having a great time. She was sightseeing on Kashyyyk, and she was going around with some of her friends from the show. She sighed and wondered what Julie, Maul, and Obi were doing. She regretted that thought a second later when a bad picture popped into her head.
She went back to her hotel room, washed up, and went to bed.
Julie awoke to a noise she hadn't heard this early in the morning. It was the doorbell. She tried desperately to drown out the sound with a pillow tight over her head, but their persistence finally caused her to get up and answer the door. She pulled her robe on tightly over her PJ's, as she answered it to see Obi Wan in his infamous boxers.
"Hi, I-" Obi was interrupted
"PUT SOME PANTS ON!"
Obi ran back to his room. By this time, Maul who had stuck his head of his door, to see what Julie was screaming about, got a glance of his twit of a neighbor running into his apartment with only his boxers and quickly out, pulling up a pair of pants and tying them. Maul slammed his door shut again in Sithly anger, but still held his ear to the door.
"Is that better?" Obi asked meagerly.
"Yeah, kind of. It doesn't excuse you for coming over this early. What are you so worried about?" Julie replied as she rubbed her eyes.
"Well, it has to do with yesterday… Qui Gon kind of…came over after and wanted to know what we were talking about. Soooo…I told him; he isn't pleased."
Obi started to wring his hands, as Julie put her hand on his bare arm, "He's just jealous, Obi. Maybe he sees there's something there and doesn't want to lose you. But Obi…" Julie continued into a puppy eyes and small voice, "After talking with you lately, I can just sense it. You're not…gay (she held a clear notation of the word). I'm sure most Master's and Padawans have relationships sexually. However, that doesn't mean you can't like women instead.
"Remember yesterday, when you said you loved me? Why don't you go back and try to explain to Qui Gon; I'm sure he'll understand. Please? For me?"
Julie started to play with Obi's braid. How could he resist?
"Okay, I can do that. I-I think…" Obi stuttered, "I-I mean, yes I do love you! A-And Qui Gon needs to realize that. I'm a grown man and soon to be Jedi… I can decide if I want to be straight or not, not him! Okay. I'll go tell him." Obi left with confidence.
Within a few minutes, she could hear shouting from within Obi's apartment.
It made her ill to think that Qui Gon and Obi had shared that night together…but maybe from now on she'd have him. Hmmm, she thought.
Qui Gon came storming out of the apartment and straight up to Julie.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Qui Gon, for once, shouted. He was also only wearing his boxers.
"EWWWW! OLD GUY WINKY!" Julie screamed and covered her eyes.
As Julie yelled, Obi Wan threw Qui Gon's clothes over his head.
"No more, Master. I'll be your Padawan but not your lover anymore!" He then smacked Qui Gon over the head, and told him to beat it. Qui Gon left quickly, whimpering. Obi heard a voice inside his mind.
//Embrace the dark side, Obi. Kick his hippie ass. //
VSHOOOOMMMMM!
Obi barely missed Maul with his lightsaber, who ducked inside at the last second, smirking like a Sith. Maul thought to himself, Qui Gon, a Master, screaming, and angry at that girl? Also, Obi defending her, hitting his own Master, and trying to kill me. Hmmm, hope for them yet…
My Apprentice bucked up against Maul's legs interrupting his own train of thought, into getting his kitty a can of tuna.
Obi Wan stood in front of Julie with his lightsaber ignited (no, no, no… the blue lightsaber! Not his…. You dirty minded perverts). She was leaning against the door frame mouth dropped in awe.
VSHOOOOMMMMM!
His lightsaber resigned, and he tucked it into the belt loop of his pants, which was all he was wearing at this point. He walked forward, mumbling in his mind how horrible he had acted, and how he let the dark force take so much control of him. He looked up, and saw it was worth it. Obi Wan grabbed Julie's waist and pushed his lips forcefully onto hers. They stepped inside and locked the door.
"Ow, you're hamster bit me!"
Obi threw Cuddles out into the hall. Cuddles stormed back to Obi's apartment and waited.
Obi and Julie resumed making out.
Somewhere else in the universe, someone by the name of Bobby Fisher was picking his nose. "Yes, now!"
Kiila came back three days early to find Julie and Obi on the couch, close to naked. She dropped her bags in the doorway, and made a quick sentence about going to Maul's place.
"What's up Kiila? Wait, you're back early."
