Disclaimer: I own none of the WWF Divas... not that I ever would want to! Daria, Jane, and Ms. Li belong to MTV and I'm just using them for the time being because I think they're cool! Well.. except for Ms. Li.
La la la la la
-The DLL Minivan pulls up to a high school. Sean's in the driver's seat and Rogue in the passenger side. Behind them are Meg and Judi. In the back are Jackie, Nessa, and Shelly-
Sean: Well, here we are... -looks out Rogue's window- Umm... does this place look familiar to you?
Rogue: -eyes bug out- No way! -jumps out of the car-
-Standing on the sidewalk in front of the school were Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane-
Rogue: You guys are the welcoming committee?!
Daria: More or less.
Judi: -turns to Rogue- You know them?
Rogue: You betcha!
Daria: I'm Daria Morgendorffer and this is my partner in crime, Jane Lane.
Jane: We're here to welcome you to -does a Ms. Li impression- Laaaaawwwwnnnndale High!
Daria: We can hardly contain ourselves.
Judi: How exactly did you girls get this assignment?
Jane: -tries to be enthusiastic- We volunteered.
All except Jane, Daria, Sean, and Rogue: o_O
Rogue: -to Daria- Something you can put on your college applications under "Extra Curricular Activities"?
Daria: It seemed quick and painless -beat- at the time.
Sean: -to Jane- Extra credit?
Jane: How else am I gonna maintain my C average in math. -turns to Daria- I like the way they think.
Nessa: That's why we always have them around.
Jackie: Round the clock laughs.
-The group enters the school and finds the assigned classroom. Standing in front of the room is Ms. Li, Mr. O'Neil, and Linda McMahon-
Linda: -after the group finds their seats- On behalf of the WWF, I'd like to thank you ladies for joining us today. You all are assets to the company. As you all may know -notices the blank stares- ... or may not know... some of the Divas have been wondering why they aren't included on your website...
Meg: The fact that we're interested in the MALE wrestlers of the WWF was too much for them to understand?
Linda: -sighs- They believe that it shouldn't be based on gender.
Mr. O'Neil: I think that's a great idea!
Judi: I guess the "wrestling" part went way over their heads...
Linda: I know, I know... But they've decided to make a presentation for their cause... at least they're doing something productive with their free time. And now...
Ms. Li: -ahem-
Linda: -rolls eyes- Oh yes... And we'd like to thank Ms. Li for letting us have this meeting in her high school.
Ms. Li: There will be monetary compensation, correct?
Linda: -sighs- Yes, Ms. Li.
Daria: Great.. more misplaced school funds...
Mr. O'Neil: Before we begin, are there any questions?
Jane: -raises her hand- This extra credit WILL transfer over to my math grade, right?
Mr. O'Neil: -sigh- Yes, Joan.
Jane: That's Jane.
Mr. O'Neil: Of course...
Rogue: -raises hand- I believe I was promised Cocoa Puffs...
All except Sean: O__O
Mr. O.: Yes.. of course.. -pulls box from behind desk and hands it to Rogue-
Rogue: -begins opening the box-
Ms. Li: No eating in class.
Rogue: -pouts- But..
Ms. Li: No eating.. or it's detention!
Sean: -whispers to Rogue- I think the pressure of being a high school principal has finally made her snap...
Ms. Li: -stalks over to Sean- And what exactly are you doing here? You're a boy!
Sean: You're power of observation is astounding...
Ms. Li: But I was under the impression that this was a WOMEN'S group. What exactly is YOUR position?
Sean: Supervision.
Ms. Li: Whose?
Sean: -looks at Rogue, who is intently reading the back of the cereal box and giggling every now and then- Hers.
Ms. Li: I... see...
Jackie: -raises hand- I have a question. Where's the janitor's closet?
Ms. Li: Umm... down the hall.. last door on the right.
Jackie: Thank you! -leaves the room-
Shelly: -turns to Nessa- What's she up to?
Nessa: -smiles innocently- I have no idea...
Sean: Well.. looks like things are going to get interesting!
Ms. Li: If you need me, I'll be in my office.
