The Wisdom to Know the Difference
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference
*********
Okay, people, on with the show! I am not sure how much longer this fic may last, possibly for only one more chapter. We'll see. Thanks to my reviewers, especially WetherRose, who has been faithfully reviewing every chapter! *Balizabeth blows a big kiss to WhetherRose*. Heh...sorry if I seem a bit immature. I spend my whole day around two year olds, so I kind of regress throughout the day.
Anyway, what I want to explore in this chapter is how Harry and the Weasleys will interact now that they know the whole story. Also, Harry will go into the "public"- hehehe, angry and angsty emotiong galore! Yay!
*********
Harry awoke the next morning with a strange feeling of utter peace. For a moment, he didn't understand it. Then he remembered- Last night, he had told the Weasley's about the third task. He remembered the gasps. He remembered Ron's tears, Ron's apologies. He remembered Mrs. Weasley's warm hand on his shoulder, and those eyes looking at him, looking into him, and how they saw everything. In that moment she had reminded him of Dumbledore, whose eyes saw everything.
At first Harry felt shame- now they would all be gently with him, as to not upset him. 'Poor Harry', they would think, 'he has been through so much. We must treat him with care.' Last night, Harry had bared his soul to them. That was something he rarely did. Before, only Dumbledore and Sirius knew what had happened, had heard it from his own mouth. Now, all of the Weasley's knew.
Harry's world was ruled by survival. He had spent twelve years surviving with the Dursley's, and he had learned one very, very important thing: never let them see the inside of you. If you let them know how you feel, who they are, they will exploit it and use it against you. At and early age, he had learned that the world had claws and it could scratch you and rip you at anytime. The way to avoid it was to keep everything inside, and then you were safe.
But then, everything Harry knew changed. He went to Hogwarts. He entered a world where people cared about him. He met friends. And he learned that everything he thought he knew about surviving was wrong. If he continued blocking out the world, he would destroy himself. He needed to let people in, to let them know who he was, what he was afraid of. He needed to ask for and accept help. That was how a relationship worked. He needed to show himself, and know that it was human to hurt and fear. But his time in the wizarding world could not take back the poison the Dursley's had set in him.
Last year, Rita Skeeter had exposed him in such a cruel way. She had twisted his words and made adults pity him and his peers tease him. She had eventually made him something to be feared and not trusted. And he would have to face that as soon as he entered back into the wizarding public.
But now, since had told the Weasley's, he had allies. He had strength. They would help him. He knew that they would not use his emotions against him, and for that he was grateful. All in all, it was for the best that they knew. Harry got up out of bed and headed downstairs, prepared to face a day where people had seen his pain.
*******************************************************************
Breakfast was not the awkward thing Harry had expected it to be. When he walked in the room, almost everyone was already seated, devouring their food with a healthy vigor. Mrs. Weasley said,
"Good morning, Harry, dear," and slid some strips of bacon and some pancakes onto his plate. Harry felt a surge of relief. There were no loud questions, no concerned inquires to how he was feeling. They all knew that that was the last thing Harry wanted. They knew that if Harry broached the subject, then they would talk. Otherwise, it was a normal day. Harry smiled to himself as he thought that Mrs. Weasley had probably given the family a strict talking to before his arrival at the table. As the family finished up breakfast, Ron stood up and went outside, motioning Harry to follow him. A bit confused, Harry did so.
Ron and Harry walked to a tree and sat down in the shade. Ron looked over at Harry and said,
"Mum wanted me to ask you if you wanted to go to Diagon Alley with us today. You know, to get all your stuff. Our owls arrived this morning, but you were asleep."
When Harry heard this, he felt a brief moment of panic. Diagon Alley...there would be so many people there. His classmates from Hogwarts, especially. Everyone would be staring, wondering about Cedric, wondering if all the Daily Prophet articles had been true. Was he ready to face that?
