Before he could change his mind, Justin pressed the buzzer on the outside of Brian's building. It was only when he heard Brian speak did he realize he had been holding his breath.

"Hey Mikey. Come on up, the door's unlocked."

Justin slowly opened the door and decided to take the stairs rather than having to stand still in the elevator. He never remembered Brian living so high and he counted every step. Firmly wrapping his hand around the metal door handle, Justin slid it to his right. The teenager's heart sped up as he spied Brian's form that was slightly obscured by the foggy room dividers. The long legs covered in tight black denim. The graceful arms left naked by the black muscle shirt.

"I hope you brought some of those lemon squares," Brian said as he walked out of his bedroom. "I'm actually in the mood for . . ."

As their eyes met, Brian could no longer form words.

"I'm sorry," Justin said almost instantly. "I, um, I just . . ."

Justin stopped in order to gather both his thoughts and his emotions.

"I needed to see you," he managed to say.

Brian came towards him slowly. Hazel was locked on blue.

"But um, if you're waiting for Michael I can come back . . . or not . . . whatever."

Justin turned and headed back to the door that he had never closed. The sudden sound of Brian rushing towards him startled him but the older man only reached out to slide the door closed before he could.

"Well then," Justin began again. "I . . shit, could you please say something?"

Brian raised his eyebrows and slightly shrugged his shoulders.

"You want something to drink?"

Justin exhaled loudly.

"Yeah."

Brian walked over to his refrigerator and grabbed two beers. As he handed one to Justin, he allowed his fingers to linger upon his for a moment before he pulled away. Quickly, Justin opened the can and downed half of it in one gulp.

"Hey, hey, hey," Brian said. "Take it easy."

Justin lowered the beer on to the counter and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Brian, I came here because I have to talk to you," he said in a tiny voice.

Brian left his unopened beer next to Justin's on the counter and came towards the boy who was trembling slightly.

"Then talk."

Instantly, Brian hated how rough his voice sounded.

Ignoring the tears that were rising in his eyes, Justin continued.

"I'm sorry for what happened at the party. I never wanted it to happen like that - "

"How would you have liked it to happen?"

Justin swallowed and took in a shallow breath.

"I never did," he said softly. "I never wanted it to happen. I'm not even sure why it did."

"You fell in love," Brian stated plainly.

Slowly, the younger man shook his head.

"No," he admitted. "No, I was already in love."

Brian watched silently as a tear escaped and slid down Justin's cheek.

"Damn it Brian, I'm still in love," Justin said clearing his throat. "But not with him. With you."

A lump was coming up into Brian's throat and he fought to keep it down without showing any sign of it.

"And I hate it," Justin continued. "I hate that I can't stop thinking about you. I hate that when he kisses me I wish it were you. I hate that when he holds me it's your arms I feel. I hate that I have this . . . insatiable want for you."

As another tear fell, Brian felt the goosebumps rise on his flesh.

"Christ, that's half the reason I'm here."

When Justin saw the questioning eyes, he struggled to explain.

"This afternoon, Ethan and I were . . ."

Something inside Brian suddenly felt good when he realized that Justin was unable to say it in front of him.

"And I, God, I fuckin' said your name Brian," Justin finally said.

Brian's eyes slightly widened and he almost smiled until he saw that Justin looked as if a slight breeze would send him crashing to the floor.

"Now I need you to tell me what you want," Justin said in a barely audible voice. "Whether or not you think we could go back. If not, I'll go away and I swear you won't have to see me again."

Brian looked closely at him and wondered if that was a true statement. Painfully, he then realized that it was. Justin had come a long way from the lovesick boy he had been, following him around like a lost puppy.

"Brian," Justin pleaded. "Please, tell me."

The silence was so loud that Justin feared his heart would explode. He wanted to say Brian's name again to encourage a response, but he knew the shear familiarity of it was enough to break him down at this point. Slowly, the boy held back his tears and nodded once.

"All right," he said delicately. "Good-bye."

Sniffing once, the teenager turned towards the heavy door once again. As he reached for the handle however, he felt two strong hands grab his shoulders and spin him around. The lips on his mouth come fast and pushed him against the door with their force. Justin moaned as Brian pushed his body tight against his as he continued to kiss him. The older man's fingers slid into Justin's hair and as he pulled his lips away, he pressed their foreheads together.

"Don't go," he whispered against his mouth. "You can't go."

Somewhere deep inside of himself, Justin wanted to laugh. Those were the exact words he'd spoken to Brian then he thought he was moving to New York. Instead, Justin reached up and held the side of Brian's face with his hand while the other one rested on his neck.

"Justin," he said incredibly softly. "I love you."

The tears were falling freely from Justin's sapphire eyes now and as he looked into Brian's hazel orbs he saw that they were glazed over as well.

"I want you to come back," he admitted. "I need you to come back. I wanna wake up next to you again."

Justin smiled and pulled back to study his face.

"I want me to come back too," he said. "And I want us to work. But, Brian - "

The older man interrupted him by kissing his waiting lips once again.

