A/N: I want to say thank you, once again, to everyone who is reading this. I also appreciate the comments that I received on chapter 20. It is difficult to have a serious funeral in the middle of what is supposed to be a comedy. In case anyone else was interested, about Harriet's question (I had e-mailed her with it), the password, Requiescat, is from the Latin phrase "Requiescat En Pace" or "Rest in Peace."



If I may respond to Mandraco, (of course I can, I'm the author, I can do anything) I think Albus was teasing them, but that's only my opinion.



I would also like to thank Pam Briggs for your review. I'm assuming you liked watching Malcolm. Hopefully, I have added more than one new fan to my favorite show. (My wallpaper [on the computer of course] is a MITM scene downloaded off the BBC website.)







CHAPTER 24: WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP IT'S BEEN

"And you are?" Spangler asked.

"Francis, Sir. I'm new here."

"Don't worry, cadet. We'll have you whipped into shape in no time," the Commandant told him, emphasizing every other word by poking Francis in the chest with his hook.

"He still doesn't remember you," Stan whispered.

"This is disgusting," Francis said, as Spangler walked away, "but I'm almost out of here."

"Free for the summer," Stan mused.

"No, free permanently," Francis said, smugly. "Do you remember Andy, who left because he was eighteen?"

"You're not eighteen, Francis,"

"No, but I had myself legally declared an adult."

"Don't you need your parents' permission for that?"

"Just their signatures," Francis explained, "and Malcolm is an excellent forger when it comes to that."

"When are you leaving?" Stan asked.

"Let me put it this way, Stan. It was nice knowing you, and I promise to write."

*

"No wonder the owls couldn't deliver this letter," Malcolm thought to himself as he flew over Greater London, "I can't even tell where this person is."

With difficulty he landed at the right address, but the name on the mailbox was wrong. He looked around, saw no one watching, and changed back.

"Excuse me," he asked a young girl skipping rope in the street, "I was looking for Jeffrey, but he doesn't seem to live here anymore."

"You're dressed funny," the girl said, looking at his robes, "His dad got a promotion six months ago, and they moved. You're a Yank. Why are you dressed like that?"

"I'm in the church choir," Malcolm said, "Do you know where they moved to?"

"Mum said they went Down Under," the girl said, "What church?"

"One in the States," Malcolm said, "and thanks."

"You're welcome, Yank," the girl told Malcolm. As he walked away, she shouted after him, "You're in the wrong country, you know?"

[Okay, the owl didn't deliver the invitation to Hogwarts because this kid moved to Australia. The question is this: Should I return the letter to Dumbledore and explain what happened, or should I try to deliver it.]

*

"They're asking questions," Professor McGonagall said.

"The tracking spell is working without any problems," Dumbledore answered, "Malcolm is fine, and we know exactly where he is."

"You knew he would do this," Minerva admonished.

"I was curious," Albus said, "Malcolm has an independent streak, and it helps to give him plenty of leeway."

"That is nonsense, and you know it, Albus Dumbledore. I only want to know why you gave him such freedom."

"I assure you, Minerva, the principal reason was that he would be safe. And we are learning from Malcolm about the Owls. Things that we take for granted. I am surprised that he did not take longer to complete the task."

"Then he is on his way back?"

"He should arrive in the morning."

*

On the morning of June 22, a group of Gryffindors sat at breakfast in the Great Hall talking about the one person that was missing.

"It's been five days," EJ said, "and he still hasn't shown up."

"I know," Amber Dowling added, "a couple of Slytherins in our potions class even asked me, politely, if I knew anything."

"That is strange," Ginny admitted, "but I asked McGonagall and she told me not to worry. She knows what's going on, but she refuses to say anything."

"Maybe he's been expelled," Ron said hopefully.

"His trunk is still here," EJ pointed out, and grinned as Ron scowled.

"I know where Malcolm is," Hermione said suddenly, and pointed at the entranceway. Malcolm walked in, escorted by a middle-aged man in tan robes. He smiled at everyone as he was escorted past them on his way to the teacher's table.

*

"Excuse me," the man said, in a thick Australian accent, "I am assuming that you are Professor Dumbledore."

