26 BBY
Dooku hadn't forgotten the path to the Instructor's residences. He doubted he ever would. He was grateful that the Council had granted him permission to visit again, though he had given them no more explanation for his leaving the Order than the first time they had asked five years ago. It killed him to think that that was the same year the abuse had started.
"Master Dooku." The familiar voice of a clanmate from his own time as a youngling called from behind him.
He turned. "Count Dooku now, my friend."
"Well do excuse me, Count."
Dooku sighed. "These recent revelations always seem to pull me back to the Temple."
"Such a shame." Xen Acore shook his head. " I suppose you've heard about the sex between a master and padawan?"
Dooku turned his head to the side, though he kept his expression empty. "I do not believe I would call it sex, but I did hear about the abuse."
"Truly a shame." Master Acore shook his head again as if nothing important had been said, he continued. " I see that you kept your lightsaber."
"I'm afraid I have no time for sparring. I'm actually on my way to speak with Padawan Sellin," Dooku said.
"Why her? Don't you have anyone more important to talk to?"
"She and I have very much to discuss, Master Acore," Dooku said. He kept his expression empty, and his tone was dry.
"Surely now, you have time for lunch with your old friend." Xen insisted.
"I am having lunch with my apprentice's apprentice." Dooku watched him, allowing the line to hang. Qui-Gon's death had immediately preceded his leaving the Order.
His friend winced. "Of course." Master Acore looked around. "Feels like old times. Maybe you would have taken up on the offer of membership on the Council if you hadn't left."
Dooku shook his head. "I would not have." He checked the time for show. "If you'll excuse me, my friend, I do have a meeting."
Xen Acore bowed. "Of course. But if you get a chance, I'm even more skilled than last we sparred."
"We'll see." Dooku continued on his way. When the Instructor invited him inside, Dooku sat. Master Abbisey was a master of the right sort, if a bit moderate. "Cait has been able to spend more time teaching with you, I hear."
"She has." Abbisey smiled. "She's going to be one of the best instructors the Order's seen."
"Rose colored glasses, Master," Cait called, advancing with a glass in her left hand, and two levitated in front of her. Her right hand had yet to fully heal, still encased in bacta bandages.
Dooku frowned, reaching out with the Force to take his glass and to examine the bandaging. "Cait, I didn't realize you were burned."
She sighed, taking a seat next to her master. "It was an accident, just the other day. I was helping Master Drallig tune the practice sabers after a class with some of the older younglings. I wasn't paying attention."
"I know older, wiser Jedi than you suffer much worse for not paying a lightsaber attention." He smiled small. "But you learn quickly and the mistake is not repeated."
Abbisey nodded, taking a drink of water. "You're still so young, Cait, now is the time to make these mistakes."
After the burn, Drallig and Cait had never finished their conversation. For all Cait knew, he had forgotten what she had said, that she wished she'd never told anyone. She wouldn't volunteer that now.
Dooku nodded. "Cait. Are you going to be all right for practice today?" He sipped his water. "You fight with your offhand close, yes?"
"I loop my fingers behind my tunic." Cait tucked her braid behind her ear. "I'll be all right. Yes."
Dooku inclined his head. "What caused the accident? Have you been able to meditate on that question?"
She exhaled, nodding into her lap. "We were talking about what's been going on. I got really upset. It's not a big deal, I should have been paying more attention."
Dooku glanced at Abbisey and then back at Cait. The way the Order handled these children, with all of this conditioning. He didn't understand how they could not see the harm.
"Would you like to work on meditating while in combat," Abbisey asked.
"We can do that this session," Dooku offered.
Cait swallowed, nodding more demurely than she thought she could. Meditation. She thought she had that under control. She had thought she had everything under control. When she fenced, she was in perfect harmony with her blade. Her footwork was precise. Or so she thought. Suddenly, she doubted everything about herself.
"Cait, don't think your Form mastery isn't excellent for your age. I was not yet so precise when I was a padawan of twenty-one." Considering everything she'd been through, he was impressed she was ready to continue with her training at all.
"Thank you, master." She held back a wince. She knew he had left the Order. She supposed she just didn't know what else to call him, and Abbisey didn't correct her. With everything else the Order had failed to do in supporting her, he didn't think it appropriate to trot out an arcane rule.
He glanced away from his padawan to look at the former Jedi. "When should I expect her back from training?"
"How much do you think you're ready for today, Cait," Dooku asked.
"I'm fine," she replied, looking up. "Really. A full session."
Dooku nodded. She was handling this well, despite the rumors spreading through the Order like a disease. He worried she recited the lines she had always been instructed to recite.
"Then we will be back an hour before lunch."
Abbisey stood, bowing. "Cait, don't beat him too badly."
"I doubt I'll hit him at all." Cait took another drink of water and stood, smoothing her tunic.
Dooku shook his head. "You have been training. I lack suitable sparring partners." Dooku knew that he hadn't slipped in the few years since he had left the Order, but he would need to find people to practice with going forward. And there was no reason he couldn't pad Cait's pride, especially given what he had planned. He moved towards the door, waiting for Cait. Once they reached the training area, they retrieved a pair of practice sabers and claimed a room.
After several rounds of sparring, Dooku lowered his saber, stepping back. "Your understanding of timing is precise as I remember it, Cait. When are you attempting the Trials? I believe you could pass the Trial of Skill with ease."
She dropped her shoulders, sighing and backing up to a bench. "I can't," she muttered, siping her hand over the hair at her crown. Her sweat slicked down her baby hairs as the hand passed.
He made himself blink, though he'd already heard the news. "Why not? Your control of the saber is impressive. I doubt I was as skilled at your age." It certainly would have been a close match between them, of that he was certain. "Is the Council still keeping you from proving that you're ready to be a knight?"
Cait set her saber on her lap, closing her eyes and bowing her head. "It's complicated," she managed.
"It always is, with the Council." Dooku shook his head. "They can make things so easy when it suits their needs." He bowed his head, mirroring her. "Cait, what reason did they give you that they won't allow it?"
