So where have I been you may ask? Well I've been in lazy town. Population Me. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Just read the thing FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Chapter 10: Ching Ching MONEY!
"Food Account: 0 Dollars." Dib said, looking at the computer screen with his personal information on it. "Travel Account: 0 Dollars. Personal Account: 30 cents."
"I love you Sam." Zim mumbled in his sleep as he began relieving himself under the sheets.
"Watching Zim mutter homosexual tendencies in his sleep as he wets himself: Priceless." Dib laughed and got up from his seat. "Zim! Zim WAKE UP! You're wetting your bed."
"Huh? Wha? Flap jacks?" Zim's eyes opened as he jumped out of bed in horror. "Why is my bed wet?"
"Obviously you have a disorder which is prevalant amongst children and you're experiencing its after affects."
"Maybe or MAYBE NOT!" Zim whipped off the sheets of his bed to reveal a sleeping Gir, mountain dew pouring out of his exhaust pipe.
"Ewww Mountain dew, thats worse than urine."
"Correct Dib, although your Simpsons reference is bad in itself." Zim grabbed the unconcious Gir and threw him in his closet prison.
"I'll Simpsons Reference you." Dib said, pouting.
"Of course." Zim rolled his eyes.
"Listen Zim, I'm completely out of money and you're going to have to help me raise up my funds."
"Me help you? Laughable. Why would I, Zim the Great, Zim the wise, ZIM THE MOIST! help you."
"Well." Dib replied. "No money from me, means no money for you. No money means no food. You dig?"
"I can live off what I find." Zim looked around the room, picked up some spare change off the ground and swallowed it down, tears rolling down his eyes. "See...urk...Irk...Akk...Wins again!"
"Sure." Dib said rolling his eyes. "I'll just have to go the more persuasive route."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean..." Dib reached into his pocket and pulled out a tape recorder. "THIS!"
Dib pressed the play button on the recorder, a conversation between the two roommates blaring out of it.
"So Zim, you're an alien right?" The recorded voice of Dib blared out.
"Yesshh." The obviously piss drunk recorded voice of Zim replied.
"And you like watching midgets doing dirty things don't you?"
"Midgets RULE!"
"Indeed. And would you tell the recorder exactly how you tried to take over the world using men's room toilets?"
"I woulds slosh arounds in the toilets and use theys filty filth to hurts the noses of the populace."
Dib turned off the recorder, Zim's mouth agap.
"Go ahead and let the humans listen to it, they won't care anyway."
"Oh, I will but only after Tak transfers it to the allmighty Tallest. I'm sure they'll like to hear your urine covered accounts."
".......I hate you." Zim said, gritting his teeth.
"Loves and kisses, now go get a job or something."
Story #1: Dib's Day
"Ok, job job job job jobby jobbidy job." Dib muttered to himself as he walked down the street past his college, looking for "Help Wanted" wherever he could. Dib went into a number of franchise coffee stores and hip with-it book stores, only to find each position filled with a college student such as himself. After about an hour of trying desperately, Dib was about ready to give up, until....
"SCREW YOU MAN! YOU CAN TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT!" A disgruntled teenager with a goatee and dreds running out with his middle finger in the air. "See how well your store does WITHOUT MY EXPERTISE! I'M OUTTIE FO SHEEZE!"
"FINE!" Yelled out the fat manager of the video store from where the teen had run out from, yelling in a thick Ukranian accent. "You no get discount on videos now then!"
"Problems?" Dib asked, looking at the fat sweaty man.
"You. You want good job yes?"
"Uhhhh yeah, I guess. I don't have to take off my pants or anything do I?"
"No, you work counter, make much money. Much. Get discounts free ya?"
"Riiiigggghhhhhtttt. Was that english?" Dib asked as the Ukranian manager led him into the store.
"You meet other workers. You work well, no problem. You make mistake, I pounce on you like gopher, yes?"
"......Fair enough." Dib said, putting on a store t-shirt as the manager walked away and another employee walked up to him.
"Hey man, what's up." The lanky long haired employee asked slapping his hand against Dib's. The employee tried to do an intricate 'ghetto' style handshake with Dib, but seeing as how the enemy of Irk had no idea what he was doing, he managed to break two fingers on his right hand.
"AAAAAAAA! MY FINGERS!" Dib cried out holding his hand.
"Wait dude let me fix it." The employee said taking out a big hammer.
"NO! NO! I'm FINE SEE? AAAAAAAA!" Dib yelled out as he cracked his fingers back into position. "So...what's your name?"
"My dawgs call me Sizz. Whattup?"
"Not much. So anything I need to know about this job?"
