Tuesday, December 2nd, 2001. 3:24 A.M.

Nny's entry: Dear Die-ary,

I know it's been a long time since I've written in you, but lots of things have been happening. For one, the RV was stolen. Somewhere in.. somewhere, we were stopped at an intersection and I saw this guy walk across the street. Now this wouldn't have been such a big deal if it'd been at a corner, but nooo, the guy just walked right across in BETWEEN the corners! Damn jaywalker!! Obviously, I had to get out and teach him a lesson. I hopped out of the car (I think it was around two in the morning, so no one followed me out) and tackled the guy to the sidewalk, shoving a knife of some sort into every orifice I could find. Apparently he had a gun, but very bad aim. I know I heard a gun shot, and I guess the others did too, since they all came running out of the RV. Well, all except Squee and Dib. I imagine Squee was too scared and Dib was probably in the bathroom. Anyway, by the time they'd pried me off the lifeless body of that jaywalker, the RV was gone and there was a huge pile up under the stoplight; the stray bullet had hit it. After Kris and Blair beat the shit out of me, we went to look for our stolen automovehicle. I was really worried about poor Squee, and I was hoping he'd found the switchblade I'd hidden in his bag. Amazingly enough, we found a little trail of walnut shells that lead us to a rundown Taco Smell in West Virginia. None of us realized it before, but Gir had been in the stolen vehicle as well. The poor thief went insane. I found it all very amusing, myself. Anyway, we've got the RV back, along with our diaries and our three lost.. people. Kris and Blair beat me up again before we set off, so I'm cleaning up some of the wounds as I write. I s'pose I'll go now.

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2001. 4:02 A.M.

Squee's entry: Dear Journal,

The past days have been very scary! I was in the RV all alone with Dib and Gir 'cause everybody else went outside, and somebody came and took us away! He was a big scary man with a spork! When he came inside, I hid in the corner by one of the bunks, Dib just kinda stared, and Gir ran around in little circles. Shmee told me to go set him on fire, but I thought I probably shouldn't. After a looooong time, Gir tackled the man's head and forced him to drive into a Taco Smell parking lot, where we crashed into a really big speed bump. After a few hours, the others showed up on a bus, kicked the man out, and we were back on track., after Johnny got a quick beating. I thought that was kinda mean. I wonder what he did…?

Love,

Todd

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2001. 4:16 A.M.

Kris's entry:

Goddamnit.. Nny's gone and fucked things up again. Again, I say, AGAIN! He let Squee, Dib, Gir, and our transportation get STOLEN just so he could play Justice Man and kill some friggin' jaywalker! I could've KILLED him, I was so pissed! Of course, I've calmed down now that we've found them. I've never been so proud of Gir in my entire life. Using his insanity to his advantage. And he was smart enough to leave us a trail, though I'm not sure he did it knowingly. Squee's been having brand new nightmares; he keeps waking up and screaming "SPORK!!" Wish there was somethin' I could do for the kid. I was looking around for my misplaced trumpet mouthpiece earlier (Don't know why; I don't play trumpet.) and found a switchblade in Squee's bag. Now come on! That SO does not belong to him. Methinks I'll go ask Nny about it.

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2001. 4:44 A.M.

Zim's entry: Computer,

These humans are INSANE! They actually STEAL one another's transportation vessels! It's pure insanity! Gir seems to be intact after the whole I-got-stolen escapade. I suppose that's a good thing. … I suppose. Dib is STILL ALIVE. Why aren't those Argonian Crystal Cubes working?! Is he some kind of invincible super-human or something?! ARGH! I think I'll get back to plotting his downfall.

Invader Zim, signing off.

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2001. 5:02 A.M.

Gir's entry: AHAHA! DIARY!!

I went on a TRIP! It was so fun! There was a big sticky man with plastic silverware who took us to Wehst Vur-jinya. I like him. He had a shiny head. The little squealy kid turned into a statue, I think, 'cause he didn't move at ALL for almost the WHOLE way. Mr. Big-Head looked kinda scared, and he was watchin' our new friend a lot with wide eyes. I danced and ate some of the egg salad I brought. It was green. I feel explody, so I'm gonna go hug Master's ankles. BYE!!!!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE,

Gir!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2001. 5:04 A.M.

Blair's entry:

BLEEEEEH!! Damn Nny! Stupid Mr. I-Have-To-Kill-Jay-Walkers-Because-Of-The-Jay-Walky-Ness. Kris and I beat him up, though. 'Twas fun. BUUUUT the RV got stolen with Dib, Gir, and Squee in it. Poor Squee… I think he's even more traumatized than before… The sporky-ness of it all. Freakishly enough, though, Gir somehow saved the day using his insanity powers of DOOM. Cool, ain't it? Dib's in the bathroom again. Squee's tweakin' out. Gir's clinging to Zim. Zim's planning something. Nny's driving. Kris is glaring. We're in West Virginia. Greeeeeeat…

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2001. 5:05 A.M.

Dib's entry: Dear Swollen Eye-Balls,

That Nny character is very interesting. Our RV got stolen with Gir, Todd, and I in it! How spoooooky! The dude had a spork. It was terrifying. I couldn't keep my eyes off him. I think Kris and Blair beat Nny up because he looks… well… beat up. Todd's been having even more nightmares now and I don't think Gir's helping. He keeps bouncing around screaming about the spork. Zim seems very peeved at the moment. He keeps looking at me with this wide-eyed stare, like I'm some sort of super thingy. I'll get him yet! Mwahahaha! Eh… yeah…