Ordinary Observer
Today was a HORRIBLE day! It started with a bang, when I went to the diner with mom. I tried to convince her we should try something new, but she argued that Luke's was still the best place, and that if we didn't show up he might go fishing again, and then we'd have to go to other places everyday, and they might not have good coffee...So I caved in. Who cares if Jess is there, right?
So he brought us our coffee and started to take our order. Now little did I realise, this was the first time I talked to him after the kiss. My heart was racing and I was stumbling on every word, giggling nervously but never looking up from the menu (which I don't even need to order...). It took me at least ten minutes to order pancakes (all right, maybe not ten, but it felt like ten). Lorelai watched amused and Jess cocked an eyebrow every time I stumbled on a syllable. I wanted orange juice, but I decided to give up on that. Two many letters.
As soon as he left, Lorelai said "So the kiss was that good, huh?" with a big smirk. I just stared down at the placemats and swirled my cup of coffee around. She continued "See, I knew you had a thing for him...I knew you were falling for him, and you would never admit it." I looked up, signalling for her to shush. "Just be careful, all right? I don't want you to get hurt." she finished. I knew mom was afraid of what could happen if I got involved with Jess. Sure, Dean looked a little like my dad, but according to mom, Jess was exactly like him. Rebellious, reckless...She was afraid of me, the golden child, becoming like her. I wanted to scream "Don't you know I'm already hurt? He's dating another girl, why wouldn't I be hurt? I guess you should be happy...He'll stay far away from me!" but I kept quiet.
I sat there, munching on my pancakes while she rambled, trying to find a way to upset grandma at this week's dinner. She rambled on over the pros and cons of various body piercing. When breakfast was over, we left and I headed for Chilton, where Paris greeted me, to nag about the importance of me speaking as vice-president at public addresses. Then, she ordered me to stay after school to work on the Franklin, and quite frankly, I was a little happy. It meant that I wouldn't have to go to the Diner for supper.
After that, I came back home. I took the bus, and walked home from the bus stop. The one were Dean had waited for me so many times. Surprisingly, I didn't even feel a tinge of hurt. I just walked on. But the pain just took over when I walked by the town square. On a bench by the gazebo sat Jess. Just reading. Reading with a pen behind his ear. And though to most people, this would seem completely irrelevant; to me it was like I was tapping into his world. I knew what he was doing with that pen. I knew he would write notes in the margins. And the thought that our friendship had been ruined by a kiss was just unbearable. I would never read the notes in those margins. I was just an outsider now. An observer of his life, life the rest of the town. Tears began to stream down my face, so I picked up the pace. I ran into the house, wiped my tears long enough to say goodnight to mom and went to bed, just trying to end this day as quickly as possible.
Today was a HORRIBLE day! It started with a bang, when I went to the diner with mom. I tried to convince her we should try something new, but she argued that Luke's was still the best place, and that if we didn't show up he might go fishing again, and then we'd have to go to other places everyday, and they might not have good coffee...So I caved in. Who cares if Jess is there, right?
So he brought us our coffee and started to take our order. Now little did I realise, this was the first time I talked to him after the kiss. My heart was racing and I was stumbling on every word, giggling nervously but never looking up from the menu (which I don't even need to order...). It took me at least ten minutes to order pancakes (all right, maybe not ten, but it felt like ten). Lorelai watched amused and Jess cocked an eyebrow every time I stumbled on a syllable. I wanted orange juice, but I decided to give up on that. Two many letters.
As soon as he left, Lorelai said "So the kiss was that good, huh?" with a big smirk. I just stared down at the placemats and swirled my cup of coffee around. She continued "See, I knew you had a thing for him...I knew you were falling for him, and you would never admit it." I looked up, signalling for her to shush. "Just be careful, all right? I don't want you to get hurt." she finished. I knew mom was afraid of what could happen if I got involved with Jess. Sure, Dean looked a little like my dad, but according to mom, Jess was exactly like him. Rebellious, reckless...She was afraid of me, the golden child, becoming like her. I wanted to scream "Don't you know I'm already hurt? He's dating another girl, why wouldn't I be hurt? I guess you should be happy...He'll stay far away from me!" but I kept quiet.
I sat there, munching on my pancakes while she rambled, trying to find a way to upset grandma at this week's dinner. She rambled on over the pros and cons of various body piercing. When breakfast was over, we left and I headed for Chilton, where Paris greeted me, to nag about the importance of me speaking as vice-president at public addresses. Then, she ordered me to stay after school to work on the Franklin, and quite frankly, I was a little happy. It meant that I wouldn't have to go to the Diner for supper.
After that, I came back home. I took the bus, and walked home from the bus stop. The one were Dean had waited for me so many times. Surprisingly, I didn't even feel a tinge of hurt. I just walked on. But the pain just took over when I walked by the town square. On a bench by the gazebo sat Jess. Just reading. Reading with a pen behind his ear. And though to most people, this would seem completely irrelevant; to me it was like I was tapping into his world. I knew what he was doing with that pen. I knew he would write notes in the margins. And the thought that our friendship had been ruined by a kiss was just unbearable. I would never read the notes in those margins. I was just an outsider now. An observer of his life, life the rest of the town. Tears began to stream down my face, so I picked up the pace. I ran into the house, wiped my tears long enough to say goodnight to mom and went to bed, just trying to end this day as quickly as possible.