Well hello there kids! Guess what? A stuido has heard about my stories and has decided to make an autobiographical movie about yours truly! Here is the trailer for it....Yeah the actual trailer itself is in word form.....Shut up.
*trailer starts*
Scribe E: If someone were to tell you that I was just an ordinary kid, not a care in the world, well....somebody lied.
*Scribe E is shown swinging across New York on hot dog strands wearing pantyhose*
Scribe E: It wasn't always like this.
*shown at a crackhouse laboratory*
Scribe E: *to a old man in a diaper* Could I get your picture? For the uhhhh paper....yeah thats it. The paper.
Old man in Diaper: I don't know where I am right now.
Scribe E: That's great. *starts taking pictures as spider lowers towards his hand. The spider lowers itself onto his hand but is then whacked away by an insane looking Gir who then bites his hand instead.* SON OF A....!
Scribe E's drunken uncle: Lissen Scrub E, yous changin. I know, i's went thruoush the same thang.
Scribe E: Not exactly. GET IT CAUSE IM A SUPER HERO! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Forget I said anything.
*zooms to a hospital room*
Crazy old woman with no teeth: He's saved me twice and I don't even know his name.
Scribe E: *asleep in the corner* HUH WHAT?
*zooms to brooklyn bridge*
Scribe E: Who am I?.....I'm Scribe E!
BOOM BOOM BUM BOOM BOOM *continues through scenes of Scribe E fighting a one legged dog on a glider*
*zooms back to hospital room.*
Scribe E's near dead aunt: You do too much. You're not superman you know.
Scribe E: GET IT I REALLY AM A SUPERHERO AND SHE COMPARED ME TO SUPERMAN! DO YOU GET IT?
Aunt: Who are you talking to?
Scribe E: Uhhhhh GO TO SLEEP! *Shoots hot dogs out of wrist at aunt, killing her instantly.*
*Ends trailer*
Ok....it needs a little work. Enjoy the new chapter. *Sigh* So gonna get sued.
Invader Zim: The College Years
Chapter 8: Strips Ahoy Numero Dos
"Tak? As in the Tak you tried to destroy the world from a weiner stand Tak? That Tak?" Dib asked, pointing at the disguised Irken Invader.
"Yes that one. Not too many other Taks on this planet I bet. And would you please stop saying Tak?"
".....Tak Tak Takkity Tak." Tak then slapped Dib over the head, causing him to hit his head on the table. "Sorry."
"You should be."
"So how are you here? Working in a strip club, still on earth, all this time later?" Dib asked.
"Well its an interesting story. It all started when I was blown out of space by Zim cause of Mimi's malfunction. I was stranded. All my technology reduced to rubble. I had nothing to work with. Rather then asking you or Zim for help and disgracing myself in the process. I lived on earth and took many different appearances."
"And this isn't disgracing?" Dib asked, waving his arm to the side showing the dirt that was the strip club.
"Could be worse." Tak said, leaning back in her chair.
"Yeah, you could be still at that weiner stand trying to fill the world with snacks. What were you thinking?"
"It was a good plan. The tallest would have been pleased."
"I mean jeez!" Dib started waving his hands high above his head. "Of all the stupid plans."
"All right enough." Tak said, looking angrier by the moment.
"STUPID PLAN! STUPID!"
"SHUT UP!"
"STUPID!"
"SHUT UP!"
"........"
"........" The two former enemies looked at each other silently for a minute.
"STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!"
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Tak jumped over the table and started slamming his head against the floor. After a couple good hits, Tak let up on Dib's beating. "Are you done now?"
"Yes." Tak released Dib's head from her grasp. "No wait one more: STUPID!"
Tak screamed out in anger and kicked Dib in the stomach causing him to keel over.
Meanwhile on the other end of the strip club....
"Blasted College Lingo Device." Zim said, appearing to have finally fixed the device on his neck which gave him the ability to speak "college". "The power of Zim's own lingo is sufficient in this venture!"
