Yes I've writing the third chapter! Because of all the stuff ups with
ff.net lately I haven't been able to upload them as quickly as I'd like but
what are you gonna do! Well I hope you enjoy this chapter which will
probably be just some mindless dribbling but hey should be funny. I think!
(Now there's a scary concept!)
Warning: My fic seems to be getting ruder and ruder as I go along though
it's not intentional it just happens! :) So if it offends you or u think
it's to rude STOP READING!
No matter how hard Mr. Filch tried he couldn't get Malfoy's 'things' down from above the Slytherin table where they were floating decorations and amusement for everyone. Everyone that is except for Draco who was fuming as he stood and looked at the things hung above his houses table. "Wanna know the best bit?" asked Goyle. "Can it get any better?" laughed Harry. "The only two ways they'll is if we take the charm off or if Malfoy admits there his and gets them down himself" replied Crabbe. "Ingenious!" Shouted Harry wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. He looked over to see Hermoine and Draco bickering like an old couple and Snape who had now stopped laughing was helping Filch try and get the decorations down.
After a week of Malfoy refusing to admit they were his, the G-strings and handcuffs continued to hover in the great hall. One night during dinner they all came toppling down on top of him and own of the handcuffs fell into his soup. Harry saw Crabbe slid his wand into his pocket as the hall erupted in laughter. Hermoine, after breaking up with Malfoy, was back to her normal school obsessed, kind (sorta) self. "Honestly you two, I have far more homework put together yet I manage to finish ALL my homework before you, why is that?" asked Hermoine smugly as she watched Harry and Ron frantically try and finish a potions assignment they'd been given a week before. "Well you don't have a teacher predicting your death do you!" replied Harry "What does that have to do with Ingredients of a successful antidote?" asked Hermoine reading the top of her assignment parchment and giving them an 'I'm right your wrong' look. Ron muttered something under his breath that sounded like 'stupid lil' smart-ass' though Harry was sure what he'd said was far more rude than that.
THE NEXT DAY
Harry and Ron got ready for Double Divination while Hermoine had Arithmancy and Muggle Studies. "I really can't handle Professor Trelawney looking at me as though I could drop dead any second. I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me," sighed Harry. "Hey Harry, have you figured out why the Dementors make you faint yet?" asked Ron "He's probably attracted to them and they make him pass out," said a cold and evil voice. "Your very cocky today Malfoy!" grinned Harry as an evil thought formulated in his head " Though from the look of those G Strings you wouldn't fit a whole lot in 'em so your probably just compensating!" Crabbe and Goyle had gone back to hating Harry & Co but couldn't help smiling to themselves as they remembered the night, one week ago, when Malfoy got majorly shamed. "Sod off Potter, you don't take Arithmancy so why are you here? Looking for Hermoine?" retorted Malfoy and it was obvious it took him along time to come up with just that. "Well considering this is the Divination room and Arithmancy's down there I won't dignify that with an answer!" laughed Harry. Malfoy was speechless (shocking but true) and left, only growling as he walked down the hall followed closely by Cabbes and Goyles. Harry felt rather proud as Ron, Neville and Seamus looked at him with pure admiration as they climbed the stairs to the divination room. They sat together at a round table on cushions and there were crystal balls set up in front of them. Ron looked into it and said "Oh look it's Malfoy's thongs" Harry looked into his and saw "Woods boxers. Again! He'd loose his head if it wasn't screwed on properly!" "Can you actually see that or are you making it up?" asked Seamus with a hint of disbelief in his voice. "No I really see them! Sadly enough!" laughed Harry. Before they new it the lesson was over all there lessons were over and they headed to the Gryffindor common room to find Hermoine in a corner crying on Angelina Johnson's shoulder. "It'll be alright Hermoine! There are plenty more fish in the sea!" she said patting her comfortingly on the back. "Dinner will be ready soon though I'm not sure that were having fish!" said Neville looking concerned at how Hermoine was acting. "It's a figure of speech!" replied Angelina "Hermoine's upset because Malfoy's being a pain in the ring piece!" "Want me to sort him out?" asked Ron smacking his fist into the palm of his other hand. "Yeah I'd lurve to see that!" laughed Katie Bell who'd walked in with Wood. "Oh Wood! If I was you I'd hold onto your boxers!" said Harry "Why?" asked Wood a look of concern and fear on his face. "In divination we were looking in crystal balls and you'd lost your boxers again!" replied Seamus. Harry felt something hit the side of his head. He saw a miniature Quaffle at his feet and looked up to see Katie and Angelina glaring at him. 