Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: Originally I was going to include the whole conversation in this chapter but for the sake of those who can't stand the fact I procrastinate and therefore take too long to finish/post things I split it up.
Acknowledgements: To Didi and Hanspam, who put up with my strangeness.
Chapter 1
"How do you think he is, really?" Kim asked, reaching across the table to take Tommy's hand when he let out a long sigh.
"I don't know. I used to be able to read him like a book but now I'm not sure. As far as I can tell he's okay but I could be wrong. He's dealing with this too well." Tommy cast a glance down the hall.
"Maybe it hasn't really sunk in yet. I mean, he's known for, what, all of three days now? It can't be an easy thing to accept or get used to." Kim suggested. She knew that it bothered Tommy when someone he loved was hurt and right now that someone was Jason. In Tommy's eyes Jason was immediate family and no one had ever been able to waver that belief of his.
"Yeah, but if he's hurting and just won't show it or I can't see it..." Tommy sighed again. "I wish I could have gotten to talk to him a bit more."
"He was exhausted, Tommy. He nearly fell asleep in the car on the way here last night. That's probably why he seemed so okay. He was half asleep when we picked him up." Kim told her husband, hoping to reassure him.
Tommy nodded, hoping she was right. It was true. Jason had been basically asleep on his feet when they picked him up from the airport. His plane had been delayed for more than two hours, they nearly had to land somewhere to refuel, and Jason could not sleep on planes. Before that he had been examined one last time by the base doctors and that was after he reluctantly attended a hastily put together farewell party his squad had thrown him. Couple that with everything he had been going through in the last two weeks and it was easy to see why Jason eager to actually get some real rest.
Tommy was very glad he had insisted that he and Kim would come pick their friend up. Two days ago, in the wee hours of the morning, when Jason had dropped the bombshell on his two friends, it was all Tommy could do to stay put and not do something sooner. As Jason had gone on in an unsteady voice to tell him the details of what had happened, including the fact that it had taken two weeks of testing to confirm that his loss of vision was permanent and that there was nothing to be done about it, Tommy had been all set to come drive or fly to the base a pick him up.
Instead he had kept his emotions unwraps and listened to Jason in silence before asking, "Who's picking you up at the airport?"
"I'm taking a cab to the hotel I'm staying at until I can find an apartment to rent," Jason had replied.
"Nonsense. What time does your flight get in? Kim and I will be there to bring you back here. You can stay with us for as long as you want." Tommy had immediately offered.
Jason had tried to protest but Tommy wouldn't hear it. Now, two days later, the married couple of two years was sitting at their kitchen table, nursing their second cup of coffee each, while Jason slept on in the guestroom. Jason had been too tired to even notice that their meeting at the airport last night was a little awkward.
When he had first spotted his friend, Tommy had raised his arm to wave him over but then realized what he was doing and blushed fiercely. Instead he made his way toward his friend calling when he got close enough to be heard. "Jase!"
Jason turned at the sound of his name and for a moment Tommy forgot about why the burly young man had come back to Angel Grove. Seeing his long time best friend was too wonderful for anything else to get in their way. The two hadn't been able to get together as often as they had wanted to over the past few years but every time they did they were as inseparable as when they were teenagers.
"It's good to see you, man," Tommy said now standing next to the erstwhile Red Ranger.
"It's been far too long, bro," Jason smiled wearily, looking in the direction he thought Tommy was standing. He was only a few centimetres off and, because his eyes were covered by dark glasses, neither man noticed that he was actually looking over Tommy's shoulder.
Tommy wasted no time in enfolding Jason in a bear hug that was returned without hesitation. Jason was rather glad that Tommy had initiated the brotherly embrace. It was usually his first move when seeing any good friend but he wasn't entirely sure he had been looking in the right direction and didn't want to end up trying to hug the air. Adjusting to his new condition was proving hard for the one time Gold Ranger.
"Hey Jason," Kim stood on her tip toes and wrapped her arms around Jason's neck before he even knew she was there.
"Hey Kim, how have you been?" Jason asked.
"Good." She replied hooking her arm through his free one. "Let's get out of the airport though. You look tired."
