ITS TIME TO PARTY! WHERE HAVE I BEEN! To answer all of your questions, I've been tunneling through the mines of mole people, eating their skin for warmth. *Scribe E shoots crazy person wearing Scribe E costume*
Ok, thats not the true story. I have been so fraggin busy its been ridiculous. I'll try to write more when I dont have to deal with school....and girlfriends.....and other things. Please, you must still love me. LOOOVVEEE MEEEEEE! *sniff sniff* Do I smell the scent of Sasquatch?
*Scribe then shoots the other guy dressed like him*
Chapter 5: Zim discovers the internet.....MAY GOD HELP US ALL!
"And that is your assignment for the day, all you have to do is find an internet site and destroy it from the inside out." Said the teacher who was twitching every second.
"Uhhhhh, that seems a little.....illegal." Dib said, pointing it out to the teacher.
"It won't be under my new regime. Trust me you'll all be elected praetorians of the swamp once I overtake the queen."
"........."
"........."
"......You make me sad."
"LEAVE NOW!" The teacher said as everyone began to leave the room. "Thats means you too ZIM!"
Zim awoke from his sleep with a large amount of drool hanging from his mouth. "WHAZZIT?"
"Zim, leave." The computer teacher said.
"Yeah Zim, you have to come back to the room and help me get rid of the horse thats plaguing us so much."
Back at the room....
"You'll never get past my fists of death!" Gaz yelled, strapped from head to toe in gladiator armor.
"NEEEEEEEeeeeEEEE!" Mr. Ed cried as he stood on his hind legs, flailing them around.
"Listen I can't make the deal if you don't lure them into the basement. " Gir said, talking on a cell phone made of what appeared to be beer bottles. "WELL USE CANDY!"
Back at the class.....
"I don't need to worry about such infentesimal things. They mean nothing to me." Zim picked up his books and began to walk out the room next to Dib. "All I must do is learn of your silly assignments and do them to fit in."
"*Sigh* Just use the internet Zim and destroy a site."
"In...tttteerrrr...net? What is this net? A weapon?"
"No Zim, its a...." Dib stopped in his tracks as he saw the girl from the Frat. "Computer.....thingie...I GOTTA GO!"
"What? OOF!" Dib pushed Zim out of the way, knocking him into a water fountain. Dib followed the girl, out of Zim's sight. "THOUGHT YOU COULD KILL ME WITH THAT PATHETIC ATTEMPT?"
"No." A sniper said next to Zim loading his gun.
"What the?"
"Don't ask questions. It makes things hard." The sniper then disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"Oook. Now where is the computer lab?" Zim looked over the halls and saw a door labeled 'Compuueterz' "This must be it. These human information boxes will be nothing before the might of an Irken elite."
Zim walked into the room and sat at the nearest computer. He looked over the screen and keyboard.
"Doesn't seem to difficult."
Attempt #1.....
"All right, lets see how you turn this on. Hmmmm." Zim smacked the side of monitor and then kicked the screen. "My vast knowledge shall uncover your secrets."
Zim thought to himself for five seconds then looked back at the screen. "AH HA!"
"OH MY GOD!" A student said as she walked in on Zim eating the mouse.
"Nothing wrong here other student worm. I'm simply using this compador to function my inner thoughts."
Attempt #2.....
"All right, I got this disgusting box to turn on somehow." Zim said to himself, his toe accidently hitting the on button. "Note to self, to operate computer, eat the oval shaped object with a string."
Zim looked at the screen once again and began to ponder. "Now how do I get onto the internet."
"*Sigh*" An internet geek sitting behind him said. "You have to click on the internet icon."
"I see." Zim said as he investigated the screen more.
"Why are you breaking the screen with a hammer?" The internet geek asked as Zim proceeded to smack the glass.
"I'm surfing the web!"
Attempt #3.......
"Ok, luckily that geek baby was able to get me onto the internet. Now all I must do is conquer it, then THE WORLD! Now to go to a human website." Zim confusedly looked at the buttons of the keyboard and pressed one randomly. As he hit a set of keys, thousands of windows with pictures of porn showed up on the screen. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"YOU IDIOT!" The geek cried. "YOU HIT THE PORN BUTTON! TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER BEFORE ITS...."