'Oops!' he thought as he laughed out loud getting weird looks from everyone. It was time for dinner so they all headed for the great hall and were the first ones (out of all 4 houses) to arrive. Hermoine had stopped crying and was now laughing at the Weasley twins story about when they set off fireworks in the Slytherin common room and they (the Slytherin scum) were all screaming like a bunch of girls with their panties on fire! Ron was tapping his fingers on the table impatiently and Harry thought, if Dumbledore hadn't walked in he would have begun chanting "I want food! I want food!" Harry saw Professor Lupin come in and he practically ran over to where he sat. "Hi Harry! Ready for double Defence Against the Dark Arts tomorrow morning?" "Uh yeah! Professor I was wondering will be able to continue practising fighting the Dementors?" Harry asked secretly wishing he'd say yes. "Sure Harry! How's Friday for you?" replied Professor Lupin who looked around the room as if waiting for someone. "I was thinking maybe tomorrow," said Harry who was feeling a tad deflated. "No tomorrows no good for me!" answered Lupin who began to fold and unfold his napkin nervously. "Okay Friday will have to do!" sighed Harry "Catch ya later!" "Bye Harry!" Lupin relaxed and began talking to Professor McGonagal who had just sat next to him. In no time at all everyone had arrived and were sitting enjoying dinner. Ron was eating as though he hadn't in months; Hermoine picked at her food and played with it as if she was unsure what it was and Wood kept edging closer to Harry trying to escape Angelina's relentless grasp. Harry only ate a little because he wasn't really hungry. When Ron had finished stuffing his face he turned to Harry and asked in a whisper "So are you coming to Hogsmeade this weekend mate?" "Yeah I think I will!" replied Harry when he remembered the gift he'd gotten from Fred and George. "Do you have a plan to get there?" asked Ron "As a matter-a-fact I do!" replied Harry grinning like the cat that got the canary. (Have I said that before in this fic?) "Care to share?" asked Ron edging closer to Harry so he felt trapped between him and Wood. "You shall find out soon enough my young apprentice!" replied Harry laughing while Ron gave him a "What the hell are you on about?" look. "Star Wars?" "Wha?" "It's a Muggle movie. Forget I said anything!" sighed Harry who began eating the pudding that had now arrived on the table. "Oh Hermoine, you shouldn't let Malfoy get to you!" said Wood who was watching the sad expression on her face. "He was my first true love," Hermoine replied sadly. "True Love?" choked Ron "Please tell me I heard wrong!" "He was so charming, so sweet, so naughty," began Hermoine "STOP!" cried Harry, Ron, George, Fred and Wood at the same time. "Do you think we actually want to know that stuff?" asked Ron who was looking very stunned. "I'm sorry I really am! I just really miss him!" replied Hermoine who began to ball her eyes out and continually bang her head on the table. "Bloody hell! What's gotten into her?" asked Seamus who had begun watching her. "Malfoy!" replied Harry and Ron. Harry and Ron decided they'd go back to the common room were it would be quieter. Harry and Ron had saved some Bertie Botts every flavour beans, chocolate frogs and other goodies and decided they'd eat those. They also took that time to finish their divination homework, which mainly involved dribbling crap and sounding, as though they knew what they were on about. (Or if you're Canadian aboot) "So I wonder what mystical predictions Professor Trelawney will have for us tomorrow!" pondered Ron who was taping his quill on his piece of parchment. "I know everyone should say goodbye to Harry because today will be the lat day he is with us!" replied Harry mocking Trelawney's voice. "Probably, or you wont die today you'll get hit by a rouge bludger that has flown all the way from Afghanistan where it was smacked out of a Quiditch ground with great force and has flown all the way to Hogworts just to knock you over. You shall be greatly hurt but will fight to live another day only to be bitten by a poisonous gerbil while you sleep in the hospital wing!" laughed Ron "GERBIL!" replied Harry who was chocking on a chocolate frog. "Thank you thank you!" bowed Ron "I'm here till. Whenever I leave!" "What's so funny?" asked Neville who had just come into the common room. "Gerbil!" answered Harry who began to giggle insanely as though he was a teenage girl who was hitting on, or being hit on by a teenage boy. "Righty then! I'm going to bed!" said Neville. "Night!" replied Ron while Harry fanned his red face with his piece of parchment. About an hour later the whole of Gryffindor had flooded into the common room and it was now so loud that Harry couldn't hear himself think. "I'm going to bed!" he shouted to Ron. "Same!" replied Ron and they both climbed the stairs to their dorm. They both changed into their PJ's and lay down to sleep.
