Curse of the Puppy part 3
Yeah. Sorry it took me so long to get this part out. New semester started and I really have a lot of work to do. Damn programming…anywho, enjoy!
~**~
The wagon comes to an abrupt halt near the edge of the river. Allen jumps out of the wagon and tests the depth of the water.
"It's pretty shallow. We can make it across if we avoid the jagged rocks."
"Err…Allen…" Van stars, looking quite horrified.
"What? What's the matter?"
"You might want to avoid the man-eating piranhas, too…"
Allens eyes widen as he looks down at his feet. Sure enough, there's a swarm of piranha's chewing happily at his boots. One has gotten through the leather and is gnawing on Allen's toe. Allen takes a few seconds to register the pain, then calmly steps out of the water. Everyone waits for a reaction from Allen.
"Allen…are you okay?"
Allen nods calmly at Hitomi.
"I'm great. Well…there is the SEARING PAIN IN BOTH MY FEET!!!!" Allen shouts. He grabs the foot with the chewed toe and jumps around in circles, blowing on his toe.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, OWIES!!!!" Allen screams, tears brimming his eyes.
Everyone visibly winces and try's to figure out a way to cross the bridge without ending up like Allen. Of course, it's kind of hard to think when you have a man screaming blue murder behind you. This problem was dealt with quickly and efficiently with one swing of the pan that Millerna had brought with her. With a satisfying 'BONG' Allen was on the floor with little x's in his eyes.
"Well, that took care of that." Millerna said, putting her frying pan back into her bag. Everyone took a good couple of bum-steps away from Millerna.
"Errr…right. So. Is there any way to cross the bridge without being eaten alive?"
Everyone goes back into thinking mode. They ponder for a good 20 minutes before Van speaks up.
"Why don't we build ourselves a bridge? It shouldn't take too long, and it should protect us from the devil fishies."
Everyone nods in agreement.
"But, how are we going to build it? Did we even pack any tools?" Hitomi asks.
Everyone goes deadly silent.
"Did we….?" Van asks the group slowly.
"Well, I packed makeup, cooking supplies, food, rope, tents, clothes, more makeup, a sink, my bureau, and a laptop…hmm…nope, I didn't pack any. I thought you were going to, Van."
"I thought Allen was going to…well, we can't ask him now. How about you, Hitomi?"
"Nope. I thought you and Allen were going to do that. I packed food, clothes and my tarot cards."
"Merle??" Van questions desperately.
"Nope. I didn't pack anything. I was leaving that stuff to you guys."
Van gulps audibly and checks Allen's bags. He snarls and tosses it over his shoulder. The pack sails harmlessly over the horses and lands with a thump on Allen's head.
"Hair Care products!" Van hisses. "Can't the think about anything but his stupid hair!?"
"Obviously not…" Merle mutters.
"So how the hell are we supposed to make this bridge if we don't have anything to make it with?" Hitomi asks in a whiney voice.
"I guess we'll have to find another way across…"
"Why don't we use Allen as a human bridge? Then he'll actually be of some use…" Merle chuckles. She pales when she sees everyone's heads shoot up. "Uhh…guys…I was just kidding. Your not –WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"
Everyone stops and looks at Merle. They are all holding onto Allen, and are positioning him above the river.
"What? We are taking your advice. It's a good idea. He survived before, he'll do it again."
Merle stares at Van, her mouth making a wide O. "I can't believe you, Van-sama! This is just wrong! I mean, how would you like it if you were used as a human bridge when you were unconscious? I bet you'd be pretty peeved off. I mean, what kinds of friends are we!? We'll just have to find some other way…to…" Merle stops her speech and sweatdrops. While she was pouring her heart out, the rest of the Esca gang had used Allen's body as a large stepping-stone, and were now safely across the river. The wagon was there, too.
"You guys are sick…" Merle comments, jumping onto Allen then jumping onto the other side. When Merle was safely across, Hitomi and Millerna drag Allen's body out of the water and flip him over.
To say Allen was in bad shape would be an understatement. Actually, the look is so gory, that I'm not permitted to describe it, or else I'll have to change the rating to 'R'.
Anyways, Millerna bandages Allen up as best she can, and they continue on their journey with Van steering the wagon.
~**~
A couple of minutes later, Millerna realizes something and calls to Van. "Hey, we know that this guy is in this forest, but where exactly is he? I mean, are we just supposed to look around until we find him? Won't that take a while? And what if he already left?"