"JulieandObiareamakingoutinmyapartmentandwefininshedthetapingearlysoI'mback."
"Ok, whatever. I don't understand what you said but you can come in anyway."
Kiila came into his apartment and sat down on the couch next to him. He just sat there. They both sat there.
Maul was desperately trying to think of something to say.
"So how were things while I was away?" Kiila looked at him expectantly.
"Um, just fine. Sidious made me take swing dancing lessons."
"Oh, really. Will you show me the steps? I know swing dancing."
"Um. No. I almost killed everyone and I don't remember anything."
"Shame on you! Clean your apartment!" Kiila sat on the couch while he cleaned the apartment.
When he finished cleaning the apartment, he sat down on the couch, panting. "Want dinner?"
"Let's go out somewhere."
They went off to the Chef Sith restaurant. Maul had never been here because he was never able to pay. Kiila could pay.
The restaurant was decorated mostly in black. The curtains were red, trim was red, and the tablecloths were red. There were some paintings of dead Jedi on the walls, with the name of the Jedi and the person that killed them underneath. Kiila and Maul had a booth under a painting of a Halcyon, one of the Corellian Jedi. The name of the Halcyon and the Anzati that killed him were slightly scratched.
They ordered their meals, carefully choosing from the list of items. It was such a long list. They both tried the special, a Tw'liek dish of mynock, with some exotic vegetables on the side. It was delicious. They chose a dessert that was made for two people, a version on Death by Chocolate. They paid the bill, and left rather quickly. The interior decorations were getting Kiila a little edgy, not to mention the feelings the other patrons emanated. They were very surprised that no one had bothered them for Kiila's autograph. When they went home, Kiila searched her apartment, but the only trace of Julie was a note saying she'd be at Obi's place. Kiila moved her stuff into the bedroom, and she and Maul talked for a while, about nothing in particular, until Maul got tired and went home. Kiila decided he had a good idea, and went to bed.
When Kiila woke up the next morning, she was surprised to see Julie also asleep in Julie's bed. Kiila walked over to check on her, and was not surprised to see her in PJ's that didn't seem like the kind Julie wore. She wasn't sure why she wasn't surprised.
Kiila left the bedroom, and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Since today was one of three off-days to recover from Kashyyyk, she felt bad about not sleeping in. She ate her breakfast in peace, for once, and found the weather report on TV.
"Today, we expect showers, with scattered thunderstorms, and some light to moderate winds accompanying them." The weatherman was not an actual meteorologist. He was also a bad actor. Kiila turned it off as soon as she got the full report.
"What was that, Kii?" Julie walked out of the bedroom, still wearing the wrong PJ's.
"Just a weather report. It's rain and thunderstorms for today, and wind to go with it. Did you know that you're wearing someone else's PJ's?"
Julie looked down. "Oops!" She went back in her room to look for her PJ's. She didn't find them. The doorbell rang. Julie came back out carrying the other PJ's (and wearing clothes) just as Obi handed in Julie's actual PJ's. He took his back and left.
Kiila looked at Julie. "I don't want to know. Don't tell me. Please don't. I just ate breakfast." Kiila went into the bedroom to change into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt.
Today would be a lousy day. It was hot, and it was going to rain. Bad combination of weather. Julie loved it.
"We can stay inside and play dirty games with guys! Right, don't you want to do that? Kiila, why are you banging your head against the wall?" Julie was very perky. "If there's a thunderstorm, we can pretend like we're scared and sneak in some snuggling with the guys. Stop that, you'll put a hole in the sofa."
"Shut up! I'm staying right here today! You know how bad hot rainy days are for me! So don't bother me and go make out with Obi again!" Kiila plopped down on the couch and channel surfed for a while. "See? Bad stuff is already happening! There's nothing on but infomercials!"
Maul reveled in it. He loved infomercials. There's always all kinds of neat stuff. As he flipped through the channels, he despaired. There was only one infomercial being played on all the channels. He turned it off, and sulked on the couch instead. He didn't want to watch the QSR infomercial. He'd seen it fifty times already.
It was a very large storm. Julie and Obi didn't notice it. Kiila and Maul did. Kiila noticed when a branch off one of the trees she'd fallen into smacked into the balcony doors. Maul noticed it because he was on his balcony when the storm started, and saw the branch hit Kiila's balcony doors. He decided that he would go over to her apartment. He didn't know why yet, but he did.
