Many years have passed and Much has been forgotten. Until now.....
Invader Zim: The College Years
Chapter 11
In the land of uhhhhhh Earth, consoles of power were created to unite the peoples of the land. Three video games consoles were given to the fanboys who were wise in the mastery of all useless information regarding science fiction and children's novels. Eleven were given to the midgets who stayed in their caves, searching for high heeled pumps and stilt shoes. Nine were given to the virgins who above all desired actual girlfriends instead of false ones. All was right in the world.
However, the peoples of the land of ummmmmmm Earth did not see the evils arising in the distant land of Mordor. Here, the lord of Mordor: Bill Gates, created a secret console. "One console to rule them, one to bring them all together, and in the darkness bind them." All seemed lost.....
Until a gathering of virgins and fanboys joined together to challenge Mordor's ranks.
*Large scene of 40 year old men with their stomachs coming out of their shirts in armor walking down the rocky terrain as goblins and such run to them*
The war seemed all but won.......
But Bill Gates had the console!
*Cue Bill Gates slamming thousands of fanboys and virgins around with his large console*
Then when all seemed lost, Gonthor the fanboy, realizing he could no longer stay in his parents' basement apartment, picked up his dead father's sword in anger and cut the console from Gates, winning the war and vanquishing the tyrant.
At that moment, Gonthor had the chance to destroy the one console, but the hearts of fanboys are easily swayed. 5 minutes later, the console abandoned Gonthor but something happened then that the console did not foresee. It fell into the possesion of the most unlikely of creatures.....
"What is this?" Zim cried out as he looked at the dead guy outside his dorm room, various arrows sticking out his back. "Huh, a corpse present apparently."
Zim ripped off the console from the fanboy's back.
"Zim, did you clean the..... OH MY GOD THERE'S A DEAD GUY ON OUR DOORSTEP!" Dib cried as he had just returned from class.
"Its a corpse present obviously, someone has sacrificed themselves to bring me what appears to be a.....brick?" Zim searched the console over with his eyes.
"Its a game console Zim, not a brick." Dib snatched it away from Zim and examined it. "Jeez its got blood all over it."
"Blood makes everything BETTER, LIKE SANDWICHES!" Zim cried out, snatching the console back.
"Whattup dudes?" A tall grey haired man with a grey beard appeared from the room next to Zim and Dib's. He was wearing a long pointy hat and had a large wooden staff in his right hand.
"Oh great. It's Gandalf." Dib sighed rolling his eyes. "What the hell do you want?"
"Nothing, just checkin out your digs. I mean what are neighbors for?" Gandalf began rummaging through Dib and Zim's stuff.
"Hey come on dammit, I have to study." Dib pouted.
"'s Cool man, 's cool. Wizard's gotta eat too right? Awesome bro, awesome." Gandalf, after taking a number of things from the room, walked out and gave the two a peace sign with his fingers.
"Man, he is a weird neighbor. Even weirder than you Zim." Dib awaited the usual comeback line, only to find Zim staring at the console. "Uhhh Zim? What are you..... HEY THAT ASS STOLE MY MONEY!"
"My....precious...." Zim muttered, staring at the console some more. Dib searched through his things a bit more before attending to Zim's weirdness, seeing if the misplaced wizard had stolen anything else of value.
"Well down to studyi....Zim what are you doing with that thing?"
"Huh?" Zim snapped out of his trance and dropped the console to the ground. "NOTHING NOTHING! What is this object anyway? Be it a weapon of destruction?"
"What? No man. It looks like a video game. I should be studying, but what the heck, lets see what this thing does." Dib picked up the console off the ground and plugged it into the television. Zim watched warily as Dib finished plugging it in and turned on the power.
As the television flared on, a large red eye appeared on the screen. Both Zim and Dib jumped back as the eye scared the beejezus out of the both of them.
"HOLY CRAP!" Dib cried as he quickly turned off the machine.
"This is a 'video game'?" Zim questioned.
"Well usually you can play games and they don't scare the hell out of you. But yeah, lots of people play these all the time."
"All the time you say? Yeesssss. Maybe I can use this to my advatage. My.....preccciiiooouuussssss." Zim said, stroking his hands together.
"Hey." Tak said walking into the room with her holo-costume on. "You know that old wizard tried to pinch my butt as I walked in."
"That GANDALF IS SUCH AN ASS!" Dib yelled as Zim took the console, snatched Gir out of the closet and went outside.
"What're we doing outside master?" Gir asked looking around, happy to be out of his closet prison.
"I have need of you in a new plan to overtake this puny stink planet." Zim placed the console on the ground and began pacing around it. "We need to figure out a way to conquer everything using this thing that Dib calls a 'vitchio bame'. Do I have your support on this one Gir?"
