DIARY SERIES (3/?)
AUTHOR: CORRAN
RATING: PG-13
CATEGORY: MSR, UST, a little angst, cancer
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: GOSSAMER; CHRONICLE X; SPOOKY´S;
XEMPLARY; EPHEMERAL
ALL OTHERS PLEASE ASK FIRST
FEEDBACK: hell, YES! Starfish666@email.com
SPOILERS: EPISODES UP TO REDUX II
SUMMARY: while Scully fights her cancer Mulder is allowed to read her journals
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. They belong to CC, 1013 and Fox.
But I think David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson own them as well.
AUTOR´S NOTES: this is my second long story. I started this when I was a little
depressed after watching Redux I and II again. I promise I'll write some more parts
when I'm in the right mood again, okay?
HOMEPAGE: http://www.geocities.com/corran_14776/index.html
PART 3
The Jersey Devil, my ass. That´s gross, even for Mulder.
How can he believe that such things exist? It´s like believing in fairy-tales. I mean,
the man is intelligent, a genius. Why does he believe the stories that some tramps tell
him but never accepts any of my explanations?
I know it´s ridiculous to expect him to be more like... like me. I don´t even want to
change him. I like who he is. Perhaps it´s me who needs to change, to be more open
to extreme possibilities...
But sometimes it would be nice if he wouldn´t dismiss me so easily.
Well, at least I had some fun at Trent´s birthday party while Mulder trudged through
the woods.
I love kids, but like I said to Ellen there´s simply no time at the moment, let alone a
man in my life. Ellen hit the nail on it´s head, as always. First I have to get a life.
But what kind of life would that be? Without the X-Files, without Mulder? If that´s what
a normal life would be like...Thank you very much. Without me.
I got a glimpse of this so called "normal" life when I went out with what-was-his-name?
Rob? Well, he was.. nice, for an hour or so but a whole life like that? Boooring. I didn´t
even know what to talk about with him.
Mulder and I always have something to talk about.
Mulder. The current "man in my life". I never should have told Ellen about him. I knew
she would tease me mercilessly.
Why had she to bring up his name in our conversation about kids? Hell, I couldn´t even
see me with a child. At least not in the next one or two years. That would terminate my
partnership with Mulder, and I´m not ready yet to give that up.
And Mulder? Does he even see himself as a father someday? I would like to ask him.
But then, we never really talk about our personal lives, our dreams for the future...
I think he would be a great dad. He can be so tender and caring, it amazes me every
time he directs his gentle side at me.
What would it be like to live with him? His little quirks, the empty fridge, the adult video
news... Or would he behave differently - washing the dishes, taking out the garbage,
accepting diaper-patrol with a smile...
Well, I´m back at the topic that started these musings - children. But I can´t let myself
think about it any longer. He´s my partner and friend. To think about him in any other
way would be insane.
Anyway, I don´t think he feels the same kind of attractionbetween us that I do. Too bad.
~~~~~~~~~~
I´m near a coronary here. Does this mean what I think it means?
That she felt the same tension that I did? That she buried these feelings, like I did, because
she thought it was better to be friends that to tempt fate? That she chose me, life with me
and the X-Files over some "normal" guy?
I can´t quite believe that she consciously decided that it was worth to stay with me,
Fox Mulder? Wow, nobody every voluntarily stayed longer with me than absolutely necessary.
At least no woman.
And kids. I wish so much that I could give her a child. But that´s impossible. I haven´t had
the heart to tell her yet, though.
I´m a coward and i don´t want to cuse her any more pain at this moment. Her cancer´s bad
enough for her to deal with.
END Part 3
AUTHOR: CORRAN
RATING: PG-13
CATEGORY: MSR, UST, a little angst, cancer
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: GOSSAMER; CHRONICLE X; SPOOKY´S;
XEMPLARY; EPHEMERAL
ALL OTHERS PLEASE ASK FIRST
FEEDBACK: hell, YES! Starfish666@email.com
SPOILERS: EPISODES UP TO REDUX II
SUMMARY: while Scully fights her cancer Mulder is allowed to read her journals
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. They belong to CC, 1013 and Fox.
But I think David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson own them as well.
AUTOR´S NOTES: this is my second long story. I started this when I was a little
depressed after watching Redux I and II again. I promise I'll write some more parts
when I'm in the right mood again, okay?
HOMEPAGE: http://www.geocities.com/corran_14776/index.html
PART 3
The Jersey Devil, my ass. That´s gross, even for Mulder.
How can he believe that such things exist? It´s like believing in fairy-tales. I mean,
the man is intelligent, a genius. Why does he believe the stories that some tramps tell
him but never accepts any of my explanations?
I know it´s ridiculous to expect him to be more like... like me. I don´t even want to
change him. I like who he is. Perhaps it´s me who needs to change, to be more open
to extreme possibilities...
But sometimes it would be nice if he wouldn´t dismiss me so easily.
Well, at least I had some fun at Trent´s birthday party while Mulder trudged through
the woods.
I love kids, but like I said to Ellen there´s simply no time at the moment, let alone a
man in my life. Ellen hit the nail on it´s head, as always. First I have to get a life.
But what kind of life would that be? Without the X-Files, without Mulder? If that´s what
a normal life would be like...Thank you very much. Without me.
I got a glimpse of this so called "normal" life when I went out with what-was-his-name?
Rob? Well, he was.. nice, for an hour or so but a whole life like that? Boooring. I didn´t
even know what to talk about with him.
Mulder and I always have something to talk about.
Mulder. The current "man in my life". I never should have told Ellen about him. I knew
she would tease me mercilessly.
Why had she to bring up his name in our conversation about kids? Hell, I couldn´t even
see me with a child. At least not in the next one or two years. That would terminate my
partnership with Mulder, and I´m not ready yet to give that up.
And Mulder? Does he even see himself as a father someday? I would like to ask him.
But then, we never really talk about our personal lives, our dreams for the future...
I think he would be a great dad. He can be so tender and caring, it amazes me every
time he directs his gentle side at me.
What would it be like to live with him? His little quirks, the empty fridge, the adult video
news... Or would he behave differently - washing the dishes, taking out the garbage,
accepting diaper-patrol with a smile...
Well, I´m back at the topic that started these musings - children. But I can´t let myself
think about it any longer. He´s my partner and friend. To think about him in any other
way would be insane.
Anyway, I don´t think he feels the same kind of attractionbetween us that I do. Too bad.
~~~~~~~~~~
I´m near a coronary here. Does this mean what I think it means?
That she felt the same tension that I did? That she buried these feelings, like I did, because
she thought it was better to be friends that to tempt fate? That she chose me, life with me
and the X-Files over some "normal" guy?
I can´t quite believe that she consciously decided that it was worth to stay with me,
Fox Mulder? Wow, nobody every voluntarily stayed longer with me than absolutely necessary.
At least no woman.
And kids. I wish so much that I could give her a child. But that´s impossible. I haven´t had
the heart to tell her yet, though.
I´m a coward and i don´t want to cuse her any more pain at this moment. Her cancer´s bad
enough for her to deal with.
END Part 3