"Admissions."

"Admissions."
Part twenty-four of the "What Am I?" series.
Rating: R. for the entire series.
Spoilers: I don't have the time or the energy to go through and state exactly what spoilers are contained in my fics just assume that anything that has aired in the US is fair game.
Disclaimers: Joss owns everything fun. I only borrow it for a while.
Feedback: Let me know what you think. (ladyduvessa19@icqmail.com)

Their walk had been pretty silent. Spike didn't tell Buffy he had set his crypt on fire. He didn't think that she needed to know. It was something he needed to do for himself. He had to say goodbye to Drusilla. Even though they had been long since over she was his sire and there would always be a connection. And he knew that despite the fact that he had given up on their connection, Dru wouldn't. She would always want to be the family. That's the way she was.

When they reached the Magic Box Buffy began to speak to herself. "Ok. I want to do this. I need to do this. They're not going to hate me. They're my friends and they love me. And I want to do this."

"Need to give yourself a little pep talk do you, luv?" Spike said.

"You'd need to give yourself a pep talk if you had to go in there and introduce you as a boyfriend." She said.

"You don't need to introduce me. They already know me." He said trying to calm her down.

"That's the problem. They know you. If you were any other guy I could go in there and say 'Hey this is my new boyfriend' and they'd have to accept him no matter what. But they don't have to accept you."

"Why the hell not??" He asked kind of hurt.

"Hello. You tried to kill them. More than once." She said.

"True. But I haven't tried in such a long time. I have to get points for that." He said figuring he had a good argument.

"Maybe you would if you would just stop joking about killing them." She said.

"I don't." he said innocently.

"Yes you do. Xander especially. I swear you couldn't have commented more on how he would make a good meal at their wedding rehearsal dinner." She said sounding kind of disappointed in him.

"That was just… I was only trying to get him to squirm. I wouldn't actually kill him. If he was dead who be around to make me look good?" he asked and then the door on the Magic Box opened.

"Buffy. It's you. We thought we saw someone standing outside." Xander said then realizing that Spike was there added. "Oh goody. You brought along Dead Boy Jr."

"You know Harris, I can still hire people to kill you." At that Buffy gave him her 'shocked and disappointed' look. And all he did was shrug his shoulders.

They walked in and Buffy said, sounding a bit petrified "Oh good everyone's here." And they were. Everyone, Willow, Tara, Dawn, Anya, Xander, Angel, Cordelia, and Angel's little prophecy child. The only one missing was Giles, but he was in England so this was everyone.

"Hey Spike. How'd it go?" Dawn asked.

"Well I'm still here aren't I?" Spike said looking at Buffy who seemed to be becoming paler.

"Buffy did you have something to say?" Willow asked.

"What?" Buffy asked.

"You sounded like you had something to say. You know you were all 'oh good everyone's here' and then Dawn kind of broke you off." Willow said.

"Oh yeah. That. Well see Spike… or I um… no wait. It's just that… You have to promise not to…" She wasn't getting anywhere.

"Breathe slayer." Spike suggested.

"Yes breathe." She said inhaling and then continuing. "I have to tell you guys something and I'm not quite sure how to." She spoke very fast.

"Well then I'm thinking maybe you should just tell us." Xander said.

"Yeah you're starting to give me the heebie jeebies." Dawn added.

"You have to promise that you're not going to hate me." She said.

"Why would we hate you?" Tara asked, but Buffy didn't answer. She just fell silent.

"Do you want me to tell them?" Spike asked.

"No. They should hear this from me." She once again took a deep breath. "Spike and I are sort of um dating." She looked like she was about ready to pass out.

"What?" Xander and Angel yelled at the same time.

"Buffy you can't be. You just can't. It's Spike." Xander said.

"But I am." Buffy replied.

"So was what he told me true? About the invisible?" Xander asked and Buffy shook her head yes. "Oh God. Oh God. Make it go away. Willow you have to do a spell. You have to make it go away."