"Yeah, let me get the necessary things." Sizz pulled out a hacksaw, a keg of whiskey, and a .48 caliber handgun.
"WHAT THE HELL?"
"Yeah I know, we lost the shotgun when the boss said it wasn't necessary."
"Why do we need this stuff anyway?"
"For the job duh. Never worked at a video store huh?"
"Not really."
"Well basically the hacksaw is to scare away customers and the keg is to boost employee morale."
"What's the gun for?"
"Oh you'll know when the time comes." Sizz smiled and watched as a small child came in. "Here's a customer, you take care of him."
"But I don't even know how to work the register yet!"
"What's a register?" Sizz asked, sitting down in his chair and opening up a Playboy magazine.
"Hi. My mommy gave me the member card and said I could rent a movie. Can I?"
"Yeah sure I guess." Dib said smiling at the little kid. The twinkle in his eyes lit up as he ran to the kids section.
"Work is going yes? WHAT THIS IS?" The manager cried out walking up to the small child and picking him up by the collar. "YOU LEAVE STORE NOW JUNKIE!"
"HELP MOOOOMMMMYYYY!" The small child yelled as the fat manager threw him out of the store.
"What the hell?" Dib cried out.
"YOU LET THAT BOY IN STORE! HE HAVE DRUG EYES! HE CRACK BABY!"
"But he's just a kid. I mean he couldn't be more than six years old." Dib said as the fat manager came up right to his face.
"ONE MORE MISTAKE AND YOU FIRED!" The manager yelled, soon walking away.
"Could I see that gun now?"
"Told you you'd understand, dude." Sizz said, reading more into his skin magazine.
Story #2: Zim's Day
Zim walked out the door of his building and made his way to a street about a mile away. Carrying a backpack strapped to him, Zim looked for the appropriate place to start. He found a nearby corner right in front of a heavily populated area. Looking around, he noticed a lot of cars in front of him on the street and how each of them stopped at the lights next to him, allowing for more potential business. Zim then put his finger in his mouth, stuck it in the air and calculated the wind speed velocity of his position. After making a number of well thought out calculations and well placed schemes, Zim took out what was in his bag and set it up in front of him.
"HANDJOBS! 20 DOLLARS!" Zim yelled out to the shock of the people around him. After a number of vacant stares and evil eyes, one dirty old man walked up to Zim.
"I'll take one....please." The old man gurgled.
"Very well human sir. Sit down please." Zim said pointing at the chair next to him.
"We gonna do it here?"
"OF course stinkbag, where else?" Zim said reaching into his bag.
"Ok, let me get ready." The old man's hands began crawling towards his pants but before he could even reach his belt buckle, Zim grabbed his hand and chopped it off at the wrist. "AAAAAAAAA!"
"Quiet, this'll only take a second." Zim threw away the hand into the sewer and grabbed a device from his backpack and jammed it into the screaming man's bloody stump. The device then wrapped around his wrist and created a large synthetic hand which began to strangle the disgusting old man.
"HHAAAALLLPPPP!" He cried out, Zim watching happily.
"Will that be cash or charge?"
Story #3: Tak's Story.
"HEY YOU!" Tak yelled out, hiding behind her well made holographic disguise. "MY BOYFRIEND NEEDS MONEY!"
"So?" The disgruntled teenager replied.
"So gimme a thousand dollars!" Tak cried out.
"What? NO!" Tak replied to this answer with a brick to the student's head. "OW! WHAT THE HELL?"
"I have a lot more bricks and from what I can see, you only have one head. PAY UP!
Story #4: Gir's story
We find Gir sitting in the closet, doing nothing except sleeping as mountain dew continued to flow out of his exhaust pipe. Mr Ed was in the corner of the closet, wearing Gir's dog costume stretched to the limit.
"NNNEEEEEEE!" The horse cried out slamming against the walls.
"Ssssshhhhhhh.' Gaz said painting her toenails and fingernails with peanut butter. "I'm becoming beutifal."
Story #5: Dib's Story Part 2
"YOU CAN TAKE YOUR MEMBERSHIP AND SHOVE IT! I AIN'T GONNA PAY NO FINE! I NEVER DONE RENTED NO MOVIE! YOU TRY AND PROVE IT PIGS!" A drunk disorderly man yelled as he breathed whiskey smelling air into Dib's face.
"It's a two dollar fine sir, for a movie that you rented. WE HAVE YOU ON TAPE FOR GOD'S SAKE!"
"That ain't me! THAT AIN'T ME! That's my cousin......Lerlene! She likes to dress up as me and rents movies under my name! I done told her to stop doing such things when she done had my baby!"
