TIME FO THE FUNNY! God good how long has it been since I did something funny?
Zim: A week or so, get off your damn pedestal!
..... Fair enough.
Zim: "Fair enough"? What does that even mean?
Look Zim, just shut up and let me do my monologue and the story will then proceed, hence you get your money.
Zim: My "money" doesn't really satisfy my needs anymore.
What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Zim: I believe my manager's memo should explain everything. *hands E the memo*
Give me that! *starts reading* "On the behalf of said party Zim, my client will receive a total payment of no less than......SIX FIGURES FOR HIS SERVICES?"
Zim: That is correct.
I CAN'T AFFORD THAT!
Zim: I don't have to take this, I'm leaving, you'd better find someone else to replace me cause I'm out! *walks out of room*
WAIT! NO! ....Crap.
Three days later....
All right, it took me three long days of searching but I was finally able to find a replacement for Zim. I would like to introduce all of you to the new Zim!
Hulk: RAAAARR! HULK SMASH!
Ooook, I know this looks bad, but he's green and he works for peanuts.
Hulk: Hulk enjoys the salty taste of nuts.
.......Right. Hulk, if you could meet your costar Dib.
Dib: *walks in* Hey how's it going?
Hulk: HULK DESTROY! *rips Dib's head off and throws it into space.*
DAMMIT HULK! Now I gotta find a new Dib.
Next episode of Invader Zim in College....
Hulk: HULK HATES COLLEGE DIB!
Ted Kennedy/Dib: I'm...soooo messed up right now.
Ooook, that was awful.
Chapter 4: KEGGER!! KEGGER!! KEGGER!!
"Well that was eventful." Dib walked next to Zim as the Irken Invader was swarmed by a mob of college students.
"It most certainly was." Zim pushed his way out of the growing crowd and stood next to Dib. He threw his hands up into the air and pointed his fingers at the crowd with a funny look on his face. Zim then addressed the random mob. "Hmmmmm, I'm getting a little confused. Remind me again whose house it is?"
"PHAT DADDY ZIM'S HOUSE!" The rowdy crowd yelled out in unison, many of which slammed beer bottles together in celebration. Zim crossed his arms and smiled, looking over at the sullen Dib.
"I swear to God, one of these days I'm playing Russian Roulette with six bullets in the chamber."
"You do that, I'll be back in the room later. CARRY ME MY MINIONS!" Zim was then lifted on the shoulders of the druken mob and carried away out of Dib's sight.
Dib trudged his way up to the room and walked through the door. To his dismay, he found Gir sitting on his bed, spreading peanut butter on his sheets and covers. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THAT!"
"I know, this is to help you sleep better." Gir continued to spread peanut butter all over Dib's bed.
"Give me that!" Dib swiped the peanut butter jar and knife out of Gir's hands and threw them in the trash can. "WHY WOULD THAT HELP ME SLEEP?"
"Because if Mr. Ed tries to eat your bed spread, his gums will get all sticky making him look like he's talking. Then, when he's talking, you'll be woken up and get the drop on him."
"......Get off my bed." Gir hopped off Dib's bed. Dib folded up the soiled bed spread and threw it in his closet. "You know now would be the point when I would do my homework, but considering Zim put the fear of God into my teachers, I won't be having homework for quite sometime."
"When I touch mushrooms, I grow bigger. When I touch flowers, I can shoot flamey thingies. When I touch feathers, I get a cape! I'M A PLUMBER!" Gir ran around the room in circles. Dib sat down on his bedspread and stretched out, looking up at the ceiling.
"You know besides Zim, Gir, my crazy sister, and the constant craziness, college hasn't been half bad for the day I've been here. I could get used to living like thi..." Before Dib could finish his sentence, a skeleton like hand burst through the bottom of the bed and grabbed Dib by the shirt. "HOLY CRAP!"
"Sorry." Gaz popped out from underneath the bed with a necklace made up of monkey feces designed in the shape of roses and a bracelet of mouse bones. "I thought a mind assasin was trying to kill me through your bed."
"Gaz, just....just go back to the closet." Dib put his hands on his face and shook his head sobbingly. Gaz saluted her brother, marching back into Zim's closet.
"Please, someone end this nightmare that is my life."
"All right Dib, you must now come with me." Zim said, pushing his way into the room.
"Zim. I'm not helping you with anything."
"You will help me Dib, after all roommates help one another do they not?"
"Hmmmm, if I help Zim maybe I can sabotage whatever the hell he's trying to do and get him kicked out of school in the process, ending this nightmarish scenario." Dib thought to himself.