Just then three strange figures emerged from the shadows, even though there were no shadows....Wait a minute....
"You have my sword." Said the man-like creature.
"And my bow." Said the elf-like creature.
"And MY AXE!" Said the dwarf-like creature.
"Uhhhhhhh who are you?" Zim asked, scratching his head.
"Just some guys." The three men then disappeared into the shadows as mysteriously and pointlessly as they had before.
"Oooooooooookkkkkkk."
"TODAY IS MY ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVENTETH BIRTHDAY!" Gir cried out, sticking out his tongue right after he finished talking.
"Don't make me lock you back up into the closet. Now, using this console we will overtake the human sewage and make their minds ours!" Zim held the console high over his head and began tinkering away on it.
"WIRES AND SWITCHES AND GAMES OH MY!" Gir sang out, dancing around Zim as he continued his workings.
"One last switch of this button and we should be able to take the minds of everyone on the planet within our thrall! STAND BACK GIR AND WATCH THE MAGIC OF ZIM AND HIS....MAGICAL....FLUTE?" Zim shrugged his shoulders and flipped the switch of the machine. The Irken Invader looked around wondering where all his loyal slaves were. "What? Why didn't anything happen?"
"I blame the economy!" Gir yelled out. Zim held up his hand to smack Gir, only to find that Gir wasn't next to him.
"Gir where are you?"
"Right here duh!" A voice sprang up right from where Gir was standing before, and yet no one was there now.
"What?....Wait a minute? This thing just made you invisible? WHAT A RIP OFF!" Zim threw the console away dissatisfied and walked back to the dorm....Gir on the other hand.
"Doo Doo Doo." Gir looked down to see nothing when usually he would see his tiny metal body, or at best his metal body within its horrible dog costume. "Well off to Mordor then....or the toilet. Heehehehehe!"
Back at the dorm....
"OF ALL THE URG URG URG STINKY THINGS TO MAKE! THAT STUPID CONSOLE!" Zim cried out, kicking the wall with impatience.
"What were you trying to do this time Zim? Make a world conquering sponge monster?" Tak laughed.
"No! I...hmmmm." Zim took out his notebook and wrote down 'Sponge Monster'. "The console I found did nothing except make my dumb robot turn invisible."
"That's fascinating. Now would you mind explaining why my orange juice has been drunken by someone other than me?" Dib asked stubbornly, shaking the empty container.
"Sorry dude." Gandalf said, appearing in the middle of nowhere out of a puff of smoke. "My bad, I had the thirsts. You gotta quench that stuff yo. Anyway, peace."
"Wait a..." Before Dib could finish, the old wizard dissappeared. "THAT ASS! Why does he keep stealing my stuff?"
"Wanna get back at him?" Tak smiled, sitting next to Dib.
"Oh yeah, that old wizard fart has had this coming for a long time." Dib smiled, rubbing his hands together. "You want in on this Zim?"
"Join my forces with one such as you? Never!"
"You know he was the one who blew up your Voot Cruiser that one time when he got drunk at that party."
"THAT WAS HIM?" Dib nodded. "He shall pay."
"Good, now here's my idea, first we get Gandalf plastered. Then we throw in a hobbit or two in his general vacinity and record whatever happens." Dib leaned back in his chair, proud of his plan. Tak and Zim stared blankly at their human roommate.
"Riiiiiggghhhtttt. That or we could just sucker punch him when he falls asleep." Tak replied.
"Whatever." Dib said, shrugging. "Ok, at around one in the morning tonight, we go into his room and beat him with some soaps on ropes. Tubular."
"Tubular?" Tak questioned, one eyebrow raised.
"Ok that was bad." Dib said.
Later that night, around one in the morning.....
"Stealth Suits?" Dib asked.
"Check." Tak replied.
"Infrared goggles?"
"Check."
"Nanotechnology?"
"Check."
"Soaps on ropes?"
"Check." Tak spun the soap on a rope.
"THE CROTCH IS TOO TIGHT! ITS TOO TIGHT!" Zim yelled pulling down the suit.
"Ok let's go!" Dib cried out as they ran into the wizard's room. Stealthily sneaking from wall to wall, the three assailants moved to the nearest bed and brought their ropes above their heads. Just as the figure in the bed began to arouse, the three roommates brought their soaps down on the mattress, hitting the figure over and over. After about five minutes of walloping and screaming, the three figures left the room.
"Woo Hoo! We showed that Gandalf! No more stealing our.....stuff...?" Dib looked down the hall as he saw the old wizard stumbling toward them.