"Make what go away?" Willow asked puzzled.

"The memory. Of the invisible and the exercises." Xander said.

"No. Xander I can't. And what are you talking about anyways?" Willow asked.

"I can't talk about it. Too traumatic." Xander said and then fell silent.

"Buffy I really don't think you know what you're getting yourself into." Angel said.

"You think I don't know." Buffy said stating with her tone that she thought she did.

"I think you don't. You haven't known Spike as long as I have. You don't know what he's capable of." Angel said.

"What he's capable of? What about you? He had to learn everything somewhere. And from what I've heard you were his only male role model." Buffy said.

"He was not my role model." Spike said.

"Not helping." Buffy said to him.

"Right." Spike said.

"I think it's great." Dawn said clearly trying to break the tension.

"Thanks, bit." Spike said.

"It is not great. Willow tell her it's not great." Xander said.

"Xander I don't think we should…" Willow said, but Xander cut her off.

"Hey wait a second. All you women seem to be pretty calm about this whole thing. I mean not one of you seemed shocked." Xander said.

"Well we kind of knew." Tara said.

"You knew?" Buffy said shocked.

"Tara and I caught you guys together. In the graveyard. We didn't mean to. We were just taking a walk and you guys were kind of…" Willow trailed off.

"Oh well…" Buffy began.

"You knew!" Xander yelled. "Who else knew?"

"I didn't know for sure. Just speculated." Dawn said.

"And not one of you told me?" Xander said and then looked to his girlfriend. "Anya?"

"I didn't know, but I'm not exactly shocked. I mean he is handsome. And he's got this body. And well they're around each other all the time. Bound to happen. Besides, I think he got rid of the mopey Buffy." Anya said.

"The mopey Buffy?" Angel asked.

"You weren't here when she came back. Not to fun to be around. Then she started to hang out with Spike more and she hasn't been so. What's the word I'm looking for? Cranky." Xander and Angel glared at Anya, but she turned to Spike and Buffy and said "I'm happy for you. I want everyone in the world to be as happy as me and Xander and if it's Spike who makes you happy I say good." Anya looked away from them and then turned back and added. "And later you're going to have to tell me just how happy he makes you."

Buffy started to blush. "Thanks Anya. I think."

"I don't believe this. You all gave me a harder time." Angel said.

"Angel don't." Willow said.

"No. Are Xander and I the only ones in this room who are thinking clearly." Angel said, then he added. "Cordelia?"

"Don't look at me. If Buffy wants to continue her downward spiral into a looser by dating Spike that's her deal." Cordelia said.

"Mighty nice of you Cordy." Spike said.

"Sorry." Cordelia replied.

"Look no one has to defend this to you. I love Spike. Deal. I don't tell you that you can't marry a demon." She said to Xander and then turned to Angel "And I didn't go all 'how could you' when I learned that Darla of all people had your baby. So just leave it alone. This is the man that I love. And that isn't going to change because you say so."

"But Buffy." Angel started.

"No I don't want to hear it." Buffy said.

"We're only trying to help." Xander added.

"Well I don't need your help. I'm a big girl. And you're just going to have to accept this. Now we're going to go before we all say things we don't mean." Buffy said grabbing Spikes hand and heading towards the door. Spike heard someone say something, but Buffy had chosen to ignore it and just kept walking out the door.

"That went well." Spike said as soon as they had gotten away from the magic shop.

"Yeah well at least I don't have to explain this to my mother." Buffy said.

"Hey your mum liked me." He said.

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean she would like me dating you." Buffy replied.

"No probably not."

"Why don't we just go to your place? I don't really feel like going home. Xander and Angel might show up there." Buffy said and then Spike remembered the fire. And that there was no more his place to go to.

"Yeah ok." He said anyways and they headed off. Together. Not in secret. Together out in the open.

Part 23 || Part 25