"I know," he said as he pulled away slightly. "It won't be like that anymore."

Justin looked back at him with questioning and unbelieving eyes.

"Just you and me," Brian added. "Believe it or not, that's all I want. No one else."

A little laugh of joy bubbled from Justin's mouth as Brian spoke those words. Shortly after however, he nearly screamed when the door he was pinned against vibrated with the force of someone knocking on the other side. Brian cast his eyes downward.

"Fuck," he said under his breath.

The knocking continued and was soon followed by Michael's voice.

"Brian, open up! The food's gonna get cold!"

Justin shyly looked away and moved aside. Brian took in a deep breath and held up his pointer finger, telling Justin without words that he would handle it. Slowly, Brian slid the door back but stepped in the threshold, blocking Michael from entering.

"Hey," Michael said. "Just in time, I was . . . are you okay?"

Brian knew that his eyes showing the telltale signs of emotion and he was unable to put on an enthusiastic face for the man who'd just interrupted something extremely important, even if his friend had no idea what had just taken place.

"Yeah," Brian said. "But I'm gonna have to cancel our plans."

Michael knotted his eyebrows in confusion and concern.

"Brian, what's wrong?"

Knowing that Michael would not be satisfied with "nothing", Brian struggled to find a better explanation.

"Mikey, I just . . . I can't tell ya right now all right?" he stated as gently as he could. "I'm sorry you brought all of this - "

Brian pointed to the two bags Michael was carrying as he spoke.

"But I just need to be alone right now."

Michael licked his lips and swallowed.

"Are you sure you're okay?" This isn't like a "buttplug" situation or something and you need my help."

Brian was unable to suppress a slight laugh at that.

"No," he said. "I promise, I'll tell you later all right?"

"Well, okay, at least take this," he said handing him one bag. "It's your favorite."

"Thanks Mikey."

Michael smiled and shrugged lightly.

"No prob," he said. "See ya."

Brian smiled again and slid the door closed. After he dropped the bag on the floor he turned to see that Justin had moved closer to him. Brian looked at the young man and laughed helplessly.

"Where were we?" he questioned in a playful voice.

Without saying anything, Justin reached out and took Brian's face in both his hands, pulling him back to his mouth. The dark haired man smiled into their kiss as he slowly ran his hands down Justin's body. As their kisses grew more passionate, the pair stumbled their way up the steps and then fell onto the bed together. As Justin pulled Brian up so that he was hovering over him, he felt his warm hands move under his shirt to caresses his wanting skin. Sliding his hands down Brian's firm arms, Justin groaned softly and arched his back in order to feel as much of his lover as possible. Despite his own immediate desires however, Brian pulled away suddenly and spoke carefully to the slender man underneath him.

"What about him?"

Justin wanted to start crying again at Brian's mention of Ethan, but the older man held him in his gaze and demanded an answer.

"Because if we do this Justin," he added. "I won't let you go back."

Justin pulled himself up, wrapped an arm around Brian's neck, and then fell back into the sheets so that the taller man was lying full length upon him.

"I don't wanna go back," he whispered. "I wanna stay here. I wanna be with you."

Brian responded warmly as Justin kissed him.

"I love you."

Justin wondered if their would be an end to his tears as he felt them rise once again as he spoke the words he had been aching to since he first meet Brian over two years ago. Needing to hear nothing further, Brian began to kiss him again and shivered as Justin ran his fingers up his back and then under his shirt to feel his warm skin. As the young artist's nimble fingers then moved to undo the buttons at the front, Brian's lips wandered all over his face, leaving quick but passionate kisses. The two stopped momentarily to remove their clothes and for what seemed like a blissful eternity they gently touched, caressed and kissed each other like they would never see the other again. When they began to make love in the same tender manner, their secret whispers never stopped.

Does that feel good?

You're so beautiful.

I love the way you feel.

I love you.

Tell me again.

Yes, yes, yes.

Do that again.

Brian.

Justin.

When they had both been satisfied, they laid down on their sides facing each other with their arms keeping them locked in a loving embrace. The pair kissed softly and gently wished one another "good night" before they closed their eyes and waiting for sleep to take them.

A little over an hour later, something inside Justin stirred and caused the young man to wake up. As his senses came into focus, he could feel Brian gently stroking his cheek with his thumb. As his tired eyes took in his surroundings, he saw that Brian had pulled away a little and was staring at him. Concerned, Justin reached out and wrapped his hand around Brian's thumb that now rested on the side of his face.

"Brian," he asked. "Have you slept? What's the matter?"

Still looking at him, Brian tightened his grip around Justin's hand.

"Promise me you won't leave."

Justin looked longingly at him, unsure of what to say. He had never seen Brian as vulnerable as he was now.

"I'm not going anywhere," he replied simply.

After a moment, the taller man scooted closer and rested his head on the blond's chest. Justin slowly wrapped his arms around Brian and caressed his back until he felt him fall asleep.

To be continued.