Harry's mind went back to a nightmare that he had had before he came to The Burrow. He had been standing in the middle of Diagon Alley, while people walked past him with their eyes averted. He heard them whispering, he could feel their stares penetrate him. But no one said a word to his face. Finally, a woman emerged from the crowd, and called out to Harry, while everyone else shrank away from them,
"Harry Potter! I see you Potter! You can't hide! I see you! You murderer! You killer! You killed my Cedric, you let him die! I condemn, you Harry Potter! I condemn you, murderer, I condemn you!"
In his dream, Harry could only stare at her, all words lodged in his throat, while everyone else in the crowd now looked up at him, pure hate in their eyes...
"Harry? Harry? What do you say? Do you want to go?" Ron's worried voice snapped Harry back to the present. "Because if you don't, that's okay, Mum can get our stuff and we can just wait her, and play Quidditch or something..." Ron trailed off, uncertain on how Harry would react to an invitation back into the Wizarding world.
Now or never, Harry thought. You have to do it sometime. Besides, Ron will be there. Before he could change his mind, Harry swallowed and said, a bit unsteadily,
"Sure, Ron. I'll go. I wouldn't want to end up with maroon dress robes, now, would I?" Ron blushed at this, and opened his mouth,
"Harry, I never got to thank you for the galleons you gave Fred and-"
"Ron," Harry cut him off firmly, "You don't have to thank me. The money is where it can do much more good. And I should thank you, for asking me if I wanted to go to Diagon Alley out here, instead of in front of everyone." Harry and Ron met each other's eyes.
Neither of the boys was particularly good with words, but at that moment, they didn't need to be. They could read it in each other's eyes. 'Don't mention it,' they said. 'It's just what friends do.' Both Harry and Ron knew that they would be there for each other.
********************************************
Ron, Harry, and Mrs. Weasley stood clustered around the fireplace.
"All right boys, got your lists?" Both Harry and Ron nodded, and Mrs. Weasley said,
"Right, then. I've got Ginny's. We'll be traveling by the Floo, so Ron why don't you go first, then Harry, then me. Ready? Off we go, then."
Next thing they knew they were in Diagon Alley. Harry looked around, transfixed. He had forgotten how wonderful this place could be...
'Okay, let's get the money first," Molly Weasley interrupted Harry's thoughts as she hustled them along until they got to Gringotts. So far, Harry had seen no one he knew, which was a relief. Then, a cold voice drawled out,
"So, Potter, not afraid to show your face again? I have to admit I'm surprised. I'd have thought you had more sense than to go displaying yourself after what happened...but then, you really don't have much sense, do you?" Draco Malfoy sneered up into Harry's face.
Harry froze, as anger began to boil in his veins. But before he could say anything, Ron interrupted,
"Why don't you run along Malfoy, and pick on someone you can actually beat. But then again, you'll be looking for an awfully long time, so why don't you just scamper off, or whatever it is you ferrets do." Malfoy's cheeks tinged a bit and he glared at Ron with a coldness that was a little frightening. But Ron had had enough. No more would he let this jerk bother him, or Harry. After what had happened, Harry just did not need to deal with Malfoy.
Draco then directed his attention to Harry again and said bitingly,
"Weasley still fighting your battles? You always have people fighting for you, don't you, Potter? Weasley, Granger.... and, of course, we can't forget Diggory. You let him die for you didn't you Harry? Well, now a lot more will die, thanks to y-" Harry drew in a sharp breath. He would not take this, he could not take this. But before he had a chance to retaliate, Ron rushed forward. He grabbed Malfoy by the front of the robes and pushed him against a wall, with strength that surprised even him. Draco's feet dangled a few inches off of the ground as he stared at Ron in shock and fury.
Ron was almost shaking with anger. He looked at Draco and hissed so no one else could hear,
"You had best stop there, Malfoy. I don't fancy having to clean you up off the sidewalk if you keep up this talk. Walk away now, while you still have the choice." Ron roughly dropped Malfoy, and he sat there, rubbing his throat. He breathed in and out heavily several times, and then sauntered away, but not before calling,
"Weasley won't always be there, Potter..."
Harry turned to Ron in astonishment.
"Ron, you shouldn't have done that..." Ron just shook his head.