She picked at her lip, her breath hiking. "They won't let me on my sleeping medication. M-my master is making me take it."
Dooku frowned. They weren't letting her take the Trials because she needed help sleeping. He remembered freshly why he had left the Order, led as it was by blind fools who couldn't change to save the lives of their own students. "Typical of the Council. You know I respect Master Yoda, and the others, but respect is nothing if criticism is impossible. Master Yoda needs a cane to walk without the Force. For them to say you are any less worthy of being a Knight because you need help sleeping is absurd."
She gestured out with both hands, keeping them close to her temples. "T-there's nothing I can do." Cait wouldn't humiliate herself by trying again. Now, everyone in the Order looked at her as more of a failure. She'd proven she couldn't do it. They were right.
Dooku looked at her, his brow folding. To let such a talent go to waste was a sign of the Order's foolishness. "This reminds me of why I left the Order. I know your situation is far worse than mine was, but the Council's unwillingness to budge on obvious compromises is why they are losing relevancy on the Galactic stage."
She closed her eyes. "Master Kenobi said something similar," she admitted.
Dooku half smiled. Perhaps some of his ideas had rubbed off on Qui Gon in spite of himself, and thus onto Obi Wan. "Master Kenobi is wise beyond his years, and a master with the blade in his own way." He tilted his head, considering. "If you ever need my assistance, I would be happy to find a place for you to stay on Sorenno until you got back on your feet."
Cait looked up. "I have somewhere to stay with Master Abbisey."
"Of course, and I'm certain he'll always welcome you home," Dooku inclined his head. "But he doesn't trust you to make your own medical decisions."
Her shoulders tightened. "H-he's my master," she tried. But Bedo had been too.
"Of course, and there is much he can teach you." Dooku nodded. "But you can see that the Council will make you choose between your health and your goals when both would be within your grasp if not for their restrictions."
"I chose my goals. My master promised it would be okay, he had this whole plan. It d-didn't work."
"Surely the plan wasn't to let you stop taking the medicine just for the trials?" Of course it had. "Cait, the Council is setting you up to fail."
"I did fail." She shivered, hooking her saber to her belt. "The Republic convicted Bedo of child sexual abuse and aggravated assault and battery."
"And the Council protected him." Dooku's disgust at the idea was clear. "They'll protect evil men like Bedo, but they won't protect you."
Cait's lip quivered. She closed her eyes slower now. "We should probably talk about something different."
Dooku nodded. "Are you still pursuing teaching? Obviously your training with Master Abbisey is setting you up for it, but is that still where your passion lies?"
"Yes." It was all she wanted to do any more. "The younglings still love me."
"They respect you. They see you are wise and intelligent." Dooku observed. "You will do as a teacher, wherever you are."
"I'll be here," she whispered. She didn't know anything else.
"I know it seems impossible, but sometimes, the bravest thing to do is to leave." Dooku looked at her. "Live to fight another day."
She inched her sleeve down, concerned for the burn, even though it was on her upper arm. She certainly wasn't strong enough to leave. Just the consideration made her body shiver with anxiety. "I'm not brave."
"You're very brave, Cait. You wake up every day determined to fight through it. Bravery isn't not being afraid. It's fighting through despite your fear."
"I don't have any other choice." She stared into her lap. "I don't know how much longer I can do it, it feels like I have nothing else to fight for. T-the Order. That's what I'm fighting for. At my own expense."
"You do have other choices. As Master Kenobi said."
"N-no." She covered her eyes. "I c-can't let this go, t-this is my life. It's always been m-my life. I've never even talked to my parents."
"Maybe talking with them would be wise," he said. "Parents who give their children to the Order generally love them very much. Many parents I've spoken to are heartbroken, but see that it is best for them. If it hasn't turned out to be the best for you, I'm sure your parents would appreciate you calling."
"Can we talk about something else?"
He tilted his head again. "Would you prefer we returned to dueling?"
"Yes." She slicked her ponytail back again and unhooked her saber. She used to love this. Now, it was just what she was supposed to do.
He took his stance again. "Do you want to try that five point feint I showed you earlier? You need to get your arm closer to your body on the fourth point." He knew she preferred direct instruction when it came to Makashi training, but still worried being too direct would be too much for her.
She displayed the technique for him, forcing perfection that had been so natural for her in the past.
He nodded. "Perfect. Now with my attack. I'll go at usual speed. Are you ready?" Dooku took the starting stance, waiting for her signal.
She tensed for just a second and then let it go, tapping the side of her thigh.
He paused for a moment before beginning his attack, full speed as he had promised. She executed it perfectly.
"Excellent work." He nodded. "You're even better than the last time we trained." Dooku observed. "If you continue to focus on your angles, you will meet great success with your bladework."
She nodded, her eyes glassy. Thankfully, they didn't leak. She needed to distract herself more, with fencing and with the younglings. But fencing just reminded her of her failure, now.
Dooku sighed, lowering his saber. "Cait, I truly worry that you are forcing yourself to stay in a toxic environment. You need distance and time."
She shook her head, sniffling. "I can't leave alone, and the younglings need my master more than I do."
"Speak more with Obi Wan about leaving alone." Dooku said. "He can tell you that it is not as daunting as it may seem."
Cait shook her head harder, unigniting her lightsaber and plopping back on to the bench. "I c-can't."
"Tasks that seem impossible may be within your grasp, Cait. I know this must seem impossible."
"It is impossible." She set her lightsaber down again, shaking and covering her eyes.
"Don't think about it now, then," Dooku commented, sitting close to her. "Just know that you won't be on your own if you come to me for help."
"Okay." She said it just to make him stop. The thought was terrifying. This was her entire life, how could she just up and change? She wasn't thirteen, like Obi-Wan had said he was when he left. And she couldn't even imagine the embarrassment, if she left and came back.
Dooku nodded, "All right. I believe our session is over today. As always, it was a pleasure."