"YO PHAT DADDY!" One of the rambunxious college kids yelled, walking up to Zim.
"Why hello there stink person for whom I care not enough to learn your name." Zim said waving.
"Yo, youse gots to try this jizung in this glizass." The college kid placed a shot glass on the table filled with a clear liquid.
"What be this?..... says I."
"This be the shiznittle bang snip snap snappa." The college kid said, sticking out his tongue and pointing at the glass with both index fingers. "Its Everclear yo!"
"Ever...clear?" Zim said suspiciously.
"Yeah, its the bizomb. Take one shot of dis noise and you'll get mad honeyz."
"It is lucky for you, human worm, that Zim indeed enjoys his honeys! I shall partake of this dirt drink." Zim grabbed the glass and instantly chugged the shot.
"HOLY CRAP DUDE!"
"What say you?" Zim asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I've never seen ANYONE drink a shot that fast! At least not without goin damn near crazy." The college kid said, mouth still ajar.
"I...don't...." A large smile grew on Zim's face as his eyes grew smaller, the alcohol obviously taking effect.
"You all right dude?"
".......Bannana people are hoarding my shoelaces."
Back at Dib and Tak's Table.....
"So you basically got a job here to maintain a living on earth?" Dib asked.
"Well, that and I can use the dancers as test subjects in my experiments. Did you not see the last dancer having three arms?"
"Now that you mention it...." Dib scratched his chin. "Hey what happened to your robot?"
"Mimi?" Tak responded. "I sold her for a can of hash and some coffee during a very bad time in my life. I was so out of it, I forgot that human food burns me. I almost burned my larynx out! HAHAHAHA!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!" The two laughed for a good minute. "Wait why are we laughing?"
"Cause my life was so funny when I was CLAWING FOR LIFE ON THIS PATHETIC ROCK! WASN'T IT?" Tak burst into tears.
"Hey come on." Dib said, consoling the female invader. "Don't you remember how bad my life is? Jeez I have a horse in my freaking dorm room, nothing is worse then that."
Tak stopped crying and laughed a little.
"Guess you're right." Tak wiped her face off. "I don't understand you humans sometimes."
"Whys that?"
"Well you live in stupidity and horrible things and yet you seem content with your lives."
"Yeah thats humanity for you." Dib said smiling. "Too blind to see the muck in front of our faces."
"HAHAHA!"
"HAHAHA!" The two laughed together once again.
"You always were funny, even back in your filthy elementary school."
"Yeah you were cool too Tak." Dib said. "Despite the whole, you know, trying to blow up the earth thing."
"That is so overwith. Well at least for the moment." Tak said, thinking about her past attempt.
"Cool. That's...." Dib then noticed Tak's hand on his. "Cool?"
Just as this happened, one of the poles used for the dancers flew at their table, knocking it over, spilling drinks on both Dib and Tak.
"What the....Oh no." Dib said, sighing and shaking his head in his hands.
"HEY EVERYBODY!" Zim yelled, standing on the dancers' walkway, obviously drunk out of his mind. His shoes were on his hands, his gloves were on his feet, he was wearing what appeared to be a suit made out of beer cans and the strips of paper used for his fake goatee were sticking out of his nose and ears. "I'M A SEXY BOY!"
"Ziiiimmmmmmmmm." Tak said in the most evil voice Dib had ever heard. Her holographic disguise disintegrated, revealing the Irken Invader in her true form. She was still wearing the same outfit that she had worn so many years ago, but she now was strangely as tall as Dib. Her metallic spider legs shot out of her metallic backpack and she practically flew at Zim as she leaped from table to table.
"Did someone call the name of the self appointed Queen of Amsterdam?" Zim said, turning to see Tak's fist fly at his fist. The collision to Zim's face caused him to fly through the wall of the strip club.
"Do you know," Tak said as she walked past the rubble made by Zim's collision with the wall towards Zim. "how long I've been waiting to get revenge on you for what you did to me?"
"......." Zim said nothing as Tak grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him up to her face.