"No more, Harry. I will not listen to him anymore. Now, let's go get our gold."
Harry followed Ron, wishing Ron hadn't done that not for Harry's sake, but for his. One couldn't go around threatening a Malfoy. Harry couldn't think of one good thing that could come of this.
****************************************************************
Whew! I always wanted to put in a Ron/Harry/Draco fight scene, and I just did. I hope it was okay. This chapter seemed a bit redundant, but I am just trying to tie things up.
We finally got to see Ron at his most protective. He will not let anyone hurt Harry now. He views that he couldn't control how Harry got hurt at the third task, but he can control things like Draco Malfoy. At least, that's how I see it. Now, my thanks for all my awesome reviewers. Please, if you haven't already, do! Let me know what you think!
WhetherRose- you are too awesome. As soon as I have a chance, I would love to review your story. I am glad you think my opinion is worth something. You are way too kind in your reviews.
I like Sirius's "if only" speech, too. It was fun to write. Well, not fun. because its sad, but well, you know...er...I'll leave now...thanks a bunch!
Liley Dust- Yay, you spotted my LOTR saying! I love that part in the book and movie...hey, I just love LOTR!
rainyday- tsk, tsk- reading fanfic at work! Actually, I am very flattered. I am glad you enjoy it so much. Thanks for your Hermione advice. I don't think she will make much of an appearance, after all. Actually, I didn't know that they say that prayer at AA meetings. Good to know. I like to think I am queen of quotes and philosophies. You are too sweet. Thanks for the long review!
JaimeyKay- thanks for your advice. I have some thinking to do about how this will end...I am as in the dark as the rest of you! Thanks for the review...I do like this plot, I must admit.
TheStek- what can I say but thanks, thanks, thanks!
Sara- I consider it an ultimate accomplishment when I can make a reader cry. Thanks for reviewing!
Moonywolf- Glad you like it!
If I forgot anyone, just send me an angry e-mail and I will make it up to you! Thanks for reviewing, and keep it up!
Love ya!
Balizabeth
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference
*********
Okay, people, on with the show! I am not sure how much longer this fic may last, possibly for only one more chapter. We'll see. Thanks to my reviewers, especially WetherRose, who has been faithfully reviewing every chapter! *Balizabeth blows a big kiss to WhetherRose*. Heh...sorry if I seem a bit immature. I spend my whole day around two year olds, so I kind of regress throughout the day.
Anyway, what I want to explore in this chapter is how Harry and the Weasleys will interact now that they know the whole story. Also, Harry will go into the "public"- hehehe, angry and angsty emotiong galore! Yay!
*********
Harry awoke the next morning with a strange feeling of utter peace. For a moment, he didn't understand it. Then he remembered- Last night, he had told the Weasley's about the third task. He remembered the gasps. He remembered Ron's tears, Ron's apologies. He remembered Mrs. Weasley's warm hand on his shoulder, and those eyes looking at him, looking into him, and how they saw everything. In that moment she had reminded him of Dumbledore, whose eyes saw everything.
At first Harry felt shame- now they would all be gently with him, as to not upset him. 'Poor Harry', they would think, 'he has been through so much. We must treat him with care.' Last night, Harry had bared his soul to them. That was something he rarely did. Before, only Dumbledore and Sirius knew what had happened, had heard it from his own mouth. Now, all of the Weasley's knew.
Harry's world was ruled by survival. He had spent twelve years surviving with the Dursley's, and he had learned one very, very important thing: never let them see the inside of you. If you let them know how you feel, who they are, they will exploit it and use it against you. At and early age, he had learned that the world had claws and it could scratch you and rip you at anytime. The way to avoid it was to keep everything inside, and then you were safe.
But then, everything Harry knew changed. He went to Hogwarts. He entered a world where people cared about him. He met friends. And he learned that everything he thought he knew about surviving was wrong. If he continued blocking out the world, he would destroy himself. He needed to let people in, to let them know who he was, what he was afraid of. He needed to ask for and accept help. That was how a relationship worked. He needed to show himself, and know that it was human to hurt and fear. But his time in the wizarding world could not take back the poison the Dursley's had set in him.