She pushed her head further into her hands. "Thank you for taking the time, Master."
"I only wish we could do this more frequently." He stood, bowing more deeply than he would normally to a padawan.
She pushed herself up and bowed. "When will you come to the Temple next?"
"That depends. One reason I come back is to train with you." He pulled a comm card from his belt. "Use this if you need to get in touch with me."
She shook her head. "I have my comm, I can just call you that way. The Council covers calling time."
"Take it anyway. Maybe you'll want to place a call without a recording." He passed her the chip, pleased when she slid it in her belt. "I hope to hear from you soon, Cait. I look forward to it." He smiled sadly, looking at her for a moment longer. "If you need a friend, don't be afraid to call on me."
"Thank you, Master." She thought for a moment. A single act of rebellion, maybe. "Do you have my direct comm number?"
He tilted his head. "I do not. I only have the general line for the Order, or I could reach out to you through your master. But do you want to give it to me?"
She nodded and pushed her braid behind her ear, taking her comm from its pouch. She held hers up, and when he put his in place next to it, she added herself as a contact.
Dooku nodded. "Thank you, Cait. May I check in with you every month or so, just to ask how you are? Or more or less frequently, if you prefer."
"Yes." She slipped it away. "That should be okay." She didn't know what to expect from tomorrow, and so it was hardly a conclusive answer. But it was the best she could give.
He nodded again. "I will be in touch then." Dooku paused for a moment. "Good day, Cait. Until next time."
She took his training saber from the bench and watched him go, sitting silently for a minute, before taking both to the Battlemaster's rooms. She hoped Master Drallig would not be there, but when she opened the door, she had to swiftly look a different way to avoid his eyes.
"Cait." He smiled small. "Good to see you." Drallig watched her as she entered the room. "How was your training session?"
She exhaled, squeezing her fingers against her palm, and turning back to him. "Fine," she whispered.
"I hope so." He advanced towards her. "Do you want me to take those?"
She swayed, taking a step back and rubbing her eye. "I can put them away myself. You don't have to get up."
He stood. "Cait, you know it's no trouble." Drallig tried to smile again. "What did Count Dooku go over with you today?"
She sniffled and passed him both sabers, quickly covering her eyes. "I'm s-sorry."
"Don't be sorry." He sighed. "You performed very well in the Trials. Many do not succeed on their first attempt." Drallig shook his head. "I still think it was wrong of them to make you come off the medication."
"I was a mess," she shot, angry with herself, not him. "I shouldn't have tried."
He closed his eyes. "I don't think you were unable to complete the Trial because of lack of skill."
"I don't want to talk about it." She stepped away from him, pressing her back to the door.
He nodded. "I understand. It's still fresh in your mind." Drallig bowed. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, it's mine." She squeezed her eyes shut and bowed to him. "Thank you, Master."
"I hope we can train again soon, Cait." Drallig said, straightening out. "Take care of yourself."
"I'm ashamed of myself." She wrapped her arms around her waist and let her shoulders go, her head dropping with them. "I have to get back to my master."
Drallig paused. "All right. I'll see you later." He wished he could tell her it would be better soon, but the chances of that were slim, even with him telling everyone that she'd been wronged.
Cait nodded, wiping her eyes. She left for the hall, inhaling as per her new routine, and pushed her braid behind her ear. She didn't like being seen. If the masters at the Temple had been judging her before, now she couldn't even bare the most fleeting glance. So she took her back route, inching her way through stock rooms and supply halls, and staying as far from the center of the Temple as possible. The fewer people she saw, the better she felt. The dim purple light was almost peaceful, the rooms the same, brown noise and all.
The light from the late afternoon sun danced through the corridor. Suddenly she saw Bedo, walking towards her with a smirk. "Cait."
She froze in place, her eyes widening, and then scurried back. "G-get away from me."
He advanced, shifting sideways to block one of her exits. "Don't you walk away from me."
She flipped around, forcing her eyes to stay on him and moving backwards down the hall. "Y-you can't be near me. Go away, s-stay away."
"Cait. Don't talk back to me." He continued to advance. "I taught you better than that."
"Stay away from me," she cried, shaking so hard she thought she might fall.
He shook his head. "Cait, why don't you come back to my room, we can talk about it like we used to."
She moved a hand to block her mouth, her eyes tense, almost closed. "D-don't touch me." She turned, running down the hall.
He followed her easily, staying close at hand. "Come on now, Cait. Do as I say."
She jumped up a staircase, tripping and regaining her footing after a momentary lapse. Now, her focus was on recalling the layout, and getting to a more public place as quickly as possible.
He was close behind her through it all. "They stopped the Republic, they won't let you take the Trials. You think they'll stop me?" He jogged as they came closer to the exit door. "Stop it now," he commanded, as she threw the door open and ran into the Temple's public lobby.
She managed to squeeze through before he could grab her, and stumbled forward, crying hard.
People turned to look. For now, they were just part of the scenery. Two dozen human civilians and at least as many nonhumans wandered through the entryway, either waiting to be taken to meetings or simply admiring the Jedi Temple.
Now heads turned in surprise as a murmur went up through the crowd. Bedo followed close behind. "Come with me. We can discuss this in private."
"Oh, Force," someone exclaimed, a slightly older padawan, as he saw her run. He began to type furiously into his comm.
Cait rounded back to face Bedo, hugging herself tightly. Her face was scrunched, and she scurried back, almost colliding with a civilian. "D-don't touch me."
Bedo followed her out into the hall, moving slower and more distantly now. "Cait, don't make a scene." He turned to the Jedi, a young man who had stabilized himself against a wall. "Jedi business."
Cait rounded back to face him. Her face was scrunched, and she took wide steps, scurrying back. "D-don't touch me," she shouted.
"Get away from her," a very short human knight snarled, stepping towards them. "What are you doing?" She glared at Bedo. "You're supposed to be one hundred meters away." She pressed the communicator buttons to contact the Council.