"Have you nothing to say ZIM? NOTHING TO ATONE FOR THE PAIN YOU CAUSED ME?" Tak shook Zim back and forth. As Tak did this, Zim looked even worse, his cheeks now puffing up.
"Oh no Tak. Wait don't...." Dib tried to stop Tak, but it was too late. Zim vomitted all over his female Irken assailant. The whole bar seemed to stop at the same time looking at the vomit covered Tak. Shaking, she let Zim fall to the ground. The vomit seemed to evaporate off Tak as steam began to shoot up from her, caused by her unbelievable anger.
"I can splain." Zim said, still drunk out of his mind.
"You....YOU....." Tak's metallic arms began to surge with energy as they got ready to fire an earth shattering blow at Zim. A second before the power was released however...
"EVERYBODY FREEZE! THIS IS A RAID!" The police sprang through the door, pointing guns and handcuffs at all the people in the establishment.
"CHEEZE IT, IT'S THE FUZZ!" Zim cried as him and everyone in the strip club jumped out of the hole Tak had made, running madly to safety.
"Huff Huff Huff." Dib panted as he ran next to Tak, who had Zim in tow by the scurff of his neck. "This is so bad."
"Yes it is." Tak said running as fast as Dib.
"DUDE!" One of the college kids said, running away from the cops like everyone else. "Dib that freakin chick is an alien yo."
"Uhhh No. She's just a..." Dib thought of an explanation. "weather balloon."
Tak slapped her free hand to her forehead.
"Ok cool." The college kid ran away satisfied.
"You see *pant Huff*, earthlings are content and stupid to boot." The two laughed, still running away from the police.
"By the way Tak. How is it your as tall as I am now?"
"Well your human alcohol causes Irken biologies to change and morph, causing unexpected results, as you can see from my and apparently Zim's growth pattern. During one of the bad times in my life I consumed a little too much."
"I get it."
Later outside Dib and Zim's dorm room......
"So..." Dib said leaning against his door, hand in his hair. "That was fun right?"
Tak laughed.
"Yes, it was....fun." Tak leaned against the door as well, right next to Dib.
"So what happens now with you Tak?"
"I don't know..." Tak said, kicking the ground. "Probably get another filthy job and work to stay alive on this disgusting mudball. No offense."
"None taken."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Well good night." The two said at the same time. Dib walked towards his door, only to be flung around by Tak who gave him a deep kiss. After about two minutes, she let him go.
"HOLY CRAP!" Dib yelled out.
"Yep." Tak replied smiling.
"How do you even know how to do that?"
"Cable."
"Figures." Dib laughed. "So you wanna uhhhh cake?"
"Cake? What the hell are you talking about?" Tak asked, scratching one of her antenna.
"You know, the Irken word for sex or whatever."
"What are you talking about? On Irk Sex is Sex. I don't know where you got 'caking' from."
"Wait if Zim doesn't know about sex then what the hell was he doing that was called caking?" Dib shuddered, trying not to think about it.
"Anyway, I'll see you around, stinky human." Tak softly punched Dib's arm.
"Right back at ya." Dib did the same. Right before he entered his room, Dib spun around. "Wait Tak, what did you do with Zim?"
"Something so horrible its not meant for human ears." Tak winked and started walking away. "I threw him in your closet."
Meanwhile in Dib's closet.....
"HEEELLLLPPP MEEEEEE!" Zim cried out as a boney claw, a metallic hand, and a hoof pulled him into the darkness.
Epilogue.....
"PITIFUL HUMAN! YOU PRACTICALLY SERVED ME UP TO HER!" Zim cried out, having escaped from the closet, no worse for wear.
"Yeah yeah. Caking....yeesh." Dib muttered to himself. Just then, a knock came at the door.
"Probably another wretch trying to get Phat Daddy Zim's digits." Zim said as he reached for the doorknob. Right as he touched the knob, the door flung open, crashing him into the wall. In the hall stood Tak, suticases under each arm and huge smile on her face.