"What a great party. Oh hey jiggas! Whattup?"
"Gandalf? What the hell?"
"You guys shoulda been at the party yo, me and my homeboys stole all their...whats with the get-ups?"
"Uhhhhh nothing!" Tak yelled out.
"Cool, cause my roommate Frodo has this big exam tomorrow and if he gets woken up he'll be pissed off."
The three roommates looked uneasily at one another and ran back into their room.
The next morning......
"So, that was pretty much a bust." Dib got out of bed, putting on his glasses and scratching through his hair.
"I could've spent the night perfecting a new deathray but NOOOOOO! We have to beat the old wizard who ISN'T THE OLD WIZARD! Stupid humans." Zim got out of bed as well and had some of his machines begin putting on his human disguise.
"Moooorrnninnngggg duuuudddeeessss." Gandalf said as he appeared out of the wall, Zim quickly putting on the rest of his disguise before the old wizard could see him.
"What do you want?" Dib asked.
"Well my roomie Frodo went into a coma last night for some reason. Its really weird y'know. Anyway, when I was in the bathroom of the party last night this console appeared out of nowhere and then said TACOS, weird stuff indeed."
"The console! Wow, can't believe you found it!" Dib yelled out reaching for it.
"Wait, let me try something!" Gandalf waved his hands up in the air and a fireplace mystically appeared in front of him. A raging fire blazed within it as he threw the console in.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Dib yelled out watching the console in the fire.
"No wait, watch this, letters will appear and junk." The wizard watched as the console burned and after about 15 minutes of being in the flame, the console crumpled into dust and blew away. "Whoops. That didn't work."
"YOU ASS! YOU JUST DESTROYED IT!"
"Sorry dudes. Don't be a narq about it or nothing. Catch you on the flipside." Gandalf then disappeared once again into smoke.
"That guy is such an ass." Dib said.
"MY PRECIOUS!" Zim cried out shoving his hands into the fire. "AAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Don't see that everyday." Tak said, awoken by the screaming.
Across town........
"Leave me Samwise Girgee." The comatose Frodo yelled out, being pushed into the hospital. "I must go to Mordor alone."
"OookkkKKKKK." Gir then walked away.
"You want the light in your room on or off?" The hospital attendee asked.
"PUT IT OUT YOU FOOLS PUT IT OUT!"
End Chapter 11.
Invader Zim: The College Years
Chapter 11
In the land of uhhhhhh Earth, consoles of power were created to unite the peoples of the land. Three video games consoles were given to the fanboys who were wise in the mastery of all useless information regarding science fiction and children's novels. Eleven were given to the midgets who stayed in their caves, searching for high heeled pumps and stilt shoes. Nine were given to the virgins who above all desired actual girlfriends instead of false ones. All was right in the world.
However, the peoples of the land of ummmmmmm Earth did not see the evils arising in the distant land of Mordor. Here, the lord of Mordor: Bill Gates, created a secret console. "One console to rule them, one to bring them all together, and in the darkness bind them." All seemed lost.....
Until a gathering of virgins and fanboys joined together to challenge Mordor's ranks.
*Large scene of 40 year old men with their stomachs coming out of their shirts in armor walking down the rocky terrain as goblins and such run to them*
The war seemed all but won.......
But Bill Gates had the console!
*Cue Bill Gates slamming thousands of fanboys and virgins around with his large console*
Then when all seemed lost, Gonthor the fanboy, realizing he could no longer stay in his parents' basement apartment, picked up his dead father's sword in anger and cut the console from Gates, winning the war and vanquishing the tyrant.
At that moment, Gonthor had the chance to destroy the one console, but the hearts of fanboys are easily swayed. 5 minutes later, the console abandoned Gonthor but something happened then that the console did not foresee. It fell into the possesion of the most unlikely of creatures.....
"What is this?" Zim cried out as he looked at the dead guy outside his dorm room, various arrows sticking out his back. "Huh, a corpse present apparently."
Zim ripped off the console from the fanboy's back.
"Zim, did you clean the..... OH MY GOD THERE'S A DEAD GUY ON OUR DOORSTEP!" Dib cried as he had just returned from class.
"Its a corpse present obviously, someone has sacrificed themselves to bring me what appears to be a.....brick?" Zim searched the console over with his eyes.
"Its a game console Zim, not a brick." Dib snatched it away from Zim and examined it. "Jeez its got blood all over it."
"Blood makes everything BETTER, LIKE SANDWICHES!" Zim cried out, snatching the console back.
"Whattup dudes?" A tall grey haired man with a grey beard appeared from the room next to Zim and Dib's. He was wearing a long pointy hat and had a large wooden staff in his right hand.
