Harry Potter was sleeping soundly in his bed when he was rudely awakened. He fumbled for his glasses while telling whoever it was to stop shaking him. As he put his glasses on, he stared at the smiling figure facing him.
"Reese?" He said warily, "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to be the first one to tell you, Harry. I've got some really great news."
"What news? What happened?"
"The judge gave his assent," Reese said joyfully, "The papers were approved."
"What papers?" Harry asked with a sense of nervousness.
"The adoption papers," Reese explained. "As of midnight, we're officially brothers. Isn't that fantastic?"
*
"What happened? I heard screaming." Hermione asked as she came running out of her dorm room.
"It was Harry," Neville explained. "He had a nightmare. But he's okay, now. Ron is with him."
"Does he remember what it was?"
"Only that it was something horrible," Neville said.
"He was probably dreaming about his parents again," Hermione said sadly, adding, "and You-Know-Who."
*
"Malcolm," Draco asked, "How was your vacation? My parents said they were inviting you over to celebrate the New Year."
"It was very strange," Malcolm said, "Malcolm Baddock spent the entire evening asking me why I existed."
"Just treat him like he was your brother. Hit him if he doesn't go away. Why didn't you get Reese to do something? He loves that type of thing."
"Some girl turned him into a coat rack. I talked to your Dad about it, but he changed him back, anyway."
Draco smiled at the comment, and asked, "Then who was it they found in my bedroom? Baddock said your brother was in my bed with a girl."
"That was Dewey."
"Dewey?" Draco said in a confused voice.
"They were only playing cards."
"Then why were they . . . "Draco began to ask, then changed his mind. "Did your parents have a good time?"
"Yeah," Malcolm said with a laugh, "Your dad gave my mom a house elf, because she insulted his cousin, and Francis has a date with MacNair's niece."
"I know her," Draco said, "She makes me look like a muggle-lover. Why would she want to go out with your brother?"
"I don't know. Francis says it's due to a lack of commitment."
*
"But Nob cannot take clothes from you, mistress," Nob the house elf said, "That means that mistress is freeing Nob, and Nob will have to leave."
"Listen to me," Lois said losing her patience, "I will not have you running around this house wearing a towel. These are Dewey's old clothes and they will fit you, and you will wear them."
"But then Nob will be free," Nob pleaded.
"Fine, you'll be free," Lois said, "And if you want to, you can leave. But if you stay, you better expect to work."
"Nob can stay?" Nob asked. "Nob can stay without being owned?"
"Welcome to America," Lois said, "We're not allowed to own people here."
"But Nob is not a person."
"Did you understand what I just told you?" Lois demanded.
"Yes?"
"Then you are a person. Any questions?"
Nob paused as the thought of not being owned but being able to stay filtered its way into his brain. "Where does Nob sleep, mistress?"
"Oh, I guess Malcolm's old bed, and don't call me mistress. You make it sound like I'm running a Whorehouse. Call me Lois."
"Yes, Lois," Nob said proudly, "what do you want Nob to do?"
"For now, just go up to Dewey every five minutes and tell him he's not supposed to do that"
"But what will Dewey be doing?"
"It doesn't matter. Whatever it is, he isn't supposed to be doing it."
*
The cold frosty dawn in January was disturbed by the sounds of two young Hogwarts students, playing by the lake.
"You see, Dennis, hold the rock so that when you throw it, it's almost even with the water. Then you can skip the rock across the water. Try it again."
"I get it, Malcolm. Look. It worked. The rock skipped five times."
"Watch out, here comes the rock, " Malcolm said, as the smooth rock came flying out of the lake. He picked it up and said, "Okay Dennis, try again."
"What are the two of you doing?" Ginny asked as she walked up to them.
"Malcolm's teaching me dexterity," Dennis said, "it's one of the skills I'll need if I ever become an animagus."
"It looks to me like he's teaching you how to skip rocks," Ginny said.
"And He's getting good at it," Malcolm said, "Go ahead, Dennis. Show her."
Dennis palmed the rock as he had been taught and threw it across the lake. "One . . . Two . . . Three . . . Four . . . Five . . . Six, a new record," he shouted happily.
"Careful," Malcolm said, as the rock came flying back, landing on the spot where Dennis had been standing. "We only have one rock," Malcolm explained, "and the Giant Squid is nice enough to keep throwing it back to us."