"I am. I've never liked flying all that much." Jason remarked evenly.
Tommy looked at Kim a little strangely when she kept her arm hooked in Jason's as they began to make their way to the exit. He opened his mouth to say something but a glare from Kim cut him off. It wasn't until Kim pulled Jason over a little to avoid another person that Tommy realized with a jolt she was guiding him. He hadn't even thought of that.
They made small talk as the pulled out of the airport and onto the highway which was pretty clear because of the hour. They were half way to Tommy and Kim's home when Kim glanced back in the rearview mirror and noticed Jason leaning against the window, still wearing a dark pair of glasses he had had on ever since they first saw him coming off the plane. She frowned slightly, wondering why he was wearing them in the first place.
"You might be more comfortable if you took off the shades, Jase" Kim mentioned quietly.
Jason hesitated before telling them, "Uh...well, I'd rather keep them on. My eyes...well there's some scarring. Bad scarring. It's not something you'd want to look at, or so I've been told. It's easier for me to wear shades than to keep my eyes closed all the time."
"Oh," was all Kim said for a reply.
"You don't have to hide them, Jase, not from us." Tommy told him.
"I...I know but, if it's all the same to you guys, I'd still rather wear them for now, at least." Jason replied almost uncertainly.
Tommy and Kim exchanged glances before Kim spoke keeping her voice light and cheerful. "Sure, if you'd be more comfortable that way than it's fine."
They lapsed into a slightly uneasy silence after that, each of them lost in their own thoughts until they pulled into the driveway of the apartment complex where the married couple currently lived.
"We're here!" Kim announced smiling as cheerfully as she could.
Tommy was getting Jason's bag out of the back when Jason spoke, "Uh...Guys? I...well, I need a little help finding my way around."
Tommy glanced up to see his friend standing by the car door a little unsure of himself. He had managed to get out of the car just fine but had no idea which way the building was or where the door was or where the elevators where or a huge number of things he could have seen before. Kim was already half way across the parking lot, going to unlock the back door. Tommy quickly slung the bag over his shoulder and went to stand beside his friend.
Tommy put a hand on Jason's back and ushered him in the right direction. "It's good to have you home, Jase. I missed you a lot. I just wish the circumstances were better."
Jason sighed softly. "Me too. I'm glad to be home, that is and I missed you. Thank you for letting me stay with you until I can find my own place."
"No problem, bro." Tommy replied. "You've got a room here as long as you need one."
They had gotten upstairs and into the apartment without a problem. Tommy had shown Jason his room and offered him a slightly late dinner. Jason had agreed but when Kim went to see what was keeping him twenty minutes later she found him sprawled out on the bed, still fully clothed and fast asleep. Very quietly, so not to disturb him, she had removed his shoes, socks, jeans and glasses, putting the shades on the bedside table so he would be able to find them easily in the morning, before throwing a quilt over him. Knowing that Jason would probably be dead to the world for some time they had both gone to bed shortly after.
Now they sat at their kitchen table, nursing their second cup of morning coffee each and wondering how they were going to proceed. Tommy was just starting to consider the idea of waking his friend up when Jason appeared at the end of the hallway. He stayed close to the side with a hand on the wall, using it to guide him. He smiled uncertainly, having heard the voices or his friends but unsure of what obstacles lay between him and them.
Taking a deep breath, Jason decided to chance it. He only stumbled once when he walked into the coffee table. Tommy offered his assistance but Jason politely declined, knowing that he had to start figured out how to get around on his own. He made it to the table and thankfully sat down in a chair he had to feel for to locate.
Neither Tommy nor Kim commented on the slight trouble Jason had had, past Tommy's offer to help. They didn't know how to breach the topic of Jason's disability with him. Last night they had decided that it might be best if Tommy had a chance to talk to him alone, before they made real light of it.
"How are you feeling today, bro?" Tommy asked as Kim disappeared into the kitchen.
"Better. I can't remember the last time I've been quite that tired. I was a bit out of it by the time we got here, wasn't I?" Jason smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."