"SIRUIS BLACK OH SHIT OH CRAP HELP ME HELP ME!" screamed Ron in the middle of the night making everyone leapt out of bed and dash over to see if he was okay. His curtains where ripped and he was shaking like crazy. His face was as white as a sheet of A4 paper and even his freckles couldn't be seen. "No one's here Ron! It must have been a bad dream," said Harry who was looking around as though waiting for Black to leap out and attack him. "Then how come his curtains are ripped?" asked Seamus. "If he was dreaming he may have ripped it when lashing out at Sirius!" said Neville. "Well he's not here now is he!" said Harry
****Behind one of the window curtains****
"Hehehehe that's what you think!" laughs Sirius
****Back beside Ron's bed****
"Did you guys here something?" asked Ron. "Your being paranoid there's no one here!" answered Seamus. "What's going on?" asked McGonagal who had burst in the door. Ron then began to tell her the story (not that she'd be able to understand he was speaking so fast!) "Ron come with me! The rest of you back to bed!" said McGonagal putting her arm around Ron and leading him out the room.
****Behind window curtains**** "Old fool!" cackles Sirius. "I WILL GET THAT LITTLE RAT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!"
****Near Harry's bed**** "Did you say something Seamus?" asked Harry "Yeah sure whatever!" replied Seamus who was half-asleep and not listening.
****Behind window curtains**** "I am so stoned!"
****Near Harry's bed**** "That's nice Neville!" yawned Harry who rolled onto his side and fell asleep.
The next morning Harry and Hermoine went straight to the Hospital Wing were Ron had stayed the night (McGonagal thinks he may have taken substances which cause him to hallucinate). Ron was sitting wide-awake in bed reading a book. "Morning! Lovely day isn't it birds singing sun shinning oh and look Crockshanks is tightrope walking!" said Ron frantically. "It seems that our friend Ron wasn't hallucinating so the antidote is making him hallucinate!" said Hermoine patting Ron on the shoulder. "Let me guess you read about it somewhere!" laughed Harry while Ron tried to swat "Pink Dragons" that were flying around his head. "It should wear off in about an hour or so," said Madam Pomfery who had walked in. Harry and Hermoine went to breakfast and got Ron some toast that they took back to him in the hospital.
What ever will happen again? Will Sirius get the little rat? Find out when I upload the next chapter! Please review my fic if you like it and if not review anyway! I'd just like to say that I don't have a problem with any of the characters or houses so if it seems like I do I and dreadfully sorry!
No matter how hard Mr. Filch tried he couldn't get Malfoy's 'things' down from above the Slytherin table where they were floating decorations and amusement for everyone. Everyone that is except for Draco who was fuming as he stood and looked at the things hung above his houses table. "Wanna know the best bit?" asked Goyle. "Can it get any better?" laughed Harry. "The only two ways they'll is if we take the charm off or if Malfoy admits there his and gets them down himself" replied Crabbe. "Ingenious!" Shouted Harry wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. He looked over to see Hermoine and Draco bickering like an old couple and Snape who had now stopped laughing was helping Filch try and get the decorations down.
After a week of Malfoy refusing to admit they were his, the G-strings and handcuffs continued to hover in the great hall. One night during dinner they all came toppling down on top of him and own of the handcuffs fell into his soup. Harry saw Crabbe slid his wand into his pocket as the hall erupted in laughter. Hermoine, after breaking up with Malfoy, was back to her normal school obsessed, kind (sorta) self. "Honestly you two, I have far more homework put together yet I manage to finish ALL my homework before you, why is that?" asked Hermoine smugly as she watched Harry and Ron frantically try and finish a potions assignment they'd been given a week before. "Well you don't have a teacher predicting your death do you!" replied Harry "What does that have to do with Ingredients of a successful antidote?" asked Hermoine reading the top of her assignment parchment and giving them an 'I'm right your wrong' look. Ron muttered something under his breath that sounded like 'stupid lil' smart-ass' though Harry was sure what he'd said was far more rude than that.
