Do you know the message of the E? Do you? I don't think you do, well let me enlighten you. The message is to set the writer free. Not the writer in Zimbabwee mind you, the writer right here *points to chest* in your heart. Him too, but not until you've set the one in you free. I'm saying quit your day job. Most of you say nuts to you Scribe E, I can't quit my day job, I have kids man. Well I'm saying Screw the kids. WHOA! Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying SCREW the kids, I'm saying screw the kids. Now listen, after a couple years of earnet concentrated effort on your writing craft, I will swoop in and urge you to continue....
OR I WILL SAY STOP! AND I SWEAR I DON'T CARE WHAT I SAID BEFORE, WHEN I SAY STOP: STOP or else penalties will be thought up.
Ok that was silly. Much obliged to Tenacious D *The greatest band in the world* for that intro and Tak's rhyming skills. What do I mean by Tak's rhyming skills one may ask? Stick around and find out.
Invader Zim: The College Years
Chapter 9: Bust A Rhyme!
"You ever look up at the stars and wonder what mysteries they have within them? The numerous civilizations they've shined over in their million years of existence? The infinite possibilities can boggle the mind!" Dib yelled out, lying next to Tak on top of the roof of the dorm building. "Ever wonder Tak?"
"Well..." Tak said, looking up at the stars as Dib was next to her. "No."
"Oh yeah." Dib looked over at the smiling Tak, shaking his head. "I forgot you're an invader of the GREAT IRKEN ELITE!"
"Stop it silly." Tak smiled.
"SEEING THE UNIVERSE! BLASTING ACROSS THE UNIVERSE IN YOUR SPACESHIP! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO!"
"HAHAHAHA! STOP IT YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME THROW UP! HAHAHAHA!" Tak laughed hysterically as Dib got up and started mimicing a spaceshi[ rocketing through the universe.
"I MUST INVADE! INVADE THE UNIVERSE IN MY GO POD!" Dib crouched in a ball and started rolling around the roof, Tak still laughing hysterically.
"HAHAHAHHAHA...I..HAHAHAH...CAN'T....HAHAHAHAHA....STOP!" Tears swelled up in the female Irken's eyes as she laughed uncontrollably at Dib's impression. Her arms flailed about wildly, unknowingly to Dib.
"I'M THE TALLEST! I COMMAND AN EMPIRE BASED ON MY HEIGHT!" Tak burst out laughing even harder, arms flailing even more. Unfortunately for Dib, he did not notice Tak's flailing arms. As he got close to Tak, her right arm slapped against Dib's legs, causing him to trip up and head toward the edge of the roof.
"I...Dib?" Tak looked over to see no Dib in sight, only to hear out a high pitched scream.
"OOOHHHHHH CRRRAAAAAA...." Dib couldn't get the curse all the way out as he spiralled toward the ground below and slammed into it at full force.
The next day.....
"I said I was sorry." Tak said, sitting on the floor of the dorm room, right next to Dib's bed. Dib laid there, staring at the ceiling above him, shaking his head, scratching at the cast on his arm.
"Yeah I know. Wasn't your fault. But still I would've liked it better had my arm not been fractured in three different spots!"
"Want me to make it up to you by using my image inducer to make me look like a naked Anna Kornakova?"
"I....Yeah?" Dib said smirking, just as Zim burst through the door.
"Oh great!" Zim said sarcastically. "She's still here!"
"Yeah Zim, had you not noticed, Tak and I are dating."
"....That's wrong on so many levels." Zim said shaking his head. "How will you even cake?"
"You mean you really do think....?" Tak questioned, giving Zim the strangest look ever. "Ewwww."
"The tallest told me all about the cakes and the bees when I was a young invader. Although they seemed to be giggling throughout the whole explanation, maybe because they were so happy of my understanding of the ritual at such a young age!"
"......." Dib and Tak looked at each other silently, freaked out of their minds.
"WHAT? WHAT?" Zim cried out, waving his arms up and down.
"NOTHING!" Both Dib and Tak yelled out at the same time. Zim shook his head and a slumped onto his bed.
"So anyway, I was thinking of trying out a new human form. I have it narrowed down to two images." Tak explained to Dib.
"Oh yeah? Thats cool. Obviously they'll no doubt be better than Zim's disguises." Dib said pointing over to the poorly disguised Zim.
"I'll have you know that my disguise is flawless to your human species." Zim proclaimed proudly.