"No problem, I know just the way you can make it up to me," Kim announced, appearing with a plate full of eggs. "My brilliant husband here," Kim paused to shoot a glare at her lover, "decided to make breakfast this morning. Only he had pudding for brains and made enough to feed an army, or a starving Rocky, instead of for three people. You can help put a dent in it."
Jason laughed as Kim put the plate down in front of him with a clunk. "You mean you haven't completely barred him from the kitchen yet? I'm surprised."
Tommy snorted. "If she did that than we would never eat at all."
"Excuse me, I can cook perfectly fine thank you! However," Kim scowled and playfully swatted at her husband, "you, Thomas James Oliver, are an impossibly bad cook!"
"Hey, I don't see you dropping dead from food poisoning now and I did make the eggs." Tommy shot back.
"That doesn't mean I ate them." Kim giggled.
"No, she fed them to me!" Jason chimed in. "But I have to say they're better than what I've been eating lately. Shesh. It wasn't just hospital food, but it was army hospital food. You don't get much lower than that."
"Believe me, Tommy could do it!" Kim said with a teasing smirk.
"Oh sure, let's all gang up on Tommy this morning." The object of their teasing grumbled.
Both Kim and Jason grinned wickedly at the same time. They were close enough to know the *really* good stuff they could use as ammunition. Tommy glanced first at his wife and than at his best friend before throwing his hands up in surrender. "Okay, I'm a bad cook! I know when to quit! I can't win with you two against me!"
"You better!" Kim warned even as she bent down to plant a quick kiss on his lips. Tommy smiled when she drew away. 'Sure she didn't eat the eggs!' He thought. 'I can still taste them in her mouth!'
"What are you grinning like that for?" Kim giggled.
Tommy shrugged, still smiling. "No reason."
Kim raised her eyebrow, debating whether to pursue the comment or not. The beeping of her watch decided for her. "Oh shit! I'm late! Trini will have my hide!"
"Trini?" Jason echoed. "Is she in town?"
"Yep. She's moving back at the end of the month." Kim replied. "She's apartment hunting all this week. I'm taking you and her out on Thursday at noon."
Kim said it so matter of factly that Jason had to laugh. "When were you planning to tell me that?"
"Thursday. At noon." Kim replied as she grabbed her purse, kissed Jason on the cheek and Tommy on the lips before flying out the door with a quick call of goodbye as she went.
Tommy shook his head at his over-energetic wife. He had had most the last ten years to get used to the whirlwind that was Kim, she seemed to get a bit worse every year and all of the former Rangers agreed that living with Tommy had started to affect her memory. She was now often late, though not all that forgetful. Tommy still held that trait all for himself.
But today's quick flight out the door had been planned. She had wanted to see Jason before she left to meet Trini for lunch, at least long enough to make him feel a bit more at home, but had also decided it would probably be easier if he had the chance to talk privately with Tommy.
Jason just smiled a bit bemused at the couple's antics. He knew what Tommy and Kim were like together and was even okay with the fact they were playing things up a little for his sake. He wasn't sure how to proceed either and if this was how they dealt with what had happened that was fine with him. It actually made him feel better. He was well aware that his life would be a little different from now on, though he planned to make that difference as small as possible, and was grateful that his friends were making the effort to treat him as they normally would.
But Jason could also tell that Kim's exit had been a bit staged. That meant his conversation with Tommy was going to be a serious one. He didn't mind, knowing that things, mainly his future, had to be addressed and he would rather talk about it sooner than later.
Jason sighed softly and set down his fork and knife, absently running a hand through his dark hair. Tommy reached over the table and took his other hand, squeezing it gently.
Tommy's tone was gentle and concerned when he inquired, "How are you feeling, Jason? Really."
Jason smiled sadly. "I honestly don't know. What am I supposed to feel? I mean, my whole world has just been turned upside down, everything I ever planned to do will have to be altered because I just can't do what I used to be able to. I can't even cross a room yet without tripping. Everything in my life is so muddled right now and I don't know if I'll ever get it all straightened out. I should feel sad or angry or let down and at some level I probably do but I don't. I don't know what I'm feeling or what it is I should be feeling. I just..." Jason shook his head, unable to make sense enough of his emotions to put them into words. "I don't know. I just don't know anymore."