THE NEXT DAY
Harry and Ron got ready for Double Divination while Hermoine had Arithmancy and Muggle Studies. "I really can't handle Professor Trelawney looking at me as though I could drop dead any second. I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me," sighed Harry. "Hey Harry, have you figured out why the Dementors make you faint yet?" asked Ron "He's probably attracted to them and they make him pass out," said a cold and evil voice. "Your very cocky today Malfoy!" grinned Harry as an evil thought formulated in his head " Though from the look of those G Strings you wouldn't fit a whole lot in 'em so your probably just compensating!" Crabbe and Goyle had gone back to hating Harry & Co but couldn't help smiling to themselves as they remembered the night, one week ago, when Malfoy got majorly shamed. "Sod off Potter, you don't take Arithmancy so why are you here? Looking for Hermoine?" retorted Malfoy and it was obvious it took him along time to come up with just that. "Well considering this is the Divination room and Arithmancy's down there I won't dignify that with an answer!" laughed Harry. Malfoy was speechless (shocking but true) and left, only growling as he walked down the hall followed closely by Cabbes and Goyles. Harry felt rather proud as Ron, Neville and Seamus looked at him with pure admiration as they climbed the stairs to the divination room. They sat together at a round table on cushions and there were crystal balls set up in front of them. Ron looked into it and said "Oh look it's Malfoy's thongs" Harry looked into his and saw "Woods boxers. Again! He'd loose his head if it wasn't screwed on properly!" "Can you actually see that or are you making it up?" asked Seamus with a hint of disbelief in his voice. "No I really see them! Sadly enough!" laughed Harry. Before they new it the lesson was over all there lessons were over and they headed to the Gryffindor common room to find Hermoine in a corner crying on Angelina Johnson's shoulder. "It'll be alright Hermoine! There are plenty more fish in the sea!" she said patting her comfortingly on the back. "Dinner will be ready soon though I'm not sure that were having fish!" said Neville looking concerned at how Hermoine was acting. "It's a figure of speech!" replied Angelina "Hermoine's upset because Malfoy's being a pain in the ring piece!" "Want me to sort him out?" asked Ron smacking his fist into the palm of his other hand. "Yeah I'd lurve to see that!" laughed Katie Bell who'd walked in with Wood. "Oh Wood! If I was you I'd hold onto your boxers!" said Harry "Why?" asked Wood a look of concern and fear on his face. "In divination we were looking in crystal balls and you'd lost your boxers again!" replied Seamus. Harry felt something hit the side of his head. He saw a miniature Quaffle at his feet and looked up to see Katie and Angelina glaring at him. 'Oops!' he thought as he laughed out loud getting weird looks from everyone. It was time for dinner so they all headed for the great hall and were the first ones (out of all 4 houses) to arrive. Hermoine had stopped crying and was now laughing at the Weasley twins story about when they set off fireworks in the Slytherin common room and they (the Slytherin scum) were all screaming like a bunch of girls with their panties on fire! Ron was tapping his fingers on the table impatiently and Harry thought, if Dumbledore hadn't walked in he would have begun chanting "I want food! I want food!" Harry saw Professor Lupin come in and he practically ran over to where he sat. "Hi Harry! Ready for double Defence Against the Dark Arts tomorrow morning?" "Uh yeah! Professor I was wondering will be able to continue practising fighting the Dementors?" Harry asked secretly wishing he'd say yes. "Sure Harry! How's Friday for you?" replied Professor Lupin who looked around the room as if waiting for someone. "I was thinking maybe tomorrow," said Harry who was feeling a tad deflated. "No tomorrows no good for me!" answered Lupin who began to fold and unfold his napkin nervously. "Okay Friday will have to do!" sighed Harry "Catch ya later!" "Bye Harry!" Lupin relaxed and began talking to Professor McGonagal who had just sat next to him. In no time at all everyone had arrived and were sitting enjoying dinner. Ron was eating as though he hadn't in months; Hermoine picked at her food and played with it as if she was unsure what it was and Wood kept edging closer to Harry trying to escape Angelina's relentless grasp. Harry only ate a little because he wasn't really hungry. When Ron had finished stuffing his face he turned to Harry and asked in a whisper "So are you coming to Hogsmeade this weekend mate?" "Yeah I think I will!" replied Harry when he remembered the gift he'd gotten from Fred and George. "Do you have a plan to get there?" asked Ron "As a matter-a-fact I do!" replied Harry grinning like the cat that got the canary. (Have I said that before in this fic?) "Care to share?" asked Ron edging closer to Harry so he felt trapped between him and Wood. "You shall find out soon enough my young apprentice!" replied Harry laughing while Ron gave him a "What the hell are you on about?" look. "Star Wars?" "Wha?" "It's a Muggle movie. Forget I said anything!" sighed Harry who began