"The Dream."

"The Dream."
Part nineteen of the "What Am I?" series.
Rating: R. for the entire series.
Spoilers: I don't have the time or the energy to go through and state exactly what spoilers are contained in my fics just assume that anything that has aired in the US is fair game.
Disclaimers: Joss owns everything fun. I only borrow it for a while.
Feedback: Let me know what you think. (ladyduvessa19@icqmail.com)

He started to get second thoughts. The look of disappointment in Dawn's eyes as he drugged her had gotten to him. She trusted him, even if her sister didn't. She was the one person who didn't treat him like some sort of freak. They never gave her enough credit. She was wise beyond her years. The whole Scooby gang could learn a lot of things from her. But he decided that it didn't matter. He needed to do this for himself. He needed the freedom. He needed to have the upper hand.

He could hear Drusilla's screams from inside the coffin he had her trapped in. He looked at Aurora who was still unconscious. Then he took one last look at Dawn who sat there helpless. Then he went downstairs and continued to drink. With each bottle he finished Spike thought that he became more insightful. He babbled to himself mostly about Buffy and why she couldn't accept him. He had looked at every possible reason. He was evil. She was scared. Or maybe it was just because she didn't actually want to be happy.

"I think I've finally got it now. It's the whole bleedin' superhero complex." He said rather impressed that he had come up with it. And then he hit the floor and was thrown into a fitful sleep. Thoughts bounced off one another in his head. Spinning making him dizzy. Everything's blurry. The dark unfocused visions of his mind fade into one. Coming through clearly with sound.

"She's a special one. For you. Go to her." He was seated across a table from Drusilla. They were in a pub. One that he remembered. He was back in the 1950's. He could tell because of the conversations about baseball the men next to him were having. It was a classy pub. The women all wore dresses and the men all in suits. And there he sat in his faded black pants, black t-shirt, and the leather duster he didn't acquire until 1977.

"Go to her." Dru said again and he turned to look in the direction her empty eyes were staring in. There she sat. The biggest mistake he ever made. Then suddenly he was no longer sitting in the pub, but in the alleyway behind it. Aurora was standing there moving her hair away from her neck. Exposing her flesh. He walked closer to her. Her eyes drawing him in. He knew she wanted it. He was replaying that night. Everything was the same. He stopped in front of her and she spoke.

"I'm not afraid. I know who you are. What you are. Don't you want me? Take me." It was Aurora standing in front of him, but her voice was Buffy's. He felt his game face come out and he tried to fight it, but didn't succeed. Aurora placed her hands around his head and forced him to her neck. He unwillingly sunk into her. Everything happened exactly the same. From the way she wanted him to the way she tasted. He felt her life begin to slip out of her and at that moment he didn't want her to go away. He slit his wrist and brought his blood to her mouth while he continued to drain her at the neck. When her life was fully gone he released his fangs from her neck. He felt her suck at the blood from his wrist. It was enough. She would be turned. He pushed her down to the ground and as she hit the cold dirty cement she turned into Buffy. She lay there motionless. Empty. Dead.

Fear filled him. He turned and looked for help. He tried to yell, but nothing. Then the alley was gone and he was in his crypt. In his bed. Naked. Tied to the bedposts unable to move. Buffy was there. She licked up his chest from his bellybutton to his neck. Then she lifted herself off him and looked into his eyes. "You're killing me." She said before fading into Aurora.

"It's your fault." Aurora said. And then he was gone. His surroundings turned into the Magic Box. Cordelia stood in the center of the room with the baby. It was dark and no one was there, yet they were having the same conversation they had the day when everyone was gawking at Connor.

"Connor?!? What the hell kind of name is that. No brother of mine…" Spike was cut off by Cordelia.

"Brother?? Where do you get that from?" Cordelia said and then the baby fell out of her hands. He tried to catch it but missed. Connor landed on his head. His neck snapped. And then they were gone. It was day. The light was shining into the Magic Box and he wasn't bursting into flames. A little boy was running and laughing. The boy stopped right in front of him and screamed.

"MOMMY"

And then she appeared behind the boy. "What's the matter Connor?" Buffy asked.

"It's the one who killed us." The boy said.

"I didn't kill you." Spike said, but they didn't listen. The boy was gone and Angel appeared by Buffy's side. Buffy had a baby in her hands.

"We're a family now. Angel gave me everything. My monster, my man, my son." Buffy said clutching the baby. Blood dripped from her neck onto the blanket the baby was wrapped in. Spike could taste her blood in his mouth. Then he noticed blood was smeared across her face and his wrist was bleeding.

Then he was back in the alleyway of the pub. Buffy's body lay motionless on the cement. Her eyes opened. They were glowing yellow and she reached to her mouth and examined her new fangs. She started to walk to him.

"SPIKE!" She screamed. "SPIKE!" She screamed again. Then the scream became louder. "SPIKE!" He was pulled back into reality. His eyes shot open. It was Dawn screaming.

He reached the upper level of his crypt within seconds. From the intensity of her screams he had thought that Dru or Aurora had gotten loose and were attacking her, but that wasn't the case. Dru was still very much in the coffin and Aurora still unconscious. Then Dawn spoke. "Finally. I've only been screaming your name for like five minutes."

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothings wrong. I just thought that if you were going to hold me hostage the least you could do was keep me company." She said.

"You're not mad."

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not exactly forgiving you for dragging me and drugging me. I would have been your bait if you would have just asked." Dawn said.

"My bait?" he asked.

"Yeah. That is what I am aren't I? You're trying to use me to lure Buffy here. Not the first time it's happened to me."

"Ok. Sorry. The next time I want to use you as bait I'll ask you first."

"That's all I ask. So do you mind telling me why you need me as bait?" she asked.

"I'm not going to hurt you 'lil bit. That's all you need to know."

"Well could you at least untie me for awhile? My hands are killing me."

"NO. Buffy's gonna be coming any minute. And you're going to play the terrified little hostage." He said turning to go back down stairs. The images of his dream still haunting his thoughts.

Part 18 || Part 20