Author's Notes: Originally I was going to include the whole conversation in this chapter but for the sake of those who can't stand the fact I procrastinate and therefore take too long to finish/post things I split it up.
Acknowledgements: To Didi and Hanspam, who put up with my strangeness.
Chapter 1
"How do you think he is, really?" Kim asked, reaching across the table to take Tommy's hand when he let out a long sigh.
"I don't know. I used to be able to read him like a book but now I'm not sure. As far as I can tell he's okay but I could be wrong. He's dealing with this too well." Tommy cast a glance down the hall.
"Maybe it hasn't really sunk in yet. I mean, he's known for, what, all of three days now? It can't be an easy thing to accept or get used to." Kim suggested. She knew that it bothered Tommy when someone he loved was hurt and right now that someone was Jason. In Tommy's eyes Jason was immediate family and no one had ever been able to waver that belief of his.
"Yeah, but if he's hurting and just won't show it or I can't see it..." Tommy sighed again. "I wish I could have gotten to talk to him a bit more."
"He was exhausted, Tommy. He nearly fell asleep in the car on the way here last night. That's probably why he seemed so okay. He was half asleep when we picked him up." Kim told her husband, hoping to reassure him.
Tommy nodded, hoping she was right. It was true. Jason had been basically asleep on his feet when they picked him up from the airport. His plane had been delayed for more than two hours, they nearly had to land somewhere to refuel, and Jason could not sleep on planes. Before that he had been examined one last time by the base doctors and that was after he reluctantly attended a hastily put together farewell party his squad had thrown him. Couple that with everything he had been going through in the last two weeks and it was easy to see why Jason eager to actually get some real rest.
Tommy was very glad he had insisted that he and Kim would come pick their friend up. Two days ago, in the wee hours of the morning, when Jason had dropped the bombshell on his two friends, it was all Tommy could do to stay put and not do something sooner. As Jason had gone on in an unsteady voice to tell him the details of what had happened, including the fact that it had taken two weeks of testing to confirm that his loss of vision was permanent and that there was nothing to be done about it, Tommy had been all set to come drive or fly to the base a pick him up.
Instead he had kept his emotions unwraps and listened to Jason in silence before asking, "Who's picking you up at the airport?"
"I'm taking a cab to the hotel I'm staying at until I can find an apartment to rent," Jason had replied.
"Nonsense. What time does your flight get in? Kim and I will be there to bring you back here. You can stay with us for as long as you want." Tommy had immediately offered.
Jason had tried to protest but Tommy wouldn't hear it. Now, two days later, the married couple of two years was sitting at their kitchen table, nursing their second cup of coffee each, while Jason slept on in the guestroom. Jason had been too tired to even notice that their meeting at the airport last night was a little awkward.
When he had first spotted his friend, Tommy had raised his arm to wave him over but then realized what he was doing and blushed fiercely. Instead he made his way toward his friend calling when he got close enough to be heard. "Jase!"
Jason turned at the sound of his name and for a moment Tommy forgot about why the burly young man had come back to Angel Grove. Seeing his long time best friend was too wonderful for anything else to get in their way. The two hadn't been able to get together as often as they had wanted to over the past few years but every time they did they were as inseparable as when they were teenagers.
"It's good to see you, man," Tommy said now standing next to the erstwhile Red Ranger.
"It's been far too long, bro," Jason smiled wearily, looking in the direction he thought Tommy was standing. He was only a few centimetres off and, because his eyes were covered by dark glasses, neither man noticed that he was actually looking over Tommy's shoulder.
Tommy wasted no time in enfolding Jason in a bear hug that was returned without hesitation. Jason was rather glad that Tommy had initiated the brotherly embrace. It was usually his first move when seeing any good friend but he wasn't entirely sure he had been looking in the right direction and didn't want to end up trying to hug the air. Adjusting to his new condition was proving hard for the one time Gold Ranger.
"Hey Jason," Kim stood on her tip toes and wrapped her arms around Jason's neck before he even knew she was there.
"Hey Kim, how have you been?" Jason asked.
"Good." She replied hooking her arm through his free one. "Let's get out of the airport though. You look tired."