"I know where he usually is. He hangs around in the middle of the forest around a really spooky lake. If he isn't there, then I know someone else who could help us."
Millerna nods, satisfied, and resumes her task of counting the trees in the forest.
The wagon comes to a stop, and Van turns and speaks to his friends. "Alright. We're almost at the middle of the forest. We have to go the rest of the way on foot or else he'll hear us coming and take off. Take ONLY the things we NEED. Food, clothes, blankets, ex. No hair care products or makeup. I mean it, Millerna." Van warns, seeing Millerna try to stuff some lipstick into her bra. She giggles nervously and takes it out, packing a few blankets into her pack instead.
After slapping Allen awake, and hiding anything with a reflective surface from him, they take all their belongings and head out.
After about 10 minutes of hiking, Allen starts to whine that his feet hurt, and Millerna keeps stopping and trying to talk to the trees. After about 10 more minutes of whining and being waylaid by Millerna, Van cracks and orders them to camp.
"I swear, you people are pathetic…" Van mumbles, trying to set up his tent. He stops when he's almost crushed by the tent pole, and decides to just sleep in Hitomi's tent.
After eating roasted chipmunk and singing annoying campfire songs that no one really knows the words to, the gang puts the fire out and goes to sleep.
~**~
Halfway through the night, Hitomi is awakened by a snapping sound. She looks over and sees Van still sleeping contently, wrapped up in her jacket. She decides not to wake him since he can't do shit if their attacked anyway, and heads out to see what made the sound.
After searching around the camp for a good five minutes, Hiotmi calls it her imagination and heads back to her tent. Just when she opens up the flap, she hears it again. She whips around and looks into the forest. She sees nothing, but hears the sound again. Now being royally freaked out, Hitomi decides to wake Allen up. She crawls into his tent and shakes him.
"Allen…Allen, common wake up. I hear something. I'm freaked out. I'd wake up Van, but he's just a puppy, so all he'd be able to do is bark, which is really pointless if we're being attacked by orcs. And don't tell me I'm reading too much The Lord of the Rings, because this place isn't exactly New York. Hello? Are you awake yet? Allen??"
Allen snorts and rolls over, pulling the covers over his head. Hitomi glares at him, than yelps when she hears the sound again. Seeing no other choice, Hitomi grabs a pan which just happened to be there, and whacks Allen over the head –quietly.
Allen yelps and jumps up, unsheathing his sword and looking around his tent frantically. "Who!? What!? Where!?" He stops when he sees Hitomi sitting on the floor, staring at him.
"Allen, the baddies are outside."
"WHAT baddies!? The only thing this forest has is chipmunks, but I think they're all gone now that we roasted ten of their buddies."
Hitomi narrows her eyes at him and grabs his arm, dragging him outside his tent. "Damnit, Allen. I heard a snapping noise. Three times. It's no chipmunk. I think…I think it's orcs…"
"Orcs? What the hell is an orc? Are you licking tree's again?"
"Shhh!" Hitomi hisses, crouching down. "An orc in an elf who was tortured and killed. They're real nasty…"
Allen stands behind Hitomi while she crawls around, scratching his head. "What the hell in an elf?"
Suddenly they both hear the snapping noise, and Allen readies his sword. "Your right, that's no chipmunk…"
They both gasp when they see a figure emerge from the forest, his bow raised. He sees the two of them and lowers it a bit.
"Excuse me, travelers. But might any of you be able to aid me in finding Rivendell? I seem to be quite lost. This forest is queer and unrecognizable."
Allen looks lost as to where 'rivendell' is, but Hitomi has a completely different expression on her face.
"OH MY GOD! ITS LEGOLAS!" She squeals, bouncing up and down. Legolas's eyes widen and he raises his bow again, aiming it at Hitomi.(1)
"How do you know my name? We have never met, and you are clearly no elf."
"OMG! You are Soooooo dreamy! Omg! Can I have your autograph!?"
Legolas blinks and takes a few steps backwards. "Err…is she well?" He asks Allen, stringing another arrow just incase.
"Hitomi? Umm…no comment, but I think you got the wrong show, buddy."
Legolas sighs and nods. "I was afraid this was so. Well, I'd best be off." Legolas puts the arrows away and turns to leave. "Do you have any idea as to how I might return to my own realm? Your friend is starting to worry me, and if the folk around here are anything like her, I should like to get home sooner rather than later."
