Chapter Three
"Come on, it's been at least an hour," whined Sugarbaby.
"No, it hasn't" said Dib. It's been exactly five minuets."
Zil's group wandered through the streets. Hardly anyone was out.
"Quit it," said Zil. She was becoming impatient as her eyes scanned the street. "Shhh," she said. "There's a person!" Zil pointed down the road to a lady walking around. The trio caught up with her, by various shortcuts involving a lot of crashing noises.
"Excuse me, but do you know where Mike Weird-Hair-Boy lives?" asked Sugarbaby innocently.
"Oh, yes," the woman said, surprised at Sugarbaby's description. "His house is right there." She pointed to a large, white house that was—right in front of them.
"Thank you human!" Zil said as they walked up the driveway. They went up to the porch. Inside they heard music…horrible music.
/You came; you saw, you conquered me; it's a love invasion! / (A/N-yes, they really had that song on the show. /
"Ohhh…" groaned Dib. "Make it stop!!!"
"Sorry, Dib," Zil said. "We've gotta stay on the porch until the others come." So the three sat on the porch with their ears covered, desperately waiting to the other two groups to show up.
"Where are we?" asked Gaz Destiny.
"I don't know," said Kami. "Wish we had a map of this stupid place."
Gaz had long since gotten bored and started playing her Gameslave again.
"Hey, let's go into that fast-food place," suggested Ztarlight.
"Good idea," said Kami.
"Maybe Herb's in there, so I can kill him off early," said Gaz Destiny. "Don't want that bag of pus in out way when the real stuff comes around."
The group went into the restaurant. There were only a handful of people in there. At the counter stood Herb.
"Eh…" said Ztar. The mere sight of him made her sick.
They went up to him.
"Hey, Target Practice, where's Mike Weird-Hair-Boy's house?" Gaz Destiny asked.
"It's down that road. It's 324 West Avenue. It's big and white and—"
"STOP TALKING!" said Gaz. Apparently his voice annoyed her as much as the others.
Grateful for Gaz's outburst, the group went outside. Before leaving, Gaz Destiny had one more thing to do.
"Hey, Target Practice," she called again.
"Yeah?" he asked like an idiot.
Gaz Destiny casually poked her head in from the doorway. Gun behind her back, she said "Thanks for the directions!" with a cheery smile. She lifted the gun and pulled the trigger of the laser gun at Herb's head and shot. No more annoying voice.
"Thank goodness that's over with," Ztar said. Like Herb had said, they went down the road and there was the white house. They saw Zil, Sugarbaby and Dib, eyes wide, shaking from overdose of the horrible music.
"Hi guys!" said Kami cheerily. Her face fell and her left eye twitched insanely. "What's that sound???" she growled, eye still going. Thankfully, Zim's group was walking up the driveway just then, because Kami launched herself through the door. Her body's outline remained, permanently in the wood. Zim, Gir, Pefgh and Cryingchild raced up the porch, just in time to see Kami screaming at the people inside. Mike and Angela sat on the couch, watching Cedric and the aliens make fools of themselves.
"STOP SINGING!!!" she screeched. The kids and aliens, both surprised, looked at her. Kami stayed there for a second before jumping on B. Bop and ripping pieces of his head off. "You suck at singing! Ah HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" she continued to pick the flesh from his skull. When she was done, she gorged his eyes out and shot him with her small but powerful laser gun, reducing him to dust.
"Anyone else wanna make a career out of singing???" Kami asked.
"Uh…hi," said Cedric to the cast of invaders. Unfortunately, that wasn't heard. The whole IZ team was on the ground, squealing with laughter.
"That wasn't funny!" said 2-T. "He was our friend."
Zil stopped laughing long enough to give a comment. "He may have been your friend, but he was a sucky singer!!!"
"Wait until Bog finds out about this!!!" said Do-Wah.
"Bog?!" Zim said from the floor. "Bwa-ha!!!" What a joke!"
"Bog'll kick your little green @$$!" said Do-Wah.
"Ha Uh huh. Your race couldn't take out the weakest Irken on our planet."
For a moment, the 3 humans and 2 remaining aliens could be heard choking on their own throats.
"Y-you're Irken Invader Zim?!" said 2-T in disbelief.
"Yup," Zim said. "And here to kick your blue @$$!!!"
"Yo…we're sorry about your time slot," said Mike nervously. "But it's not our fault."
"Shut up weird hair boy!" said Cryingchild. She jumped forward with a razor. A cloud of dust rose around the two, hiding them from view. Before long, the razor was heard going and seconds later, Mike's 'weird hair' fell on the floor a few feet away from the battle right in front of the audience, with pieces of scalp still stuck to it. It was about five seconds more before the IZ team was down again, dying of laughter. The remaining members of the BUM team stood appalled.
Finally, Cryingchild emerged the victor. Irregular pieces of his body were strewn about the floor near Cryingchild. She clicked off her razor. The room was silent.
"Who thinks I should be a barber?" she asked.
