The new cool word for the year is sick. Sick meaning cool or dope. For example, "That music video is sick my fine feathered friend." Use this word at your discresion. Thank you and good night.
Chapter 2: Roomie from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks
"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Dib kept repeating walking around the room. Zim watched on, disinterested, still packing away a lot of his things. The small Irken put away a lot of his clothes, Dib still circling the room.
"Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Aaannnddd yes." Zim replied, finishing his packing.
"YOU CAN'T BE MY ROOMMATE! YOU JUST CAN'T!"
"Why do you care? I mean its not like your going to try to stop my plans right? Oooooo." Zim then began to wave around a cup of jello jigglers madly in front of Dib's face.
"GET THAT THING THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE!" Dib slapped the cup out of Zim's hand and lifted Zim high into the air. "WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?"
"Well, as you said before, my plans as of late have been a little lacking and seeing as how I could no longer remain in the old skool, I needed a new place to carry on my infiltration."
"So you picked to live in MY room at MY college?"
"Of course, how else would the plot progress?"
"Plot?.....I hate you so much Zim."
"There's the old Dib I remember." Zim smiled cruely as he wrestled himself out of Dib's grasp and made it back to the floor.
"No." Dib said as he began to regan his composure. "The way I acted was a long time ago. I've become cool now. I'm more mature and composed and I'm not obsessive as I used to be."
"Sure you are, Dibbo."
"ANYBODY WANT ANY LITHIUM?" Gir cried as he burst out of Zim's closet, running around with a lithium tank to his back.
"OH HELL NO! NOT YOUR ROBOT!" Dib cried trying to push Gir out of the room.
"He accompanies me everywhere, even when I don't want him to." Zim said rolling his eyes.
"LOOK WHY IS GIR EVEN HERE?"
"Cause I'm a chick magnet, duh. Wanna see?"
"Wha? NO GIR NO!" Zim cried out, trying to reach Gir, but it was too late. Gir switched on a lever hidden underneath his chest plate as the song "En Fuego" began to play and a large disco ball popped out of his head. As the music played and Gir danced, numerous amounts of girls began to burst through the walls against their wills and slammed into the small robot disguised as a dog.
"MY SPLEEN!" One of the girls cried in horrible pain as her body broke against Gir's metal exterior.
"Don't pay attention to your injuries against the green dancing dog." Zim futily said as he tried to reassure the broken and bleeding girls. "This is all part of an....experiment?"
"This is not happening. This is not happening. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!" Dib yelled out as more and more girls made holes in the walls, Zim trying to console them in the background.
"That'll heal right up. No your leg will be just fine, just don't use it anymore. You can barely notice the indentation in your forehead. No I don't think your fat." Zim said, running from girl to girl at hyperspeed.
"TIME TO CRANK IT UP A NOTCH!" Gir yelled as the music began to pump out louder and faster.
"MUST....REACH....SWITCH!" Dib pushed his way through the pile of growing chick corpses, trying desperately to reach the small robot. Jumping past a nearby flying girl, he leaped just in time to knock the switch down into its former position and tumbled across the floor.
"Ooooohhh I wanted more chicks." Gir said sadly, walking back into the closet.
"You see Dib, I'm not such a bad roommate am I?" Zim said, standing ontop of the heap of dead girls, covered in blood and gore.
"Zim.....Its only been the first day. Classes haven't even started yet and not only have you destroyed most of our dorm room, but you've killed half the female population on campus. I can't even find the words for this situation. I mean how could this possibly get any worse?"
Right on cue, the skeleton like Gaz popped out of the other side of Zim's closet.
"I wrote a poem? Who wants to hear it?" Gaz said pulling a long piece of paper out of her nose.
"Please God no." Dib said falling on his bed.
"I love Zim. He loves me. I live in a shoebox. I killed an owl." Gaz then pulled out a dead owl, half of which had been eaten, most assuredly by Gaz.
"THAT DOESN'T EVEN RHYME!......Does anyone have a gun? Seriously." Dib asked.
"Don't worry about her, consider her a part of your regular life as we adjust to college life. To answer your previous question: Yes I have a gun, but your sister is apparently too crazy to shoot." Zim replied, pulling out a laser gun and firing it directly at Gaz. The laser beams streamed towards Gaz's face and zinged in opposite directions right before it hit her.
"This is not happening. It can't be. I have a goatee now, that makes me cool. This must be a dream. That's the only logical explanation." Dib then began to frantically pinch himself. "WHY AREN'T I WAKING UP?"
"Listen this doesn't have to be a bad thing. I mean its just like three's company except there are four of us."
".....I really hate you Zim."
"Let's walk and talk." Zim said with a smile as he took Dib by the arm and dragged him out of the room, the teen still being in shock. "Now listen I know there's been a history between the two of us in the past, but that can change now. All you have to do is look the other way and when I take over the world, I'll make you my monkey."