"Your eyes falling out." Tak said, pointing at the dangling human eye contact on Zim's eye lid.
"Easily rectified, I just need to..." As Zim said this, he breathed in a little too deeply, causing the contact to fly into his mouth. Shocked by the occurence, Zim swallowed the eye causing it to lodge in his throat. "AAAAAKKKKK!"
"Hehe, I don't even have to try to get revenge on Zim. His life's bad enough." Tak said, snickering at Zim's predicament.
"Think we should help him?" Dib asked.
"Give it twenty minutes." Tak said, Zim slamming his throat into the wall in a futile attempt to dislodge the eye.
"So anyway, lets see those disguises."
"Right." Tak pressed a button on her backpack, causing an hologram to swarm over her, giving her the appearance of a human. "So with this disguise I was hoping to go with the old disguise I wore, except aged a little to college human standards."
Dib looked the disguise over and gave a thumbs up.
"Awesome. Whats the other one?"
"THIS!" Tak pressed another button on her backpack revealing another disguise.
"You....look.....AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Dib burst out laughing looking at Tak, who had a disguise identical to Zim's with human eye contacts and long black hair.
"AHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" The two laughed for a solid five minutes before stopping, Zim still flailing in the background.
"CAN'T...BREATH!!!" Zim kept slamming into walls frantically until finally the contact became dislodged and slid down his throat.
"Got that problem done Zim?" Dib asked, standing next to Tak.
"No thanks to....Where did Tak go?" Zim asked, looking right at the poorly disguised Tak.
"....You're an idiot Zim." Tak said, turning off the disguise and slapping him over the head.
"YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH SOON TAK! SO ZIM SWEARS! I WILL....Ooo guests." Zim said as a number of 'Phat Daddy Zim' groupies walked through the door.
"YO PHAT DADDY!" One of the rambunxious teens yelled out, standing along with a group of other college kids. "Check out dis noise!"
The college kid slammed a flyer on the desk nearest to Zim. Zim leaned over to the flyer and examined it.
"Nice contact by the way phat daddy. Killer." The college kid, pointing at Zim's human disguise less eye.
"Yes, I like cheese as well." Zim replied, having no idea what a contact was called. Zim studied the flyer more closely. "What is a free style contest?"
"AHAHAHAHAH Funny one Phat Daddy. We know how big of a free styler you must be, probably puts Eminem to shame with your ice cold rhymes. For real G."
"I know not of what you....HEY!" Zim cried out as the crowd of kids lifted Zim up. "DON'T TOUCH MY SSSKKKIINNNN!"
"We gotta get ready for this jizung P.H.Z. Come on, to the DANKTUARY!" The college kids hooted and hollared as they dragged Zim out of the room, Dib and Tak watching curiously as they left.
"Well that was strange." Dib said, walking over to the desk and picking up the flyer.
"What is this freestyle competition?" Tak asked curiously. "Is it a deathmatch between your people."
"No its sort of like....well its rhyming words really fast and making a song type thing out of it."
"That sounds....annoying."
"....You're learning this earth stuff fast aren't you?" Dib said smiling, looking at the flyer more. "Now lets see.....HOLY JEEZ!"
"What?"
"1000 DOLLARS FOR THE WINNER! THATS A SPICEY MEATBALL!" Dib yelled out.
"You have need of the thousand green pieces of paper?" Tak asked.
"It would be nice, I mean I have been eating out of the garbage can downstairs for lack of cash." Dib cringed.
"Very well, leave the room for an hour. When you return, together we will win this competition."
"Huh? Really?" Dib asked.
"Consider it done. Now leave." Tak said, pointing at the door. Dib walked out smiling.
Meanwhile...on the other side of campus....
"YOUR PHAT DADDY DEMANDS YOU TO TELL HIM WHY YOU HAVE BROUGHT HIM HERE!" Zim yelled out in the third person, watching as the college kids worked on something in the background.
"Dude check it." One of Zim's follower said as he slammed a pipe against the table in front of the 'phat daddy'.
"And this would be....?"
"MARY JANE!" The kid yelled out, pointing at the pipe.
"I see no girl here."
"Dude, its reefa."
"......?"
"HAHAHAHA!" The kid laughed, Zim having no idea what was going on. "Your a funny one Zim, just breath in yo."
Zim did as the kid said, breathing in as the pipe was shoved into his mouth and lit. Smoke flowed into Zim's lungs as he coughed and hacked.