"H-he doesn't care," Cait cried, wilting. "He w-won't stop."
"I'm not doing anything." Bedo said, raising an eyebrow at Cait. "Why are you letting this affect you so badly?"
The civilian blinked. "You're the rapist."
He narrowed his eyes at Cait. "Look what your lies are doing. Take responsibility."
The civilian quickly snapped a holo.
"You raped me," Cait yelled, backing up to a wall and slinking down, her hand shaking as she tried to push her hair back. It slid through some pieces, but she couldn't get a sufficient grip.
He narrowed his eyes. "That never happened. Stop lying. You don't need any more attention."
The padawan shifted to Cait's side. She recognized him from some of her classes from years ago. "Cait, come with me, let's get you away from here." The older Jedi continued to stand between Bedo and Cait, talking now to someone on the Council.
Cait rocked forward and back, shivering. She moved her hands to the sides of her face, eyes wide as she looked at the other padawan. "He w-won't stop, he isn't gonna stop."
"We're here. He's going to stop," the Jedi Knight growled. "Get out of here, Bedo."
Cait's former master raised his hands. "All a misunderstanding." He bowed, turning to move away. Better for him to be elsewhere when security arrived.
The other padawan caught the knight's gaze and frowned, before his eyes scaled the lobby. He didn't see any civilians around. In a corner, a master ushered a circle of older younglings out through a back door, holding one younger human girl back from sprinting to Cait's side. A trio of masters stood by the back wall, conversing too softly to hear. They all frowned, and glanced over to the terrified young woman on the floor, but none approached.
Six Jedi Guardians moved out of one of the hallways leading from the center of the Temple, one hand forward, reaching with the Force, the other ready to draw their lightsabers if needed. "Cait Sellin." The Twil'leki woman who lead the group, knelt by her, gesturing at the other padawan and knight to move away. "Padawan Sellin, what happened?"
"H-he came up behind me." Her chest was so tense that she started coughing. "He t-tried to get me to. W-where is he?"
"We'll find him." She stood, looking over her team. "Jedi, find him. Bring him to the Council Chamber." She knelt back down beside Cait. "I'm going to escort you back to Master Abbisey."
"T-they won't care." Cait hugged herself, her head pushing against her knees. "T-they don't care about me."
The Jedi Guardians moved out down the hallways, leaving their Commander with Cait. The Twi'lek reached out, sending a surge of calm over Cait and forcing her heart beat to slow. "Cait. I need you to come with me away from here and to your master. To Master Abbisey."
The younger woman's shakes slowed, but she held her head in place, embracing herself. "He's going to do it again. No one cares."
"Cait, I need you to come with me." The Jedi controlled her emotions, even though it pained her to see a member of the Order like this.
Cait cried silently behind her hand, pushing herself up on shaky feet.
The Jedi Guardian stepped beside her. "Follow me," She said, her voice more gentle now.
Cait wiped her eyes and moved her hand to her forehead. After a few steps, she glanced back, looking for the Jedi Knight and the padawan to thank them, but they were out of the lobby. New Jedi had moved in, even as the Guardians formed a perimeter, one sending a group of approaching civilians back the way they came.
The Jedi Knight led Cait back to the flat she shared with Master Abbisey, knocking until Abbisey answered, clearly ready to leave. He relaxed when he saw her, but only slightly.
"Cait!" He exclaimed. "I was about to come over. I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner."
Cait shook her head, running inside and dropping to the couch, pulling a blanket over her shoulders.
Abbisey nodded to the Jedi Knight. "I'll fill out any paperwork, but right now she needs quiet." He looked around. "Thank you for bringing her back. May we have some time?"
The Guardian bowed, turning back. She needed to check with her team. Now that Cait was with her master, she was safe, but they needed to find Bedo either way.
Abbisey shifted towards Cait, sitting on the couch next the one she sat on. "What did he say to you?" His voice was low, with a hint of anger that was not directed at her.
Cait didn't respond, curling tighter under the blanket. She closed her eyes.
"Do you need water?" Abbisey stood, moving to grab a glass, filling it with chilled water before setting it down on the table beside Cait's couch. "Cait, what happened?"
She forced her eyes open. "He tried to make me go with him," she pushed out.
Abbisey ground his teeth, forcing himself not to sound as enraged as he was. "To go with him?" He closed his eyes. "Cait, when? Where was he?"
"After I returned the practice sabers. He t-tried to corner me."
"Force." Abbisey whispered. "I'm sorry. I should have checked in with you more during the session." He rubbed his forehead. He had to quiet the anger he felt towards Bedo or it would consume him. His padawan shouldn't have to fear being assaulted or raped here, whether he messaged her every fifteen standard minutes or not.
"It's not your fault, I was with Master Dooku. And t-then I wasn't anymore." She closed her eyes. Everything Bedo had said, before and today, was true.
"It isn't your fault either. Bedo is a monster. I can't believe that they let him go for this long." Surely, now something would change. He wasn't as confident as he wished he could be.
"Can we just forget it?" She grabbed the water glass, taking a sip without sitting up more than an inch.
"Cait, I wish we could, but if he is going around actively harassing you he has to be stopped."
"He won't be stopped." She put the glass back down. "Are you going to make me take my pills tonight?"
"You always take them," he whispered. You won't sleep without them."
"Are you going to make me take them?" She hadn't registered her anger with him until Dooku had pointed it out, but it was there.
"I'm asking you to take them, you say that like I'm force feeding you." He looked at her, confused. "Haven't you been sleeping better?"
"Yes." She tensed, flipping away from him. "May I be alone, please?"
He winced, but nodded. "Of course, Cait. I just want to be here for you. Are you hungry, can I get you more water?"
"No. And I don't want the pills, so can you stop?"
Abbisey froze. She had never lashed out at him like this before. "All right. I'll leave you be for now."
"Thank you," she grumbled, narrowing her eyes. She faced the cushion, and sighed, bowing her head. Her adrenaline had finally rushed through anger at her master, but she had been so scared.