"I am. I've never liked flying all that much." Jason remarked evenly.
Tommy looked at Kim a little strangely when she kept her arm hooked in Jason's as they began to make their way to the exit. He opened his mouth to say something but a glare from Kim cut him off. It wasn't until Kim pulled Jason over a little to avoid another person that Tommy realized with a jolt she was guiding him. He hadn't even thought of that.
They made small talk as the pulled out of the airport and onto the highway which was pretty clear because of the hour. They were half way to Tommy and Kim's home when Kim glanced back in the rearview mirror and noticed Jason leaning against the window, still wearing a dark pair of glasses he had had on ever since they first saw him coming off the plane. She frowned slightly, wondering why he was wearing them in the first place.
"You might be more comfortable if you took off the shades, Jase" Kim mentioned quietly.
Jason hesitated before telling them, "Uh...well, I'd rather keep them on. My eyes...well there's some scarring. Bad scarring. It's not something you'd want to look at, or so I've been told. It's easier for me to wear shades than to keep my eyes closed all the time."
"Oh," was all Kim said for a reply.
"You don't have to hide them, Jase, not from us." Tommy told him.
"I...I know but, if it's all the same to you guys, I'd still rather wear them for now, at least." Jason replied almost uncertainly.
Tommy and Kim exchanged glances before Kim spoke keeping her voice light and cheerful. "Sure, if you'd be more comfortable that way than it's fine."
They lapsed into a slightly uneasy silence after that, each of them lost in their own thoughts until they pulled into the driveway of the apartment complex where the married couple currently lived.
"We're here!" Kim announced smiling as cheerfully as she could.
Tommy was getting Jason's bag out of the back when Jason spoke, "Uh...Guys? I...well, I need a little help finding my way around."
Tommy glanced up to see his friend standing by the car door a little unsure of himself. He had managed to get out of the car just fine but had no idea which way the building was or where the door was or where the elevators where or a huge number of things he could have seen before. Kim was already half way across the parking lot, going to unlock the back door. Tommy quickly slung the bag over his shoulder and went to stand beside his friend.
Tommy put a hand on Jason's back and ushered him in the right direction. "It's good to have you home, Jase. I missed you a lot. I just wish the circumstances were better."
Jason sighed softly. "Me too. I'm glad to be home, that is and I missed you. Thank you for letting me stay with you until I can find my own place."
"No problem, bro." Tommy replied. "You've got a room here as long as you need one."
They had gotten upstairs and into the apartment without a problem. Tommy had shown Jason his room and offered him a slightly late dinner. Jason had agreed but when Kim went to see what was keeping him twenty minutes later she found him sprawled out on the bed, still fully clothed and fast asleep. Very quietly, so not to disturb him, she had removed his shoes, socks, jeans and glasses, putting the shades on the bedside table so he would be able to find them easily in the morning, before throwing a quilt over him. Knowing that Jason would probably be dead to the world for some time they had both gone to bed shortly after.
Now they sat at their kitchen table, nursing their second cup of morning coffee each and wondering how they were going to proceed. Tommy was just starting to consider the idea of waking his friend up when Jason appeared at the end of the hallway. He stayed close to the side with a hand on the wall, using it to guide him. He smiled uncertainly, having heard the voices or his friends but unsure of what obstacles lay between him and them.
Taking a deep breath, Jason decided to chance it. He only stumbled once when he walked into the coffee table. Tommy offered his assistance but Jason politely declined, knowing that he had to start figured out how to get around on his own. He made it to the table and thankfully sat down in a chair he had to feel for to locate.
Neither Tommy nor Kim commented on the slight trouble Jason had had, past Tommy's offer to help. They didn't know how to breach the topic of Jason's disability with him. Last night they had decided that it might be best if Tommy had a chance to talk to him alone, before they made real light of it.
"How are you feeling today, bro?" Tommy asked as Kim disappeared into the kitchen.
"Better. I can't remember the last time I've been quite that tired. I was a bit out of it by the time we got here, wasn't I?" Jason smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."