"WHAT IS.....?"
"This is some good stuff yo? You already feelin it?" The kid asked.
"I'm....I'm....ZIM SMASH!"
"HOLY CRAP!" The kid yelled out as Zim began to grow in size.
Meanwhile, back outside Dib's room.....
"This is taking longer than an hour." Dib said, bored out of his mind. Just as he was about to fall asleep from boredom, the door swung open and there stood Tak. She was covered from head to toe in 'gangsta' clothes, hip hugging jeans, a bandanna, and gold rings on her fingers. Dark shades covered her eyes as numerous gold teeth filled her mouth.
"Lets do dis." Tak said, walking past Dib, adjusting her rings.
"Wow. What'd you do for the hour I was gone? Get a lobotomy?" Dib asked as the two walked out of the dorm.
"I'll drop some knowledge on your punk ass lataz. For now, lets get our booties over to da...." Tak's jaw fell to the ground as she stopped in mid stride.
"Uhhhh Tak?" Dib asked as Tak simply pointed forward. Before Dib could look, a shadow cast over him.
"Strange." Dib thought before looking up. "Its not night....time...."
"THE HIGHER ZIM GETS!" A 40 story Zim yelled, punching buildings as he yelled. "THE STRONGER ZIM GETS! RAAAAAAAA!"
"HOLY CRAP!" Dib yelled out as Tak shoved him out of the way of Zim's large foot. "THAT'S....THAT'S ZIM! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?"
"Let me analyze his ass on dis piece yo." Tak said, an instrument popping out of her backpack. The device scanned Zim with a red light, a picture of him appearing on its screen. Tak looked over the data appearing on the screen and quickly turned it off.
"So? What the hell happened to make him that big?"
"*Ahem*" Tak cleared her throat. "IRKEN ROCKING THE GHANJ!"
"ENGLISH TAK! IN ENGLISH!"
"Zim smoked some kind of wacky tobacky on your messed up planet G. Apparently that shizzle causes Irken biologies to go karazee up in here, causing a short period of da stupidness wit growth capabilities."
"So basically, what your saying..." Dib said. "Zim's high and that caused him to grow big?"
"What it is!" Tak nodded.
"Wonderful." Dib said, shaking his head. "Anyway what do we do to get him back to normal?"
"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA! ZIM HATES BANNER!"
"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?" Dib yelled out to Zim, having interrupted him. "The verdict Tak?"
"Give it an hour G." Tak said shrugging.
"NUTS TO THAT! Got any tranquilizers in that backpack of yours?" Dib asked. Tak nodded as two syringes popped out of the metallic backpack, she then handed them to Dib. "I'm goin in."
"Its yo funeral homeslice." Tak responded, as Dib jumped onto Zim's rampaging leg.
"PUNY DIB NO HURT ZIM! ZIM SMASH!" Zim's gigantic hand flung itself at Dib. Luckily, Dib saw the hand in time to fling himself to the other side of Zim's leg. Using all his strength, Dib slammed the two tranquilizers into Zim's leg and pushed them in.
"There, that should...OOF!" Dib didn't see Zim's huge hand fly at him as it knocked him off the monstrous Irken's leg.
"ZIM DESTROOOOOYYooooooyyyyyyyy....." As the large invader yelled this, he began to shrink at a rapid rate. "NOOOO ZIM CRUSH! ZIM SMASH! ZIM...zzzzzzzzzz"
"Finally!" Dib cried out, standing next to a sleeping normal sized Zim. "Hey, why did his clothes grow too?"
Just as Dib said this, Zim's clothes exploded for no reason, propelling Dib back and flinging him into a wall.
"Ouch.....forget I asked."
"Harlem World."
That night......
"One hand slapping against another makes a very nice noise for our first competetor's of the freestyling competition...." The announcer yelled out on top of a lighted stage, thousands of screaming kids watching. "TAK AND HER MAN SERVANT DIBBO!"
"Jesus." Dib shook his head, now strewn in gansta attire. "Did we really have to go by that name?"
"Roll with it homie." Tak said, jumping onto the stage with Dib behind her. "HOWS IT FLOWING TONIGHT G'S?"
The crowd went nuts.