"*Sigh* How many shots of whiskey have you had today?" Dib asked, tapping his finger on the trapdoor button underneath the desk.
"HOW DARE YOU GOOD SIR? I AM OUTRAGED!"
"You just messed yourself sir." Dib pointed at the drunken man's pants, now soiled.
"LERLENE!" The man cried out the door as he ran out. "START THE CAR! THE JIGG'S UP!"
"That's it. No amount of money is worth this." Dib took off the shirt and threw it on the ground.
"Dude! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE!" Sizz yelled out.
"Come with me! THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE BEYOND THIS STORE AND THE MANAGER WHO SMELLS LIKE PEE!"
"But I need the money dude."
"I think you could make more money being a circus chimp begging peanuts then here." Dib replied.
"Point taken. FREEDOM!" Sizz yelled throwing his shirt on the ground as well.
"WHAT IS THIS GOING?" The fat manager yelled running up to the two employees.
"Wait, I'm sure we can discuss this rationally and come to beneficial terms for both parties and KIYYYAAAAA!" Dib then proceeded to kick the manager in the family jewels and ran out of the store as numerous amount of people began to loot the store in question.
Story #5: End of the Day
"I made 5 dollars from some of the videos I sold from the store." Dib replied sitting in the room next to Zim and Tak. "Zim?"
"I made 410 dollars off 'handjobs'." Zim replied.
"I'm not even gonna ask. Just give me the money."
"I, however, spent it on magic beans which will help me to conquer your planet!" Zim outstretched his hand holding his purchase.
"Those aren't beans Zim, they're laxatives and poorly made ones at that."
"AAAA! THEY'RE ENTERING MY SKIN!" Zim cried out as the laxatives began seeping into his skin.
"I'm done for." Dib sighed, shaking his head.
"Not true, I made ten thousand dollars!" Tak dropped a huge sack of money on the bed.
"HOLY CRAP! How did you even knew I needed money?" Dib asked sorting through the sack.
"I had a hunch when you took me on a date to Chuck E Cheese."
"Hey, don't diss the pizza. At least you got a show when you ate."
"IT BURRRRNNNNSSSS!" Zim cried as he began holding his rear end.
End Chapter 10
I'll try to pound out more chapters to various things before school approaches. Have a fun rest of the summer Gents!.............I don't know where I am right now.
Zim: That's great.
Chapter 10: Ching Ching MONEY!
"Food Account: 0 Dollars." Dib said, looking at the computer screen with his personal information on it. "Travel Account: 0 Dollars. Personal Account: 30 cents."
"I love you Sam." Zim mumbled in his sleep as he began relieving himself under the sheets.
"Watching Zim mutter homosexual tendencies in his sleep as he wets himself: Priceless." Dib laughed and got up from his seat. "Zim! Zim WAKE UP! You're wetting your bed."
"Huh? Wha? Flap jacks?" Zim's eyes opened as he jumped out of bed in horror. "Why is my bed wet?"
"Obviously you have a disorder which is prevalant amongst children and you're experiencing its after affects."
"Maybe or MAYBE NOT!" Zim whipped off the sheets of his bed to reveal a sleeping Gir, mountain dew pouring out of his exhaust pipe.
"Ewww Mountain dew, thats worse than urine."
"Correct Dib, although your Simpsons reference is bad in itself." Zim grabbed the unconcious Gir and threw him in his closet prison.
"I'll Simpsons Reference you." Dib said, pouting.
"Of course." Zim rolled his eyes.
"Listen Zim, I'm completely out of money and you're going to have to help me raise up my funds."
"Me help you? Laughable. Why would I, Zim the Great, Zim the wise, ZIM THE MOIST! help you."
"Well." Dib replied. "No money from me, means no money for you. No money means no food. You dig?"
"I can live off what I find." Zim looked around the room, picked up some spare change off the ground and swallowed it down, tears rolling down his eyes. "See...urk...Irk...Akk...Wins again!"
"Sure." Dib said rolling his eyes. "I'll just have to go the more persuasive route."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean..." Dib reached into his pocket and pulled out a tape recorder. "THIS!"
Dib pressed the play button on the recorder, a conversation between the two roommates blaring out of it.
"So Zim, you're an alien right?" The recorded voice of Dib blared out.
"Yesshh." The obviously piss drunk recorded voice of Zim replied.
"And you like watching midgets doing dirty things don't you?"
"Midgets RULE!"
"Indeed. And would you tell the recorder exactly how you tried to take over the world using men's room toilets?"
"I woulds slosh arounds in the toilets and use theys filty filth to hurts the noses of the populace."