Just then, Angela started crying.
"Miiiiiike," she wailed.
"Shut up, pathetic earth-worm," said Pefgh. Irritably. Pefgh ran to her, jumped and did a fantastic, perfect, not to mention forceful, roundhouse kick that took Angela's head clean off of her shoulders. Pefgh landed in a neat crouch position upon landing. She was greeted by cheering.
The IZ team formed a semi-circle around 20T, Do-Wah and Cedric.
"Whoa—" said 2-T. "I'm sure that we can talk this over." And then he did that annoying thing where he puts his bottom lip over his front one. Zim closed an eye before screaming—
"YOU ARE THE MOST PATHETIC EXCUSE OF AN ALIEN INVADER TEAM LEADER THAT I HAVE EVER LAID EYES ON!!!" and then shoving 2-T's head through the wall. 2-T pulled his head out of the wall only to have Zim's fist punch him in the face hard and send him back into the wall. This happened over and over again. The IZ team stood speechless, watching Zim put 2-T's head through the wall over and over again.
"STOP IT!!!" Zil screamed. Everyone looked at her, even 2-T, with much difficulty since his face was covered in blood and one eye was practically out of its socket. She stuck a laser gun in Zim's Martian-blood adorned gloved hand. "Use this."
Zim set the laser to burn and shot a flamethrower that any pyromaniac would be proud of. 2-T burned for awhile, running around before his charred corpse fell to the ground. Zil threw up on it.
"Thank Tallest that's over with," she said wiping her mouth. "Sheesh, Zim, don't get you mad."
Cedric and Do-Wah were leaning against each other for support.
"Ahhhh," Do-Wah moaned softly. "What do we do now?"
Now, we all know how very annoying Do-Wah's voice is, right? And we all know how very easily annoyed Gaz can get, right? Right.
Upon hearing that annoying voice, Gaz's fingers slipped off the controls of her Gameslave and she lost. It was the last level, too.
Gaz looked up and gave Do-Wah her extra-ten-times-worse-than-normal- death stare, which she had never ever used. She got up and pulled two sporks out of nowhere. She walked up to him and stuck the two sporks in his eyes. Jelly came out. Then she put her head on his head and squeezed the skin. There was a little ball forming on the top of his head and his skin was thinning out over the rest of his body. Then-riiiiiiiiiiiip! – Do-Wah had skin on more. His organs fell from his skeleton and his eyes with the sporks still in them fell to the ground. Gaz walked triumphantly away. Only Cedric was left.
"Come on, it's been at least an hour," whined Sugarbaby.
"No, it hasn't" said Dib. It's been exactly five minuets."
Zil's group wandered through the streets. Hardly anyone was out.
"Quit it," said Zil. She was becoming impatient as her eyes scanned the street. "Shhh," she said. "There's a person!" Zil pointed down the road to a lady walking around. The trio caught up with her, by various shortcuts involving a lot of crashing noises.
"Excuse me, but do you know where Mike Weird-Hair-Boy lives?" asked Sugarbaby innocently.
"Oh, yes," the woman said, surprised at Sugarbaby's description. "His house is right there." She pointed to a large, white house that was—right in front of them.
"Thank you human!" Zil said as they walked up the driveway. They went up to the porch. Inside they heard music…horrible music.
/You came; you saw, you conquered me; it's a love invasion! / (A/N-yes, they really had that song on the show. /
"Ohhh…" groaned Dib. "Make it stop!!!"
"Sorry, Dib," Zil said. "We've gotta stay on the porch until the others come." So the three sat on the porch with their ears covered, desperately waiting to the other two groups to show up.
"Where are we?" asked Gaz Destiny.
"I don't know," said Kami. "Wish we had a map of this stupid place."
Gaz had long since gotten bored and started playing her Gameslave again.
"Hey, let's go into that fast-food place," suggested Ztarlight.
"Good idea," said Kami.
"Maybe Herb's in there, so I can kill him off early," said Gaz Destiny. "Don't want that bag of pus in out way when the real stuff comes around."
The group went into the restaurant. There were only a handful of people in there. At the counter stood Herb.
"Eh…" said Ztar. The mere sight of him made her sick.
They went up to him.
"Hey, Target Practice, where's Mike Weird-Hair-Boy's house?" Gaz Destiny asked.
"It's down that road. It's 324 West Avenue. It's big and white and—"
"STOP TALKING!" said Gaz. Apparently his voice annoyed her as much as the others.
Grateful for Gaz's outburst, the group went outside. Before leaving, Gaz Destiny had one more thing to do.
"Hey, Target Practice," she called again.
"Yeah?" he asked like an idiot.
Gaz Destiny casually poked her head in from the doorway. Gun behind her back, she said "Thanks for the directions!" with a cheery smile. She lifted the gun and pulled the trigger of the laser gun at Herb's head and shot. No more annoying voice.
