"Back."
Part sixteen of the "What
Am I?" series.
Rating: R. for the entire
series.
Spoilers: I don't have the
time or the energy to go through and state exactly what spoilers are contained
in my fics just assume that anything that has aired in the US is fair game.
Disclaimers: Joss owns everything
fun. I only borrow it for a while.
Feedback: Let me know what
you think. (ladyduvessa19@icqmail.com)
He sat there in the church, thinking. As much as he hated the fact that Aurora and Drusilla were in town he was glad that Aurora told Buffy what she did. Buffy needed to know what happened to her when she came back. Spike was still a little confused about the DerTöter demon. It made sense though. The soul purpose of a DerTöter demon was to kill. He supposed that having the DerTöter powers along with a human soul was what made the slayer feel it was her duty to rid the world of the demons. It didn't really matter. She was still the same. Still Buffy. But he knew that it all mattered to her.
"She's gone." Spike heard a voice say from behind him.
"Thought you had gone too." Spike said as he turned to face Drusilla. He wasn't in the mood for her.
"Come with me Spike. Don't let her ruin you." Dru said.
"In case you didn't get it the last time you were here. I bloody love her. I'm not leaving her for you or for anyone else for that matter so if that's what you came for you should just go." Spike turned away from her.
"She doesn't love you." Dru stated. Spike didn't say anything back he knew that Buffy didn't love him. Or if she did she wouldn't admit it. So Dru continued on. "We could be a family again."
"Why don't you just give that up? It's not going to happen. Peaches has a soul, Darla sacrificed herself for a bloody baby, and me… I'm in love with the slayer. You're the only one left." Spike walked towards the door.
"I'm never the only one. I have Aurora. And I'll have you. It will all be back to the way it was. You'll see." Dru said as Spike walked out the door.
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Spike found himself heading to the Magic Box. He figured that when Buffy was done being alone that's where she would end up. When he opened the door and stepped inside, but no one noticed him. They were all standing close together saying things like "Oh how adorable." He walked closer to them and then he saw what they were all gawking at. Cordelia stood in the middle of the group holding a baby.
"Oh wook at his ittle widdle hands." Xander said.
"You know people can hear you Harris." Spike said laughing under his breath.
"Oh right." Xander replied stepping back from the baby.
"This must mean Angels come to save the day." Spike said referring to the fact that Cordelia was there.
"He just thought he could help." Cordelia said.
"So this must be Angels little prophecy child. Huh?" Spike asked.
"Yep this is Connor." Cordelia stated.
"Connor?!? What the hell kind of name is that. No brother of mine…" Spike was cut off by Cordelia.
"Brother?? Where do you get that from?"
"Well yeah. He's Darla's isn't he?" Spike asked.
"Yeah. But how does that make him your brother. Wouldn't he be more like an uncle or something?" Cordy asked.
"Can't be. He's too small. No brother works better." Spike said.
"No wonder I can't ever figure out a vampires family tree. They just kind of make it up as they go along." Xander said.
"So can I hold him?" Spike asked.
"NO." Cordy yelled.
"Oh come on now. I won't teach him anything bad….. Yet." Spike said.
Cordelia gave him a dirty look and handed the baby off to Willow. Willow only had Connor for about 5 seconds before Anya said. "Let Xander hold the baby."
"I think Willow's doing just fine An." Xander said.
"Yes, but you need the practice. How are we ever supposed to have children if you don't ever get to even hold a baby." Anya stated.
"You don't exactly hold babies all that often either." Xander said.
"No, but I know how. I'm a woman. It's what we do." Anya replied.
"So how soon exactly did you plan on having children?" Xander asked.
"As soon as possible. We're not going to live forever you know. If Buffy hadn't have gotten kidnapped we would be married right now. And on our honeymoon. I figured we would have tried to start a family then." Anya said.
Spike saw fear in Xander's eyes. "Looks like your bride has your whole life planned out for you Harris."
"Shut up Spike." Xander said.
"Right then. Any of you seen Buffy yet." Spike asked.
"She's in the training room." Willow said as she was trying to get Connors hand untangled from her hair.
Spike walked across the Magic Box to the training room in the back. He opened the door and walked in. Buffy's back was to his, her head was resting on Angels chest. Angels hands were on her back. Embracing her. Angels hands moved from her back to her face. Then Angel leaned in and kissed Buffy. Spike couldn't watch anymore. He turned around and walked past everyone still gawking at Connor. "Where are you going Spike?" Dawn asked, but Spike didn't answer. He just stormed out the door. Slamming it behind him.
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Spike walked down the street with visions of what he had just seen running through his mind. How could she do this? Why did she do this? It was always about Angel. Why did he think that she had forgotten him? Why did he think that she would choose him over Angel? Why was he so bloody stupid?
He was back at the church where they had been held. He lifted one of the pews up and threw it towards the alter. Then he began yelling to himself, to no one. "Can't love Spike he's a demon. But not Angel. Angels good. Angels got a soul. Yeah well fuck the soul. I could have given her everything. Do you hear me everything. But it's never good enough. It'll never be good enough for her." He ripped a cross off the wall and threw it threw a window. As the glass shattered Drusilla entered the room.
"I knew you'd come back." She said reaching for his hand.
"You know what. I think I
just did." Spike said his face vamping out. Aurora entered the room and
Spike put his arms around the two girls and they walked out of the church.
Part 15 || Part 17