"Oh great. It's Gandalf." Dib sighed rolling his eyes. "What the hell do you want?"
"Nothing, just checkin out your digs. I mean what are neighbors for?" Gandalf began rummaging through Dib and Zim's stuff.
"Hey come on dammit, I have to study." Dib pouted.
"'s Cool man, 's cool. Wizard's gotta eat too right? Awesome bro, awesome." Gandalf, after taking a number of things from the room, walked out and gave the two a peace sign with his fingers.
"Man, he is a weird neighbor. Even weirder than you Zim." Dib awaited the usual comeback line, only to find Zim staring at the console. "Uhhh Zim? What are you..... HEY THAT ASS STOLE MY MONEY!"
"My....precious...." Zim muttered, staring at the console some more. Dib searched through his things a bit more before attending to Zim's weirdness, seeing if the misplaced wizard had stolen anything else of value.
"Well down to studyi....Zim what are you doing with that thing?"
"Huh?" Zim snapped out of his trance and dropped the console to the ground. "NOTHING NOTHING! What is this object anyway? Be it a weapon of destruction?"
"What? No man. It looks like a video game. I should be studying, but what the heck, lets see what this thing does." Dib picked up the console off the ground and plugged it into the television. Zim watched warily as Dib finished plugging it in and turned on the power.
As the television flared on, a large red eye appeared on the screen. Both Zim and Dib jumped back as the eye scared the beejezus out of the both of them.
"HOLY CRAP!" Dib cried as he quickly turned off the machine.
"This is a 'video game'?" Zim questioned.
"Well usually you can play games and they don't scare the hell out of you. But yeah, lots of people play these all the time."
"All the time you say? Yeesssss. Maybe I can use this to my advatage. My.....preccciiiooouuussssss." Zim said, stroking his hands together.
"Hey." Tak said walking into the room with her holo-costume on. "You know that old wizard tried to pinch my butt as I walked in."
"That GANDALF IS SUCH AN ASS!" Dib yelled as Zim took the console, snatched Gir out of the closet and went outside.
"What're we doing outside master?" Gir asked looking around, happy to be out of his closet prison.
"I have need of you in a new plan to overtake this puny stink planet." Zim placed the console on the ground and began pacing around it. "We need to figure out a way to conquer everything using this thing that Dib calls a 'vitchio bame'. Do I have your support on this one Gir?"
Just then three strange figures emerged from the shadows, even though there were no shadows....Wait a minute....
"You have my sword." Said the man-like creature.
"And my bow." Said the elf-like creature.
"And MY AXE!" Said the dwarf-like creature.
"Uhhhhhhh who are you?" Zim asked, scratching his head.
"Just some guys." The three men then disappeared into the shadows as mysteriously and pointlessly as they had before.
"Oooooooooookkkkkkk."
"TODAY IS MY ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVENTETH BIRTHDAY!" Gir cried out, sticking out his tongue right after he finished talking.
"Don't make me lock you back up into the closet. Now, using this console we will overtake the human sewage and make their minds ours!" Zim held the console high over his head and began tinkering away on it.
"WIRES AND SWITCHES AND GAMES OH MY!" Gir sang out, dancing around Zim as he continued his workings.
"One last switch of this button and we should be able to take the minds of everyone on the planet within our thrall! STAND BACK GIR AND WATCH THE MAGIC OF ZIM AND HIS....MAGICAL....FLUTE?" Zim shrugged his shoulders and flipped the switch of the machine. The Irken Invader looked around wondering where all his loyal slaves were. "What? Why didn't anything happen?"
"I blame the economy!" Gir yelled out. Zim held up his hand to smack Gir, only to find that Gir wasn't next to him.
"Gir where are you?"
"Right here duh!" A voice sprang up right from where Gir was standing before, and yet no one was there now.
"What?....Wait a minute? This thing just made you invisible? WHAT A RIP OFF!" Zim threw the console away dissatisfied and walked back to the dorm....Gir on the other hand.
"Doo Doo Doo." Gir looked down to see nothing when usually he would see his tiny metal body, or at best his metal body within its horrible dog costume. "Well off to Mordor then....or the toilet. Heehehehehe!"
Back at the dorm....
"OF ALL THE URG URG URG STINKY THINGS TO MAKE! THAT STUPID CONSOLE!" Zim cried out, kicking the wall with impatience.
"What were you trying to do this time Zim? Make a world conquering sponge monster?" Tak laughed.
"No! I...hmmmm." Zim took out his notebook and wrote down 'Sponge Monster'. "The console I found did nothing except make my dumb robot turn invisible."