The only interaction the master and padawan had for the rest of the day was in the evening, when Abbisey made dinner. Cait picked and picked, and that night she didn't take her pills, nightmares keeping her from any sleep. The next morning, her scrubbed raw cheeks and the bags under her eyes gave away how she had spent her night.
When Abbisey saw her emerging from her room, he looked away. He hadn't had a fight with a padawan for years, not since his first. He didn't want to risk pushing her further away, but they needed to talk.
"Good morning, Cait."
"Morning," she whispered, and sat at the table, pulling next week's unfinished lesson plans towards her. She shifted on the seat, crossing her legs, and spread the files around her.
He pulled the breakfast pastries from the oven, setting them on the stovetop to cool and shifted back to the table. "I'm sorry I've been making you take the medicine, Cait. I didn't realize it was so important to you that you not take it, or I wouldn't have forced it on you."
"It really doesn't matter anymore, Master." She displayed the text on the holoscreen, editing with a stylus.
"It does, you didn't sleep last night," He frowned down at his folded hands. "It's very important that you stay in good health."
"Physical or mental?" She didn't even look up from the documents.
"Both, sleeping enough is important to both." He winced. "Cait, you're angry at me."
"Both won't happen," she snapped, ignoring his observation. "If you keep making me take the pills, I won't be mentally healthy. If I don't take the pills, I won't be either. So it's your decision like everything, just let me know what you decide tonight. I'm not safe at the Temple as it is."
Abbisey looked down as a timer beeped on his comm. "Cait, if it's a choice between being one or being neither, is it really a choice?"
"I just want to work, tell me what you decide tonight and leave me alone."
He stood, trying to keep calm as he moved to the stovetop, retrieving the pastries and placing them onto a plate. "We need to talk about this."
"I'm done talking. My head hurts, and I'll probably be raped again by the end of the month."
"Cait, I won't let that happen." Abbisey closed his eyes. "I'm sorry your head hurts and I'm sorry you're afraid. I don't want either of those things."
"Similarly to the pills and the Trials, it really doesn't matter anymore." She looked up. "Can we just work, please?"
"All right." He exhaled, forcing himself to be calm. "What are you looking at right now?"
"Aurobesh handwriting practice." She transferred a copy of her document to his screen.
He looked it over. "Okay. That looks good, I'll attach the print out for the prep team, so the worksheets are ready." A knock came at their flat's door.
"I was trying to change the colors." She didn't acknowledge the knock. "Siryton responded poorly to the orange last week."
"Fewer tantrums are good." He stood, moving to the door. "Who is it?"
"Windu," the deep voice of Mace Windu said from outside. "May I speak with Cait?"
When Abbisey turned to look at his padawan, she glared down at the table and grabbed her plate, poking a piece of her pastry off with her fork.
"She's eating breakfast." Abbisey said through the door. It sounded like a weak response even to him.
"I understand it's breakfast time, but this is urgent."
Cait flicked away a tear, eating quickly. Abbisey allowed Windu inside.
"Cait." Windu nodded to the young woman. "May I sit with you, please?"
She shrugged, shaking her head. "Anywhere."
Windu moved, taking a seat near the Padawan. "We've put Bedo under house arrest." He began. "We reviewed the footage. We determined our punishment last night."
Cait didn't even look up, playing with the pastry. "How long?"
"Five weeks with focused meditation and extremely limited contact to the outside."
She dropped her fork, storming to the sink for a glass of water.
Windu looked after her, patiently waiting for her to return, and willing to wait for her to break the silence.
She took a drink and set the glass down, propping her head up with her hands. Five weeks. It was nothing. Nothing at all. She started to shake, leaning harder against the counter. A knob dug into her waist.
"Cait. This is his last opportunity to prove he's got himself under control. After this, he is out of the Order for good." Windu sighed. "Everyone could see that he was coming after you. We were very disturbed."
"Not disturbed enough to stop him." She turned back, her cheeks coated with tears. "H-he was stalking for me, he was w-waiting."
"He's in confinement now." Windu watched Cait for any change in her demeaner. "And the Council has already determined that if he tries again he'll be expelled."
"That promise means nothing to me now." She grabbed her glass, moving back to the table.
He frowned, looking up at her. "Why is that?"
"Because Master Koon promised from the beginning that he would be expelled." She sat at her seat. "And you promised he would stay away from me."
"We both believed that was true at the time-" Windu began, only to be cut off by Abbisey.
"You were wrong. Master Windu, with all due respect, I can't stand by and let you lecture to my padawan. There is what is and what isn't." He stood, looking angrily at Windu, though he was frustrated in general. "What are you doing to protect Cait now?"
"If we're going to fight, may I go to my room?" Cait stared down, her eyes worn and the food mostly untouched.
"I'm not here to fight." Windu sat, eyes trained on the padawan.
"I can't do any of this anymore, I'm too tired and I'm too scared." Cait looked up, closing the lesson plans with an angry wave. "It won't stop him. If you don't believe me, ask Lyle if he thinks it will. You're all leaving me out to dry, for what? For him?"
"He's in custody." Windu said. "If he repeats what he did, he will be expelled from the Order. As for what we can do for you, Cait. You know that we're willing to help in any way we can."
"No, I don't." She rubbed her forehead. "I want to talk to my parents. My biological parents."
"We can arrange that. You're old enough to make that request. I'll approve it if you put the information request in."
"Great," she coughed out. "How long will that take to set up?" What if they didn't want to talk to her? She couldn't even think about that.
"We could probably have you ready to call today. Would you want a call room, or just to use your own comm?"
She blinked, thinking about the possibility now that they wouldn't even remember her. "Um," she remembered what Dooku had said, her shoulders dropping. The call would be recorded either way. "M-mine. I guess mine."
Abbisey nodded. "If you wanted to do that today, I can handle classes."
She didn't even know what she wanted to say to them. "M-maybe first we should see if they even want to."