"No problem, I know just the way you can make it up to me," Kim announced, appearing with a plate full of eggs. "My brilliant husband here," Kim paused to shoot a glare at her lover, "decided to make breakfast this morning. Only he had pudding for brains and made enough to feed an army, or a starving Rocky, instead of for three people. You can help put a dent in it."
Jason laughed as Kim put the plate down in front of him with a clunk. "You mean you haven't completely barred him from the kitchen yet? I'm surprised."
Tommy snorted. "If she did that than we would never eat at all."
"Excuse me, I can cook perfectly fine thank you! However," Kim scowled and playfully swatted at her husband, "you, Thomas James Oliver, are an impossibly bad cook!"
"Hey, I don't see you dropping dead from food poisoning now and I did make the eggs." Tommy shot back.
"That doesn't mean I ate them." Kim giggled.
"No, she fed them to me!" Jason chimed in. "But I have to say they're better than what I've been eating lately. Shesh. It wasn't just hospital food, but it was army hospital food. You don't get much lower than that."
"Believe me, Tommy could do it!" Kim said with a teasing smirk.
"Oh sure, let's all gang up on Tommy this morning." The object of their teasing grumbled.
Both Kim and Jason grinned wickedly at the same time. They were close enough to know the *really* good stuff they could use as ammunition. Tommy glanced first at his wife and than at his best friend before throwing his hands up in surrender. "Okay, I'm a bad cook! I know when to quit! I can't win with you two against me!"
"You better!" Kim warned even as she bent down to plant a quick kiss on his lips. Tommy smiled when she drew away. 'Sure she didn't eat the eggs!' He thought. 'I can still taste them in her mouth!'
"What are you grinning like that for?" Kim giggled.
Tommy shrugged, still smiling. "No reason."
Kim raised her eyebrow, debating whether to pursue the comment or not. The beeping of her watch decided for her. "Oh shit! I'm late! Trini will have my hide!"
"Trini?" Jason echoed. "Is she in town?"
"Yep. She's moving back at the end of the month." Kim replied. "She's apartment hunting all this week. I'm taking you and her out on Thursday at noon."
Kim said it so matter of factly that Jason had to laugh. "When were you planning to tell me that?"
"Thursday. At noon." Kim replied as she grabbed her purse, kissed Jason on the cheek and Tommy on the lips before flying out the door with a quick call of goodbye as she went.
Tommy shook his head at his over-energetic wife. He had had most the last ten years to get used to the whirlwind that was Kim, she seemed to get a bit worse every year and all of the former Rangers agreed that living with Tommy had started to affect her memory. She was now often late, though not all that forgetful. Tommy still held that trait all for himself.
But today's quick flight out the door had been planned. She had wanted to see Jason before she left to meet Trini for lunch, at least long enough to make him feel a bit more at home, but had also decided it would probably be easier if he had the chance to talk privately with Tommy.
Jason just smiled a bit bemused at the couple's antics. He knew what Tommy and Kim were like together and was even okay with the fact they were playing things up a little for his sake. He wasn't sure how to proceed either and if this was how they dealt with what had happened that was fine with him. It actually made him feel better. He was well aware that his life would be a little different from now on, though he planned to make that difference as small as possible, and was grateful that his friends were making the effort to treat him as they normally would.
But Jason could also tell that Kim's exit had been a bit staged. That meant his conversation with Tommy was going to be a serious one. He didn't mind, knowing that things, mainly his future, had to be addressed and he would rather talk about it sooner than later.
Jason sighed softly and set down his fork and knife, absently running a hand through his dark hair. Tommy reached over the table and took his other hand, squeezing it gently.
Tommy's tone was gentle and concerned when he inquired, "How are you feeling, Jason? Really."
Jason smiled sadly. "I honestly don't know. What am I supposed to feel? I mean, my whole world has just been turned upside down, everything I ever planned to do will have to be altered because I just can't do what I used to be able to. I can't even cross a room yet without tripping. Everything in my life is so muddled right now and I don't know if I'll ever get it all straightened out. I should feel sad or angry or let down and at some level I probably do but I don't. I don't know what I'm feeling or what it is I should be feeling. I just..." Jason shook his head, unable to make sense enough of his emotions to put them into words. "I don't know. I just don't know anymore."