Dib turned off the recorder, Zim's mouth agap.
"Go ahead and let the humans listen to it, they won't care anyway."
"Oh, I will but only after Tak transfers it to the allmighty Tallest. I'm sure they'll like to hear your urine covered accounts."
".......I hate you." Zim said, gritting his teeth.
"Loves and kisses, now go get a job or something."
Story #1: Dib's Day
"Ok, job job job job jobby jobbidy job." Dib muttered to himself as he walked down the street past his college, looking for "Help Wanted" wherever he could. Dib went into a number of franchise coffee stores and hip with-it book stores, only to find each position filled with a college student such as himself. After about an hour of trying desperately, Dib was about ready to give up, until....
"SCREW YOU MAN! YOU CAN TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT!" A disgruntled teenager with a goatee and dreds running out with his middle finger in the air. "See how well your store does WITHOUT MY EXPERTISE! I'M OUTTIE FO SHEEZE!"
"FINE!" Yelled out the fat manager of the video store from where the teen had run out from, yelling in a thick Ukranian accent. "You no get discount on videos now then!"
"Problems?" Dib asked, looking at the fat sweaty man.
"You. You want good job yes?"
"Uhhhh yeah, I guess. I don't have to take off my pants or anything do I?"
"No, you work counter, make much money. Much. Get discounts free ya?"
"Riiiigggghhhhhtttt. Was that english?" Dib asked as the Ukranian manager led him into the store.
"You meet other workers. You work well, no problem. You make mistake, I pounce on you like gopher, yes?"
"......Fair enough." Dib said, putting on a store t-shirt as the manager walked away and another employee walked up to him.
"Hey man, what's up." The lanky long haired employee asked slapping his hand against Dib's. The employee tried to do an intricate 'ghetto' style handshake with Dib, but seeing as how the enemy of Irk had no idea what he was doing, he managed to break two fingers on his right hand.
"AAAAAAAA! MY FINGERS!" Dib cried out holding his hand.
"Wait dude let me fix it." The employee said taking out a big hammer.
"NO! NO! I'm FINE SEE? AAAAAAAA!" Dib yelled out as he cracked his fingers back into position. "So...what's your name?"
"My dawgs call me Sizz. Whattup?"
"Not much. So anything I need to know about this job?"
"Yeah, let me get the necessary things." Sizz pulled out a hacksaw, a keg of whiskey, and a .48 caliber handgun.
"WHAT THE HELL?"
"Yeah I know, we lost the shotgun when the boss said it wasn't necessary."
"Why do we need this stuff anyway?"
"For the job duh. Never worked at a video store huh?"
"Not really."
"Well basically the hacksaw is to scare away customers and the keg is to boost employee morale."
"What's the gun for?"
"Oh you'll know when the time comes." Sizz smiled and watched as a small child came in. "Here's a customer, you take care of him."
"But I don't even know how to work the register yet!"
"What's a register?" Sizz asked, sitting down in his chair and opening up a Playboy magazine.
"Hi. My mommy gave me the member card and said I could rent a movie. Can I?"
"Yeah sure I guess." Dib said smiling at the little kid. The twinkle in his eyes lit up as he ran to the kids section.
"Work is going yes? WHAT THIS IS?" The manager cried out walking up to the small child and picking him up by the collar. "YOU LEAVE STORE NOW JUNKIE!"
"HELP MOOOOMMMMYYYY!" The small child yelled as the fat manager threw him out of the store.
"What the hell?" Dib cried out.
"YOU LET THAT BOY IN STORE! HE HAVE DRUG EYES! HE CRACK BABY!"
"But he's just a kid. I mean he couldn't be more than six years old." Dib said as the fat manager came up right to his face.
"ONE MORE MISTAKE AND YOU FIRED!" The manager yelled, soon walking away.
"Could I see that gun now?"
"Told you you'd understand, dude." Sizz said, reading more into his skin magazine.
Story #2: Zim's Day
Zim walked out the door of his building and made his way to a street about a mile away. Carrying a backpack strapped to him, Zim looked for the appropriate place to start. He found a nearby corner right in front of a heavily populated area. Looking around, he noticed a lot of cars in front of him on the street and how each of them stopped at the lights next to him, allowing for more potential business. Zim then put his finger in his mouth, stuck it in the air and calculated the wind speed velocity of his position. After making a number of well thought out calculations and well placed schemes, Zim took out what was in his bag and set it up in front of him.
"HANDJOBS! 20 DOLLARS!" Zim yelled out to the shock of the people around him. After a number of vacant stares and evil eyes, one dirty old man walked up to Zim.