"Hi, what's up, Maul?" Kiila let him in. She wondered why he was here. So did he.
"Um, nothing. Are the doors to your balcony…"
"They're fine. How did you know?"
"I saw it from my balcony."
"That explains why you're wet."
Maul looked down at himself. She had been right, he was dripping wet. "Oops. Sorry. I'll be back in a minute." He went back to his apartment to dry off, and change into some dry clothes.
Kiila laughed softly to herself. It wasn't turning out so bad today. Maybe Julie was right. Today could be fun. Something else hit the balcony doors. This time it wasn't a branch. It was a person. It was waving to her to be let in. She let him in. It was Mark. He collapsed on the ground panting, and she backed away from him.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. I don't want to anymore. Steve was paying us to do that. Otherwise, we wouldn't have hung around him. Duane and I want to be friends again." Mark managed to say this very slowly, since he was still gasping for breath.
Kiila got him a towel. "We can be friends. I'm not sure what Julie will say, but it's okay with me."
Maul came back in. "What's he doing here? I thought he was in jail."
"We had a shortened sentence when we told them we were paid to do it." Mark had regained his breath by now, and stood up. "I'd better go now. Can't stay in one place very long before it gets boring. You'll tell Julie, right?"
"Yeah. See you."
Mark left through the door, exchanging smirks with Maul before disappearing to the elevator.
"That was unexpected, wasn't it?" Maul looked at Kiila as she shrugged.
Somewhere in the universe, a group of Velociraptors looked up from their meal and said, "Chocolate!"
Maul had gone back to his apartment after they finished watching the movie Kiila had found. Kiila decided to take a shower, and started singing.
"That first moment,
We shared a glance,
At one another,
A scent of a feeling was in the
air,
Of a very familiar smile.
A very strange,
A strong power,
Calls out to you,
The meaning of this chance meeting,
Can't you notice any sooner?
Under the wide and open sky,
An endless search continues for
Those hot and burning eyes that
are yours.
This fate, to be so very beautiful,
The tears I cry are made to shine,
Shine as bright as ever before.
There will be,
Memories that will come and hold
me down,
But I'll never look,
Back at what's in the past,
Was the feeling that I felt..."
"Kiila, shut up already! Do you have to sing in the shower?" Julie was back.
Life would go on, as sane as ever. Normality sucks. Kiila dried off and got into her PJ's. She went out to see Julie sitting on the couch by herself.
"Tomorrow's gonna be a beautiful day. Stupid weather man." Julie knew she'd feel obligated to go outside the apartment. Either that, or Kiila would make her. Julie dug under the cushions for her pack of cigarettes. Kiila caught the pack just as it appeared out from under the cushion.
"You don't want these. Remember what happened last time? I had to tie you to the couch and throw out all the packs until you calmed down enough to not want anymore." She threw the pack off the balcony. Bobby Fisher picked them up as though they were a gift from the Heavens.
Julie went to bed. Kiila sighed and got out something to drink.
Julie and Obi were walking through the alleyways looking for Mark, when they stumbled across a really neat-looking lamp. It was about 3 feet tall, and had a one and a half foot tall red shade on it. It had a black fringe off the top edge of the shade that went the whole length of the shade. The base was a dull brass polish with some streaks of silver swirling around it. Obi picked it up.
"You want this?" He asked her.
"Yes! It's so cool! Kiila will love it too!"
They walked back with the lamp.
A small figure at the top of the alleyway smiled and left.
"It's, lovely. Um, are you sure you want that, Julie?" Kiila was eyeing the lamp.
"Yes! I want it in the bedroom! No, over here, I want it here!" Julie pointed to a table.
"I don't think it will go on a table. It's too tall." Obi was panting from carrying the lamp.
Julie moved the table. "Now put it there."
He put it down.
"Perfect!" Julie was pleased with the lamp. She hugged Obi in delight. Obi blushed.
"Great. Now, what will we do with the table?" Kiila picked the table up.
"Um…"
After rearranging the furniture in their apartment twice, Kiila and Obi were extremely tired, and Julie was still happy about the lamp. Julie hadn't done any of the furniture moving.
"Let's play Twister! We can get Maul, too!" Julie practically jumped off the couch when she thought of the idea. Kiila dropped onto the floor, and Obi's head rolled backwards and his tongue flopped out. Julie practically bounced out the door, and came back in dragging Maul with her.