"CHECK IT! People always asking me and my male man servant why they can't be as talented as us AND THATS THE COSMIC SHAAAMMME! BOOONOOOO GOO GIRL! YOU GOTS TA F-ING GOOOO GIIIIRRRRLLLLL! SOME PEOPLE LEARN IT IN THE STREETS OTHERS IN THE SCHOOLS! ME AND MY MAN SERVANT, WE LEARNED DIS PIECE FROM THE WOMB YO! CHECKITCHECKITCHECKIT OUT! RIGGORIGGAGAGA! RIGGOGOGOGOGOGA! DOODODODODODODO! THAT CRAP CAME OFF MY HEAD YALL!"
"OFF THE TOP OF TAK'S HEAD YALL!" Dib chimed in, working a mean dj machine that appeared in front of him.
"THATS DA COSMIC SHAME!" The two yelled out, a huge uproar of applause followed. Both Tak and Dib walked off the stage.
"I'm such a tool." Dib said to himself, shaking his head.
"Fo sheez."
"Ok that was Tak and her Man Servant. Put your hands together for our next competitors, PHAT DADDY ZIM AND HIS CREW!"
"Wait what?" Dib yelled out, watching a very strange looking Zim stumble on with a band behind him.
"And A one...And a Two..." Zim said, stoned out of his mind.
"He's still high? I thought it would wear off."
"Apparently not yo, just the growing G." Tak replied.
"I was gonna conquer your world, but then I got high!" Zim sang out, the band accompanying him. "Was gonna let Gir out of the closet, but then I got High! WHOOOAAAA! Was gonna kick Dib in the crotch, but then I got high! Forgot to report to the tallest and I know why..!"
"WHY MAN?" Zim's band sang out.
"Cause I got High, Cause I got High, Cause I got hIIIiiigggghhhHHH!" Zim, immediately after finishing his 'original' song, fell to the ground unconcious.
"PHAT DADDY AND HIS POSSE EVERYONE!" The announcer yelled out. "With that, we will announce our winner. And that isssss........"
"COME ON COME ON!" Dib yelled out.
"MR ED AND THE CRAZIES!" The announcer yelled out, pointing to Gir, Mr. Ed and Gaz standing in the corner.
"WE GOT MONEYS!" They all yelled at once, dancing around.
"WHAT? BUT THEY DIDN'T EVEN PERFORM!!!" Dib yelled out, the three crazies rolling around in the thousand dollar prize money.
"Its all about looks in this biz baby, and these three have IT!" The announcer said, pointing at the three.
"No justice I swear." Dib said walking away with Tak.
"Word." Tak replied putting her arm around Dib's shoulder.
End Chapter 9......
OR I WILL SAY STOP! AND I SWEAR I DON'T CARE WHAT I SAID BEFORE, WHEN I SAY STOP: STOP or else penalties will be thought up.
Ok that was silly. Much obliged to Tenacious D *The greatest band in the world* for that intro and Tak's rhyming skills. What do I mean by Tak's rhyming skills one may ask? Stick around and find out.
Invader Zim: The College Years
Chapter 9: Bust A Rhyme!
"You ever look up at the stars and wonder what mysteries they have within them? The numerous civilizations they've shined over in their million years of existence? The infinite possibilities can boggle the mind!" Dib yelled out, lying next to Tak on top of the roof of the dorm building. "Ever wonder Tak?"
"Well..." Tak said, looking up at the stars as Dib was next to her. "No."
"Oh yeah." Dib looked over at the smiling Tak, shaking his head. "I forgot you're an invader of the GREAT IRKEN ELITE!"
"Stop it silly." Tak smiled.
"SEEING THE UNIVERSE! BLASTING ACROSS THE UNIVERSE IN YOUR SPACESHIP! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO!"
"HAHAHAHA! STOP IT YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME THROW UP! HAHAHAHA!" Tak laughed hysterically as Dib got up and started mimicing a spaceshi[ rocketing through the universe.
"I MUST INVADE! INVADE THE UNIVERSE IN MY GO POD!" Dib crouched in a ball and started rolling around the roof, Tak still laughing hysterically.
"HAHAHAHHAHA...I..HAHAHAH...CAN'T....HAHAHAHAHA....STOP!" Tears swelled up in the female Irken's eyes as she laughed uncontrollably at Dib's impression. Her arms flailed about wildly, unknowingly to Dib.
"I'M THE TALLEST! I COMMAND AN EMPIRE BASED ON MY HEIGHT!" Tak burst out laughing even harder, arms flailing even more. Unfortunately for Dib, he did not notice Tak's flailing arms. As he got close to Tak, her right arm slapped against Dib's legs, causing him to trip up and head toward the edge of the roof.