Windu closed his eyes. "Cait. They ask about you several times every year. They care about you."
She froze, considering the implication, and leaned forward. "Have they this year? Did anyone tell them?"
Windu opened his eyes, looking at Cait, his face still. "They've called and mailed us every week since the week after the news broke in the Republic. They recognized that it was you when he was named."
Her chest shook, and she looked to Abbisey and then back to Windu. Her mouth dropped open. "N-no one told me that."
"Their communications become available to you when you achieve Knighthood and when you request them." Windu said, his voice calm, practiced from years of meditation.
Her heart rate increased, the migraine behind her eye pounding harder and harder. What were they afraid of? "M-may I be excused," she asked, covering her eyes.
Abbisey glanced at Windu, who nodded. "Yes, Cait. Did you still want us to set the call up for today?"
"I guess." Peering to the lesson plans just hurt her more. When their younglings had grown, they'd be kept from their parents too, if they were abused. She pushed the plans off the table, storming to her bedroom.
The two masters let her go, Abbisey kneeling down to pick up the lesson plans, looking at Windu. He hadn't known about the outreach. It wasn't difficult for him to understand why his padawan felt so angry. They had completely isolated her. It seemed the Council could do no right.
Cait's call with her parents only served to exacerbate her insecurities. Even as they repeated how much they loved her and how proud they were, she felt disgusting for scaring them and making them cry. They invited her home and offered to visit the Temple, but she wanted to take them around public Temple space almost as little as she wanted to go home. And when she confessed that she wished she hadn't reported, she saw the devastation painted across their faces. They ended the call, and each side of the conversation immediately broke into tears.
Siri spread the finished potatoes on each plate, dropping the pot in the sink with a clank. She still didn't understand why her master had asked for this dinner. Sprung it on her, more like.
Adi Gallia glanced her way. "Careful with the pot, Padawan. I'm glad to see you're working on your control." Siri had been in an aggressive mood, which she didn't appreciate, but Siri usually appreciated Gallia's sense of humor. This time, she felt an eyeroll behind her back.
"Get the drinks, please."
Gallia turned, looking at her former apprentice. "Are you so angry that I ask you to lift a finger to prepare a meal?"
Siri squinted, flipping back to her. "I don't know what you're talking about. I did all of this cooking, I'm asking you to get the drinks."
"Of course, it's my pleasure to serve." Gallia moved to the refrigeration unit, taking a very light wine from the cooler. "Something sweet and not too strong with this, I think."
"I really don't care." Siri spooned some stew onto each plate, setting one down at her seat, one across the way at Ferus', and one next to her padawan's. He was in his room right now, doing Force-knew what.
"Siri, what's going on?" Gallia closed her eyes, letting the Force flow through her. "I know you're upset about Cait."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Siri wiped her hands on a towel. "I'm going to check on Ferus."
Gallia continued to gather the table settings, making sure the drinks were cold, as Siri knocked on Ferus' door.
"Yes, Master?" Ferus asked from through the door, opening it a second later.
"Are you still joining us for dinner? It'll be ready in a few minutes."
"I'll join you master, I just wanted to practice that Niman technique." He looked at Siri. "What's troubling you, master? Is your master causing you distress?"
He always kriffing did this. "Nothing is troubling me. Don't psychoanalyze your master."
"I'm not psychoanalyzing. But I was trying to apply a cognitive technique I learned." He smiled small, "And you're getting defensive." He sighed slightly and suddenly. "But I suspect you're worried about the same thing I am. Added to which. Cait isn't answering her messages."
Don't psychoanalyze your master," Siri repeated. "Cait is under a lot of stress. No one is helping her." She said it so that her master heard.
"Well, neither of us is helping." Ferus frowned, looking at his master and tilting his head. "You haven't helped, but you're accusing Master Gallia of being unhelpful. I'm sorry if this isn't my place, but you always say to look to ourselves for what we want others to do better." He coughed. "I paraphrased."
Siri cocked her head to the side, crossing her arms. "You did. Don't concern yourself with me, concern yourself with you. You are speaking out of turn."
"I'm concerned with myself because I haven't been able to get in touch with Cait for several hours. And Master, we can all hear your tone."
"Ferus," she interrupted. "Stop. Don't talk about what you don't understand."
"Yes, Master." He bowed. "Forgive me for thinking I understood." He straightened. "May I return to my practice until you need me for dinner?"
She stared at him, exhaling, and dropped her arms, calming herself down with a silent count to ten. "Yes."
"Thank you so much, Master." He bowed again. "I look forward to dinner."
Siri let his door fall out of her hand, and stomped back to her own master. "I cannot have been that bad."
"Ferus is an excellent student." Gallia blinked, smiling. "I will say that raising a padawan is usually its own reward."
Siri stared at her master now, breaking the eye contact in silence and grabbing silverware.
"Really, given your sense of humor and fun, I thought you would have related to Ferus more by now." Gallia teased. "Then again, he is very different from you, isn't he?"
She turned back, squinting. "Are you kidding me? I have a great sense of humor. He's Obi-Wan."
"And you." Gallia raised an eyebrow. "You were a bit of a know-it-all."
Siri shook her head. "I just know it all."
"You two deserve each other." Gallia shook her head, smiling. "Can you take that out of the oven?" She grabbed a bowl, tossing a salad.
Siri took out the chicken, sliding it onto a large tray with a cutting knife. "Today was quite the surprise, Master. You know we love seeing you."
"I had thought that was true, but you've been very cold. Distant?" Gallia suggested. "You disapprove of the Council's handling of Cait's situation. And you know I do as well."
She set the tray in the middle of the table. "It really doesn't matter how I feel about the Council's wrong behavior."
"It does because it impacts our personal relationship." Master Gallia said. "They're incorrect about how we should handle this. I wish I could say "they" without including myself, but I cannot sway the Council."
"Whatever." If her master and Mace Windu and the few others who pretended actually cared enough, they would help Plo Koon steer.