"We're all gonna play Twister, right? Kiila? Why are you on the floor? Look! She's all ready!" Julie ran into the bedroom and got the game. "Who are the teams? I know! We'll have a guys vs. girls games! I'll go against Obi, and Kiila can go against Maul."
"Isn't Obi on the wrong team then?" Maul had the box thrown at his head. He smirked.
"Not from what I found out yesterday." She smirked back.
"Um, I'm not going to ask." Maul shrank back into the corner, as far from the evil box as he could get.
Julie and Obi went. Kiila called the positions.
"Left hand red. Right foot blue. Left foot green. Right hand green."
Nothing too hard yet. Maul took a turn at calling.
"Right foot yellow. Left hand yellow. Right hand yellow. Left foot green."
Strange positions were forming on the mat. There were just enough spaces for the limbs on yellow, but they weren't all in three consecutive dots. It alternated, Julie, Obi, Julie, Obi, Julie, Obi. Kiila resumed calling.
"Left foot red. Right hand yellow. Left foot blue, oh dear, they've fallen. Obi loses."
Julie had fallen on top of Obi. He had accidentally hit her leg, which caused both of them to lose their balance.
Kiila and Maul reluctantly stepped up to the mat, and dragged Julie and Obi off it. Obi was about to start calling, when Julie had another idea.
"What are the stakes for two out of three?"
Obi, Kiila, and Maul looked at each other in horror. "Money?" Maul suggested hopefully.
"The losers have to dress up in the outfit of the winner's choice and cook dinner for the winners."
Maul decided he would win. He didn't realize that Kiila was even more determined to win than he was. Obi figured he'd better start winning, since he couldn't cook. Julie decided she wouldn't win, since her cooking was better than Obi's cooking. She'd seen his kitchen, and had been in pain at the sight.
Julie started calling for Kii and Maul.
"Right hand blue. Left foot red. Right hand green. Right hand blue."
Boring. Not at all hard positions. Obi took a turn at calling.
"Left hand yellow. Left foot green. Right foot green. Right foot yellow."
Somewhat difficult, but not too awkward. Julie called.
"Left hand yellow. Right foot green. Right hand blue. Right hand yellow. Left hand blue. Left hand yellow. Right foot red. Left foot red. Left foot green. Oh, that did it."
Maul had fallen, and had upset Kiila's balance as well. However, Maul hit the ground first.
"Maul lost!" Obi was starting to laugh, but was cut off by a glare from Maul.
"I'll call for you two." Maul sat down with an evil grin at the wheel.
Julie and Obi stepped up to the mat.
"Right hand red. Left foot yellow. Right foot green. Left hand red. Left foot red." Maul snickered as Julie fell, not being able to stretch the whole way from red to green. Obi helped Julie up, and picked up the wheel to call for Maul and Kii.
"Right hand yellow. Left foot green."
Maul got a good view of Kiila's butt.
"Left hand red. Right foot blue." It looked like a strange dance step. "Right hand green. Left hand green." They were bent over backwards in their attempts to get the positioning right. "Right foot red." Maul managed to make the stretch fast enough so he didn't upset his balance. Kiila didn't make it. She fell over backward and hit Maul down.
Julie and Obi stepped up to the mat after Kiila and Maul got out of the way. "You know, whoever loses has to dress up in a silly costume and make dinner." Julie winked at him as she said this.
"Right hand blue. Left hand green. Right foot red. Left foot yellow. Right hand red. Left hand blue." Julie fell down. Obi stood to help her up.
"Too bad, Julie." Obi winked, and Julie winked back.
Maul made puking motions at Kiila, and she nodded in agreement. They stepped up to the mat.
"Right foot yellow. Left hand green. Right hand blue. Left foot blue. Left foot yellow." Maul was having a few problems, but Kiila was doing fine. "Right foot green. Well, Kiila wins." Maul fell over backwards onto the carpet. Kiila smirked at him. Maul grimaced.
"Can we play another game now? How about poker?" Julie seemed in the mood for games.
"No, we're doing dinner now. You two will do your dirty stuff in Obi's apartment. We'll go to Maul's apartment." Kiila dragged Maul out of the apartment.
Obi was digging through a pile of costumes. Julie waited patiently in the main room. He brought out a pair of leather spike heels, fishnet tights, a leather mini skirt, and a leather brassiere.