"May I try?" Ginny asked, and Malcolm handed her the rock. She tossed it, and smiled as Dennis counted off seven skips.
"My record is nine," Ginny said, looking Malcolm straight in the eye, "I did twelve once, when I was a little girl, but I realized I had unintentionally used magic. I don't count that one."
Without moving her eyes, Ginny held out her hand and caught the incoming rock. "By the way, the squid and I are old friends." She tossed the rock back to Malcolm, and walked back to the castle.
[I hate when she does that.]
"I hate when she does that," Dennis said.
"I was just thinking the same thing," Malcolm replied.
*
"Hello, Mom," Francis said into the telephone.
"Mom is not here," said the voice at the other end.
"Who is this?" Francis asked, "Did I dial the right number."
"This is Nob. I do not know. And excuse me." Francis listened as the voice turned away from the phone and called out, "Dewey, you are not supposed to be doing that."
"What was Dewey doing?"
"Nob does not know. Nob does know he was not supposed to be doing it."
"Fine," Francis said, "Is my mother there."
"Mother?" Nob replied. "Do you mean Lois? She is taking a nap and will end Nob's existence on this planet if she is disturbed. Would you like me to get her for you?"
"Um, no, that's all right," Francis said, and he heard a sigh of relief come from the other end of the phone. "Just let her know that I called."
"Can Nob wait until Lois is done with her nap?"
"Yeah, that's not a problem."
"Oh, thank you. Thank you. Nob is very grateful. Dewey, you are not supposed to be doing that. Thank you. Thank you."
"How is your conversation going?" Stan asked, walking up to Francis.
"I have no idea," Francis said, "I think I'm talking to the house elf."
"Yes, Nob is the house elf," the voice from the phone said.
"Thank You, Nob."
"Francis is welcome. Nob is happy to help."
"Nob, how OLD are you?" Francis asked in a joking manner.
"Nob is this . . ." the voice said as the sound of the phone being dropped was heard.
"Nob is sorry. Nob dropped the . . . the . . . what this is."
"It's called a phone," Francis said, as Stan laughed. "Nob, could I talk to Dewey, please."
"Should Dewey be doing that?"
"Yes, definitely," Francis said.
Dewey picked up the phone as Nob said, "Dewey, you should not be doing that."
"Francis, He's really annoying."
"I know he is, Dewey," Francis said, "but he did something strange, and I need you to ask him a question. Ask him how old he is, then tell me what he does."
Francis listened as Dewey said, "Nob, how old are you?" then Dewey spoke into the phone saying, "He's holding up all the fingers on one hand and one finger on the other hand."
"Great," Francis said, "That means your new servant is six years old."
"No, he isn't," Dewey said, "His hands only have four fingers."
Stan saw the look on Francis's face and asked, "What happened?"
"My mom has a five-year-old elf watching my brother."
Stan frowned and said, "I take it this is not a good thing."
Francis went to talk into the phone and heard Nob in the background, saying "Dewey, you're not supposed to be doing that."
Dewey was heard, saying, "I'm older than you are. I don't have to listen to you."
"Dewey," Francis called out, "Get Mom, and tell her I need to talk to her."
"No," Dewey replied, "She'll kill me."
"Then wake her up by telling her that Nob is Five."
"What happened?" Stan asked.
"He hung up."
*
"Your parents own a house elf?" Hermione said in disgust, "How can they do that?"
"They don't own him," Malcolm said, "He's kind of like Dobby, he works for room and board."
"Oh, how nice," Hermione said, "Room and board. Couldn't they try enlightening him to his potential in the world?"
"Well, they take him to the movies every weekend," Malcolm said.
"The movies?" Harry Potter asked, laughing. "Do they buy him popcorn?"
"And a soft drink." Malcolm said, as Harry began rolling on the floor.
Hermione tried to keep a straight face and failed.
"My parents sent me a family picture," Malcolm said, "that's why I mentioned it."
Controlling their laughter, Harry and Hermione looked at the picture.
"Why is your house elf wearing sunglasses?" Hermione asked.
"They go with the overalls," Malcolm said. "See. That's Thomas the Tank Engine."
"Malcolm," Hermione said, "Go Away. Please, Go Away."