Mr. O.: And if there aren't any more questions...
Daria: -raises her hand- Actually, I have one... how much of a negative effect will seeing perky, silicon enhanced, women who make more than I could ever dream of be on my ever wavering self esteem?
Mr. O.: Well... I don't think... -bursts into tears and runs out of the room-
Linda: -smirks- She's good... Anyway, here's this afternoon's presentation.
-Stephanie McMahon, Terri, Torrie Wilson, Stacy Keibler, and Lita walk into the room-
Linda: Trish should be with us shortly. She had to use the ladies room.
Steph: If you'll notice, on the desk in front of you are note pads so you can take notes on our presentation.
Meg: Leather bound.. Why am I not surprised?
Steph: You're the one dating me EX-husband, aren't you?
Meg: Yes...
Sean: -whispers to Rogue- Five bucks says Meg decks her...
Rogue: Bet! -spitshakes with Sean-
Steph: ANYWAY.. back to our presentation.. I have graciously agreed to go last since I know that my argument will sway you the most.
-Jackie walks into the room and takes her seat-
Steph: Trish was supposed to go first, but she is currently preoccupied...
Jackie: -whispers- I'll say she is...
Shelly: What are you up to now, Jackson?
Jackie: -smiles innocently- Nothing.. -notices no one's buying it- I'll tell y'all later.
Steph: So, Terri will go first.
Terri: -happily- I brought slides!
-Stacy dims the lights as Terri turns on the projector-
Terri: And here's a picture of me on the beach. Don't you just love the beach? -click- Oh, and here's another one of me on the beach! Isn't that nice.. I don't really like the way my hair looks in this picture.. but I love the outfit I'm wearing...
Judi: Kill... me... now...
Jane: The horror... THE HORROR!!
Rogue: When will the hurting stop?
Sean: I just know this is going to give me nightmares!
-Suddenly, the screen goes white and the lights on the projector go off-
Terri: Aww... the projector's broken! Oh well...
-As she turns the lights back on, Shelly sits down-
Shelly: -notices her sisters, Daria, Jane, and Sean looking at her- I unplugged the projector... ^______^
Sean: -kneels in front of Shelly- I am humbled by your genius. -kisses her hand and returns to his seat.
Steph: Thank you Terri.. I have no idea what you were doing.. but you did manage to waste our time.. Up next is Stacy.
Stacy: -reads from card- Hello... I.. am.. Stacy... -flips to next card- Keibler... I.. would.. like.. to be.. on your.. site.. because...
Nessa: That trip through the table must've really done some damage.
Jackie: R i g h t ... Blame the table...
Judi: Let me handle this... -loud enough for Stacy to hear- You know... I hear Victoria's Secret is have a 50% off sale.. today only...
Stacy: SALE! -runs out the building at top speed-
Steph: Well.. wasn't that.. interesting... -notices Rogue writing feverously in the notepad- See! Someone's enjoying the fruits of my hard work...
Sean: -leans over Rogue's shoulder- She's drawing GIR from Invader Zim...
Rogue: I like tacos!
Steph: Anyway.. Up next is Torrie... umm.. Torrie?
Torrie: -stands in front of Sean's desk, twirling her hair around her finger- I'm Torrie!
Sean: -draws on his own notepad- You must be so proud...
Torrie: And I won the Golden Thong.
Sean: -still not looking up from pad- My goodness... That must be uncomfortable...
Daria: -to Rogue- Don't look now, but it looks like she's trying to steal your boyfriend...
Rogue: -seething- Oh really.... I'll be right back... -leaves room-
Torrie: You know, since Tajiri and I broke it off, I'm not really seeing anyone right now. I think you and I could have a really good time together.
Sean: And you base this on what exactly?
Jane: I wonder if Barbie knows she's wearing her tube top...
Sean: -notices Rogue- O_O ... Umm.. I think I'm gonna sit over here now.. -moves to a sit on his left-
Torrie: Okay...
Rogue: Yo! Blondie!
Torrie: -turns around- Who? Me?
Rogue: -throws a bucketful of cold water on Torrie- That should cool you off!