"I'm not even going to ask why you have that." Julie took the costume into the bathroom and changed. She worried that everything fit, except the tights. They were too big. She leaned out. "Do you have another pair, these are too big for me?" He brought another pair. They fit. She walked out. "Good?" Obi nearly passed out.
"Nice. Um, real nice."
Julie went into the kitchen and screamed. "What in the hell is all this stuff? Why is it pink? It looks like rice!" She walked out of the kitchen. "Do you have a coat I can borrow? I need to go back to my apartment and get some stuff that's actually food."
He handed her a coat. She was back in five minutes with enough stuff for the two of them. She carried it into the kitchen and pulled the coat off. Obi sat at the door and watched as she started preparing the meal of a lifetime. At least for Obi it would be.
Kiila dug through a pile of her left over costumes from different shows. She grinned as she saw what she'd been looking for. She handed Maul a purple tutu, blue leotard, and purple tights. He grimaced.
"You're sure you don't mind me ruining this costume?" Maul asked as they walked over to his apartment.
"Yeah, it's okay. I never liked that costume anyway. I figured this was a perfect opportunity to ruin it so I can throw it out without feeling bad." She winked at him.
He changed into the costume, and noticed his tattoo showed through the tights. He grimaced again, and walked out of the bedroom.
"Ooooo, nice." Kiila was sitting on a chair next to the door to the kitchen. She waved her hand at the kitchen door for him to enter. As he walked past, she pinched his rear. As if it wasn't pinched enough in the tights. She watched as he prepared an elaborate dinner for the two of them.
Julie had prepared eggplant-parmesan, salad, and chocolate mousse. They ate in relative silence, considering that all Obi said was praising Julie's cooking and saying it was the best meal he'd ever eaten.
They then proceeded to wedge Julie out of the tight leather outfit. She was rather sweaty, and so was he, after the ordeal in getting her out of the costume. Therefore, they took a shower. Together.
By the end of the meal, Maul was feeling extra stupid. He'd put several holes in the costume, and was desperately wishing he hadn't agreed to the stakes. Kiila reassured him she'd make it up to him. He wondered how.
"Well, I guess we'd better get you out of that, shouldn't we?" Kiila had a strange glint in her eye.
"Um, wait. We? What does that mean?"
Kiila laughed maniacally. Maul realized what she meant, and smirked. It would be a good night.
That night, Maul discovered what a good singer Kiila was, as well as a few other things she was good at, too. She'd sung the strangest song, it was so haunting.
"The evening sun now blazes down
Like it's melting into the quiet
sea
This view I see with you
I will brand into myself.
The wind comes once more
That way is dangerous
The ones who can protect from
the
Enemies outside
Are you and I
I want to thank fate
That you and I could meet
Breaking the false silence
Together we'll win back
true
Peace
Everyone is alone in the world
Life, a continual solitary journey
That's what I thought
Until the day you arrived.
No matter how your wounds hurt
you,
You won't depend on anyone
Always true to your own feelings
I want to be with you
I won't regret it
'Cause we walked this path together
Before love was born, beneath
the stars
We were destined to be soldiers
I want to thank fate
That you and I could meet
Breaking the false silence
Together we'll win back
true
Peace."
They'd gone to bed after that.
Qui Gon came back to Obi's apartment the next day. He got really mad when he saw Julie there.
"What are you doing, Padawan?" He was furious. However, he did not yet know that Cuddles had actually taken a liking to Julie. Cuddles had been allowed to try some of the dinner she had cooked, and he liked it.
Cuddles leapt on Qui Gon and started attacking him, to show he wasn't welcome anymore. Qui Gon tossed Cuddles at Julie and ran out the door, before the hamster could attack again. Julie started stroking Cuddles and telling him how cute he was, and how soft his fur is, and all that stuff that Obi usually says.
Kiila was back in her apartment again that day. She was somewhat surprised to not see Julie there as well. Then again, Julie and Obi really had a habit of going at it these days. She laughed softly to herself. Was that the way she and Maul would end up? She made herself some breakfast and decided she'd make sure it wasn't. That kind of thing would probably get boring for them after a while. Then again, that would make it interesting, to see what they'd do afterwards. She laughed louder. Then she laughed maniacally.
Julie walked in. "What's so funny?"
"Oh, nothing, just thinking."
"Yeah, right, bitch."