"I am, indeed," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling as he greeted the stranger.

"I believe I have one of your students. He wandered into our school by mistake, and couldn't find his way back."

"I can explain, Sir," Malcolm said.

"I'm sure you can, Malcolm," Dumbledore said with amusement, "but you are interrupting the conversation." He turned to the man before him, and said, "Welcome to Hogwarts, Sir, and we thank you for returning Malcolm. He tends to lose his way quite frequently. And you are?"

"My apologies. I am Justin Parker, Assistant to the Dean at Unseen University, Alice Springs, Australia. It seems your young animagus flew into our dining hall and delivered a letter to one of our new students. It was a surprise, for all of us."

"We were testing Malcolm's abilities as an owl." Dumbledore explained. "It appears that he was a bit enthusiastic. He should have realized that the letter did not need to be delivered."

"He was disappointed that we didn't say 'G'Day, Mate' all the time," Parker said, "but other than that, he was a perfect gentleman."

"That is a surprise," Professor McGonagall commented.

[They're laughing at me again.]

*

"What was it like?" Ginny asked, as they all gathered in the common room.

"The Unseen University. It was really strange. All of the buildings looked like they grew right out of the rocks. The weirdest thing they had was the school tower. From bottom to top it's about twenty feet tall."

"That's not much of a tower," Hermione laughed.

"That's what I thought," Malcolm said, "But from top to bottom it's at least a half-mile."

"What?" said just about everyone.

"Yeah," Malcolm said, "It seems that the tower is higher at the top than it is at the bottom. You walk inside, you climb a flight of stairs, and you are as high as if you were standing on a mountaintop. They used to use a ladder until recently."

"I want to see that," Hermione said, beating everyone else to the punch.

"Professor Parker," Malcolm said with a grin, "is staying to watch the Tournament, and while he's here, he and Dumbledore are going to discuss setting up a student exchange program."

"That will be interesting," EJ commented, "Malcolm said that they start their school year in the fall, which is spring for us."

"They'll send us down for summer vacation," Hermione said smugly, "That would make the most sense. Anyone who wants to, can give up a month of summer for a month of winter. I'd do it just to climb that tower."

"I should warn you," Malcolm said, "it does get cold up there."

"I have to ask you," Hermione said, "Why didn't you realize that you didn't have to deliver that letter? I thought you would have been smarter than that."

"Have you ever been to Australia?"

"No."

"I have."

[Okay. Everyone is laughing, and Hermione is rolling her eyes. I think I've got their attention.]

"I have to find an excuse, so I can go back there in October," Malcolm told everyone, "That's when they have the annual boat race."

"They have a boat race in the middle of the desert?" EJ asked.

*

"Excuse me, Professor Parker," Ginny said as she, and several other Gryffindors intercepted the Australian visitor, "Malcolm has been telling us some things about Alice Springs, and we wanted to know if something was true."

"It's the tower, I'll bet," Parker told them. "Yes, it is true."

"No, Sir," Hermione interrupted, "Malcolm claims you have a boat race every year."

"That would be the Henley-On-Todd Regatta," Parker said.

"Regatta?"

"Sorry, I said that just for fun," the professor said with a laugh, "but we do have the boat race every year, unless it rains."

"I don't think we follow you," Hermione said.

"You can't have a boat race if there's water in the river," Parker pointed out, as his grin grew wider.

"Is it something to do with the magic that you use," Neville asked.

"Actually, It's a muggle thing," Parker explained, "I guess you'll have to come down and see for yourselves."

*

"Um, Sir," Gregory Goyle asked.

"Yes, Mr. Goyle," Dumbledore said, "I will add you to the list."

"The list, Sir? Then I'm not the only one to ask about the exchange program?"

"It has only been one day since Malcolm returned," Dumbledore said with a grin, "and already more than twenty students have asked about the program. I do have to tell you, Mr. Goyle, that the program doesn't even exist, yet. You will have to wait until next year at the least."

Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape watched as the Slytherin student walked off. "I didn't realize this exchange program was so popular," Professor Snape said, "How are the teachers reacting to the idea?"

"I've added your name to the list, Severus."

"Thank you, Albus."