Last year, Rita Skeeter had exposed him in such a cruel way. She had twisted his words and made adults pity him and his peers tease him. She had eventually made him something to be feared and not trusted. And he would have to face that as soon as he entered back into the wizarding public.
But now, since had told the Weasley's, he had allies. He had strength. They would help him. He knew that they would not use his emotions against him, and for that he was grateful. All in all, it was for the best that they knew. Harry got up out of bed and headed downstairs, prepared to face a day where people had seen his pain.
*******************************************************************
Breakfast was not the awkward thing Harry had expected it to be. When he walked in the room, almost everyone was already seated, devouring their food with a healthy vigor. Mrs. Weasley said,
"Good morning, Harry, dear," and slid some strips of bacon and some pancakes onto his plate. Harry felt a surge of relief. There were no loud questions, no concerned inquires to how he was feeling. They all knew that that was the last thing Harry wanted. They knew that if Harry broached the subject, then they would talk. Otherwise, it was a normal day. Harry smiled to himself as he thought that Mrs. Weasley had probably given the family a strict talking to before his arrival at the table. As the family finished up breakfast, Ron stood up and went outside, motioning Harry to follow him. A bit confused, Harry did so.
Ron and Harry walked to a tree and sat down in the shade. Ron looked over at Harry and said,
"Mum wanted me to ask you if you wanted to go to Diagon Alley with us today. You know, to get all your stuff. Our owls arrived this morning, but you were asleep."
When Harry heard this, he felt a brief moment of panic. Diagon Alley...there would be so many people there. His classmates from Hogwarts, especially. Everyone would be staring, wondering about Cedric, wondering if all the Daily Prophet articles had been true. Was he ready to face that?
Harry's mind went back to a nightmare that he had had before he came to The Burrow. He had been standing in the middle of Diagon Alley, while people walked past him with their eyes averted. He heard them whispering, he could feel their stares penetrate him. But no one said a word to his face. Finally, a woman emerged from the crowd, and called out to Harry, while everyone else shrank away from them,
"Harry Potter! I see you Potter! You can't hide! I see you! You murderer! You killer! You killed my Cedric, you let him die! I condemn, you Harry Potter! I condemn you, murderer, I condemn you!"
In his dream, Harry could only stare at her, all words lodged in his throat, while everyone else in the crowd now looked up at him, pure hate in their eyes...
"Harry? Harry? What do you say? Do you want to go?" Ron's worried voice snapped Harry back to the present. "Because if you don't, that's okay, Mum can get our stuff and we can just wait her, and play Quidditch or something..." Ron trailed off, uncertain on how Harry would react to an invitation back into the Wizarding world.
Now or never, Harry thought. You have to do it sometime. Besides, Ron will be there. Before he could change his mind, Harry swallowed and said, a bit unsteadily,
"Sure, Ron. I'll go. I wouldn't want to end up with maroon dress robes, now, would I?" Ron blushed at this, and opened his mouth,
"Harry, I never got to thank you for the galleons you gave Fred and-"
"Ron," Harry cut him off firmly, "You don't have to thank me. The money is where it can do much more good. And I should thank you, for asking me if I wanted to go to Diagon Alley out here, instead of in front of everyone." Harry and Ron met each other's eyes.
Neither of the boys was particularly good with words, but at that moment, they didn't need to be. They could read it in each other's eyes. 'Don't mention it,' they said. 'It's just what friends do.' Both Harry and Ron knew that they would be there for each other.
********************************************
Ron, Harry, and Mrs. Weasley stood clustered around the fireplace.
"All right boys, got your lists?" Both Harry and Ron nodded, and Mrs. Weasley said,
"Right, then. I've got Ginny's. We'll be traveling by the Floo, so Ron why don't you go first, then Harry, then me. Ready? Off we go, then."
Next thing they knew they were in Diagon Alley. Harry looked around, transfixed. He had forgotten how wonderful this place could be...