"I'll take one....please." The old man gurgled.
"Very well human sir. Sit down please." Zim said pointing at the chair next to him.
"We gonna do it here?"
"OF course stinkbag, where else?" Zim said reaching into his bag.
"Ok, let me get ready." The old man's hands began crawling towards his pants but before he could even reach his belt buckle, Zim grabbed his hand and chopped it off at the wrist. "AAAAAAAAA!"
"Quiet, this'll only take a second." Zim threw away the hand into the sewer and grabbed a device from his backpack and jammed it into the screaming man's bloody stump. The device then wrapped around his wrist and created a large synthetic hand which began to strangle the disgusting old man.
"HHAAAALLLPPPP!" He cried out, Zim watching happily.
"Will that be cash or charge?"
Story #3: Tak's Story.
"HEY YOU!" Tak yelled out, hiding behind her well made holographic disguise. "MY BOYFRIEND NEEDS MONEY!"
"So?" The disgruntled teenager replied.
"So gimme a thousand dollars!" Tak cried out.
"What? NO!" Tak replied to this answer with a brick to the student's head. "OW! WHAT THE HELL?"
"I have a lot more bricks and from what I can see, you only have one head. PAY UP!
Story #4: Gir's story
We find Gir sitting in the closet, doing nothing except sleeping as mountain dew continued to flow out of his exhaust pipe. Mr Ed was in the corner of the closet, wearing Gir's dog costume stretched to the limit.
"NNNEEEEEEE!" The horse cried out slamming against the walls.
"Ssssshhhhhhh.' Gaz said painting her toenails and fingernails with peanut butter. "I'm becoming beutifal."
Story #5: Dib's Story Part 2
"YOU CAN TAKE YOUR MEMBERSHIP AND SHOVE IT! I AIN'T GONNA PAY NO FINE! I NEVER DONE RENTED NO MOVIE! YOU TRY AND PROVE IT PIGS!" A drunk disorderly man yelled as he breathed whiskey smelling air into Dib's face.
"It's a two dollar fine sir, for a movie that you rented. WE HAVE YOU ON TAPE FOR GOD'S SAKE!"
"That ain't me! THAT AIN'T ME! That's my cousin......Lerlene! She likes to dress up as me and rents movies under my name! I done told her to stop doing such things when she done had my baby!"
"*Sigh* How many shots of whiskey have you had today?" Dib asked, tapping his finger on the trapdoor button underneath the desk.
"HOW DARE YOU GOOD SIR? I AM OUTRAGED!"
"You just messed yourself sir." Dib pointed at the drunken man's pants, now soiled.
"LERLENE!" The man cried out the door as he ran out. "START THE CAR! THE JIGG'S UP!"
"That's it. No amount of money is worth this." Dib took off the shirt and threw it on the ground.
"Dude! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE!" Sizz yelled out.
"Come with me! THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE BEYOND THIS STORE AND THE MANAGER WHO SMELLS LIKE PEE!"
"But I need the money dude."
"I think you could make more money being a circus chimp begging peanuts then here." Dib replied.
"Point taken. FREEDOM!" Sizz yelled throwing his shirt on the ground as well.
"WHAT IS THIS GOING?" The fat manager yelled running up to the two employees.
"Wait, I'm sure we can discuss this rationally and come to beneficial terms for both parties and KIYYYAAAAA!" Dib then proceeded to kick the manager in the family jewels and ran out of the store as numerous amount of people began to loot the store in question.
Story #5: End of the Day
"I made 5 dollars from some of the videos I sold from the store." Dib replied sitting in the room next to Zim and Tak. "Zim?"
"I made 410 dollars off 'handjobs'." Zim replied.
"I'm not even gonna ask. Just give me the money."
"I, however, spent it on magic beans which will help me to conquer your planet!" Zim outstretched his hand holding his purchase.
"Those aren't beans Zim, they're laxatives and poorly made ones at that."
"AAAA! THEY'RE ENTERING MY SKIN!" Zim cried out as the laxatives began seeping into his skin.
"I'm done for." Dib sighed, shaking his head.
"Not true, I made ten thousand dollars!" Tak dropped a huge sack of money on the bed.
"HOLY CRAP! How did you even knew I needed money?" Dib asked sorting through the sack.
"I had a hunch when you took me on a date to Chuck E Cheese."
"Hey, don't diss the pizza. At least you got a show when you ate."
"IT BURRRRNNNNSSSS!" Zim cried as he began holding his rear end.
End Chapter 10
I'll try to pound out more chapters to various things before school approaches. Have a fun rest of the summer Gents!.............I don't know where I am right now.
Zim: That's great.