TITLE: Breaking It Slowly (2/5)
AUTHOR: Bellerophon
EMAIL: bellerophon_666@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: WWE
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. Don't sue me. The song (Bombs Away) belongs to Lagwagon.
DISTRIBUTION: If you want it, just ask.
RATING: PG15 some language
SUMMARY: Edge finds Matt Hardy drowning his misery at a bar. Continuation of the (supposed) oneshot.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I originally intended for this to be a one-shot, but most of the people who reviewed asked me to write more. As I thought about it, I realised there was a hell of a lot more of the story to be told.
You carry the burden
It fills you with regret
You never finished
That feeling incomplete
You carry their baggage
The guilt that holds you down
Matt gathered his things and packed them in his bag. Thank God his first Smackdown was over. As invigorating and refreshing as it had been to be honestly by himself for once, it had also been exhausting. Seeing Shannon and Shane teaming again and helping them out had been fun even though he knew they were going to be wary of him for a while to come but he knew the main struggle was still ahead of him.
Shannon had been good friends with Jeff back in Omega. He and Shane had looked at Matt strangely in their encounter backstage but Matt had been too psyched up to care. Instead, he just flashed his Version 1 handsign and ran off, exhilerated by the sudden rush of freedom he felt.
Matt Hardy, Version 1. He liked the sound of that. It sounded like the start of something new. And that was what Matt had been craving for a very long time. The thought of being his own man had held back that horrible sense of suffocation for months, until RAW when it all came crashing down...
Throwing his bag over his shoulder, Matt left the lockerroom. There were no other guys in there, most still chatting about the show around the food and drinks carts. And that was just fine for Matt. Jeff was the social sibling in the Hardy family, Matt was happy to stay in the background. Except when it came to wrestling, of course.
He was walking down the corridor, not bothering to keep a small smile off his face when he heard footsteps behind him.
"Hey, Matt!"
Matt spun around and frowned when he saw who was approaching him. "Edge."
Edge came jogging up behind him, blonde hair still wet from a recent shower. "Hey, man. You took off so quick after your Tequila binge, I didn't get a chance to ask if you were coming to Smackdown. I figured you were, though."
Matt nodded. "I caught an early flight, so I could finalise my contract with Stephanie."
"Yeah, well, Jeff was pretty keen to talk to you." Edge remembered waking Jeff up the following morning. He'd looked around for his brother, anxious to sort out their problem, but Matt had been long gone.
Matt shrugged and began walking again.
"You know, I always figured that Jeff would be a morning person." Edge laughed shortly. "It took me half the morning to get him out of bed."
"It's a common misconception. But it's the other way around. Jeff sleeps like a log and doesn't get up before ten if he can help it." Matt felt a sudden abysmal settle over him, like a familiar shadow. "I used to pour water over his head to wake him up early."
Edge recognised the onset of unwelcome memories. "Come on, man." Edge nudged Matt's shoulder. "I know a good place for dinner."
"I'm not hungry."
"Well, I am. Let's go." And Edge dragged Matt to the little pizza place he remembered from the last time he visited this town. Pulling in to a sweet little spot right in front of the restaurant, Edge grinned widely and gestured around. "This might be a sign of good things to come."
"What, a good parking spot?" Matt pulled himself out of the car.
"Yeah."
"Sorry to tell you, Edge, but you can't park here." Matt smirked. "No Parking."
"Pfff, we won't get a ticket." Edge slammed shut his door and walked into the restaurant. Matt just shook his head and followed him in.
They were seated quickly and ordered their pizzas. Edge settled into his seat and looked around. It was a nice little place, pictures on the walls and cute waitresses. "So how was your first show by yourself?"
"Good. It was something different." Matt said thoughtfully. "Kind of surreal, you know? But good. I don't want to go back now. I don't ever want to go back."
"Do you think you could even if you wanted to?" Edge stopped talking when he noticed the waitress walking over. "Food's here."
The pizzas were placed on their table by the waitress. Matt and Edge gave her the money to pay for them and she left, leaving them to their meals. They started eating and Edge resumed the conversation. "Do you think Jeff would let this go and start teaming with you again?"
Matt shrugged as he chewed. "Don't know. If I were him, I probably wouldn't but then I'm not Jeff. He never does what you'd expect."
"But if he did want to reunite, maybe only for one or two matches, would you do it?"
"What do you care?" Matt frowned at Edge. "It's not even your business, you nosy bastard."
Edge raised an eyebrow at the sudden turn in Matt's mood. "Well, excuse me for asking a simple question. I was just interested to know." It had Edge's bitter anger raised at Matt's mood change.
"Yeah, well maybe you should stop being so interested." Matt challenged Edge which only served to make Edge that touch angrier.
"Stop fucking me around, Matt." Edge dropped his slice and glared at Matt. "This is all horseshit and we both know it. What was really going on?"