'Okay, let's get the money first," Molly Weasley interrupted Harry's thoughts as she hustled them along until they got to Gringotts. So far, Harry had seen no one he knew, which was a relief. Then, a cold voice drawled out,
"So, Potter, not afraid to show your face again? I have to admit I'm surprised. I'd have thought you had more sense than to go displaying yourself after what happened...but then, you really don't have much sense, do you?" Draco Malfoy sneered up into Harry's face.
Harry froze, as anger began to boil in his veins. But before he could say anything, Ron interrupted,
"Why don't you run along Malfoy, and pick on someone you can actually beat. But then again, you'll be looking for an awfully long time, so why don't you just scamper off, or whatever it is you ferrets do." Malfoy's cheeks tinged a bit and he glared at Ron with a coldness that was a little frightening. But Ron had had enough. No more would he let this jerk bother him, or Harry. After what had happened, Harry just did not need to deal with Malfoy.
Draco then directed his attention to Harry again and said bitingly,
"Weasley still fighting your battles? You always have people fighting for you, don't you, Potter? Weasley, Granger.... and, of course, we can't forget Diggory. You let him die for you didn't you Harry? Well, now a lot more will die, thanks to y-" Harry drew in a sharp breath. He would not take this, he could not take this. But before he had a chance to retaliate, Ron rushed forward. He grabbed Malfoy by the front of the robes and pushed him against a wall, with strength that surprised even him. Draco's feet dangled a few inches off of the ground as he stared at Ron in shock and fury.
Ron was almost shaking with anger. He looked at Draco and hissed so no one else could hear,
"You had best stop there, Malfoy. I don't fancy having to clean you up off the sidewalk if you keep up this talk. Walk away now, while you still have the choice." Ron roughly dropped Malfoy, and he sat there, rubbing his throat. He breathed in and out heavily several times, and then sauntered away, but not before calling,
"Weasley won't always be there, Potter..."
Harry turned to Ron in astonishment.
"Ron, you shouldn't have done that..." Ron just shook his head.
"No more, Harry. I will not listen to him anymore. Now, let's go get our gold."
Harry followed Ron, wishing Ron hadn't done that not for Harry's sake, but for his. One couldn't go around threatening a Malfoy. Harry couldn't think of one good thing that could come of this.
****************************************************************
Whew! I always wanted to put in a Ron/Harry/Draco fight scene, and I just did. I hope it was okay. This chapter seemed a bit redundant, but I am just trying to tie things up.
We finally got to see Ron at his most protective. He will not let anyone hurt Harry now. He views that he couldn't control how Harry got hurt at the third task, but he can control things like Draco Malfoy. At least, that's how I see it. Now, my thanks for all my awesome reviewers. Please, if you haven't already, do! Let me know what you think!
WhetherRose- you are too awesome. As soon as I have a chance, I would love to review your story. I am glad you think my opinion is worth something. You are way too kind in your reviews.
I like Sirius's "if only" speech, too. It was fun to write. Well, not fun. because its sad, but well, you know...er...I'll leave now...thanks a bunch!
Liley Dust- Yay, you spotted my LOTR saying! I love that part in the book and movie...hey, I just love LOTR!
rainyday- tsk, tsk- reading fanfic at work! Actually, I am very flattered. I am glad you enjoy it so much. Thanks for your Hermione advice. I don't think she will make much of an appearance, after all. Actually, I didn't know that they say that prayer at AA meetings. Good to know. I like to think I am queen of quotes and philosophies. You are too sweet. Thanks for the long review!
JaimeyKay- thanks for your advice. I have some thinking to do about how this will end...I am as in the dark as the rest of you! Thanks for the review...I do like this plot, I must admit.
TheStek- what can I say but thanks, thanks, thanks!
Sara- I consider it an ultimate accomplishment when I can make a reader cry. Thanks for reviewing!
Moonywolf- Glad you like it!
If I forgot anyone, just send me an angry e-mail and I will make it up to you! Thanks for reviewing, and keep it up!
Love ya!
Balizabeth