The computer then exploded from all the excess porno.
Attempt #4......
"Ok, I'm surfing the web now." Zim said on another computer. "Lets see, this ssseeeaarrccch engine will help me to find what I seek. I shall type in animals first to see what happens."
Zim proceeded to type in animals and then hit enter. Thousands of beastiality windows then popped up onto his screen.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The computer then exploded in Zim's face.
Attempt #5......
"Very well. Now this computer shall work for me." Zim said on yet another computer. "Now I shall search for..."
"Whatcha doin?" Gir interrupted.
"GIR! PUT ON YOUR COSTUME BEFORE SOMEONE SEES YOU!" Zim yelled. Gir looked around for two seconds then kciked Zim out of the chair.
"OOOOO WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON?"
"GIR NOOOOOOO!" The computer was then swamped with porn and exploded.
Attempt #6......
"BLAST YOU! WORK YOU PIECE OF FILTH! WWOOOORRRKKKK!" Zim hit the keys as hard as he could, causing something to show up on the screen. "Wha?"
"Oh my God kid, you found a website without porno!" The internet geek said.
"I did didn't I?" Zim looked at the screen closer and viewed the website. "It says, 'Do you not like porn? Then you've come to right place, click on this for more!' Very well."
Zim clicked on the link causing thousands upon thousands of ads to show up on the computer.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Failure......
"How was your day on the net, Zim?" Dib said sitting in his room, in a body cast.
"So...much....porn...." Zim muttered, walking into the room.
"Thats usually the most common response."
"What happened to you stinkboy?"
Dib sighed to himself. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"NEEEEEEeeeEEEEEEEEEE!" Mr. Ed cried.
"GOOD LORD!" Dib cried as he tried to move futily. The large horse then dropped on top of the injured boy as it moved its gums up and down.
End Chapter 5
I know, I know. That was pretty bad. I blame the horse. Will Dib recover? Will Zim ever be free of Porn? Will Mr Ed go away? What happened to Dib?
Join us next time for......
Chapter 6: What happened to Dib? Wait I said that already. NO I SAID IT IN THE CHAPTER TITLE! OH NO THIS IS ALL GONNA BE THE TITLE! Stop talking....now.......ok now......NOW!......Damn.
Ok, thats not the true story. I have been so fraggin busy its been ridiculous. I'll try to write more when I dont have to deal with school....and girlfriends.....and other things. Please, you must still love me. LOOOVVEEE MEEEEEE! *sniff sniff* Do I smell the scent of Sasquatch?
*Scribe then shoots the other guy dressed like him*
Chapter 5: Zim discovers the internet.....MAY GOD HELP US ALL!
"And that is your assignment for the day, all you have to do is find an internet site and destroy it from the inside out." Said the teacher who was twitching every second.
"Uhhhhh, that seems a little.....illegal." Dib said, pointing it out to the teacher.
"It won't be under my new regime. Trust me you'll all be elected praetorians of the swamp once I overtake the queen."
"........."
"........."
"......You make me sad."
"LEAVE NOW!" The teacher said as everyone began to leave the room. "Thats means you too ZIM!"
Zim awoke from his sleep with a large amount of drool hanging from his mouth. "WHAZZIT?"
"Zim, leave." The computer teacher said.
"Yeah Zim, you have to come back to the room and help me get rid of the horse thats plaguing us so much."
Back at the room....
"You'll never get past my fists of death!" Gaz yelled, strapped from head to toe in gladiator armor.
"NEEEEEEEeeeeEEEE!" Mr. Ed cried as he stood on his hind legs, flailing them around.
"Listen I can't make the deal if you don't lure them into the basement. " Gir said, talking on a cell phone made of what appeared to be beer bottles. "WELL USE CANDY!"
Back at the class.....
"I don't need to worry about such infentesimal things. They mean nothing to me." Zim picked up his books and began to walk out the room next to Dib. "All I must do is learn of your silly assignments and do them to fit in."
"*Sigh* Just use the internet Zim and destroy a site."
"In...tttteerrrr...net? What is this net? A weapon?"
"No Zim, its a...." Dib stopped in his tracks as he saw the girl from the Frat. "Computer.....thingie...I GOTTA GO!"