Kiila made a face at Julie. Julie stalked into the bedroom. Kii ignored her and finished her breakfast.
Maul woke up to the fact that Kiila was no longer in bed with him. He wondered when she'd left, when he heard his master calling. He got out of bed and pulled on some pants. He grabbed his 'Sith Kicks Ass' T-shirt on the way out of the bedroom. He flopped on the couch and opened the door using the Force.
"Maul. You are terrible. What are you doing, watching the TV while it's not on?" Sidious glared at his apprentice for the obvious attempt to make him think Maul had been awake for a while. "Now then, I have something for you to do."
"Go away. I'm tired."
"And what were you doing last night that made you so tired?"
"We played Twister™. I lost."
"Played Twister™? With who?"
"Neighbors. I was paired against Kiila."
"And the stakes were…?"
"Stakes? We didn't play for anything." Maul desperately tried to hide that he was lying.
"Really. What's this?" Sidious pulled the tutu and the tights out of the garbage can.
Maul stuck his head under the cushions to hide. It didn't work.
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU ACTUALLY DOING LAST NIGHT? I will be back later with something else for you to do. What I had this time wasn't a good enough punishment for you." Sidious stormed out, after hiding the tutu and tights in his robes.
After Sidious left, Maul ran back into his bedroom and went back to bed, hoping to escape whatever horror his master would come up with.
Kiila and Julie looked at each other as they heard Sidious yelling.
"That didn't sound good. Maybe we should try to get him out of it by telling him whose fault it really was." Kiila looked pointedly at Julie.
"Hey, I'm not taking the blame. He lost, that's all. It's his fault for losing."
"Yeah, well it was your idea to play it in the first place. Plus, you dragged him over here. Oh, well, at least it wasn't as bad as strip poker would have been." Kiila started laughing. Julie blinked, and joined her.
Havoc crawled into Kiila's lap and looked up at her.
"Aw, is Havoc hungry? I'll bet you are." Kiila picked up the armadillo and carried her into the kitchen.
Julie was cleaning up the neglected mess from the Twister™ game, and Kiila was starting a dinner that would take all day to cook at a low temperature. The doorbell rang. Julie answered it. It was Mark.
"Mark!" Julie was so happy to see him without having to worry about him trying to kill her.
"I see you liked the lamp I left for you guys." Mark looked at the Twister™ box on the floor, and figured he'd better not ask.
"You left that? Thanks! We love it so much. Right, Kii?"
"Yeah, sure whatever." Kiila was just coming out of the kitchen. "Did you have to make us rearrange the furniture twice to get it in?"
Mark smirked. "I didn't think it would take that much effort to find a place for one lamp."
"Julie is a perfectionist. She takes design too literally." Kiila walked back into the kitchen to finish the dinner.
"Well, I'd better go. I get edgy staying in one place too long. I'll stop in some other time." Mark disappeared into the elevator before Julie could say another word.
Maul could vaguely hear the doorbell ring. He probed with his mind. It was Obi. Maul answered the door.
"Hey neighbor, the girls wanted to know if we wanted to go out today. Do you?"
Maul viewed this as the perfect opportunity to get away from his master. "Yeah. Tell them I'd love to come." He smirked. "Where were they thinking of going?"
"I didn't ask. I forgot to."
"You don't know! And you agreed?"
"I said I'd go if you did. It seemed like a good idea at the time." Obi started staring at his feet.
"Oh well, it will have to be better than waiting around for my master to come with punishment."
They went to the northern pole of Coruscant for the rest of the day. It was a nice area of ice and snow.
Snowball fights were imminent. It was an all out brawl, and the girls were winning. Obi didn't have the heart to hit them.
"You stupid pansy! Why won't you hit them?" Maul had started beating up on Obi. He was knocked down by a flying tackle from Kiila. Julie tackled Obi.
"Now that we're all getting along nicely," Kiila announced to the rest of them from her position of sitting on Maul. "I think we should use the snow-speeder bikes we rented and have a race or two."
"That sounds like a great idea!" Obi was trying to pry Julie off him with out hurting her.
Maul tossed Kiila into a nearby snow bank, which she immediately leapt out of and tossed him into, making a larger hole than she did. He stood up dizzily, and walked back over to the others. He stared at Kiila. She looked somewhat blurry.
"Oh good, this means I get to drive since your not feeling well." Maul fell over when Kiila said that.
"Me versus her. I'm scared." Obi looked at the speeders.
