Calvin and Hobbes and the G.R.O.S.S War
Part One: The Plan
A/N I do not own Calvin and Hobbes. I am just a fan.
One summer day, Calvin walked up to his best friend, Hobbes, who was in the middle of a nap. "Guess what, Hobbes!" Calvin said, waking the tiger.
"You've decided to let your life end now, because you woke me up from my nap?" Hobbes said irritably, his eyes half closed.
"No. If I wanted to do that, I would drop the kiddie pool on you," Calvin retorted. "Now, if you want to stand around making smart remarkes, I won't be able to tell you what I just found out!"
"What," Hobbes grumbled, expecting to hear something like, 'I found a big centipede and it's crawling on your head!'
"Susie has started a club to counter-act our G.R.O.S.S efforts!" Calvin said, happily.
"Really? That's great! Now I won't have to feel guilty about bombarding her with water balloons!" Hobbes said, getting up.
"C'mon!" Calvin called to Hobbes, "Let's go get Susie!"
Out in Calvin's back yard tree house, Calvin was walking around with a regal-like heir about him.
"Gentelmen," Calvin called to the only other person present, "today, Susie Derkins, a girl, has started a club against our efforts! Today, thanks to Top Scout Calvin, we learned of the club's name. Scout?"
"Mr. President," Calvin said still, taking off his paper hat and replacing it with a set of miniature binoculars, "after some bold spying, I found out the title of our new enemy! V.I.L.E! Vanquish Ignorant maLe Efforts! First of all," Calvin continued, putting his paper hat back on, "we should attack the vile members of V.I.L.E. for several reasons. Number one... Secretary, are you taking this down?"
"Yes, sir, I've been recording everything that's happening!" Hobbes said, pointing to a notebook with some badly misspelled words on it.
"Okay. Number one!" Calvin said, "Susie should have water balloons thrown at her for making a mockery of our club name! We had G.R.O.S.S first, and now, look what she's done! V.I.L.E! It doesn't make sense! Men aren't ignorant!" At this, Hobbes rolled his eyes, getting a dirty glance from Calvin. "Number two, Susie is a girl, our club's mortal enemy! We should strike hard and fast! I have a big big plan for us! And here it is!" Calvin took out a piece of paper that made no sense whatsoever. "As you see, gentelmen, our first move is to go inside and call Susie's house. Then, while President and First Tiger is on the phone with Susie, I shall go sneek over to her house and throw a water balloon at her!"
"Wait a minute!" Hobbes said, pointing to parts of Calvin's 'plan.' "This doesn't work! How will you throw a water balloon at Susie while she's inside?"
"Erm... I'll.... uh.... you'll tell her to step out of her house for a minute!" Calvin replied, looking quiet proud of himself.
"And just how do you propose I'll know when you're at her house?" Hobbes glared at Calvin.
"Why, it's simple! You'll follow me!" Once again, Calvin looked proud of himself.
"And how am I going to call Susie's house if I follow you?"
"We'll take Dad's cell phone!" Calvin retorted, trying to end the arguement.
"Your dad is at work, Calvin," Hobbes said, once again, pointing out the faults of Calvin's plan.
"What about Mom's cell phone?" Calvin said standing up and heading toward his house.
"And how do you think we'll get it?" Hobbes said, having no choice but to follow him.
"Just watch my plan!" Calvin grinned evily.
That look always gave Hobbes an uneasy feeling.
Back inside Calvin's house, Calvin walked up to his mother. "Hey, Mom, can I borrow your cell phone?"
Calvin's mom sighed, and said, "Calvin, what do you need to use my cell phone for?"
"Um... I need to... uh... call somebody!" Calvin grinned, a note of hope in his voice.
"Can't you use the phone in the house?" His mom said, rolling her eyes.
"Um... calling on your cell phone is a whole lot more fun! So can I, Mom? Please???"
"Calvin, you can't use my cell phone! Now, let me be! I have lots of work to do!" Calvin's mom said, indicating that she was through arguing. Calvin, however, wouldn't take a hint.
"But.... can I just look at your cell phone?" he said, running after her.
Calvin's mom rolled her eyes once again, and said, "Alright, alright! You can look at my cell phone. If you call anybody, you'll be grounded for a month!"
"Alright!" Calvin cried out, grabbing the cell phone.
"Just get it back to me in twenty minutes!" she called out to him.
Back in his tree house, Calvin showed Hobbes the cell phone. "Can you believe I actually got it?!?"
"Well, now what's part two of the 'plan?'" Hobbes said monotonously, showing no interest whatsoever.
"Okay. We have the cell phone. Now, we sneek down to Susie's yard, and I'll call her."
"Why can't I call her?" Hobbes said angrily.
"Because, you'd probably tell her I'm out there and ruin the whole thing. But you do get to throw the water balloon!" Calvin said, handing Hobbes a pre-filled red water balloon.
"After we do that, we demand that she stop V.I.L.E. and run like crazy back here!" Calvin said.
"Oh, sound's like a great plan!" Hobbes said sarcastically.
"Good! I'm glad you thought so! Now, c'mon!" Calvin said, climbming out of the tree house already.