Torrie: -shrieks- MY HAIR!!! -runs out the room-
Meg: I hope her outfit doesn't shrink.. It could cut off the circulation to her brain...
Judi: I think that was cut off long ago...
Daria: -to Jane- What time is it?
Jane: 3:05.. why?
Daria: Well.. school just let out... and a silicon enhanced bimbo just ran out of here doused in ice cold water...
Rogue: -smiles and takes her seat- Those high school boys are sure gonna get a thrill!
Steph: -to Meg- Since you're intent on being with Hunter, there are a few things you might want to know.. First of all, he snores.. loudly! Secondly...
Meg: -pulls out Swiss Army Knife- Now.. where is that thing... knife.. no... cork screw.. no.. ah ha! -pulls out a frying pan and bonks Steph on the head- That should keep her quiet!
Sean: -to Rogue- Ha! I win the bet!
Rogue: Nuh uh... You said deck... That was definitely a bonk.
Sean: Who cares? Unconscious is unconscious.
Rogue: -whines- But I don't have any money!
Sean: Wanna trade somethin for it?
Rogue: -pouts- Like what?
-Sean whispers something in Rogue's ear that causes her to blush.-
Rogue: You wanna go do that now?
Sean: Yuh huh!
Rogue: Okie Dokie! ^____^
Linda: What exactly is that thing anyway?
Meg: Acme's Handy Dandy Pocket Knife... Rogue gave it to me for Christmas...
Rogue: -grins- Acme: Seller of outrageous gadgets that other companies won't..
Sean: ...Cause it's a felony in most states.
-Sean and Rogue dash out of the room and down the hall, giggling most of the way.-
Linda: Well, looks like Lita is the only one left...
Jackie: Oh dear... No good can come from this...
Lita: -moves to the front of the room- Hi! I'm Lita! And I think I should be included on the site because... it just feels right!
Jackie: -turns around to Nessa who is sitting behind here- O_O -ducks down under the desk-
-As Lita continues her speech, an arrow flies from out of nowhere and hits her in the side-
Lita: -screams- AHHHHHH!!! -grabs her side, falls to the floor, and crawls out of the room, leaving a trail of blood-
-Nessa stands up, holding a crossbow, and walks over to the door-
Nessa: -turns to the others and smiles- Ah'll be back! -raises crossbow and rushes out the door-
Linda: Well... Since there are no more presentations.. I guess we can call this a wrap... -mumbles- I think I need a drink...
-Everyone gathers their things and begin to leave. As they're about to leave, Rogue and Sean show up. Rogue's hair is disheveled and her shirt is buttoned up wrong.-
Shelly: And what exactly were you two doing?
Judi: I think we know what they were doing... The correct question is: Where did they do it?
-Nessa comes back in with a satisfied look on her face. After dropping the crossbow into her bag, she notices Rogue and Sean and gives them the once over.-
Nessa: -whispers to Sean- Looks like you left the barn door open...
Sean: -turns five shades of red and finally zips up- Umm... Thanks...
Meg: -turns to Jackie- Okay, sis.. spill it... What did you do?
Jackie: -smiles- You remember when I went to the bathroom before the presentations started?
All: Yeah...
Jackie: Well, as I was walking out, Trish was walking in.. I saw which stall she went into...
All: And...
Jackie: -hands Judi a piece of crumpled paper-
Judi: -reads the paper- "Acme's Quick Drying Cement"... o_O -sweatdrop-
Shelly: You didn't?
Jackie: Yup! Got it from the janitor's closet.
Nessa: There's no way she'll be able to climb over the stall in those high heels...
Jackie: And she wouldn't think of trying to crawl underneath... and get herself all dirty...
Sean: She'd have to deflate her chest just to fit under the door!
All: -laugh hysterically-
Jane: So far, people have been shot, bonked, and sealed...
Daria: -smile- Today was a good day.
Jane: This calls for a celebration... Let's head over to the pizza parlor!
Rogue: Sounds like a plan!
-They all link arms, walk out of the building and off into the sunset. Meanwhile...-
Trish: Hello? Helllllooooooo? Somebody? Anybody? Little help?…