"I could drive." Julie was disappointed when Obi shook his head at her.
They mounted the bikes. Julie sat behind Obi, and gripped him rather tightly. She knew how Kiila drove, and how Obi would have to drive to keep up with her. Maul held on to Kiila who gripped the handlebars with vengeance.
"Maul, you may want to hang on a little tighter. I drive pretty fast."
"Yeah, sure. I'll be okay."
"If you insist. Julie, be a dear and start the countdown."
"Start your engines!" They did so. "Get ready. Five, four, three, two, one. Go!"
They started flying across the snow. Maul immediately grabbed Kiila tighter. Kiila was about ten meters in front of Obi. She had reflexes honed from years of racing, and had gotten the start a split second before he did. As she looked forward, she saw a canyon through the mountain range. It was narrow. It looked like fun.
She powered toward it. Obi saw what she was doing, and thought she was nuts. He followed anyway. Julie gripped him tighter, and she buried her face in his cloak.
Maul was not having a good time of it. He was hanging on for dear life, and being totally frightened since Kiila was laughing like a maniac. He saw the canyon ahead and resisted screaming.
Kiila reached the canyon long before Obi did. She powered through the first hairpin turn, and Maul grabbed a bad thing to hang onto. She elbowed him in the head and got him to let go. There were spikes in the canyon ahead. They glittered in the sun. She zigzagged through the ice spikes, and came out the other side just as Obi got to them. He had no idea which route she'd taken, so he got through as fast as possible, and caught a glimpse of Maul's cape disappearing around the next corner.
The corner was actually a U-turn, and Kiila pulled it very tight. She didn't slow for the corner. Maul was hanging on very tightly. Kiila zoomed up over the largest boulder, and came crashing down on the other side, sending up a spray of snow that looked like a rainbow to Obi and Julie. This sort of thing was an art to Kiila.
She sped out of the canyon on the other side. There was a series of small hills ahead of her. Slalom time. She grinned. She hopped over each hill, sending up small sprays of snow. Maul, gripping Kiila's waist, looked back to see Obi mimicking her moves perfectly, but not quite managing the sprays of snow to be so artistic.
He looked forward and saw a small orange parka with brown fur around the face. Kiila ran over it. They heard a shout from behind them.
"OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED KENNY! WAIT! IT'S JUST YODA!"
Kiila shrugged and hurried on. She saw a large boulder in the distance, and decided that would be the finish. She waved the signal to Julie.
"That boulder's the finish!" Julie yelled to Obi.
"You mean we didn't have a set course?"
"Why would we have a set course?"
Obi watched the speeder bike in front of him perform a large hop over the last hill and send up a huge spray of snow. He tried to do the same, but it didn't quite work. Julie grabbed him tighter halfway through the maneuver, and he was sent flying off to the side. Kiila and Maul made it to the rock before Obi managed to correct his course. There was a very tall person, taller than Qui Gon, hugging the rock. Maul kicked his ass.
"Who was that?" Julie stepped off the speeder bike and dropped to the ground to recover from the trip.
"Fred the Wonder Dog."
"I thought we lost him when we lost Steve."
"We didn't actually lose Steve. He found us, remember. Don't worry, Maul kicked his ass."
"Oh, good. I wonder why he was hugging the rock."
"I don't want to know." Obi had also collapsed onto the ground, and was now shoving his head in the snow to wash the sweat off.
Maul was laying face up in the snow with his arms and legs straight up, as though he was playing dead. Kiila was walking around, as she was the only one that could still stand.
"Where did you learn to drive like that?" Obi looked up at her.
"Oh, here and there. It's such an art, and so much fun!" Kiila looked at one particular point on the rock, and decided it would be a bad idea to point out what it was, and why Fred the Wonder Dog had been hugging it. She walked over to her speeder bike and leaned against it.
"When we go back, do we have to drive as fast?" Julie looked up at Kiila with pleading eyes.
"Only if you want to. I don't care. I had my fun." She grinned, flopped down in the snow, and started to make a snow angel. Maul saw what she was doing, and mimicked it. He stood up, a little shaky still, and looked at it. Kiila looked at it, too. She stepped into it, very carefully, and took the indentations of his horns and made them show up a little more. Julie looked at it and started giggling. Obi just stared blankly. Kiila let out a burst of plain old laughter. Maul made the horns even bigger and started snickering.