"Room for one more?"
End Chapter 8............
BUM BUM BUM!
*trailer starts*
Scribe E: If someone were to tell you that I was just an ordinary kid, not a care in the world, well....somebody lied.
*Scribe E is shown swinging across New York on hot dog strands wearing pantyhose*
Scribe E: It wasn't always like this.
*shown at a crackhouse laboratory*
Scribe E: *to a old man in a diaper* Could I get your picture? For the uhhhh paper....yeah thats it. The paper.
Old man in Diaper: I don't know where I am right now.
Scribe E: That's great. *starts taking pictures as spider lowers towards his hand. The spider lowers itself onto his hand but is then whacked away by an insane looking Gir who then bites his hand instead.* SON OF A....!
Scribe E's drunken uncle: Lissen Scrub E, yous changin. I know, i's went thruoush the same thang.
Scribe E: Not exactly. GET IT CAUSE IM A SUPER HERO! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Forget I said anything.
*zooms to a hospital room*
Crazy old woman with no teeth: He's saved me twice and I don't even know his name.
Scribe E: *asleep in the corner* HUH WHAT?
*zooms to brooklyn bridge*
Scribe E: Who am I?.....I'm Scribe E!
BOOM BOOM BUM BOOM BOOM *continues through scenes of Scribe E fighting a one legged dog on a glider*
*zooms back to hospital room.*
Scribe E's near dead aunt: You do too much. You're not superman you know.
Scribe E: GET IT I REALLY AM A SUPERHERO AND SHE COMPARED ME TO SUPERMAN! DO YOU GET IT?
Aunt: Who are you talking to?
Scribe E: Uhhhhh GO TO SLEEP! *Shoots hot dogs out of wrist at aunt, killing her instantly.*
*Ends trailer*
Ok....it needs a little work. Enjoy the new chapter. *Sigh* So gonna get sued.
Invader Zim: The College Years
Chapter 8: Strips Ahoy Numero Dos
"Tak? As in the Tak you tried to destroy the world from a weiner stand Tak? That Tak?" Dib asked, pointing at the disguised Irken Invader.
"Yes that one. Not too many other Taks on this planet I bet. And would you please stop saying Tak?"
".....Tak Tak Takkity Tak." Tak then slapped Dib over the head, causing him to hit his head on the table. "Sorry."
"You should be."
"So how are you here? Working in a strip club, still on earth, all this time later?" Dib asked.
"Well its an interesting story. It all started when I was blown out of space by Zim cause of Mimi's malfunction. I was stranded. All my technology reduced to rubble. I had nothing to work with. Rather then asking you or Zim for help and disgracing myself in the process. I lived on earth and took many different appearances."
"And this isn't disgracing?" Dib asked, waving his arm to the side showing the dirt that was the strip club.
"Could be worse." Tak said, leaning back in her chair.
"Yeah, you could be still at that weiner stand trying to fill the world with snacks. What were you thinking?"
"It was a good plan. The tallest would have been pleased."
"I mean jeez!" Dib started waving his hands high above his head. "Of all the stupid plans."
"All right enough." Tak said, looking angrier by the moment.
"STUPID PLAN! STUPID!"
"SHUT UP!"
"STUPID!"
"SHUT UP!"
"........"
"........" The two former enemies looked at each other silently for a minute.
"STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!"
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Tak jumped over the table and started slamming his head against the floor. After a couple good hits, Tak let up on Dib's beating. "Are you done now?"
"Yes." Tak released Dib's head from her grasp. "No wait one more: STUPID!"
Tak screamed out in anger and kicked Dib in the stomach causing him to keel over.
Meanwhile on the other end of the strip club....
"Blasted College Lingo Device." Zim said, appearing to have finally fixed the device on his neck which gave him the ability to speak "college". "The power of Zim's own lingo is sufficient in this venture!"
"YO PHAT DADDY!" One of the rambunxious college kids yelled, walking up to Zim.
