Windows and Guilt
I don't know where to stand right now. The other night, just as I started thinking I may never speak to Jess again, something simply incredible happened.
I was sleeping. It was late at night, and I had had a long, painful week at school. I was as peaceful as I had ever been, when out of the blue I was startled by tapping sounds on my window. I glanced up and almost screamed when I saw Jess. Just standing there, with a finger to his lips. I frowned at him, before running outside in my flannel pajamas. Barefoot, I stepped on the cold wet grass, joining him in front of my window.
"What the hell are you doing?" I muttered.
"Well, I was just about to Dawson's Creek my way into your room. You know you're a deep sleeper? I've been here, tapping my knuckles bloody for at least ten minutes."
"Why did you come?" I asked softly. I had insulted him so much the other day, I never expected him to ever speak to me again.
"I came to bring you this." he said, holding out a book. But it wasn't a published book. It was a diary. I opened it and looked in to see that it was his diary..."The Book of Jess", in a way.
"It's my diary." he explained. "It covers from the eighth grade to now. I finished filling it a month ago, after you left for DC..."
"Why are you...?" I asked, not understanding why he wanted me to read his most private thoughts.
"I want you to know that I'm not half as bad as you said I was the other day. I mean, it really hurt me to think that I had deceived the one person in this town who saw me for who I truly am...."
"I didn't mean a word of what I said..." I tried, but he cut me off.
"No, Rory. It's okay. Really. You wouldn't be the first. But I still wanted you to read this. You don't have to, but maybe you'd understand some things. Well, I should go. See ya Ror." He waved timidly and walked away, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"Jess!" I shouted. He turned around. "I'm sorry." I finished. He smiled, nodded slowly and continued walking.
Tears in my eyes, I returned to my room and cried myself to sleep.
I don't know where to stand right now. The other night, just as I started thinking I may never speak to Jess again, something simply incredible happened.
I was sleeping. It was late at night, and I had had a long, painful week at school. I was as peaceful as I had ever been, when out of the blue I was startled by tapping sounds on my window. I glanced up and almost screamed when I saw Jess. Just standing there, with a finger to his lips. I frowned at him, before running outside in my flannel pajamas. Barefoot, I stepped on the cold wet grass, joining him in front of my window.
"What the hell are you doing?" I muttered.
"Well, I was just about to Dawson's Creek my way into your room. You know you're a deep sleeper? I've been here, tapping my knuckles bloody for at least ten minutes."
"Why did you come?" I asked softly. I had insulted him so much the other day, I never expected him to ever speak to me again.
"I came to bring you this." he said, holding out a book. But it wasn't a published book. It was a diary. I opened it and looked in to see that it was his diary..."The Book of Jess", in a way.
"It's my diary." he explained. "It covers from the eighth grade to now. I finished filling it a month ago, after you left for DC..."
"Why are you...?" I asked, not understanding why he wanted me to read his most private thoughts.
"I want you to know that I'm not half as bad as you said I was the other day. I mean, it really hurt me to think that I had deceived the one person in this town who saw me for who I truly am...."
"I didn't mean a word of what I said..." I tried, but he cut me off.
"No, Rory. It's okay. Really. You wouldn't be the first. But I still wanted you to read this. You don't have to, but maybe you'd understand some things. Well, I should go. See ya Ror." He waved timidly and walked away, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"Jess!" I shouted. He turned around. "I'm sorry." I finished. He smiled, nodded slowly and continued walking.
Tears in my eyes, I returned to my room and cried myself to sleep.