Adi Gallia looked at her former student. "Siri, please. What would the better option be?"
"Expelling him," Siri snapped. "Come on. You know what the better option would be. You're leaving one of our most talented students to bleed out because you don't want to play politics. You're more comfortable with things as they are. And it'll be another two years and another abused padawan before the Council talks about this again"
"Siri, we've discussed that option. We've already punished Bedo. To add another punishment after making a decision-wrong as I argued it was-would not hold up to the Council's traditions. If he transgresses again, he'll be removed. The will is there." Cait's parents had called the Council after speaking with her, and the idea that Cait wished she had never reported her abuse, much less her parent's concerns regarding self-injury. Well, the latter was more easily checked, and the healer had confirmed self-inflicted burns. But they still deliberated the proper response, days later, to the self-injury and to the terrible thought she had confided in her parents.
"She should leave. She should leave tomorrow."
Gallia closed her eyes. "I think she would thrive outside the Order, but I truly believe that this is the right place for her. We have unique insight into her connection with the Force." She opened one eye, staring at her padawan. "And since when do you think anyone should leave the Order?"
"Since the Council proved they'd rather let padawans be raped than cleanse the Order of rapists."
Gallia stared at her former apprentice, both eyes open now. "Stop. Siri. That's not called for."
Siri narrowed her eyes, turning her back to Gallia. She grabbed napkins as an excuse. "Yes, Master."
"Cait deserves better, absolutely, but she deserves better here. Leaving the Order is not what's best for her."
"It's not what's best for her, or it's not what's best for the Order?"
Gallia closed her eyes. "The Order is everything she's ever known, Siri. Can we discuss this latter? I had hoped we could enjoy a nice dinner."
Siri shrugged. "Ferus," she yelled. "Dinner."
Ferus emerged just under ten seconds later. "What are we having, Masters?" He moved to the table, sitting on the side.
"Meat and potatoes," Siri said, watching her master set a glass of water before her padawan. "Did you reach Cait?"
"She said she didn't want to talk right now." He exhaled. "I had worried something had happened to her in particular. I was worried."
Siri's brow knit. "She called you back, or a written message?"
"A message." He exhaled. "I do want to check in with her later as well, but dinner for now."
"Did you ask her if stopping by was okay," Siri asked. She glanced back over to her own master, who was strangely silent.
"She didn't answer, but I did ask." Ferus said, as though that were obvious. "I hope she will reply to that."
Gallia smiled, forced. "I'm sure that if she was going to say yes, she would have. You can always ask again, at risk of making her feel pressured."
"That makes it sound like I should not ask again." Ferus frowned.
"Because you shouldn't," Siri offered. "Don't make it about you."
"I'm not making it about me, Master." Ferus exhaled. "Can we eat?"
Siri nodded her head down to the plate. "It's in the middle, if you would like to cut it for us. Don't talk back to me."
"Of course not, Master." He stood, reaching to cut slices of the meal for each Master.
They ate in silence for a short time. "Siri, how is Obi Wan lately?" Gallia looked over at her former Padawan.
Siri shrugged, brushing her bangs back. "Fine. As upset as I am. Raising a padawan."
"I'm in disbelief about how Padawan Skywalker is still in the Order." Ferus rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't believe what he's done now."
His master squinted at him. "Someone needs more liquor."
"I don't believe it's me." Ferus said. "Anakin is awful at all times."
"Anakin has had a very difficult life." Gallia said. "He was a slave for many years, and I think you're too hard on him. He grew up in the Outer Rim."
"I grew up in the Temple," Ferus commented.
Both masters looked at Ferus, raising an eyebrow each almost at the same moment.
"I'm not sure why that matters, youngling." Gallia smiled small, her eyes narrowing at the Padawan.
He shrugged, biting into his meat. "I'm just saying."
"A mouth that speaks without purpose is the sign of a mind that runs without direction."
Siri coughed on her water, and Gallia rubbed her arm.
"Master Siri says that." Ferus took a drink of water.
Siri tensed, avoiding her own master's eyes. "I might have, like once."
Gallia smiled at her former apprentice. "See, you did learn from me, even the sayings you thought were ridiculous. They don't seem so spurious when you have a Padawan of your own."
Siri raised both brows, scooping up some mashed potatoes. "Do you miss having a youngling or something?"
"I manage to keep myself busy." Gallia commented. Being on the Council was hard work. Being one of the body's few female Jedi Masters didn't make that task easier.
"Are you sure? I could just ship out, get my own room, leave you two."
Ferus looked up, eyes widening. "Master, don't go."
"A joke, Ferus."
Gallia snorted. Men were so fragile. "As fun as that sounds, I think I'll leave you to it."
Siri shrugged. "Suit yourself."
"Have you seen Obi Wan, lately?" Gallia pressed.
Siri narrowed her eyes. "We went on mission last month. What is your question?"
"I'm asking if you've visited with him. You're supposed to be friends or something." Gallia gave her former apprentice a strange look.
"What? I still hate him."
"Ah. I see, you're still ten." Gallia smiled. "But really, it's been a month?"
Siri shrugged. "He came over a few nights ago, I destroyed him at dejarik. Why are we talking about me and Obi-Wan?"
"Well, I'm just wondering if you're still as good friends as you were when you were younglings." Gallia asked, her smile knowing.
The younger Jedi squinted, staring at her master to try to decipher how much she knew. She always said things like this, always. They'd never actually discussed it, Gallia had never asked. Not even after the first time, and Siri knew she hadn't been hiding it well. Knowing Obi-Wan, he'd hidden it even worse.
Gallia shrugged. "No need to be weird about it. He's just your best friend." She had noticed the difference in her padawan after what she assumed had been the first kiss.
Siri rolled her eyes. "But enough about me, right?"
"Exactly. Ferus." Gallia turned to him. "When was the last time you spent time with Cait as a friend and didn't offer advice?"
Ferus shook his head. "We talked today. Just before dinner. But she's sad, I want to help."