Julie stood up and started making a ball out of the snow. Obi helped her make it larger and larger. Kiila and Maul started making a smaller ball, and when Obi and Julie finished the first ball, they started on the last. They put it all together, a pile of snow from largest to smallest on the top. Kiila stuck her fingers into the top ball to make eyes, a nose, and a mouth. They looked at their work, climbed on the speeders, and took a relaxing drive back; the people who hadn't driven before were driving now.
They returned to Kiila and Julie's apartment to a warm dinner of nerf in a nice brown sauce with noodles.
Maul and Obi returned to their respective apartments, and everyone got a good night's sleep, by themselves, for once.
Kiila had to go back to work the next day, so Julie spent the day at Obi's apartment.
Maul was tortured for the Twister™ game and for not being there the previous day when Sidious had come.
Julie and Obi had lots of fun. They were the only ones that did that day.
When Julie finally came home, she'd expected to find Kiila on the couch asking for dinner, but she wasn't there. Kiila had come home, eaten a small dinner she'd made herself, and gone straight to bed. Julie sighed, made herself some dinner, ate it, and went back to Obi's with her PJ's to spend the night. It seemed like a good idea. Obi liked it, too.
Kiila woke up, and didn't even worry when Julie was nowhere to be found in the apartment. She made herself some breakfast and left before Julie could turn up and bother her.
Maul was in pain. He didn't even get out of bed when his master started calling for him. Unfortunately, My Apprentice let Sidious in.
"What do you think you're doing? You are so lazy! Get up." Sidious was floating in the air over Maul's bed. He kicked Maul.
Maul just groaned. He didn't say anything.
Sidious got even angrier. He lit Maul's sheets on fire, and left.
Maul jumped up, grabbed his sheets, and dunked them in the toilet to put the fire out. He then tossed the sheets in the laundry basket, ran a nice hot bath, and slept in the bathtub instead of his bed.
Kiila came home, dumped her stuff on the couch in the main room, and stumbled over to Maul's apartment. When he didn't answer the door, she went back to her apartment, took a nice warm bath, and went to bed. She'd had a rough day, again.
Kiila came back the next day feeling extremely cheerful. She was ready to burst. She looked around for Julie, but, as usual, Julie was at Obi's apartment. Kiila decided she would tell Maul.
"Hi, what's up?"
"I don't have to work for the next two weeks! Isn't that great?" She walked into his apartment and plopped onto his couch. She beckoned Maul to sit next to her.
"And what does this mean, Kii?" Maul asked apprehensively.
She pulled him close and kissed him. He kissed back. It progressed from there.
Julie came back to her apartment to find Kiila's stuff thrown on the sofa and a quickly written note that she would be at Maul's place. There was also something very messily written about a paid vacation for two weeks to some planet or other. Julie couldn't read the whole thing, but she could tell that it would be for some guests Kiila might like to take, the maximum being 5. Julie looked again. She still couldn't exactly read the planet. It was probably a luxury planet of some kind. Julie ran back to Obi's to tell him, but stopped in front of Maul's door. She put her ear to it. Then she rang the doorbell.
Maul answered. "Yes?"
"Is Kiila here? Of course she is! Can I talk to her?"
"THE PLANET IS ACTUALLY THE MOON ALAKATHA!" Kiila's voice floated out of the apartment.
"Thanks!"
Julie walked over to Obi's place and told him. He got so excited that he danced her around the room and they started making out.
Somewhere in the universe, Bobby Fisher looked up at the Heavens, wished for another pack of cigarettes, and said "Hi-yo!"
They left the next day, after they actually managed to pack. They spent two weeks in total bliss, being waited on hand and foot.
Although it was a great joy, and some of the other actors from the show
were being extremely personable, even complaining about their personality
problems, they were almost glad when it was over. They were almost
glad to return to their normal way of life.
Kiila's comments: Julie, help more! She doesn't do the major problems, just details. Um, the songs are the English translations of two Japanese songs. The site I got the actual songs from is down right now. They don't belong to me. I can't tell you where they actually are from cause Julie will kill me. She hates that kind of stuff. I'm surprised she even lets me put them in. Anyway, feedback is welcome, write to me at Lilicat@aol.com and make sure you put 'Story' in the title. Otherwise, I'll delete it. And don't send me viruses or I'll get Julie's dog to smack you around for a while.
Julie's comments: