Kalasin: Psst! Satiaus, wake up!
Satiaus, the author (but you guessed that already, right?) finally wakes up after a 6 month nap.
Satiaus: Oh my God, what day is it?
Thom: It's already been half a year.
Satiaus: What? Are you serious? (looks at the calendar)
All the characters of the story wait patiently for the author's brain to start working again. Finally, it clicks.
Satiaus: OH NOOOOO!!!!!!
* * *
Eheh ^.^;;; Sooo.it's been a while. After procrastinating and lazing off, I have FINALLY decided to come back and finish this story, which has been lying around since January. And 'Bad Luck?' I have a major writer's block. But that would be obvious, wouldn't it? After all, I've disappeared off the face of FFN for half a year. Almost.
But.I'm back! I have no idea when I'll ever finish any of my other stories. So, after this, I'm gonna get back on track and whip up a new (attempted) humor story. Sorry, I don't think I'll ever be able to write a serious fanfic. Okay, enough rambling. Here's the next chapter of 'Alan Gone Adventuring.'
But first.the Disclaimer!
Kalasin: Satiaus does not own any of the characters in this story.
Thom: Or the messed up plot.
Satiuas: Hey!
Alianne: Moving on.
Satiaus: Oh, right. The story:
* * *
Alan Gone Adventuring
Chapter 6: Mush-Art and Magically Appearing Chairs (plus.a 'menacing friend')
We last left off with an encounter with Roald, who in this story universe works at the Dancing Dove. After a short chat with Alan, Roald directs our hero to the Royal Forest. Which takes us to the actually chapter (Can you believe it? I'm procrastinating even as I'm writing this story!)
Little Alan walked and walked and walked through the dark forest. There was not a soul in sight (unless you counted the spiders on his boot.)
"Eek!" Alan kicked his boot off, sending the spiders flying through the air. He seemed to have developed his mother's fear of spiders.
Walking on, and pretending nothing out of the ordinary happened -which, by the way, hadn't- Alan by _chance_ came upon two small brick houses with piles of straws and sticks next to them.
He walked closer to the two houses, not sure of what to do. But being the curious boy that he was, walked up to one of the houses and knocked on the door.
Silence.
He knocked again.
More silence.
He knocked yet again.
It seemed Alan was very determined to get inside.
After waiting for quite a while, he resorted to kicking.
Oh Alan, when do you give up? And why do you want to get in so badly?
But back to the story. After finally accepting that the door was locked, Alan finally gave up. Gave up on the door, that is.
He walked around the small brick house, and spotted an open window. Grinning strangely, he squeezed through the tiny opening and found himself standing in front of a table. With three bowls of por- err, mush- sitting on it.
Now Alan was pleased with himself. He was rather hungry, and a free meal at the house-owner's expense couldn't hurt. So he sat his greedy self down on one of the chairs and spooned himself a big, err, spoonful, of por- I mean, mush.
And gave a startled yelp. The mush was hot!
(Which, I must say, is strange, because it's been sitting there for quite a long time. Could it be.the mush is cursed! But that's irrelevant to the story. Yes, getting back to it)
"This mush is too hot!"
Alan slammed the spoon down on the table, causing what mush that remained on the spoon to fly over his head and splatter onto the wall behind him.
Alan glanced back. What a lovely splatter mark he had made. Oh whatever, it wasn't his house anyway.
He then sat his greedy self in the next chair. And he found another bowl of mush in front of him. Hopefully, this time it wouldn't be as hot as the last.
It was stone cold.
"Ack! This mush is too cold!"
Again, Alan slammed the spoon on the table, again causing the remaining mush on the spoon to splatter on the wall behind him. It landed directly next to the previous splatter.
Alan, not giving a care, went to the next bowl. He eyed it warily, then deciding it looked safe, spooned some into his mouth.
Ah, just right!
Alan hungrily ate it all up. Well, almost all of it.
He looked at what remained in the bowl, and then at the wall behind him with his lovely mush-art.
Alan, being an artist at heart, decided to finish his incomplete masterpiece.
Dipping his finger in the mush bowl, he added a few lines to the two globs of mush on the wall.and voila! His newest master piece.
Alan stood back to admire his work. He called it "Mush the Mush."
Actually, it was nothing more than a big mess, but that's not important. Getting back to the plot.
Alan put the bowl down and stretched. Well.he could take a nap now. But out of the corner of his eye, a very comfortable looking chair caught his attention.
