THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF ARTHUR WEASLEY....'S FORD ANGLIA
Day 1
Have been taken by twins and smallest son to go rescue their little friend from imprisonment. Just know their mother will slaughter them for this.
Day 12
Going to King's Cross to deliver students to Hogwarts. Except for flying capabilities, mother seems very niave about all the spells her husband put on me. Will let it go at that as I do not wish to be scrapped any time soon.
Later
Have been horribly mutilated by idiot tree, but managed to get good shot at it before taking off. Will find shelter in the forest.
Day 15
Very dark and scary in the forest. Don't like it at ALL. Not a petrol station for miles and I think I may have a run in one of my tires.
Day 22
Woke up this morning to the birds singing and little green things growing everywhere. Have found my calling. Have returned to the Wild. Can almost feel the trembling of the earth as the ghosts of hundreds of Ford Anglias, their radio antennae waiving proudly in the air, traveled in herds across this country, seeking shelter for their young and fuzzy dice for their rear- view mirrors.
I AM KING FORD ANGLIA OF THE JUNGLE!
Day 38
Have met up with herd of wild Ford Anglias as they were engaged in tribal war with a pack of Chevrolet Cavaliers. Slaughtered many of the accursed Chevy pack and became Alpha Ford of the Anglia tribe. Now have beautiful mate and am expecting little ones. Go me!
Day 66
Ran into stupid children again and saved them from giant spiders. Was just beginning to enjoy my life until was reminded by them of idiot humans. However, dumped them off onto a safer route and returned to my wild domain. Will return someday in a future book as a cheap plot device to save Harry from danger.
[Author's note: Please don't ask me why there are american Chevrolets running wild in England. Ask yourself why you're questioning the brand- name of a car that mates within a wild pack of other cars.]
Day 1
Have been taken by twins and smallest son to go rescue their little friend from imprisonment. Just know their mother will slaughter them for this.
Day 12
Going to King's Cross to deliver students to Hogwarts. Except for flying capabilities, mother seems very niave about all the spells her husband put on me. Will let it go at that as I do not wish to be scrapped any time soon.
Later
Have been horribly mutilated by idiot tree, but managed to get good shot at it before taking off. Will find shelter in the forest.
Day 15
Very dark and scary in the forest. Don't like it at ALL. Not a petrol station for miles and I think I may have a run in one of my tires.
Day 22
Woke up this morning to the birds singing and little green things growing everywhere. Have found my calling. Have returned to the Wild. Can almost feel the trembling of the earth as the ghosts of hundreds of Ford Anglias, their radio antennae waiving proudly in the air, traveled in herds across this country, seeking shelter for their young and fuzzy dice for their rear- view mirrors.
I AM KING FORD ANGLIA OF THE JUNGLE!
Day 38
Have met up with herd of wild Ford Anglias as they were engaged in tribal war with a pack of Chevrolet Cavaliers. Slaughtered many of the accursed Chevy pack and became Alpha Ford of the Anglia tribe. Now have beautiful mate and am expecting little ones. Go me!
Day 66
Ran into stupid children again and saved them from giant spiders. Was just beginning to enjoy my life until was reminded by them of idiot humans. However, dumped them off onto a safer route and returned to my wild domain. Will return someday in a future book as a cheap plot device to save Harry from danger.
[Author's note: Please don't ask me why there are american Chevrolets running wild in England. Ask yourself why you're questioning the brand- name of a car that mates within a wild pack of other cars.]