"What? OOF!" Dib pushed Zim out of the way, knocking him into a water fountain. Dib followed the girl, out of Zim's sight. "THOUGHT YOU COULD KILL ME WITH THAT PATHETIC ATTEMPT?"
"No." A sniper said next to Zim loading his gun.
"What the?"
"Don't ask questions. It makes things hard." The sniper then disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"Oook. Now where is the computer lab?" Zim looked over the halls and saw a door labeled 'Compuueterz' "This must be it. These human information boxes will be nothing before the might of an Irken elite."
Zim walked into the room and sat at the nearest computer. He looked over the screen and keyboard.
"Doesn't seem to difficult."
Attempt #1.....
"All right, lets see how you turn this on. Hmmmm." Zim smacked the side of monitor and then kicked the screen. "My vast knowledge shall uncover your secrets."
Zim thought to himself for five seconds then looked back at the screen. "AH HA!"
"OH MY GOD!" A student said as she walked in on Zim eating the mouse.
"Nothing wrong here other student worm. I'm simply using this compador to function my inner thoughts."
Attempt #2.....
"All right, I got this disgusting box to turn on somehow." Zim said to himself, his toe accidently hitting the on button. "Note to self, to operate computer, eat the oval shaped object with a string."
Zim looked at the screen once again and began to ponder. "Now how do I get onto the internet."
"*Sigh*" An internet geek sitting behind him said. "You have to click on the internet icon."
"I see." Zim said as he investigated the screen more.
"Why are you breaking the screen with a hammer?" The internet geek asked as Zim proceeded to smack the glass.
"I'm surfing the web!"
Attempt #3.......
"Ok, luckily that geek baby was able to get me onto the internet. Now all I must do is conquer it, then THE WORLD! Now to go to a human website." Zim confusedly looked at the buttons of the keyboard and pressed one randomly. As he hit a set of keys, thousands of windows with pictures of porn showed up on the screen. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"YOU IDIOT!" The geek cried. "YOU HIT THE PORN BUTTON! TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER BEFORE ITS...."
The computer then exploded from all the excess porno.
Attempt #4......
"Ok, I'm surfing the web now." Zim said on another computer. "Lets see, this ssseeeaarrccch engine will help me to find what I seek. I shall type in animals first to see what happens."
Zim proceeded to type in animals and then hit enter. Thousands of beastiality windows then popped up onto his screen.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The computer then exploded in Zim's face.
Attempt #5......
"Very well. Now this computer shall work for me." Zim said on yet another computer. "Now I shall search for..."
"Whatcha doin?" Gir interrupted.
"GIR! PUT ON YOUR COSTUME BEFORE SOMEONE SEES YOU!" Zim yelled. Gir looked around for two seconds then kciked Zim out of the chair.
"OOOOO WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON?"
"GIR NOOOOOOO!" The computer was then swamped with porn and exploded.
Attempt #6......
"BLAST YOU! WORK YOU PIECE OF FILTH! WWOOOORRRKKKK!" Zim hit the keys as hard as he could, causing something to show up on the screen. "Wha?"
"Oh my God kid, you found a website without porno!" The internet geek said.
"I did didn't I?" Zim looked at the screen closer and viewed the website. "It says, 'Do you not like porn? Then you've come to right place, click on this for more!' Very well."
Zim clicked on the link causing thousands upon thousands of ads to show up on the computer.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Failure......
"How was your day on the net, Zim?" Dib said sitting in his room, in a body cast.
"So...much....porn...." Zim muttered, walking into the room.
"Thats usually the most common response."
"What happened to you stinkboy?"
Dib sighed to himself. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"NEEEEEEeeeEEEEEEEEEE!" Mr. Ed cried.
"GOOD LORD!" Dib cried as he tried to move futily. The large horse then dropped on top of the injured boy as it moved its gums up and down.
End Chapter 5
I know, I know. That was pretty bad. I blame the horse. Will Dib recover? Will Zim ever be free of Porn? Will Mr Ed go away? What happened to Dib?
Join us next time for......
Chapter 6: What happened to Dib? Wait I said that already. NO I SAID IT IN THE CHAPTER TITLE! OH NO THIS IS ALL GONNA BE THE TITLE! Stop talking....now.......ok now......NOW!......Damn.