"All right Zim, you forced it out of me. What do you need?"
"Excellent. I need you to escort me to a 'frat' and to show me what to do there."
"Holy crap! You got invited to a frat party? Which one?"
"Well, they call it..."
Three hours later....
"Welcome to Alpha-Cyber-Beta-Tron. I'm your host for this evening, Optimal Supreme, cause I'm supreme to all the ladies, ohhhh yeeaaahhh." The leader of the frat said, slicking his hair back as he talked to Dib and Zim.
"Whatever." Dib said as Zim looked around the room.
"Kegs are over there, now get drunk and ROLL OUT!" The apparently drunk host then fell to the floor and vomited all over Dib's shoes. "Light...our...darkest...hour."
"OH MAN! MY KICKS!" Dib said wiping off the vomit from his shoes. Zim looked at him strangely and poked Dib in the side.
"Is this part of the 'frat' ritual?" Zim asked inquisitively.
"NO! Just mingle or something while I go clean up." Dib turned his back to Zim and walked away.
"MINGLE I SHALL! I SHALL MINGLE LIKE NONE HAVE EVER MINGLED BEFORE!" Zim walked up to a random girl and punched her in the face. "FEEL MY MINGLE!"
"AAhHh! I just got punched by Phat Daddy Zim!" The girl cried out.
"Yeah." Another girl said, walking up to her. "You are so totally lucky."
"Crap." Dib said as he looked at the long line for the bathroom and looked down at his shoes. "This is just like that stupid movie 'Can't Hardly Wait,' except I'm not in love with some hot chick like...Jennifer...Love..."
"Hi." A girl said as she passed by Dib and winked at him. Dib's jaw dropped to the floor as the girl walked out of his sight.
"Dude." Some drunk guy said as he walked up to Dib and looked at his jaw hitting the floor. "I gotta lay off the beer.....seriously."
Dib lunged out of line trying to find the girl, only to run into Zim.
"Crap! GET OUTTA MY WAY ZIM!"
"NO!" Zim said, his mechanical arms blocking Dib's path. "You have to teach me more!"
Before a fight could ensue between the two enemies, the door slammed open.
"HOLY CRAP!" One of the members of the frat yelled out. "Its the DECEPTIBONGS!"
"THE WHO?" Dib cried as the large group of opposing college kids stormed the party.
"OUR RIVALS! KICK THEIR ASSES!"
"DIE AUTODRUNKS!" The leader of the deceptibongs cried as they tried to fight each other, only to do a very horrible job. Each punch that was thrown missed off the mark and many of them fell down seconds after the fight began.
"Weed is superior, Beer is inferior." One of the deceptibongs said, arguing with an Autodrunk.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLIG INFERIOR, BONGO?" The two rival members then simply passed out before the fight could even begin.
"Ok, this is ridiculous." Zim grabbed Dib in one of his mechanical legs and smashed through a window, running back to the room.
"So what are you their leader or something?" A girl asked, talking with one of the Deceptibongs at the party.
"Yep, the ladies call me Megabong, cause I'm Mega....down there. Get it?"
"Sadly yes. So do you turn into something or what?"
"I turn into a handgun with a lot of power behind it!"
"Really? That's kind of sexy, so you can fire yourself?"
"Well, not really, I need someone to pull my trigger."
"So basically if someone isn't there your useless?"
"......Yes." The girl then walked away giggling as the leader of the deceptibongs hanged his head in shame.
"I never want to remember this night ever again." Dib said, curling into his bed, Zim working on some experiments.
"Don't talk to me stinkbeast, your pitiful attempt at teaching me the ways of the frat was laughable at best."
"Shut up Zim and let me sleep." Dib brought the covers over his head and fell asleep.
Hours later.....
"A horse is a horse of course, of course."
Dib awoke to the strange jibberings of what appeared to be someone talking.
"What the hell?" Dib threw the sheets off his bed, brought out a flashlight and shined it at a large horse, eating his bed spread.
"THE FAMOUS MISTER ED!" The horse said as it's gums went up and down from the large amount of peanut butter Gir had placed on the bed.
End Chapter 4
OOOOO! I know, I'm very sorry. What will happen next? Will Mister Ed become a permenant part of the cast? Will Gaz be overtaken by the mind assasin? Why was it that the leader of the Deceptibongs had such a crappy transformation considering he was the leader? I mean come ON!
Join us next time for.....
Chapter 5: Zim discovers the internet....MAY GOD HELP US ALL!