"You want know what the real problem was?" Matt snapped. "They didn't want to change. Everything suited Jeff, everything reflected *his* personality. I tried talking to Lita, dropping a few hints, and she didn't get it. She didn't want to get it. And after years of being what Jeff wanted me to be, I got sick and tired of not being able to be myself. That's why I did it." Matt took a slice of pizza and started eating again.
Edge sighed and looked around. Their little outburst had attracted some attention but it was pretty quiet int he restaurant and everyone was going back to their business. He toyed with his glass as he tried to find some sense in the whole damn situation.
They ate in silence for a while before Matt put his slice of pizza down and stared piercingly at Edge.
Edge looked up, slightly disconcerted, and wiped his face. "Do I have sauce on my chin?"
"Surprisingly, no, considering the size of it." Matt broke a piece of bread in half before continuing. "I was wondering why you brought me out to dinner."
"Well, at about eight in the evening I tend to get hungry..."
"That's not what I meant." Matt gave Edge a look. "Is this like some weird thing to do with Christian and what he did?"
Edge frowned and looked down at his food. "Partly, I guess." He hadn't really sorted out his thoughts about the whole thing. All he knew was that he wanted to know why it happened. "I guess I figured that if you had a good reason to turn on Jeff then maybe Christian..." He trailed off.
Matt picked up a fork and poked at his food. "I don't know about Christian or why he did it, but I know there's always a reason."
And that was what worried Edge. After thinking about Matt and his reasons, which Edge had yet to fully sort out in his head, Edge had wondered if Jeff ever noticed that Matt was unhappy. And if Jeff hadn't noticed Matt's good reasons, then what if Edge hadn't noticed that Christian was unhappy. What if Christian had a good reason for why he did it and Edge just never wanted to see it?
"I don't know if there's ever a good reason though." Matt muttered. "If there's any excuse for..."
"Excuse me, gentlemen."
Edge and Matt looked up to see the owner of the restaurant standing next to their table.
"I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner but was that your blue car parked right out front?"
Edge frowned. "Yes. Why?"
"I regret to inform you that your vehicle was just towed away. I think you were parked in a No Parking zone. Enjoy the rest of your meal, please." The restaurant owner left quickly, leaving a gaping Edge behind.
Matt couldn't restrain his smirk. "I told you not to park there."
"Looks like we're walking."
"Walking?" Matt raised an eyebrow. "That's funny, but I think it would be easier to catch a cab."
"Yeah, it might be easier," Edge held up his wallet. "But I have no money left on me right now. Neither do you, if I'm not mistaken."
Matt futilely checked his wallet. "Damn it." He heard Edge snickering. "I don't know why your laughing. You have to walk as well."
Edge ignored that and they left the restaurant. Walking back to the hotel, both men were caught up in their own thoughts. Matt was still considering the things Edge had said earlier. "You know how you asked if I would team again with Jeff if he wanted to?"
"Yeah." Edge scuffed his feet along the curb as they walked in the warm night air.
"I wouldn't." Matt breathed out slowly. "I think I'd be too worried about getting pulled back into tagging. I like being a singles competitor and I'm not ready to give that up."
Edge nodded. Well, that answered his question but still left him confused about everything. They walked the rest of the way in silence.
As they approached the hotel, Edge had a thought. "Is it my responsibility to get my rental car out of the pound?"
"Well, I'm sure as shit not doing it."
"Look, Carolina, you'll do what I tell you to do." Edge smirked as Matt gave him a look. "Sorry, do you prefer Matt Howdy?"
"You son of a..." Matt grabbed Edge in a headlock and they fought their way to the front of the hotel and they were still pushing each other when they walked through the front doors. Neither of them noticed the woman walking over to them until she wrapped an arm around Matt's waist. "Hey, boys."
"Nidia, what do you want?" Edge didn't hesitate to keep the disgust out of his voice.
"Ain't it obvious?" Nidia purred in Matt's ear, before he stepped out of her grasp. "Oh, come on, country boy. Your little girlfrind's been gone so long and every man's got needs."
"Yeah, and you're making me feel the need to be sick." Matt rolled his eyes at the diva.
She sneered back. "From what I hear, your girlfriend ain't gonna be your girlfriend much longer anyways." She eyed Edge who saw the sudden glint of distress in Matt's eyes. She reached over to stroke Edge's arm and he pulled away.
"Don't touch me, Nidia." Edge frowned down at her. "God knows what diseases you're carrying."
Nidia pouted before sliding against Matt again. "Hey, baby, the offer stands. My Jamie likes to share."
Matt just pushed her away and kept walking towards the elevator.
Edge barely cast a glance at Nidia as he followed the stocky man. "Dude, I think I'm going to have nightmares tonight."
"You and me both." Matt snorted. "What floor are you on?"