Now, where this chair came from, no one knows. After all, the owners of the house were only supposed to have 4 chairs, which were all placed around the table. So what was this chair, all the way across the room?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Moving on. Alan sat down on the chair and winced. Too hard.
Turning his head, he caught sight of yet another chair. Now, where this one came from, I have no clue.
Alan sat down in this chair, and sank down and down and down. Waaaay to soft.
Looking at the last chair (which seemed to be made out of sticks and glue) Alan didn't know what to make out of it. Ah, but it seemed just "made" for him! So without a second thought, he sat down. And heard splintering.
Alan landed on the floor, what remained of the chair under him.
He jumped to his feet and turned guiltily to the readers.
"You didn't just see that!"
Readers: Riiiight.
Alan flushed and ran out the house.
Now he stood in front of the second brick house.
Oh Alan, when will you learn?
Again Alan started banging on the door. Which obviously didn't do any good because OBVIOUSLY no one was home.
Just as Alan was about to kick the door, it magically creaked open. Creepy, isn't it?
Alan cautiously peered inside.
3 beds.
Perfect.
He was in need of a nap.
Alan plopped himself on the first bed.
"Oof!" Too hard! He sat up and rubbed his back. Sheesh, people these days.
Next bed. You know the drill, right? Too soft. He sank down and down and down and down.leaving a huge imprint of himself in the mattress. Down to one more bed.
Alan sat down on the edge of the mattress. He was seriously starting to wonder about the owner's taste of furniture.
After deciding he liked this last bed, Alan dove under the blankets and fell asleep.
Meanwhile.
Alianne, Thom, and Kalasin were making their way back home.
"Well, that was completely uneventful," Alianne said.
It was another boring afternoon for the three.
Boring down to the core.
As the three chatted away, a dark figure lurked in the shadows. Following.
* * *
And that's that! Really, that was a lame place to end it. Just remember that this is supposed to be a humor fic. Our 'menacing friend' won't be so menacing once I reveal him. So who is he? Feel free to guess.
Hmm.this chapter turned out to be a lot longer than I expected. There should be one more chapter following this. After that.I don't know. Need to think up another "creative" plot for another story. Suggestions are always welcomed! And flames will simply be used to roast marshmallows.
-Satiaus The famed procrastinator
Satiaus, the author (but you guessed that already, right?) finally wakes up after a 6 month nap.
Satiaus: Oh my God, what day is it?
Thom: It's already been half a year.
Satiaus: What? Are you serious? (looks at the calendar)
All the characters of the story wait patiently for the author's brain to start working again. Finally, it clicks.
Satiaus: OH NOOOOO!!!!!!
* * *
Eheh ^.^;;; Sooo.it's been a while. After procrastinating and lazing off, I have FINALLY decided to come back and finish this story, which has been lying around since January. And 'Bad Luck?' I have a major writer's block. But that would be obvious, wouldn't it? After all, I've disappeared off the face of FFN for half a year. Almost.
But.I'm back! I have no idea when I'll ever finish any of my other stories. So, after this, I'm gonna get back on track and whip up a new (attempted) humor story. Sorry, I don't think I'll ever be able to write a serious fanfic. Okay, enough rambling. Here's the next chapter of 'Alan Gone Adventuring.'
But first.the Disclaimer!
Kalasin: Satiaus does not own any of the characters in this story.
Thom: Or the messed up plot.
Satiuas: Hey!
Alianne: Moving on.
Satiaus: Oh, right. The story:
* * *
Alan Gone Adventuring
Chapter 6: Mush-Art and Magically Appearing Chairs (plus.a 'menacing friend')
We last left off with an encounter with Roald, who in this story universe works at the Dancing Dove. After a short chat with Alan, Roald directs our hero to the Royal Forest. Which takes us to the actually chapter (Can you believe it? I'm procrastinating even as I'm writing this story!)
Little Alan walked and walked and walked through the dark forest. There was not a soul in sight (unless you counted the spiders on his boot.)
"Eek!" Alan kicked his boot off, sending the spiders flying through the air. He seemed to have developed his mother's fear of spiders.
Walking on, and pretending nothing out of the ordinary happened -which, by the way, hadn't- Alan by _chance_ came upon two small brick houses with piles of straws and sticks next to them.
He walked closer to the two houses, not sure of what to do. But being the curious boy that he was, walked up to one of the houses and knocked on the door.
Silence.
He knocked again.
More silence.
He knocked yet again.