Zim: A week or so, get off your damn pedestal!
..... Fair enough.
Zim: "Fair enough"? What does that even mean?
Look Zim, just shut up and let me do my monologue and the story will then proceed, hence you get your money.
Zim: My "money" doesn't really satisfy my needs anymore.
What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Zim: I believe my manager's memo should explain everything. *hands E the memo*
Give me that! *starts reading* "On the behalf of said party Zim, my client will receive a total payment of no less than......SIX FIGURES FOR HIS SERVICES?"
Zim: That is correct.
I CAN'T AFFORD THAT!
Zim: I don't have to take this, I'm leaving, you'd better find someone else to replace me cause I'm out! *walks out of room*
WAIT! NO! ....Crap.
Three days later....
All right, it took me three long days of searching but I was finally able to find a replacement for Zim. I would like to introduce all of you to the new Zim!
Hulk: RAAAARR! HULK SMASH!
Ooook, I know this looks bad, but he's green and he works for peanuts.
Hulk: Hulk enjoys the salty taste of nuts.
.......Right. Hulk, if you could meet your costar Dib.
Dib: *walks in* Hey how's it going?
Hulk: HULK DESTROY! *rips Dib's head off and throws it into space.*
DAMMIT HULK! Now I gotta find a new Dib.
Next episode of Invader Zim in College....
Hulk: HULK HATES COLLEGE DIB!
Ted Kennedy/Dib: I'm...soooo messed up right now.
Ooook, that was awful.
Chapter 4: KEGGER!! KEGGER!! KEGGER!!
"Well that was eventful." Dib walked next to Zim as the Irken Invader was swarmed by a mob of college students.
"It most certainly was." Zim pushed his way out of the growing crowd and stood next to Dib. He threw his hands up into the air and pointed his fingers at the crowd with a funny look on his face. Zim then addressed the random mob. "Hmmmmm, I'm getting a little confused. Remind me again whose house it is?"
"PHAT DADDY ZIM'S HOUSE!" The rowdy crowd yelled out in unison, many of which slammed beer bottles together in celebration. Zim crossed his arms and smiled, looking over at the sullen Dib.
"I swear to God, one of these days I'm playing Russian Roulette with six bullets in the chamber."
"You do that, I'll be back in the room later. CARRY ME MY MINIONS!" Zim was then lifted on the shoulders of the druken mob and carried away out of Dib's sight.
Dib trudged his way up to the room and walked through the door. To his dismay, he found Gir sitting on his bed, spreading peanut butter on his sheets and covers. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THAT!"
"I know, this is to help you sleep better." Gir continued to spread peanut butter all over Dib's bed.
"Give me that!" Dib swiped the peanut butter jar and knife out of Gir's hands and threw them in the trash can. "WHY WOULD THAT HELP ME SLEEP?"
"Because if Mr. Ed tries to eat your bed spread, his gums will get all sticky making him look like he's talking. Then, when he's talking, you'll be woken up and get the drop on him."
"......Get off my bed." Gir hopped off Dib's bed. Dib folded up the soiled bed spread and threw it in his closet. "You know now would be the point when I would do my homework, but considering Zim put the fear of God into my teachers, I won't be having homework for quite sometime."
"When I touch mushrooms, I grow bigger. When I touch flowers, I can shoot flamey thingies. When I touch feathers, I get a cape! I'M A PLUMBER!" Gir ran around the room in circles. Dib sat down on his bedspread and stretched out, looking up at the ceiling.
"You know besides Zim, Gir, my crazy sister, and the constant craziness, college hasn't been half bad for the day I've been here. I could get used to living like thi..." Before Dib could finish his sentence, a skeleton like hand burst through the bottom of the bed and grabbed Dib by the shirt. "HOLY CRAP!"
"Sorry." Gaz popped out from underneath the bed with a necklace made up of monkey feces designed in the shape of roses and a bracelet of mouse bones. "I thought a mind assasin was trying to kill me through your bed."
"Gaz, just....just go back to the closet." Dib put his hands on his face and shook his head sobbingly. Gaz saluted her brother, marching back into Zim's closet.
"Please, someone end this nightmare that is my life."
"All right Dib, you must now come with me." Zim said, pushing his way into the room.
"Zim. I'm not helping you with anything."
"You will help me Dib, after all roommates help one another do they not?"
"Hmmmm, if I help Zim maybe I can sabotage whatever the hell he's trying to do and get him kicked out of school in the process, ending this nightmarish scenario." Dib thought to himself.