The elevator doors opened and they both walked in. "Seven. I think." Edge check his pockets for his key to check before he realised something he hadn't thought of. "Matt?"
"Yeah?"
"I kind of left the card to my room in my car." Edge tried to ignore the sudden outburst of laughter from his friend.
"Looks like you'll be sleeping on the streets then." Matt sniggered at the look on Edge's face. "Alright, you can stay in my room."
The doors opened at Matt's floor and Edge was about to get out when he saw Matt press all the buttons on the elevator. "What are you doing?"
Matt left the elevator grinning widely. "Just a little fun."
"And to think that all this time I thought Jeff was the weird one." Edge shook his head. The two men walked down the corridor to Matt's room.
Matt opened his door and walked into his hotel room. Edge followed and watched as Matt settled into a chair with a book. "Hey, man, aren't you going to entertai your guest?"
"What do you want me to do, dress up in a clown suit and make animal ballons for you?" Matt rolled his eyes. "I've been trying to finish this book for about three weeks now. So no, I'm not going to entertain you." Matt flipped it open to his book mark.
Edge frowned from where he stood. "That's a bit rude, don't you think?"
"I've never been accused of being socially correct."
"I wonder why." Edge looked around and tried to figure what he could do. "I'm bored. I want to do something."
"You can do what you like. I want to finish reading this book." Matt turned a page and ignored Edge when he pulled a face.
Sighing,Edge picked up Matt's mobile phone, intending to play some games on it, but stopped when he saw all the voicemail messages on it. "Hey, Matt."
"Please just let me finish this book. I've got like five pages to go. Then you'll get your animal ballons."
"Sweet." Edge grinned. "I just thought you'd like to know that you've got a ton of messages filling up your voicemail."
"You can erase them," Matt didn't look up from his book.
Edge looked at the phone and tried to figure out how to do that. He never liked mobiles too much and Matt's was some weird model he'd never seen before. He pressed a few buttons randomly and frowned when a voice started faintly playing out of the speaker. Edge brought it up and listened, hoping for some sort of hints as to what he had done.
But when he listened, he realised he had accidently played Matt's messages. And he recognised the terribly sad voice speaking.
"Matt?"
"Mmm?"
"Are all these messages from Lita?"
Matt finally looked up from his book. "Did you listen to my messages?"
"Only one and that was an accident." Edge put the phone down. "Have you spoken to Lita at all since RAW?"
"...not really." Matt looked away, shame faced.
Edge couldn't believe it. That was two days now that Lita had been kept in the dark by Matt. "Have you even listened to the messages.
Matt's silence said it all.
"You need to talk to her." Edge said seriously. "You can't just let Lita suffer like this."
"I will. Soon." Matt said noncommittally, biting his lip and avoiding eye contact.
"Bullshit." Edge couldn't keep the anger out of his voice. "You might have your reasons for ignoring Jeff, and believe it or not, I can understand that. But you can't just stop talking to Lita like that. She deserves more from you. She deserves better than that."
"I know." Matt still couldn't look up, his dark eyes stuck firmly to the floor.
"No, I don't think you do. Matt, most of the guys in this company think you are the luckiest son of a bitch ever. Not only was Lita, *Lita*, your girlfriend, but she forgave you after what you pulled when you broke up Team Xtreme the first time. Most women wouldn't give you the time of day after that stunt." Edge caught Matt's eyes. "She loves you, Matt, and it's blind as day. And if you ruin what you two have just because you're afraid to talk to her, then you're even more of an idiot than I ever thought you were."
Matt bit his lip before speaking. "She doesn't need someone like me."
"I'm serious, Matt. You talk to Lita and tell her what's going on. Or I'll talk to her for you." Edge waited to see what Matt would say to that.
"I've got the rest of the week off until next week's filming." Matt finally spoke. "I can fly down for a day or two. I'll, uh, I'll go and see Lita."
Edge nodded in approval. He didn't miss the irony in this whole situation. Him, the betrayed brother, helping Matt, the betraying brother. Maybe it was his way of dealing with the residue of his own brother's disloyalty. Maybe he was just trying to make some sense of what had happened to him, by understanding why Matt did what he did. Maybe he was just torturing himself to think that if Matt and Jeff could reconcile again, then he and Christian had some sort of chance as well.
He watched as Matt sat back and finished the last pages of his precious book and then set it down, leant back and closed his eyes.
"Was it a good ending?" Edge couldn't help but ask.
Matt half smiled. "The guy got the girl. What more can you ask for?"
Edge looked away. He didn't voice his thoughts that there was a lot more you could ask for. A brother, for one thing.
They spent the rest of the night prank calling other wrestlers and mucking around, not talking about Lita or Jeff or Christian or anything along those lines. Edge saw a very nervous Matt off from the airport the next day. Then he was left to his own devices for the next few days while his own troublesome thoughts plagued him.
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