"Walk towards the columns of light. Those seem to bring a lot of people here."
Legolas nods his thanks, and takes off into the forest before Hitomi can pounce him.
Hitomi lets out a wail of disappointment and kicks a rock with a pout. "Damnit. I bet elves are great in bed, too." Hitomi stomps over to her tent, tosses the flap back and dives into it. Allen is still really confused as to who the guy with the warped ears was, but he had really nice hair.
~**~
The next morning, the gang rises from a nice, warm, and long sleep. Everyone except Hitomi and Allen who couldn't get back to sleep. Hitomi was staying awake just incase any other cuties from The Lord of the Rings happened to stop by, and Allen was kept up by Hitomi's ramblings about how close she had been to shagging Legolas.
After a quick breakfast, they pack their belongings and leave the camp site. Hitomi scoops up the twig Legolas had stepped on, and stuffs it in her bra.
After about 20 minutes of walking, Allen passes out from lack of sleep, so Millerna is forced to carry him on her back. Another 20 minutes goes by, and Millerna passes out from exhaustion. By this time, Van has developed a rather nasty twitch in his left eye, Merle is about to strangle everyone, and Hitomi is about ready to pass out from heartbreak. After only 40 minutes of walking, they have barley gotten anywhere, and two of their friends are out cold. It's time for some quick thinking on Van's part.
"Alright…" he grits out. "We're obviously not getting anywhere like this. If I had known that you people were in such bad shape, I would have gone alone. Now, someone wake Allen up and make him carry Millerna. We're going to walk for another ten minutes and then stop for a quick rest."
After slapping Allen awake yet again, and hauling Millerna up onto his back, the gang starts hiking again. Van is so stressed that he can barley keep himself from banging his head against a nice sharp rock, so Hitomi is forced to carry him.
When night falls, the group is a total mess. Van is having a nervous breakdown, Allen can barley keep his eyes open, Millerna is fussing over how ruined the bottom of her dress is from being dragged on the floor, Merle is about three seconds away from stabbing Millerna with something, and Hitomi is trying to keep Van from committing suicide. It doesn't look like they're going anywhere.
When Allen is finally snoring peacefully by the campfire, Van is calmed down, and Millerna is given a needle and thread to fix up her skirt, the situation looks a lot better. Hitomi sets out to trap a few birds, and Merle is set on guard duty.
"Okay…it looks like we're going to have to camp…AGAIN." Van hisses. "This journey was only suppose to take one day, but you stupid people are so bloody slow! Tomorrow we are getting up at 5 o'clock and we're going to hike until we reach the pricks hut, and I REALLY don't care if you people don't like it!!"
Everyone nods curtly, and focuses on what they were doing.
~**~
The next morning, everyone is awoken bright and early by Van, and they set out five minutes later. They all walk considerably faster and with less complaints, and by no time they are facing a wooden cabin in a small clearing. They all hide behind a thick tree and huddle.
"Alright. That SHOULD be his hut. A few things could happen from here. One; he took off while we were getting here, two; he's still in there, ready for us to pound. If he is there, we have to go VERY quietly, because if we're seen he could take off, or throw a nasty little curse at us. We REALLY don't need to be kittens right now." Van stops and looks everyone in the eye; they're all ready. "Alright. This is how we're going to do this. Me, Hitomi and Allen will sneak up from the back, crawl along the cabin, and stay at the front door. Merle and Millerna will stay at the side of the cabin one of you on each side. You'll be our backup. If you see something's wrong, grab a chipmunk or something and help us out. Alright, lets move…"
They all nod and split up. Merle and Millerna tip toe over to opposite ends of the cabin and sit there. Van, Hitomi and Allen run to the back of the cabin, get down on all fours and crawl around the side, making sure to go under the windows. When they finally reach the front doors, they nod to Millerna and Merle, and Allen kicks the door down.
To be continued.
~**~
Don't you just love cliffhangers? WAHAHAHA! I'll try to get the next part out soon. Hope you liked.
1 –I really hope you people know who he is by now. You know, Legolas? Elf Prince? Lord of the Rings? If you haven't read the book, then you MUST have seen the movie. Anyways, a lot of people seem to be drooling over him, one of them being me, so why wouldn't Hitomi? ^___^.