"Thank goodness that's over with," Ztar said. Like Herb had said, they went down the road and there was the white house. They saw Zil, Sugarbaby and Dib, eyes wide, shaking from overdose of the horrible music.
"Hi guys!" said Kami cheerily. Her face fell and her left eye twitched insanely. "What's that sound???" she growled, eye still going. Thankfully, Zim's group was walking up the driveway just then, because Kami launched herself through the door. Her body's outline remained, permanently in the wood. Zim, Gir, Pefgh and Cryingchild raced up the porch, just in time to see Kami screaming at the people inside. Mike and Angela sat on the couch, watching Cedric and the aliens make fools of themselves.
"STOP SINGING!!!" she screeched. The kids and aliens, both surprised, looked at her. Kami stayed there for a second before jumping on B. Bop and ripping pieces of his head off. "You suck at singing! Ah HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" she continued to pick the flesh from his skull. When she was done, she gorged his eyes out and shot him with her small but powerful laser gun, reducing him to dust.
"Anyone else wanna make a career out of singing???" Kami asked.
"Uh…hi," said Cedric to the cast of invaders. Unfortunately, that wasn't heard. The whole IZ team was on the ground, squealing with laughter.
"That wasn't funny!" said 2-T. "He was our friend."
Zil stopped laughing long enough to give a comment. "He may have been your friend, but he was a sucky singer!!!"
"Wait until Bog finds out about this!!!" said Do-Wah.
"Bog?!" Zim said from the floor. "Bwa-ha!!!" What a joke!"
"Bog'll kick your little green @$$!" said Do-Wah.
"Ha Uh huh. Your race couldn't take out the weakest Irken on our planet."
For a moment, the 3 humans and 2 remaining aliens could be heard choking on their own throats.
"Y-you're Irken Invader Zim?!" said 2-T in disbelief.
"Yup," Zim said. "And here to kick your blue @$$!!!"
"Yo…we're sorry about your time slot," said Mike nervously. "But it's not our fault."
"Shut up weird hair boy!" said Cryingchild. She jumped forward with a razor. A cloud of dust rose around the two, hiding them from view. Before long, the razor was heard going and seconds later, Mike's 'weird hair' fell on the floor a few feet away from the battle right in front of the audience, with pieces of scalp still stuck to it. It was about five seconds more before the IZ team was down again, dying of laughter. The remaining members of the BUM team stood appalled.
Finally, Cryingchild emerged the victor. Irregular pieces of his body were strewn about the floor near Cryingchild. She clicked off her razor. The room was silent.
"Who thinks I should be a barber?" she asked.
Just then, Angela started crying.
"Miiiiiike," she wailed.
"Shut up, pathetic earth-worm," said Pefgh. Irritably. Pefgh ran to her, jumped and did a fantastic, perfect, not to mention forceful, roundhouse kick that took Angela's head clean off of her shoulders. Pefgh landed in a neat crouch position upon landing. She was greeted by cheering.
The IZ team formed a semi-circle around 20T, Do-Wah and Cedric.
"Whoa—" said 2-T. "I'm sure that we can talk this over." And then he did that annoying thing where he puts his bottom lip over his front one. Zim closed an eye before screaming—
"YOU ARE THE MOST PATHETIC EXCUSE OF AN ALIEN INVADER TEAM LEADER THAT I HAVE EVER LAID EYES ON!!!" and then shoving 2-T's head through the wall. 2-T pulled his head out of the wall only to have Zim's fist punch him in the face hard and send him back into the wall. This happened over and over again. The IZ team stood speechless, watching Zim put 2-T's head through the wall over and over again.
"STOP IT!!!" Zil screamed. Everyone looked at her, even 2-T, with much difficulty since his face was covered in blood and one eye was practically out of its socket. She stuck a laser gun in Zim's Martian-blood adorned gloved hand. "Use this."
Zim set the laser to burn and shot a flamethrower that any pyromaniac would be proud of. 2-T burned for awhile, running around before his charred corpse fell to the ground. Zil threw up on it.
"Thank Tallest that's over with," she said wiping her mouth. "Sheesh, Zim, don't get you mad."
Cedric and Do-Wah were leaning against each other for support.
"Ahhhh," Do-Wah moaned softly. "What do we do now?"
Now, we all know how very annoying Do-Wah's voice is, right? And we all know how very easily annoyed Gaz can get, right? Right.
Upon hearing that annoying voice, Gaz's fingers slipped off the controls of her Gameslave and she lost. It was the last level, too.
Gaz looked up and gave Do-Wah her extra-ten-times-worse-than-normal- death stare, which she had never ever used. She got up and pulled two sporks out of nowhere. She walked up to him and stuck the two sporks in his eyes. Jelly came out. Then she put her head on his head and squeezed the skin. There was a little ball forming on the top of his head and his skin was thinning out over the rest of his body. Then-riiiiiiiiiiiip! – Do-Wah had skin on more. His organs fell from his skeleton and his eyes with the sporks still in them fell to the ground. Gaz walked triumphantly away. Only Cedric was left.