It seemed Alan was very determined to get inside.
After waiting for quite a while, he resorted to kicking.
Oh Alan, when do you give up? And why do you want to get in so badly?
But back to the story. After finally accepting that the door was locked, Alan finally gave up. Gave up on the door, that is.
He walked around the small brick house, and spotted an open window. Grinning strangely, he squeezed through the tiny opening and found himself standing in front of a table. With three bowls of por- err, mush- sitting on it.
Now Alan was pleased with himself. He was rather hungry, and a free meal at the house-owner's expense couldn't hurt. So he sat his greedy self down on one of the chairs and spooned himself a big, err, spoonful, of por- I mean, mush.
And gave a startled yelp. The mush was hot!
(Which, I must say, is strange, because it's been sitting there for quite a long time. Could it be.the mush is cursed! But that's irrelevant to the story. Yes, getting back to it)
"This mush is too hot!"
Alan slammed the spoon down on the table, causing what mush that remained on the spoon to fly over his head and splatter onto the wall behind him.
Alan glanced back. What a lovely splatter mark he had made. Oh whatever, it wasn't his house anyway.
He then sat his greedy self in the next chair. And he found another bowl of mush in front of him. Hopefully, this time it wouldn't be as hot as the last.
It was stone cold.
"Ack! This mush is too cold!"
Again, Alan slammed the spoon on the table, again causing the remaining mush on the spoon to splatter on the wall behind him. It landed directly next to the previous splatter.
Alan, not giving a care, went to the next bowl. He eyed it warily, then deciding it looked safe, spooned some into his mouth.
Ah, just right!
Alan hungrily ate it all up. Well, almost all of it.
He looked at what remained in the bowl, and then at the wall behind him with his lovely mush-art.
Alan, being an artist at heart, decided to finish his incomplete masterpiece.
Dipping his finger in the mush bowl, he added a few lines to the two globs of mush on the wall.and voila! His newest master piece.
Alan stood back to admire his work. He called it "Mush the Mush."
Actually, it was nothing more than a big mess, but that's not important. Getting back to the plot.
Alan put the bowl down and stretched. Well.he could take a nap now. But out of the corner of his eye, a very comfortable looking chair caught his attention.
Now, where this chair came from, no one knows. After all, the owners of the house were only supposed to have 4 chairs, which were all placed around the table. So what was this chair, all the way across the room?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Moving on. Alan sat down on the chair and winced. Too hard.
Turning his head, he caught sight of yet another chair. Now, where this one came from, I have no clue.
Alan sat down in this chair, and sank down and down and down. Waaaay to soft.
Looking at the last chair (which seemed to be made out of sticks and glue) Alan didn't know what to make out of it. Ah, but it seemed just "made" for him! So without a second thought, he sat down. And heard splintering.
Alan landed on the floor, what remained of the chair under him.
He jumped to his feet and turned guiltily to the readers.
"You didn't just see that!"
Readers: Riiiight.
Alan flushed and ran out the house.
Now he stood in front of the second brick house.
Oh Alan, when will you learn?
Again Alan started banging on the door. Which obviously didn't do any good because OBVIOUSLY no one was home.
Just as Alan was about to kick the door, it magically creaked open. Creepy, isn't it?
Alan cautiously peered inside.
3 beds.
Perfect.
He was in need of a nap.
Alan plopped himself on the first bed.
"Oof!" Too hard! He sat up and rubbed his back. Sheesh, people these days.
Next bed. You know the drill, right? Too soft. He sank down and down and down and down.leaving a huge imprint of himself in the mattress. Down to one more bed.
Alan sat down on the edge of the mattress. He was seriously starting to wonder about the owner's taste of furniture.
After deciding he liked this last bed, Alan dove under the blankets and fell asleep.
Meanwhile.
Alianne, Thom, and Kalasin were making their way back home.
"Well, that was completely uneventful," Alianne said.
It was another boring afternoon for the three.
Boring down to the core.
As the three chatted away, a dark figure lurked in the shadows. Following.
* * *
And that's that! Really, that was a lame place to end it. Just remember that this is supposed to be a humor fic. Our 'menacing friend' won't be so menacing once I reveal him. So who is he? Feel free to guess.
Hmm.this chapter turned out to be a lot longer than I expected. There should be one more chapter following this. After that.I don't know. Need to think up another "creative" plot for another story. Suggestions are always welcomed! And flames will simply be used to roast marshmallows.
-Satiaus The famed procrastinator