"LIKE HELL ZIM!" Dib broke free of Zim's grasp and slammed him against the wall. "Just because I'm ignoring your plans because of their stupidity does not make me your monkey."
"YO ZIM!" A large group of college guys, obviously bombed out of their minds, walked up to Zim and Dib. "YOU THE MAN DAWG!"
"What the hell?" Dib looked confusedly at the wandering group of drunks as they passed by and patted Zim on the shoulder. "What's going on Zim?"
"Oh you mean my.... Phat rep?" Zim poked Dib in the side confidently and began to wink.
"PHAT REP? YOU CAN'T HAVE A REP ALREADY! YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR 3 HOURS!"
"Why of course I can. After all, who can deny the workings of....PHAT DADDY ZIM?" The Irken then stuck his finger up in the air triumphantely. Dib simply stood there for a second and then began to shake his head in shame.
"Please....in the name of all things holy and pure, tell me that no one calls you that."
"Hey look, its Phat Daddy Zim." A nearby girl whispered to another girl walking past him by the hall. Zim looked back up at Dib, smiling and shaking his head. The young teen simply dropped his head to the floor.
"*sigh* People actually call you that." Dib said the phrase in shame and began to once again walk along Zim. "I can't believe it."
"Yes thanks to my college chip, I can now develop a reputation and act just as you earthlings do."
"College chip?"
"Yes its just like a technological Irken chip, except its beer." Zim said proudly as he took out a large frosty mug of beer and chugged it down.
"HOLY CRAP! YOU'RE SMASHED!"
"Yep." Zim then wiped the frothy beer off of the top of his lip. "You see by using your state of drunkness, I can appear as flamboyant and care free as the rest of you stink bags."
"Actually thats not half bad of a plan."
"Really?"
"....NO! THATS STUPID! I MEAN COME ON!" Dib said waving his arms up in the air.
"Very well our walk and talk is over, I must now proceed to take over the world. Teleportation on." Zim then blurred out of Dib's sight and returned back to the room.
"Only 198 more days to go." Dib sighed to himself, walking out of the building. "Only 198 more days to go."
End Chapter 2....
OOOOOOOO! I ENJOY LIQUID REFRESHMENT! What's gonna happen next? Is Zim the daddy mack or the mack daddy? Will Dib ever regain his sanity? How much more can I possibly make fun of Gaz? Find out all this next time in...
Chapter 3: Class without the "Cl"
Chapter 2: Roomie from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks
"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Dib kept repeating walking around the room. Zim watched on, disinterested, still packing away a lot of his things. The small Irken put away a lot of his clothes, Dib still circling the room.
"Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Aaannnddd yes." Zim replied, finishing his packing.
"YOU CAN'T BE MY ROOMMATE! YOU JUST CAN'T!"
"Why do you care? I mean its not like your going to try to stop my plans right? Oooooo." Zim then began to wave around a cup of jello jigglers madly in front of Dib's face.
"GET THAT THING THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE!" Dib slapped the cup out of Zim's hand and lifted Zim high into the air. "WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?"
"Well, as you said before, my plans as of late have been a little lacking and seeing as how I could no longer remain in the old skool, I needed a new place to carry on my infiltration."
"So you picked to live in MY room at MY college?"
"Of course, how else would the plot progress?"
"Plot?.....I hate you so much Zim."
"There's the old Dib I remember." Zim smiled cruely as he wrestled himself out of Dib's grasp and made it back to the floor.
"No." Dib said as he began to regan his composure. "The way I acted was a long time ago. I've become cool now. I'm more mature and composed and I'm not obsessive as I used to be."
"Sure you are, Dibbo."
"ANYBODY WANT ANY LITHIUM?" Gir cried as he burst out of Zim's closet, running around with a lithium tank to his back.
"OH HELL NO! NOT YOUR ROBOT!" Dib cried trying to push Gir out of the room.
"He accompanies me everywhere, even when I don't want him to." Zim said rolling his eyes.
"LOOK WHY IS GIR EVEN HERE?"
"Cause I'm a chick magnet, duh. Wanna see?"
"Wha? NO GIR NO!" Zim cried out, trying to reach Gir, but it was too late. Gir switched on a lever hidden underneath his chest plate as the song "En Fuego" began to play and a large disco ball popped out of his head. As the music played and Gir danced, numerous amounts of girls began to burst through the walls against their wills and slammed into the small robot disguised as a dog.
"MY SPLEEN!" One of the girls cried in horrible pain as her body broke against Gir's metal exterior.
"Don't pay attention to your injuries against the green dancing dog." Zim futily said as he tried to reassure the broken and bleeding girls. "This is all part of an....experiment?"