Part One: The Plan
A/N I do not own Calvin and Hobbes. I am just a fan.
One summer day, Calvin walked up to his best friend, Hobbes, who was in the middle of a nap. "Guess what, Hobbes!" Calvin said, waking the tiger.
"You've decided to let your life end now, because you woke me up from my nap?" Hobbes said irritably, his eyes half closed.
"No. If I wanted to do that, I would drop the kiddie pool on you," Calvin retorted. "Now, if you want to stand around making smart remarkes, I won't be able to tell you what I just found out!"
"What," Hobbes grumbled, expecting to hear something like, 'I found a big centipede and it's crawling on your head!'
"Susie has started a club to counter-act our G.R.O.S.S efforts!" Calvin said, happily.
"Really? That's great! Now I won't have to feel guilty about bombarding her with water balloons!" Hobbes said, getting up.
"C'mon!" Calvin called to Hobbes, "Let's go get Susie!"
Out in Calvin's back yard tree house, Calvin was walking around with a regal-like heir about him.
"Gentelmen," Calvin called to the only other person present, "today, Susie Derkins, a girl, has started a club against our efforts! Today, thanks to Top Scout Calvin, we learned of the club's name. Scout?"
"Mr. President," Calvin said still, taking off his paper hat and replacing it with a set of miniature binoculars, "after some bold spying, I found out the title of our new enemy! V.I.L.E! Vanquish Ignorant maLe Efforts! First of all," Calvin continued, putting his paper hat back on, "we should attack the vile members of V.I.L.E. for several reasons. Number one... Secretary, are you taking this down?"
"Yes, sir, I've been recording everything that's happening!" Hobbes said, pointing to a notebook with some badly misspelled words on it.
"Okay. Number one!" Calvin said, "Susie should have water balloons thrown at her for making a mockery of our club name! We had G.R.O.S.S first, and now, look what she's done! V.I.L.E! It doesn't make sense! Men aren't ignorant!" At this, Hobbes rolled his eyes, getting a dirty glance from Calvin. "Number two, Susie is a girl, our club's mortal enemy! We should strike hard and fast! I have a big big plan for us! And here it is!" Calvin took out a piece of paper that made no sense whatsoever. "As you see, gentelmen, our first move is to go inside and call Susie's house. Then, while President and First Tiger is on the phone with Susie, I shall go sneek over to her house and throw a water balloon at her!"
"Wait a minute!" Hobbes said, pointing to parts of Calvin's 'plan.' "This doesn't work! How will you throw a water balloon at Susie while she's inside?"
"Erm... I'll.... uh.... you'll tell her to step out of her house for a minute!" Calvin replied, looking quiet proud of himself.
"And just how do you propose I'll know when you're at her house?" Hobbes glared at Calvin.
"Why, it's simple! You'll follow me!" Once again, Calvin looked proud of himself.
"And how am I going to call Susie's house if I follow you?"
"We'll take Dad's cell phone!" Calvin retorted, trying to end the arguement.
"Your dad is at work, Calvin," Hobbes said, once again, pointing out the faults of Calvin's plan.
"What about Mom's cell phone?" Calvin said standing up and heading toward his house.
"And how do you think we'll get it?" Hobbes said, having no choice but to follow him.
"Just watch my plan!" Calvin grinned evily.
That look always gave Hobbes an uneasy feeling.
Back inside Calvin's house, Calvin walked up to his mother. "Hey, Mom, can I borrow your cell phone?"
Calvin's mom sighed, and said, "Calvin, what do you need to use my cell phone for?"
"Um... I need to... uh... call somebody!" Calvin grinned, a note of hope in his voice.
"Can't you use the phone in the house?" His mom said, rolling her eyes.
"Um... calling on your cell phone is a whole lot more fun! So can I, Mom? Please???"
"Calvin, you can't use my cell phone! Now, let me be! I have lots of work to do!" Calvin's mom said, indicating that she was through arguing. Calvin, however, wouldn't take a hint.
"But.... can I just look at your cell phone?" he said, running after her.
Calvin's mom rolled her eyes once again, and said, "Alright, alright! You can look at my cell phone. If you call anybody, you'll be grounded for a month!"
"Alright!" Calvin cried out, grabbing the cell phone.
"Just get it back to me in twenty minutes!" she called out to him.
Back in his tree house, Calvin showed Hobbes the cell phone. "Can you believe I actually got it?!?"
"Well, now what's part two of the 'plan?'" Hobbes said monotonously, showing no interest whatsoever.
"Okay. We have the cell phone. Now, we sneek down to Susie's yard, and I'll call her."
"Why can't I call her?" Hobbes said angrily.
"Because, you'd probably tell her I'm out there and ruin the whole thing. But you do get to throw the water balloon!" Calvin said, handing Hobbes a pre-filled red water balloon.
"After we do that, we demand that she stop V.I.L.E. and run like crazy back here!" Calvin said.
"Oh, sound's like a great plan!" Hobbes said sarcastically.
"Good! I'm glad you thought so! Now, c'mon!" Calvin said, climbming out of the tree house already.