"I...Dib?" Tak looked over to see no Dib in sight, only to hear out a high pitched scream.
"OOOHHHHHH CRRRAAAAAA...." Dib couldn't get the curse all the way out as he spiralled toward the ground below and slammed into it at full force.
The next day.....
"I said I was sorry." Tak said, sitting on the floor of the dorm room, right next to Dib's bed. Dib laid there, staring at the ceiling above him, shaking his head, scratching at the cast on his arm.
"Yeah I know. Wasn't your fault. But still I would've liked it better had my arm not been fractured in three different spots!"
"Want me to make it up to you by using my image inducer to make me look like a naked Anna Kornakova?"
"I....Yeah?" Dib said smirking, just as Zim burst through the door.
"Oh great!" Zim said sarcastically. "She's still here!"
"Yeah Zim, had you not noticed, Tak and I are dating."
"....That's wrong on so many levels." Zim said shaking his head. "How will you even cake?"
"You mean you really do think....?" Tak questioned, giving Zim the strangest look ever. "Ewwww."
"The tallest told me all about the cakes and the bees when I was a young invader. Although they seemed to be giggling throughout the whole explanation, maybe because they were so happy of my understanding of the ritual at such a young age!"
"......." Dib and Tak looked at each other silently, freaked out of their minds.
"WHAT? WHAT?" Zim cried out, waving his arms up and down.
"NOTHING!" Both Dib and Tak yelled out at the same time. Zim shook his head and a slumped onto his bed.
"So anyway, I was thinking of trying out a new human form. I have it narrowed down to two images." Tak explained to Dib.
"Oh yeah? Thats cool. Obviously they'll no doubt be better than Zim's disguises." Dib said pointing over to the poorly disguised Zim.
"I'll have you know that my disguise is flawless to your human species." Zim proclaimed proudly.
"Your eyes falling out." Tak said, pointing at the dangling human eye contact on Zim's eye lid.
"Easily rectified, I just need to..." As Zim said this, he breathed in a little too deeply, causing the contact to fly into his mouth. Shocked by the occurence, Zim swallowed the eye causing it to lodge in his throat. "AAAAAKKKKK!"
"Hehe, I don't even have to try to get revenge on Zim. His life's bad enough." Tak said, snickering at Zim's predicament.
"Think we should help him?" Dib asked.
"Give it twenty minutes." Tak said, Zim slamming his throat into the wall in a futile attempt to dislodge the eye.
"So anyway, lets see those disguises."
"Right." Tak pressed a button on her backpack, causing an hologram to swarm over her, giving her the appearance of a human. "So with this disguise I was hoping to go with the old disguise I wore, except aged a little to college human standards."
Dib looked the disguise over and gave a thumbs up.
"Awesome. Whats the other one?"
"THIS!" Tak pressed another button on her backpack revealing another disguise.
"You....look.....AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Dib burst out laughing looking at Tak, who had a disguise identical to Zim's with human eye contacts and long black hair.
"AHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" The two laughed for a solid five minutes before stopping, Zim still flailing in the background.
"CAN'T...BREATH!!!" Zim kept slamming into walls frantically until finally the contact became dislodged and slid down his throat.
"Got that problem done Zim?" Dib asked, standing next to Tak.
"No thanks to....Where did Tak go?" Zim asked, looking right at the poorly disguised Tak.
"....You're an idiot Zim." Tak said, turning off the disguise and slapping him over the head.
"YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH SOON TAK! SO ZIM SWEARS! I WILL....Ooo guests." Zim said as a number of 'Phat Daddy Zim' groupies walked through the door.
"YO PHAT DADDY!" One of the rambunxious teens yelled out, standing along with a group of other college kids. "Check out dis noise!"
The college kid slammed a flyer on the desk nearest to Zim. Zim leaned over to the flyer and examined it.
"Nice contact by the way phat daddy. Killer." The college kid, pointing at Zim's human disguise less eye.
"Yes, I like cheese as well." Zim replied, having no idea what a contact was called. Zim studied the flyer more closely. "What is a free style contest?"
"AHAHAHAHAH Funny one Phat Daddy. We know how big of a free styler you must be, probably puts Eminem to shame with your ice cold rhymes. For real G."