eating the pudding that had now arrived on the table. "Oh Hermoine, you shouldn't let Malfoy get to you!" said Wood who was watching the sad expression on her face. "He was my first true love," Hermoine replied sadly. "True Love?" choked Ron "Please tell me I heard wrong!" "He was so charming, so sweet, so naughty," began Hermoine "STOP!" cried Harry, Ron, George, Fred and Wood at the same time. "Do you think we actually want to know that stuff?" asked Ron who was looking very stunned. "I'm sorry I really am! I just really miss him!" replied Hermoine who began to ball her eyes out and continually bang her head on the table. "Bloody hell! What's gotten into her?" asked Seamus who had begun watching her. "Malfoy!" replied Harry and Ron. Harry and Ron decided they'd go back to the common room were it would be quieter. Harry and Ron had saved some Bertie Botts every flavour beans, chocolate frogs and other goodies and decided they'd eat those. They also took that time to finish their divination homework, which mainly involved dribbling crap and sounding, as though they knew what they were on about. (Or if you're Canadian aboot) "So I wonder what mystical predictions Professor Trelawney will have for us tomorrow!" pondered Ron who was taping his quill on his piece of parchment. "I know everyone should say goodbye to Harry because today will be the lat day he is with us!" replied Harry mocking Trelawney's voice. "Probably, or you wont die today you'll get hit by a rouge bludger that has flown all the way from Afghanistan where it was smacked out of a Quiditch ground with great force and has flown all the way to Hogworts just to knock you over. You shall be greatly hurt but will fight to live another day only to be bitten by a poisonous gerbil while you sleep in the hospital wing!" laughed Ron "GERBIL!" replied Harry who was chocking on a chocolate frog. "Thank you thank you!" bowed Ron "I'm here till. Whenever I leave!" "What's so funny?" asked Neville who had just come into the common room. "Gerbil!" answered Harry who began to giggle insanely as though he was a teenage girl who was hitting on, or being hit on by a teenage boy. "Righty then! I'm going to bed!" said Neville. "Night!" replied Ron while Harry fanned his red face with his piece of parchment. About an hour later the whole of Gryffindor had flooded into the common room and it was now so loud that Harry couldn't hear himself think. "I'm going to bed!" he shouted to Ron. "Same!" replied Ron and they both climbed the stairs to their dorm. They both changed into their PJ's and lay down to sleep.
"SIRUIS BLACK OH SHIT OH CRAP HELP ME HELP ME!" screamed Ron in the middle of the night making everyone leapt out of bed and dash over to see if he was okay. His curtains where ripped and he was shaking like crazy. His face was as white as a sheet of A4 paper and even his freckles couldn't be seen. "No one's here Ron! It must have been a bad dream," said Harry who was looking around as though waiting for Black to leap out and attack him. "Then how come his curtains are ripped?" asked Seamus. "If he was dreaming he may have ripped it when lashing out at Sirius!" said Neville. "Well he's not here now is he!" said Harry
****Behind one of the window curtains****
"Hehehehe that's what you think!" laughs Sirius
****Back beside Ron's bed****
"Did you guys here something?" asked Ron. "Your being paranoid there's no one here!" answered Seamus. "What's going on?" asked McGonagal who had burst in the door. Ron then began to tell her the story (not that she'd be able to understand he was speaking so fast!) "Ron come with me! The rest of you back to bed!" said McGonagal putting her arm around Ron and leading him out the room.
****Behind window curtains**** "Old fool!" cackles Sirius. "I WILL GET THAT LITTLE RAT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!"
****Near Harry's bed**** "Did you say something Seamus?" asked Harry "Yeah sure whatever!" replied Seamus who was half-asleep and not listening.
****Behind window curtains**** "I am so stoned!"
****Near Harry's bed**** "That's nice Neville!" yawned Harry who rolled onto his side and fell asleep.
The next morning Harry and Hermoine went straight to the Hospital Wing were Ron had stayed the night (McGonagal thinks he may have taken substances which cause him to hallucinate). Ron was sitting wide-awake in bed reading a book. "Morning! Lovely day isn't it birds singing sun shinning oh and look Crockshanks is tightrope walking!" said Ron frantically. "It seems that our friend Ron wasn't hallucinating so the antidote is making him hallucinate!" said Hermoine patting Ron on the shoulder. "Let me guess you read about it somewhere!" laughed Harry while Ron tried to swat "Pink Dragons" that were flying around his head. "It should wear off in about an hour or so," said Madam Pomfery who had walked in. Harry and Hermoine went to breakfast and got Ron some toast that they took back to him in the hospital.
What ever will happen again? Will Sirius get the little rat? Find out when I upload the next chapter! Please review my fic if you like it and if not review anyway! I'd just like to say that I don't have a problem with any of the characters or houses so if it seems like I do I and dreadfully sorry!