"That's fascinating. Now would you mind explaining why my orange juice has been drunken by someone other than me?" Dib asked stubbornly, shaking the empty container.
"Sorry dude." Gandalf said, appearing in the middle of nowhere out of a puff of smoke. "My bad, I had the thirsts. You gotta quench that stuff yo. Anyway, peace."
"Wait a..." Before Dib could finish, the old wizard dissappeared. "THAT ASS! Why does he keep stealing my stuff?"
"Wanna get back at him?" Tak smiled, sitting next to Dib.
"Oh yeah, that old wizard fart has had this coming for a long time." Dib smiled, rubbing his hands together. "You want in on this Zim?"
"Join my forces with one such as you? Never!"
"You know he was the one who blew up your Voot Cruiser that one time when he got drunk at that party."
"THAT WAS HIM?" Dib nodded. "He shall pay."
"Good, now here's my idea, first we get Gandalf plastered. Then we throw in a hobbit or two in his general vacinity and record whatever happens." Dib leaned back in his chair, proud of his plan. Tak and Zim stared blankly at their human roommate.
"Riiiiiggghhhtttt. That or we could just sucker punch him when he falls asleep." Tak replied.
"Whatever." Dib said, shrugging. "Ok, at around one in the morning tonight, we go into his room and beat him with some soaps on ropes. Tubular."
"Tubular?" Tak questioned, one eyebrow raised.
"Ok that was bad." Dib said.
Later that night, around one in the morning.....
"Stealth Suits?" Dib asked.
"Check." Tak replied.
"Infrared goggles?"
"Check."
"Nanotechnology?"
"Check."
"Soaps on ropes?"
"Check." Tak spun the soap on a rope.
"THE CROTCH IS TOO TIGHT! ITS TOO TIGHT!" Zim yelled pulling down the suit.
"Ok let's go!" Dib cried out as they ran into the wizard's room. Stealthily sneaking from wall to wall, the three assailants moved to the nearest bed and brought their ropes above their heads. Just as the figure in the bed began to arouse, the three roommates brought their soaps down on the mattress, hitting the figure over and over. After about five minutes of walloping and screaming, the three figures left the room.
"Woo Hoo! We showed that Gandalf! No more stealing our.....stuff...?" Dib looked down the hall as he saw the old wizard stumbling toward them.
"What a great party. Oh hey jiggas! Whattup?"
"Gandalf? What the hell?"
"You guys shoulda been at the party yo, me and my homeboys stole all their...whats with the get-ups?"
"Uhhhhh nothing!" Tak yelled out.
"Cool, cause my roommate Frodo has this big exam tomorrow and if he gets woken up he'll be pissed off."
The three roommates looked uneasily at one another and ran back into their room.
The next morning......
"So, that was pretty much a bust." Dib got out of bed, putting on his glasses and scratching through his hair.
"I could've spent the night perfecting a new deathray but NOOOOOO! We have to beat the old wizard who ISN'T THE OLD WIZARD! Stupid humans." Zim got out of bed as well and had some of his machines begin putting on his human disguise.
"Moooorrnninnngggg duuuudddeeessss." Gandalf said as he appeared out of the wall, Zim quickly putting on the rest of his disguise before the old wizard could see him.
"What do you want?" Dib asked.
"Well my roomie Frodo went into a coma last night for some reason. Its really weird y'know. Anyway, when I was in the bathroom of the party last night this console appeared out of nowhere and then said TACOS, weird stuff indeed."
"The console! Wow, can't believe you found it!" Dib yelled out reaching for it.
"Wait, let me try something!" Gandalf waved his hands up in the air and a fireplace mystically appeared in front of him. A raging fire blazed within it as he threw the console in.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Dib yelled out watching the console in the fire.
"No wait, watch this, letters will appear and junk." The wizard watched as the console burned and after about 15 minutes of being in the flame, the console crumpled into dust and blew away. "Whoops. That didn't work."
"YOU ASS! YOU JUST DESTROYED IT!"
"Sorry dudes. Don't be a narq about it or nothing. Catch you on the flipside." Gandalf then disappeared once again into smoke.
"That guy is such an ass." Dib said.
"MY PRECIOUS!" Zim cried out shoving his hands into the fire. "AAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Don't see that everyday." Tak said, awoken by the screaming.
Across town........
"Leave me Samwise Girgee." The comatose Frodo yelled out, being pushed into the hospital. "I must go to Mordor alone."
"OookkkKKKKK." Gir then walked away.
"You want the light in your room on or off?" The hospital attendee asked.
"PUT IT OUT YOU FOOLS PUT IT OUT!"
End Chapter 11.