"Why hello there stink person for whom I care not enough to learn your name." Zim said waving.
"Yo, youse gots to try this jizung in this glizass." The college kid placed a shot glass on the table filled with a clear liquid.
"What be this?..... says I."
"This be the shiznittle bang snip snap snappa." The college kid said, sticking out his tongue and pointing at the glass with both index fingers. "Its Everclear yo!"
"Ever...clear?" Zim said suspiciously.
"Yeah, its the bizomb. Take one shot of dis noise and you'll get mad honeyz."
"It is lucky for you, human worm, that Zim indeed enjoys his honeys! I shall partake of this dirt drink." Zim grabbed the glass and instantly chugged the shot.
"HOLY CRAP DUDE!"
"What say you?" Zim asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I've never seen ANYONE drink a shot that fast! At least not without goin damn near crazy." The college kid said, mouth still ajar.
"I...don't...." A large smile grew on Zim's face as his eyes grew smaller, the alcohol obviously taking effect.
"You all right dude?"
".......Bannana people are hoarding my shoelaces."
Back at Dib and Tak's Table.....
"So you basically got a job here to maintain a living on earth?" Dib asked.
"Well, that and I can use the dancers as test subjects in my experiments. Did you not see the last dancer having three arms?"
"Now that you mention it...." Dib scratched his chin. "Hey what happened to your robot?"
"Mimi?" Tak responded. "I sold her for a can of hash and some coffee during a very bad time in my life. I was so out of it, I forgot that human food burns me. I almost burned my larynx out! HAHAHAHA!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!" The two laughed for a good minute. "Wait why are we laughing?"
"Cause my life was so funny when I was CLAWING FOR LIFE ON THIS PATHETIC ROCK! WASN'T IT?" Tak burst into tears.
"Hey come on." Dib said, consoling the female invader. "Don't you remember how bad my life is? Jeez I have a horse in my freaking dorm room, nothing is worse then that."
Tak stopped crying and laughed a little.
"Guess you're right." Tak wiped her face off. "I don't understand you humans sometimes."
"Whys that?"
"Well you live in stupidity and horrible things and yet you seem content with your lives."
"Yeah thats humanity for you." Dib said smiling. "Too blind to see the muck in front of our faces."
"HAHAHA!"
"HAHAHA!" The two laughed together once again.
"You always were funny, even back in your filthy elementary school."
"Yeah you were cool too Tak." Dib said. "Despite the whole, you know, trying to blow up the earth thing."
"That is so overwith. Well at least for the moment." Tak said, thinking about her past attempt.
"Cool. That's...." Dib then noticed Tak's hand on his. "Cool?"
Just as this happened, one of the poles used for the dancers flew at their table, knocking it over, spilling drinks on both Dib and Tak.
"What the....Oh no." Dib said, sighing and shaking his head in his hands.
"HEY EVERYBODY!" Zim yelled, standing on the dancers' walkway, obviously drunk out of his mind. His shoes were on his hands, his gloves were on his feet, he was wearing what appeared to be a suit made out of beer cans and the strips of paper used for his fake goatee were sticking out of his nose and ears. "I'M A SEXY BOY!"
"Ziiiimmmmmmmmm." Tak said in the most evil voice Dib had ever heard. Her holographic disguise disintegrated, revealing the Irken Invader in her true form. She was still wearing the same outfit that she had worn so many years ago, but she now was strangely as tall as Dib. Her metallic spider legs shot out of her metallic backpack and she practically flew at Zim as she leaped from table to table.
"Did someone call the name of the self appointed Queen of Amsterdam?" Zim said, turning to see Tak's fist fly at his fist. The collision to Zim's face caused him to fly through the wall of the strip club.
"Do you know," Tak said as she walked past the rubble made by Zim's collision with the wall towards Zim. "how long I've been waiting to get revenge on you for what you did to me?"
"......." Zim said nothing as Tak grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him up to her face.