"Just be her friend." Adi Gallia knew that telling the padawan not to try to help could be harder than telling a falling ship not to crash to the planet below. "Helping is not going to involve giving her a short lecture on psychological theory."
"In fact, Ferus, you should just stop trying to analyze people all together," Siri commented. "Cait needs you to be there, not to tell her she's being a victim the wrong way."
"I just want her to know how to stop being the victim and take some control back."
Siri had already begun to shake her head. "Don't do that. Don't take initiative. This isn't an assignment, this is your friend."
"I know. I'm trying to help my friend." His brow knit and he drummed his fingers on the table, a habit he'd picked up from his master. "That's what I'm saying."
Gallia watched Siri, pushing a message into her mind. This is a test. The younger woman kept from rolling her eyes at her own master.
"Well, Ferus, have you asked Cait how you can best help her?"
Ferus frowned, closing his eyes as he tried to remember. He quickly realized that if it didn't come immediately to mind he had not. "No."
"When you speak to Cait next, why don't you ask her what she needs, and give her exactly what she says?" Siri took a drink. What Cait needed, Ferus couldn't provide.
"I can try that." Ferus scrunched his face. "But what if I can tell what she needs without her saying it?"
Siri winced, rubbing her forehead. "I can 110% promise you that you can't."
"Master, you can't promise something over 100% of the time." Ferus sighed. "I'll ask her what she needs."
Gallia looked down at Ferus' plate. He was about finished. "Why don't you eat the rest, and then go call her again? Give your master and I some time alone?"
Ferus nodded. "That is wise, Master Gallia." He would not have admitted the same to his own master, not at this moment.
They continued eating, now in silence. Siri could feel the tension still between herself and her master. They had a lot to discuss, and much they couldn't. She wondered then if her master knew more of her secrets than her relationship with Obi-Wan. Siri hadn't even told her partner that she had been the one to place the report with the Solicitor General's office.
When Ferus left the table to call Cait, Gallia shifted in her seat, looking at Siri. "That was delicious. I must have taught you something in the kitchen as well." The humor resonated. Siri had always been the better hand at cooking.
Siri finished her last bite. "I'm glad you enjoyed it, Master."
"I don't want to fight with you, I'm not happy that Ferus was able to sense how much it was affecting us. I don't want to fight." Gallia repeated.
Siri shrugged, setting her silverware down. "I'm not fighting. I'm telling you the Council's actions have been ridiculous, and you're partially to blame."
"I have been fighting the Council." Gallia said. "I've been demanding that we hold ourselves accountable, and Bedo's removal from the Order."
"Not loudly enough."
"I'm sure you've learned from training Ferus that simply saying something loud enough doesn't always make people listen."
Siri shook her head, taking a drink of water. "If the Council wanted to help her, you would have helped her. I really don't know what's going to happen, Master, but I can't believe it's gotten this far."
"I can't either," Gallia sighed. "I don't quite believe it sometimes myself. But Cait seems to have gotten a lot out of her talk with her parents."
Tachi looked up. "She called her parents? Is she going home?"
"I don't believe so. She's been reluctant every time we've asked if she wants to take a trip away from the Temple, so going home seems unlikely."
"Why did she call her parents?"
"She is in a lot of pain, she's under stress. She wanted it, it was reasonable, and so we allowed it."
Siri didn't say anything. After all, her master hadn't.
"I don't know." Gallia said after the pause lingered a few seconds. "I truly don't. Different people react differently to stress."
Siri sighed now. "I wouldn't blame her for anything. Seriously, anything."
"I wouldn't blame her either." Gallia closed her eyes, leaning back. "I just don't know what we can do at this point. We have made the wrong decisions too many times."
"I fear the Council has discredited itself to many over this. I know I don't want Bedo anywhere near Ferus. The No-Contact order has helped, but masters with younglings aged fifteen to twenty who don't have the luxury? He's just walking around the Temple, whether he can take padawans or not."
"I know, Siri." Gallia's voice was regretful. "I should have lead the charge. I should have pushed harder. The Council agreed that mercy should exceed protection, and we were wrong."
Siri nodded, drinking a longer swig. "You were. I've tried to do everything I can, I don't know how to help her. Now I'm trying to give her space."
"I think that's for the best." Gallia looked over at Siri, her eyes knowing as usual. She had deduced long ago that her padawan had brought the case to the attention of the Solicitor. If they never discussed it, she would never have to alert her colleagues on the Council. That was for the best.
Siri looked down. "Are you finished eating, Master?"
"I am, yes." She stood, taking her plate and moving it to the sink before her apprentice had the chance. Ferus had already done the same. Siri joined with her own.
"So, it's five weeks," Siri asked. "Is the Council going to monitor him or Cait when he's released, in case he attacks her right away?"
"Absolutely." Gallia nodded. "We're going to have the camera's automatically track both of their locations in public, and alert the Temple Guard if he is within a certain distance."
Siri nodded, pushing her short hair behind her ears. "I hope it suffices. You'll have a world to explain to Cait, this Order, and the Republic if she's raped again."
"It will be to our eternal shame," Gallia agreed. "Beyond explanation. What is the reason for our existence if we can't even bring light to members of our own Order, much less the galaxy?"
Jedi Tachi shrugged. "I'm sure you won't let it happen, Master."
Gallia closed her eyes. "As far as it is within my power to do so. Thank you for dinner, Siri."
"Yes, Master." Siri turned back to her, frowning. "Do you want to stay? Do you have to go?"
"I should go." Gallia frowned down. "I have work to catch up on, and I have part of the night shift for the Council."
The knight pushed her hair back one more time. "May I have a hug, Master?"
Adi Gallia moved around the table, pulling Siri Tachi into a deep embrace. Siri wrapped her arms around her master, exhaling hard.
"Will you say good bye to Ferus before you go?"
"He won't even notice I'm gone." She teased. "I'll go see if he has time for me." She gave her former apprentice a small squeeze before breaking off and saying her goodbyes to Ferus.