"I know not of what you....HEY!" Zim cried out as the crowd of kids lifted Zim up. "DON'T TOUCH MY SSSKKKIINNNN!"
"We gotta get ready for this jizung P.H.Z. Come on, to the DANKTUARY!" The college kids hooted and hollared as they dragged Zim out of the room, Dib and Tak watching curiously as they left.
"Well that was strange." Dib said, walking over to the desk and picking up the flyer.
"What is this freestyle competition?" Tak asked curiously. "Is it a deathmatch between your people."
"No its sort of like....well its rhyming words really fast and making a song type thing out of it."
"That sounds....annoying."
"....You're learning this earth stuff fast aren't you?" Dib said smiling, looking at the flyer more. "Now lets see.....HOLY JEEZ!"
"What?"
"1000 DOLLARS FOR THE WINNER! THATS A SPICEY MEATBALL!" Dib yelled out.
"You have need of the thousand green pieces of paper?" Tak asked.
"It would be nice, I mean I have been eating out of the garbage can downstairs for lack of cash." Dib cringed.
"Very well, leave the room for an hour. When you return, together we will win this competition."
"Huh? Really?" Dib asked.
"Consider it done. Now leave." Tak said, pointing at the door. Dib walked out smiling.
Meanwhile...on the other side of campus....
"YOUR PHAT DADDY DEMANDS YOU TO TELL HIM WHY YOU HAVE BROUGHT HIM HERE!" Zim yelled out in the third person, watching as the college kids worked on something in the background.
"Dude check it." One of Zim's follower said as he slammed a pipe against the table in front of the 'phat daddy'.
"And this would be....?"
"MARY JANE!" The kid yelled out, pointing at the pipe.
"I see no girl here."
"Dude, its reefa."
"......?"
"HAHAHAHA!" The kid laughed, Zim having no idea what was going on. "Your a funny one Zim, just breath in yo."
Zim did as the kid said, breathing in as the pipe was shoved into his mouth and lit. Smoke flowed into Zim's lungs as he coughed and hacked.
"WHAT IS.....?"
"This is some good stuff yo? You already feelin it?" The kid asked.
"I'm....I'm....ZIM SMASH!"
"HOLY CRAP!" The kid yelled out as Zim began to grow in size.
Meanwhile, back outside Dib's room.....
"This is taking longer than an hour." Dib said, bored out of his mind. Just as he was about to fall asleep from boredom, the door swung open and there stood Tak. She was covered from head to toe in 'gangsta' clothes, hip hugging jeans, a bandanna, and gold rings on her fingers. Dark shades covered her eyes as numerous gold teeth filled her mouth.
"Lets do dis." Tak said, walking past Dib, adjusting her rings.
"Wow. What'd you do for the hour I was gone? Get a lobotomy?" Dib asked as the two walked out of the dorm.
"I'll drop some knowledge on your punk ass lataz. For now, lets get our booties over to da...." Tak's jaw fell to the ground as she stopped in mid stride.
"Uhhhh Tak?" Dib asked as Tak simply pointed forward. Before Dib could look, a shadow cast over him.
"Strange." Dib thought before looking up. "Its not night....time...."
"THE HIGHER ZIM GETS!" A 40 story Zim yelled, punching buildings as he yelled. "THE STRONGER ZIM GETS! RAAAAAAAA!"
"HOLY CRAP!" Dib yelled out as Tak shoved him out of the way of Zim's large foot. "THAT'S....THAT'S ZIM! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?"
"Let me analyze his ass on dis piece yo." Tak said, an instrument popping out of her backpack. The device scanned Zim with a red light, a picture of him appearing on its screen. Tak looked over the data appearing on the screen and quickly turned it off.
"So? What the hell happened to make him that big?"
"*Ahem*" Tak cleared her throat. "IRKEN ROCKING THE GHANJ!"
"ENGLISH TAK! IN ENGLISH!"
"Zim smoked some kind of wacky tobacky on your messed up planet G. Apparently that shizzle causes Irken biologies to go karazee up in here, causing a short period of da stupidness wit growth capabilities."
"So basically, what your saying..." Dib said. "Zim's high and that caused him to grow big?"
"What it is!" Tak nodded.
"Wonderful." Dib said, shaking his head. "Anyway what do we do to get him back to normal?"
"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA! ZIM HATES BANNER!"
"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?" Dib yelled out to Zim, having interrupted him. "The verdict Tak?"
"Give it an hour G." Tak said shrugging.