"This is not happening. This is not happening. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!" Dib yelled out as more and more girls made holes in the walls, Zim trying to console them in the background.
"That'll heal right up. No your leg will be just fine, just don't use it anymore. You can barely notice the indentation in your forehead. No I don't think your fat." Zim said, running from girl to girl at hyperspeed.
"TIME TO CRANK IT UP A NOTCH!" Gir yelled as the music began to pump out louder and faster.
"MUST....REACH....SWITCH!" Dib pushed his way through the pile of growing chick corpses, trying desperately to reach the small robot. Jumping past a nearby flying girl, he leaped just in time to knock the switch down into its former position and tumbled across the floor.
"Ooooohhh I wanted more chicks." Gir said sadly, walking back into the closet.
"You see Dib, I'm not such a bad roommate am I?" Zim said, standing ontop of the heap of dead girls, covered in blood and gore.
"Zim.....Its only been the first day. Classes haven't even started yet and not only have you destroyed most of our dorm room, but you've killed half the female population on campus. I can't even find the words for this situation. I mean how could this possibly get any worse?"
Right on cue, the skeleton like Gaz popped out of the other side of Zim's closet.
"I wrote a poem? Who wants to hear it?" Gaz said pulling a long piece of paper out of her nose.
"Please God no." Dib said falling on his bed.
"I love Zim. He loves me. I live in a shoebox. I killed an owl." Gaz then pulled out a dead owl, half of which had been eaten, most assuredly by Gaz.
"THAT DOESN'T EVEN RHYME!......Does anyone have a gun? Seriously." Dib asked.
"Don't worry about her, consider her a part of your regular life as we adjust to college life. To answer your previous question: Yes I have a gun, but your sister is apparently too crazy to shoot." Zim replied, pulling out a laser gun and firing it directly at Gaz. The laser beams streamed towards Gaz's face and zinged in opposite directions right before it hit her.
"This is not happening. It can't be. I have a goatee now, that makes me cool. This must be a dream. That's the only logical explanation." Dib then began to frantically pinch himself. "WHY AREN'T I WAKING UP?"
"Listen this doesn't have to be a bad thing. I mean its just like three's company except there are four of us."
".....I really hate you Zim."
"Let's walk and talk." Zim said with a smile as he took Dib by the arm and dragged him out of the room, the teen still being in shock. "Now listen I know there's been a history between the two of us in the past, but that can change now. All you have to do is look the other way and when I take over the world, I'll make you my monkey."
"LIKE HELL ZIM!" Dib broke free of Zim's grasp and slammed him against the wall. "Just because I'm ignoring your plans because of their stupidity does not make me your monkey."
"YO ZIM!" A large group of college guys, obviously bombed out of their minds, walked up to Zim and Dib. "YOU THE MAN DAWG!"
"What the hell?" Dib looked confusedly at the wandering group of drunks as they passed by and patted Zim on the shoulder. "What's going on Zim?"
"Oh you mean my.... Phat rep?" Zim poked Dib in the side confidently and began to wink.
"PHAT REP? YOU CAN'T HAVE A REP ALREADY! YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR 3 HOURS!"
"Why of course I can. After all, who can deny the workings of....PHAT DADDY ZIM?" The Irken then stuck his finger up in the air triumphantely. Dib simply stood there for a second and then began to shake his head in shame.
"Please....in the name of all things holy and pure, tell me that no one calls you that."
"Hey look, its Phat Daddy Zim." A nearby girl whispered to another girl walking past him by the hall. Zim looked back up at Dib, smiling and shaking his head. The young teen simply dropped his head to the floor.
"*sigh* People actually call you that." Dib said the phrase in shame and began to once again walk along Zim. "I can't believe it."
"Yes thanks to my college chip, I can now develop a reputation and act just as you earthlings do."
"College chip?"
"Yes its just like a technological Irken chip, except its beer." Zim said proudly as he took out a large frosty mug of beer and chugged it down.
"HOLY CRAP! YOU'RE SMASHED!"
"Yep." Zim then wiped the frothy beer off of the top of his lip. "You see by using your state of drunkness, I can appear as flamboyant and care free as the rest of you stink bags."
"Actually thats not half bad of a plan."
"Really?"
"....NO! THATS STUPID! I MEAN COME ON!" Dib said waving his arms up in the air.
"Very well our walk and talk is over, I must now proceed to take over the world. Teleportation on." Zim then blurred out of Dib's sight and returned back to the room.
"Only 198 more days to go." Dib sighed to himself, walking out of the building. "Only 198 more days to go."
End Chapter 2....
OOOOOOOO! I ENJOY LIQUID REFRESHMENT! What's gonna happen next? Is Zim the daddy mack or the mack daddy? Will Dib ever regain his sanity? How much more can I possibly make fun of Gaz? Find out all this next time in...
Chapter 3: Class without the "Cl"