"All right Zim, you forced it out of me. What do you need?"
"Excellent. I need you to escort me to a 'frat' and to show me what to do there."
"Holy crap! You got invited to a frat party? Which one?"
"Well, they call it..."
Three hours later....
"Welcome to Alpha-Cyber-Beta-Tron. I'm your host for this evening, Optimal Supreme, cause I'm supreme to all the ladies, ohhhh yeeaaahhh." The leader of the frat said, slicking his hair back as he talked to Dib and Zim.
"Whatever." Dib said as Zim looked around the room.
"Kegs are over there, now get drunk and ROLL OUT!" The apparently drunk host then fell to the floor and vomited all over Dib's shoes. "Light...our...darkest...hour."
"OH MAN! MY KICKS!" Dib said wiping off the vomit from his shoes. Zim looked at him strangely and poked Dib in the side.
"Is this part of the 'frat' ritual?" Zim asked inquisitively.
"NO! Just mingle or something while I go clean up." Dib turned his back to Zim and walked away.
"MINGLE I SHALL! I SHALL MINGLE LIKE NONE HAVE EVER MINGLED BEFORE!" Zim walked up to a random girl and punched her in the face. "FEEL MY MINGLE!"
"AAhHh! I just got punched by Phat Daddy Zim!" The girl cried out.
"Yeah." Another girl said, walking up to her. "You are so totally lucky."
"Crap." Dib said as he looked at the long line for the bathroom and looked down at his shoes. "This is just like that stupid movie 'Can't Hardly Wait,' except I'm not in love with some hot chick like...Jennifer...Love..."
"Hi." A girl said as she passed by Dib and winked at him. Dib's jaw dropped to the floor as the girl walked out of his sight.
"Dude." Some drunk guy said as he walked up to Dib and looked at his jaw hitting the floor. "I gotta lay off the beer.....seriously."
Dib lunged out of line trying to find the girl, only to run into Zim.
"Crap! GET OUTTA MY WAY ZIM!"
"NO!" Zim said, his mechanical arms blocking Dib's path. "You have to teach me more!"
Before a fight could ensue between the two enemies, the door slammed open.
"HOLY CRAP!" One of the members of the frat yelled out. "Its the DECEPTIBONGS!"
"THE WHO?" Dib cried as the large group of opposing college kids stormed the party.
"OUR RIVALS! KICK THEIR ASSES!"
"DIE AUTODRUNKS!" The leader of the deceptibongs cried as they tried to fight each other, only to do a very horrible job. Each punch that was thrown missed off the mark and many of them fell down seconds after the fight began.
"Weed is superior, Beer is inferior." One of the deceptibongs said, arguing with an Autodrunk.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLIG INFERIOR, BONGO?" The two rival members then simply passed out before the fight could even begin.
"Ok, this is ridiculous." Zim grabbed Dib in one of his mechanical legs and smashed through a window, running back to the room.
"So what are you their leader or something?" A girl asked, talking with one of the Deceptibongs at the party.
"Yep, the ladies call me Megabong, cause I'm Mega....down there. Get it?"
"Sadly yes. So do you turn into something or what?"
"I turn into a handgun with a lot of power behind it!"
"Really? That's kind of sexy, so you can fire yourself?"
"Well, not really, I need someone to pull my trigger."
"So basically if someone isn't there your useless?"
"......Yes." The girl then walked away giggling as the leader of the deceptibongs hanged his head in shame.
"I never want to remember this night ever again." Dib said, curling into his bed, Zim working on some experiments.
"Don't talk to me stinkbeast, your pitiful attempt at teaching me the ways of the frat was laughable at best."
"Shut up Zim and let me sleep." Dib brought the covers over his head and fell asleep.
Hours later.....
"A horse is a horse of course, of course."
Dib awoke to the strange jibberings of what appeared to be someone talking.
"What the hell?" Dib threw the sheets off his bed, brought out a flashlight and shined it at a large horse, eating his bed spread.
"THE FAMOUS MISTER ED!" The horse said as it's gums went up and down from the large amount of peanut butter Gir had placed on the bed.
End Chapter 4
OOOOO! I know, I'm very sorry. What will happen next? Will Mister Ed become a permenant part of the cast? Will Gaz be overtaken by the mind assasin? Why was it that the leader of the Deceptibongs had such a crappy transformation considering he was the leader? I mean come ON!
Join us next time for.....
Chapter 5: Zim discovers the internet....MAY GOD HELP US ALL!