"Have you nothing to say ZIM? NOTHING TO ATONE FOR THE PAIN YOU CAUSED ME?" Tak shook Zim back and forth. As Tak did this, Zim looked even worse, his cheeks now puffing up.
"Oh no Tak. Wait don't...." Dib tried to stop Tak, but it was too late. Zim vomitted all over his female Irken assailant. The whole bar seemed to stop at the same time looking at the vomit covered Tak. Shaking, she let Zim fall to the ground. The vomit seemed to evaporate off Tak as steam began to shoot up from her, caused by her unbelievable anger.
"I can splain." Zim said, still drunk out of his mind.
"You....YOU....." Tak's metallic arms began to surge with energy as they got ready to fire an earth shattering blow at Zim. A second before the power was released however...
"EVERYBODY FREEZE! THIS IS A RAID!" The police sprang through the door, pointing guns and handcuffs at all the people in the establishment.
"CHEEZE IT, IT'S THE FUZZ!" Zim cried as him and everyone in the strip club jumped out of the hole Tak had made, running madly to safety.
"Huff Huff Huff." Dib panted as he ran next to Tak, who had Zim in tow by the scurff of his neck. "This is so bad."
"Yes it is." Tak said running as fast as Dib.
"DUDE!" One of the college kids said, running away from the cops like everyone else. "Dib that freakin chick is an alien yo."
"Uhhh No. She's just a..." Dib thought of an explanation. "weather balloon."
Tak slapped her free hand to her forehead.
"Ok cool." The college kid ran away satisfied.
"You see *pant Huff*, earthlings are content and stupid to boot." The two laughed, still running away from the police.
"By the way Tak. How is it your as tall as I am now?"
"Well your human alcohol causes Irken biologies to change and morph, causing unexpected results, as you can see from my and apparently Zim's growth pattern. During one of the bad times in my life I consumed a little too much."
"I get it."
Later outside Dib and Zim's dorm room......
"So..." Dib said leaning against his door, hand in his hair. "That was fun right?"
Tak laughed.
"Yes, it was....fun." Tak leaned against the door as well, right next to Dib.
"So what happens now with you Tak?"
"I don't know..." Tak said, kicking the ground. "Probably get another filthy job and work to stay alive on this disgusting mudball. No offense."
"None taken."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."
"Well good night." The two said at the same time. Dib walked towards his door, only to be flung around by Tak who gave him a deep kiss. After about two minutes, she let him go.
"HOLY CRAP!" Dib yelled out.
"Yep." Tak replied smiling.
"How do you even know how to do that?"
"Cable."
"Figures." Dib laughed. "So you wanna uhhhh cake?"
"Cake? What the hell are you talking about?" Tak asked, scratching one of her antenna.
"You know, the Irken word for sex or whatever."
"What are you talking about? On Irk Sex is Sex. I don't know where you got 'caking' from."
"Wait if Zim doesn't know about sex then what the hell was he doing that was called caking?" Dib shuddered, trying not to think about it.
"Anyway, I'll see you around, stinky human." Tak softly punched Dib's arm.
"Right back at ya." Dib did the same. Right before he entered his room, Dib spun around. "Wait Tak, what did you do with Zim?"
"Something so horrible its not meant for human ears." Tak winked and started walking away. "I threw him in your closet."
Meanwhile in Dib's closet.....
"HEEELLLLPPP MEEEEEE!" Zim cried out as a boney claw, a metallic hand, and a hoof pulled him into the darkness.
Epilogue.....
"PITIFUL HUMAN! YOU PRACTICALLY SERVED ME UP TO HER!" Zim cried out, having escaped from the closet, no worse for wear.
"Yeah yeah. Caking....yeesh." Dib muttered to himself. Just then, a knock came at the door.
"Probably another wretch trying to get Phat Daddy Zim's digits." Zim said as he reached for the doorknob. Right as he touched the knob, the door flung open, crashing him into the wall. In the hall stood Tak, suticases under each arm and huge smile on her face.
"Room for one more?"
End Chapter 8............
BUM BUM BUM!