"NUTS TO THAT! Got any tranquilizers in that backpack of yours?" Dib asked. Tak nodded as two syringes popped out of the metallic backpack, she then handed them to Dib. "I'm goin in."
"Its yo funeral homeslice." Tak responded, as Dib jumped onto Zim's rampaging leg.
"PUNY DIB NO HURT ZIM! ZIM SMASH!" Zim's gigantic hand flung itself at Dib. Luckily, Dib saw the hand in time to fling himself to the other side of Zim's leg. Using all his strength, Dib slammed the two tranquilizers into Zim's leg and pushed them in.
"There, that should...OOF!" Dib didn't see Zim's huge hand fly at him as it knocked him off the monstrous Irken's leg.
"ZIM DESTROOOOOYYooooooyyyyyyyy....." As the large invader yelled this, he began to shrink at a rapid rate. "NOOOO ZIM CRUSH! ZIM SMASH! ZIM...zzzzzzzzzz"
"Finally!" Dib cried out, standing next to a sleeping normal sized Zim. "Hey, why did his clothes grow too?"
Just as Dib said this, Zim's clothes exploded for no reason, propelling Dib back and flinging him into a wall.
"Ouch.....forget I asked."
"Harlem World."
That night......
"One hand slapping against another makes a very nice noise for our first competetor's of the freestyling competition...." The announcer yelled out on top of a lighted stage, thousands of screaming kids watching. "TAK AND HER MAN SERVANT DIBBO!"
"Jesus." Dib shook his head, now strewn in gansta attire. "Did we really have to go by that name?"
"Roll with it homie." Tak said, jumping onto the stage with Dib behind her. "HOWS IT FLOWING TONIGHT G'S?"
The crowd went nuts.
"CHECK IT! People always asking me and my male man servant why they can't be as talented as us AND THATS THE COSMIC SHAAAMMME! BOOONOOOO GOO GIRL! YOU GOTS TA F-ING GOOOO GIIIIRRRRLLLLL! SOME PEOPLE LEARN IT IN THE STREETS OTHERS IN THE SCHOOLS! ME AND MY MAN SERVANT, WE LEARNED DIS PIECE FROM THE WOMB YO! CHECKITCHECKITCHECKIT OUT! RIGGORIGGAGAGA! RIGGOGOGOGOGOGA! DOODODODODODODO! THAT CRAP CAME OFF MY HEAD YALL!"
"OFF THE TOP OF TAK'S HEAD YALL!" Dib chimed in, working a mean dj machine that appeared in front of him.
"THATS DA COSMIC SHAME!" The two yelled out, a huge uproar of applause followed. Both Tak and Dib walked off the stage.
"I'm such a tool." Dib said to himself, shaking his head.
"Fo sheez."
"Ok that was Tak and her Man Servant. Put your hands together for our next competitors, PHAT DADDY ZIM AND HIS CREW!"
"Wait what?" Dib yelled out, watching a very strange looking Zim stumble on with a band behind him.
"And A one...And a Two..." Zim said, stoned out of his mind.
"He's still high? I thought it would wear off."
"Apparently not yo, just the growing G." Tak replied.
"I was gonna conquer your world, but then I got high!" Zim sang out, the band accompanying him. "Was gonna let Gir out of the closet, but then I got High! WHOOOAAAA! Was gonna kick Dib in the crotch, but then I got high! Forgot to report to the tallest and I know why..!"
"WHY MAN?" Zim's band sang out.
"Cause I got High, Cause I got High, Cause I got hIIIiiigggghhhHHH!" Zim, immediately after finishing his 'original' song, fell to the ground unconcious.
"PHAT DADDY AND HIS POSSE EVERYONE!" The announcer yelled out. "With that, we will announce our winner. And that isssss........"
"COME ON COME ON!" Dib yelled out.
"MR ED AND THE CRAZIES!" The announcer yelled out, pointing to Gir, Mr. Ed and Gaz standing in the corner.
"WE GOT MONEYS!" They all yelled at once, dancing around.
"WHAT? BUT THEY DIDN'T EVEN PERFORM!!!" Dib yelled out, the three crazies rolling around in the thousand dollar prize money.
"Its all about looks in this biz baby, and these three have IT!" The announcer said, pointing at the three.
"No justice I swear." Dib said walking away with Tak.
"Word." Tak replied putting her arm around Dib's shoulder.
End Chapter 9......